That’s Good Enough
Now it was done.
I can do it! No—that’s not it.
I flopped over onto my side again like a newborn deer.
Thud—
Deok-su hurried over and caught me before I could fully collapse.
“You can’t just get up all of a sudden.”
“I have to practice.”
“No, you don’t! You need to rest!”
I stuck a leg over the bed rail, trying to climb out.
“I’m getting out!”
“No, you’re not.”
Deok-su scooped me up and plopped me right back where I’d started.
Then he said to me with grave solemnity, “You have to hurt.”
Wow, Deok-su. Let’s maybe not say “hurt” with that face.
At once, all the strength drained out of my body.
W-what kind of terror tactic is this?
That was an impressively efficient way to kill motivation.
I was still reeling from the shock when Deok-su patted my stomach.
“Gongza needs to eat something and rest.”
Just then, the auntie came in carrying a bowl of porridge that smelled wonderfully savory.
A sigh escaped me before I could stop it.
“You can always learn the choreography once your body has healed.”
“Filming is in two weeks, though!”
“Plenty of time.”
Deok-su fed me a spoonful of lukewarm porridge.
I could just hold it and eat it myself!
I was about to lift my arm when I realized it, too. My shoulder joint was tugging horribly.
Ooh, moving hurts.
I hadn’t noticed earlier because I’d been too excited.
So that’s why they stopped me.
I quietly accepted the porridge and ate. But there was something I needed to set straight.
“Teacher. Two weeks is definitely not a long time.”
“You can learn it well enough.”
“Teacher. How many times did Gongza do it earlier?”
“Seventy-seven times.”
That was a lot.
But listen.
“Even after all that, I still couldn’t learn the dance!”
I could feel Deok-su getting flustered.
“Teacher! Gongza is hopeless at this!”
Truly hopeless.
“I-I see.”
“But I still have to be good at it!”
Because my image was genius, that’s why.
I flashed him a bright smile.
“Gongza will work really hard!”
If it wouldn’t work, I’d make it work.
I clenched my fist and opened it again. My muscles throbbed, but I couldn’t give up here.
“For now, eat.”
Deok-su stared at me for a moment, then let out a small sigh. I pretended not to notice and focused on eating the porridge.
* * *
“Uh, okay. Hah.”
Deok-su looked quietly at the director. The director, clearly flustered, wiped the sweat from the bridge of his nose.
“Ah, if it’s like this……”
The director muttered under his breath, but Deok-su caught every word.
“No, um… well… I mean, we kind of knew in advance, but, um……”
What kind of reaction was that?
Deok-su adjusted his sunglasses. He was irritated by the director’s half-baked response.
Our Gongza worked hard.
Then why weren’t they praising him?
He hurried over and asked in a low voice, “Director Yu. If I’m not being rude, may I ask you something?”
Director Yu jerked a shoulder, startled.
“This may be a little impolite to ask, and I apologize. But I can’t help it.”
When Deok-su pushed forward with his face alone, the director unconsciously took a step back. Deok-su spoke carefully, enunciating each word.
“What exactly did our Gongza do badly?”
The director immediately shook his head.
“No! No! He was good! Just like the dance teacher said. We even checked the video.”
“Is that so? Then why……”
Deok-su looked the director up and down. Honestly, he couldn’t understand it.
Gongza did well.
The child in front of him, barely five years old, had practiced with unbelievable dedication.
He’s a good boy when you close your eyes and picture him.
Gongza had been practicing the choreography day and night. Then, at some point, he had done what one might call mastering it—just as a p’ansori singer earns their voice through years of effort, Gongza had somehow earned his dance.
He suddenly got rhythm.
He had collapsed once, then gotten back up, and after that he’d been able to do the routine.
Thinking about it still made the corners of his eyes sting. But he couldn’t cry here. Deok-su pressed hard at the outer corners of his eyes, forcing the emotion down.
The director muttered softly, “S-so……”
It was hard to hear. So Deok-su bent his knees and lowered his head.
Because he was backlit by the lights, shadows fell over his face. The director went pale and swallowed hard.
He asked carefully, “Y-you’re not going to hit me, right?”
Deok-su blinked.
“I don’t use violence.”
“Ah. I see. You don’t use violence.”
The director kept mumbling.
“You only don’t use violence?”
Deok-su frowned.
“Just answer honestly.”
The director’s eyes trembled again.
Then he answered with startling frankness.
“I-I’m saying! He was too good!”
What did that mean now?
The director lowered his voice. “Normally, for this kind of thing, they even hold auditions for the child selection.”
Ah, yes.
Deok-su stroked his chin. Thinking about it, that made sense.
It’s something that needs a skill check.
But Gongza had just been cast outright.
“Of course, we did test his skills here and there, but honestly, we weren’t expecting Gongza to be great at the dance. It was more, you know, the star power.”
Deok-su frowned. The director flinched and took another step back.
“S-so, that’s what I mean. Gongza was too good. He looked like an idol! Did he get early training or something? Well, of course Ma Soo-jung wouldn’t just leave him alone! The kid’s clearly had a privileged upbringing, so I guess he’s good at dancing too.”
“That’s not it.”
“Pardon?”
“Gongza didn’t receive that kind of training.”
Deok-su was practically huffing with indignation. For some reason, he felt deeply wronged.
“Our Gongza worked hard.”
“What? Ah, well, yes, I’m sure he did. He learned the choreography well.”
“Ah……”
Deok-su pressed a hand to his forehead. A hot surge of emotion welled up in his chest.
“It wasn’t just that.”
“Oh, well. The boy really is diligent, from the sound of it. Maybe that’s also the result of early education?”
Deok-su let out a long sigh. This was exactly the type of person who never listened to anyone else.
He only hears what he wants to hear.
Deok-su made one last attempt at persuasion.
“Our Gongza practiced the choreography hard.”
“Yes, he’s good. Does he take ballet lessons or something?”
Before he knew it, Deok-su had clenched and unclenched his fists. The things he’d said earlier had, apparently, also gone in one ear and out the other.
He was just about to say something else when a small pair of arms wrapped around him from behind.
Deok-su turned around. Gongza, dressed in colorful clothes, was smiling softly.
“Teacher! Gongza is sleepy!”
“Ah, I see.”
Deok-su quickly lifted the child into his arms. Come to think of it, it was about time for a nap.
“Is filming over?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go home!”
“All right.”
Deok-su glared at the director as he said, “I’ll be going.”
“Ah, yes, go ahead! Gongza! Take care!”
“Yes! Goodbye!”
Gongza looked around and shouted cheerfully, “Goodbye!”
Hearing the child’s voice, the staff all waved and told him to take care. The boy smiled brightly and waved back.
How cute.
But that wasn’t all.
He could have just left.
This tiny child had shown every bit of etiquette possible on a set.
Carrying the child, Deok-su suddenly stopped walking. The indignation from earlier surged up all over again.
He tried to hold it in. But perhaps because they were already a fair distance from the set, tears sprang to his eyes.
No, this isn’t good.
But his eyes were already wet. Watching him, the child let out a small sigh.
* * *
He’s crying again.
I let out a small sigh. This man really was far too soft-hearted for his own good.
“Teacher! Gongza is okay!”
“Hup. You heard all that?”
Of course I did. You were right next to me.
They said they weren’t expecting greatness.
Well, that could be true.
I’m just the wrapping paper on a packaged product.
But wasn’t that what promotion was, in the end?
If you ignore the wrapping, how’s the product supposed to sell?
Still, now that I thought about it, choreography was its own specialty. I didn’t have a certificate for it, but the fact that they held an audition and picked people that way made sense.
My acting is guaranteed, but not the dance.
That was entirely possible.
Deok-su trembled and said, “Doesn’t that make you upset?”
“Not really.”
“How hard did Gongza work? He practiced until he collapsed, and they say it was early education.”
I burst out laughing.
“You could see it that way!”
“You didn’t get that kind of thing, did you?”
Well, no.
“But Teacher! We have a practice room at our house!”
When I asked for one, Mom made me one.
“Most people don’t have that.”
How was that any different from early education?
It is true that I was blessed with a good environment.
I couldn’t really blame the director for seeing it that way.
“So you can think of it that way too!”
As soon as I said it, I regretted it.
I quietly lifted my head. Tears were dripping from Deok-su’s eyes as he carried me.
Ah. I messed up.
The tears streaming down from behind the sunglasses were frighteningly intense. I quietly looked around. Luckily, there was no one passing by.
Deok-su rubbed at his eyes and said, “Hup. An adult’s narrow-mindedness is not something a little Gongza needs to understand.”
Mm, fair enough.
For an ordinary child, anyway.
But I wasn’t ordinary, was I?
“Teacher. Not everything you do well gets praised!”
It would be nice if it did, but it didn’t matter if it didn’t.
“B-but still! You worked hard!”
That was true, but still.
“It’s okay if the director doesn’t know that!”
Deok-su’s tears fell harder. I sighed and said, “Teacher knows Gongza worked hard. That’s enough!”
Well, and Mom knew too.
Deok-su sniffled. I patted his arm.
“Really? It’s enough if only I know?”
“Yes!”
Let’s go with that.
It is a little disappointing that the fans don’t know, though.
Still, I suppose there couldn’t be that many fans for a child actor, but it was better to show a good side anyway.
“Hngh. Snff. Hah!”
Wow, Deok-su. Why aren’t you stopping the tears?
“Hngh. Gong… Gongza really is an angel.”
No, really, angel was a bit much. Mom did this too—everyone seemed to think I was far more amazing than I really was.
I’m just experienced, that’s all.
I was about to say something, but decided to close my mouth instead.
Fine. Let’s just wait for him to stop crying.
Don’t provoke him.
Deok-su scrubbed at his face with one hand. I quietly took the baby hand towel from his pocket and handed it to him.
I’d like him to stop before he has to drive.
Was that possible?
“Hngh, sniff.”
Wow, it was getting worse.
Honestly, I didn’t even work that hard.
For supporting actor Lee Hanjo, this was nothing.
There’ll be plenty more of these moments ahead, too.
There was still a long road ahead if I wanted to keep up the genius image.
I quietly wiped the tears from the corners of Deok-su’s eyes with the towel.
Maybe I should only work hard where no one can see me.
Too much affection could be a hassle, too.
I didn’t know that.
I covered my mouth so Deok-su wouldn’t see me. For some reason, a little laugh slipped out anyway.
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