The First Real Smile
Why?
I thought about it for a moment, then shook my head.
Don’t worry about it.
I didn’t know what it was, but if I obsessed over it, I’d lose.
Ms. Yoon Jung-hyun pressed her nose lightly to the crown of my head and closed her eyes.
One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.
And exactly three seconds later, her eyelids began to flutter.
Huh?
Wait, is that it?
Her eyes were half-lidded.
The insomnia cure is absolutely insane.
I wasn’t the only one surprised. Ms. Yoon hurriedly forced her eyes open.
“Oh, my?”
“Ms. Yoon, what is it?”
“No, I mean—I just got sleepy for a second?”
She motioned to her manager.
“What? Really?”
“When was the last time I felt sleepy? And, Seung-kyung, come here. Don’t you smell something nice coming from him?”
Her manager walked over to me and sniffed.
“Huh? Me?”
“Exactly! What an odd kid. Is that shampoo?”
“Baby shampoo doesn’t usually have a strong scent. But it does smell nice. What is it?”
“I think this smell is what’s making me sleepy. Find out what fragrance it is.”
“Really? Ms. Yoon, I’ll think hard about it!”
I hesitated for a moment.
It’s lavender, but if kids my age say they know that, wouldn’t that be a little weird?
I was already getting called strange enough as it was.
And people keep saying I’m a genius, even though I’m not.
What genius?
I looked at the manager and gave her my brightest smile.
Please do find it out.
Well, lavender wasn’t exactly some rare, mysterious scent.
Just then, one of the staff members called out, “Child actor, please get ready.”
At once, Deok-su came over and said, “Let’s change your clothes.”
Ah, right. The costume.
My heart began to pound. The movie shoot was finally starting.
Come to think of it, I had never really had the chance to show my acting.
No, wait. Emergency Room and the commercial were acting too.
It was just that I hadn’t been satisfied.
I was only smiling for those.
Maybe that was why When the Wind Touches felt like an oasis to me when I was starving for a real chance to act.
I need people to recognize my acting too!
I knew exactly how thrilling that could be.
Ah, I’m excited.
My heart was racing. I was smiling because the thought of acting made me happy, and the director, looking at the monitor, said, “Was our film always this refined?”
What did he mean?
“I suppose so.”
“It’s a low-budget film, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“And yet it looks like this?”
The director’s voice wobbled slightly.
“Wow. Forget the lighting and everything else—just the fact that he’s pretty makes it feel instantly classy.”
Ah.
“Exactly. Even in those worn-out clothes, he looks like a young master returning home.”
“Seriously, his face is unbelievable.”
Everyone was marveling at my face.
That’s nice and all, but now you should be amazed by my acting too.
Of course, praise was good no matter what form it took.
“If he can act well with that face too, that’d be amazing.”
“Hey, Director. If you ask for that much, you’re stealing.”
“Right? Woo-jin’s only here because of Gongza.”
Oh, no.
Damn it. Their expectations are way too low.
So because they got investment thanks to me, everything else didn’t matter?
No, don’t do that!
A sigh escaped me before I could stop it. The director pushed his glasses up and said, “If I expected Gongza to act well too, that would make me a thief, wouldn’t it?”
“That’s right.”
No, Director. Just become a thief.
Why are you so lacking in ambition?
You’re not usually like this.
“All right, Gongza.”
The director walked up to me, bent his knees, and met my eyes.
“Gongza, you’re going to feel the wind from a big fan now.”
Oh, so this was the acting direction.
“Actually, you’re supposed to smile softly, but hmm. Assistant director, how does a kid smile softly?”
“Let’s see? Like when he sees pork cutlet?”
Excuse me. I’m still not even two years old.
That’s not something I should be eating. And if a kid sees pork cutlet, wouldn’t he just want to run over and eat it?
That was nowhere near a soft smile.
“What should we do? He needs to smile softly.”
“Right. What if we tell him to smile like he’s seeing his third-favorite thing?”
“Isn’t that too abstract? Will the kid understand it?”
So you know that much.
I gave an awkward little smile.
Because I’m the one who has to understand it, seriously.
Why exactly was I supposed to smile in this scene?
When the Wind Touches was a story about a man with supernatural powers.
Well, not the kind that moved objects or smashed things.
The man’s power was that he could see the threads tied around people’s wrists.
The protagonist could see people’s fates.
That was what the story was about.
And this is the opening scene, too.
The film began with the narration, “The wind feels nice.”
Laundry hung on the clothesline swayed in the breeze, and the camera slowly drifted to the child below.
The young protagonist smiled as the wind touched him.
The narration that came after that was the part I really loved.
It made the audience forget the ordinary setup in an instant and pull them straight into a story about something supernatural.
When the wind blows, the threads sway, too.
With that single line, the audience would immediately become curious about the threads.
I felt that way the first time I saw it too.
I took a deep breath.
But seriously—
I’m about to go into such an important opening scene, and this is the direction you’re giving me?
I stared at the director.
I thought the reason the first film failed was because of the actor.
Was the director partly to blame too?
Well, maybe that’s why it crashed so hard and then succeeded later on.
Wait. If this movie succeeds, does that mean the future version of Lee Jin-hwan never appears?
I blinked.
Lee Jin-hwan is a major figure in Korean film history.
Oh, no.
Well, maybe not.
Right, that must be it! Talent doesn’t just disappear!
Lee Jin-hwan said, “Let’s give it a try first.”
“Yes! Gongza, sit over there.”
The staff started moving. I sat down on the wooden porch. Maybe because I was still so small, my feet didn’t touch the floor.
I checked the camera position. Soon the fan began to spin, and the breeze picked up.
A child smiling softly in the wind.
It wasn’t a difficult scene. And for me, it was even easier.
My heart hammered.
I’m on a film set.
I was finally going to act.
The director shouted, “Ready, action!”
I kicked my legs a little. It felt nice when the hem of my clothes brushed against my skin.
I tilted my head up. My hair fluttered, so I gave it a little shake.
Then I smiled.
“Cut. Oh, okay...”
Was that already enough?
The fan shut off, and the wind disappeared. I looked at the director.
“W-wait, I think we should do it again as a bust shot first? Just that, and then, um...”
The director kept glancing back and forth between me and the screen.
“Wh-what is this?”
What do you mean? Hurry up and praise me, Director.
“No, I really thought I was dreaming.”
“You too, Director?”
“Seriously, that was the exact scene I wanted. I’d actually given up on the acting part. Damn it!”
Lee Jin-hwan suddenly pinched his own cheek.
“Ouch! That hurts.”
Excuse me. What are you doing?
“This isn’t a dream. Holy crap, that’s insane.”
The director slowly walked toward me.
“G-Gongza.”
“Y-yes!”
“Are you, like, a genius or something? No, because no matter how I look at it, there’s no way you can get that kind of performance from that kind of direction.”
So he did know.
Then maybe try being a little more specific next time.
No matter how naturally I could figure things out, I still needed instructions.
“H-how is this happening?”
I let out a small breath.
For a rookie director, he’s getting way too carried away.
Still, he needed to keep his head on straight. No, wait—you weren’t like this. How did someone like this become a master director?
“Hmm? Gongza?”
I smiled brightly.
“Gongza likes the wind too!”
For a moment, the director said nothing. Then, as if something had finally clicked, he slapped his hands together.
Clap.
“Ah, I get it.”
He muttered while looking at me, “I should’ve asked whether he liked the wind first. If he said yes, then I could’ve told him to smile! Ah, and I should’ve told him not to smile too much!”
Oh, dear.
Well, that’s not exactly right either, but it’s better than before.
Please, at least do it like that from now on, Director.
The acting direction has been weird ever since Emergency Room.
The director turned and shouted, “Let’s do the bust shot one more time. Gongza! You can do exactly what you did before, right?”
“Yess!”
The director hurried back to his place. I adjusted my posture just as I had before.
The fan started up again. When the action cue came, I moved my legs once more.
Still, maybe because I’m acting.
I was in a very good mood.
This next scene was with Ms. Yoon Jung-hyun.
In this movie, Ms. Yoon plays a grandmother with dementia.
It was an extremely difficult role. Maybe that was why the performance by the unknown actress who had originally appeared in When the Wind Touches felt a little awkward.
But Ms. Yoon would be different.
She was reading the script. The assistant director approached me and said, “Gongza.”
“Yess!”
“The scene we’re shooting now is where that grandma acts scary toward Gongza.”
Ah, that one.
The scene where the grandmother bullies the young protagonist.
The one where she screamed at him because he must not tell anyone about seeing the threads of fate.
“She’s going to shout at you that it’s absolutely not allowed.”
“Yess.”
“But she’s not angry at Gongza. It’s just acting.”
Ah.
So this was one of those child-actor care things.
Well, that didn’t seem bad. I nodded.
“Yess!”
“Wow. You answer so well.”
Just then, Ms. Yoon put down the script and asked, “Assistant director, what are you doing?”
“Oh, I was giving Gongza some acting direction.”
“Does he understand it?”
“Yes. Gongza is very smart.”
Ms. Yoon came over and sniffed the top of my head.
“Ah, nice. Assistant director, sniff this too. Don’t you smell something good coming off him?”
“Huh? You’re right.”
“Ugh, smelling this makes me sleepy again. How strange, seriously. You’re Ma Soo-jung’s son?”
“Yes. She’s famous.”
“Soo-jung is such a passionate kid. She’s really been blessed.”
Ms. Yoon kept sniffing as she spoke.
“I can’t take this kid home with me, can I?”
“M-Ms. Yoon?”
“I’m joking. I haven’t been sleeping well lately, so my head’s all over the place. Anyway, what about the acting?”
Ms. Yoon looked down at me.
“No matter how cute they are, I’m not fond of kids who can’t act.”
Ha-ha. Of course. You really were clear about what you liked.
That part never changes.
That was why you liked me in my previous life.
I grinned.
You’ll see once you try it.
What was the next scene again?
Was it the one where the dementia-stricken grandmother grabbed my shoulders and shook me?
It was pretty unsettling in the script.
The young protagonist had been shaken back and forth with a terrified expression, utterly flustered.
The assistant director said, “Gongza, when the teacher shakes you, you have to cry. Can you do that?”
Huh? Cry?
That was how the scene was originally written? It wasn’t in the movie I saw.
I blinked. That was unexpected.
Hmm, now that I think about it, crying would definitely be better for the script.
It would make the emotion more direct.
Why did they change it?
The assistant director let out a long sigh.
“S-so, can you cry? You need to do it while you’re frightened...”
Ah.
So the child actor back then probably couldn’t cry well enough.
Ms. Yoon said, “Can’t act, huh?”
“He’s been doing great so far. He seems like a genius.”
“Then why?”
“We haven’t verified whether he can handle crying scenes.”
“Tsk. How annoying.”
She muttered, “This is why acting with child actors is such a pain. They should’ve cast someone a little older. No matter how cute he is, still.”