Episode 36
For a second, I almost grabbed the hem of my shirt and bowed to the floor.
This, this is how they open a road for me?
I was Han Woo-jin’s son in the drama!
That alone will get me attention!
My hands trembled. And all the while, the beautiful woman who’d made this miracle happen kept talking on the phone.
“You know not to push our Gongza too hard, right?”
- Of course, of course! This is such a relief. I’d been worried because I couldn’t find a child actor who fit, and now a lifeline has dropped out of the sky! Hooray!
“Oh my, Director, you’re worked up.”
- The moment I saw him, I knew it was him! Han Woo-jin’s reason for living is his son, and for that he has to be lovable! But there are plenty of cute child actors and not many lovable ones, you know.
Hmm, Director. Aren’t those basically the same thing?
Cute is lovable.
As expected, Mom didn’t seem to know the difference either.
“Is there really that much difference?”
- There is. A huge difference. Cute just means the face is cute, but lovability comes from behavior. Your son is exactly that. How can a kid with such a tiny little body try to protect other people like that?
Mom covered her mouth and laughed.
“He does that a lot. Honestly, that’s what worries me.”
- What is?
“I keep wondering if he’s too good.”
Wow.
Mom, not everything needs your attention, but please don’t worry about that one.
I’m not that good of a guy.
Mom looked at me and smiled. I kept my expression innocent and smiled back. For some reason, my conscience kept getting jabbed.
I was trying to build an angelic image, but now it feels like they think I’m too good to be true?
Wasn’t this going to backfire on me somehow?
Mom’s hand, unaware of my turmoil, was nothing but gentle.
“Then please adjust the schedule.”
- Okay! I’ll call you back.
“Yes. See you next time, Director.”
Mom ended the call and let out a sigh.
No, Mom. Why the sudden sigh?
What are you worried about?
When I rubbed my face against the hand she was holding, she let out an even deeper sigh. Then Mom muttered under her breath, almost to herself.
“This is bad.”
Huh? What is?
“How did I not think of this? Who’s going to take our Gongza to the set?”
Ah.
T-this is a problem!
Now that she mentioned it, wasn’t it usually the parents who handled child actors’ schedules and drop-offs?
But Mom’s busy!
And I wasn’t signed to any agency, so of course I didn’t have a manager either.
T-this is a disaster.
Mom crossed her arms and fell into thought. Then Ansan-daek jumped in right away.
“I’ll go! What are you worried about?”
“Oh, would you go, Ansan-daek?”
“Of course. I went with him to the preview screening, didn’t I?”
“Thank you. Still, I’m worried, so it would be better if someone else went too. Hmm…”
Mom crossed her arms again and sank into thought.
Oh no, I’m sorry, Mom.
She stayed that way for a long time, arms still folded.
I’m being unfilial already.
I’m making a busy actress worry about me.
I gave an awkward smile and lowered my head.
That was when I noticed it: between my bowed head and the floor, I could see Ansan-daek’s hand pressed against her chest.
Huh?
Something felt off, so I lifted my head. Ansan-daek was breathing out slowly over and over.
Is her chest hurting?
I immediately crawled across the sofa and grabbed her hand. She jumped in surprise.
“Ah! You startled me!”
She seemed more shocked than I’d expected, so I hurried to apologize.
“Auntie? Miahn!”
“Oh? No, no. Gongza, you just surprised me a little.”
“Ansan-daek?”
Ansan-daek hastily made an excuse.
“No, I was just lost in thought. My, our Gongza is going to get to see a drama set!”
She forced herself to sound bright, but something about it felt suspicious.
My instincts told me so.
There’s something going on.
What’s wrong, Ansan-daek?
I tilted my head, and she quickly changed the subject.
“Aigoo, I should go hang the laundry. Gongza, see you later!”
Ansan-daek hurried away on quick little steps. Watching her back, I tilted my head again.
Mom muttered softly, “That’s strange, isn’t it, Gongza?”
“Yes!”
I slid down off the sofa and said, “That’s not like Auntie at all!”
Mom nodded. I thought back to the way she’d been pressing her chest.
It was around the solar plexus, right?
What was over there? Lungs? Stomach?
I wish I could use the internet.
I missed being able to type in “pain around the solar plexus” and getting a whole list of answers at once.
Mom scooped me up from the floor and said, “I’ll have to ask her later. Heave-ho. Our Gongza has gotten heavier!”
“I got bigger!”
“You really have. Our Gongza. You grow more every day.”
Mom hugged me tightly.
“I’m sorry I can’t stay with you.”
What’s there to be sorry about?
“It’s okay!”
“Aigoo. My angel.”
Mom patted my back and went inside. I kicked my legs and smiled brightly.
* * *
So I’d be in Emergency Room.
I couldn’t stop smiling. Inside my cradle, I bumped my feet together and grinned like an idiot.
I watched this one over and over and over.
Han Woo-jin’s character in the drama, Joo-hyeok, was the protagonist’s teacher and mentor.
Well, he wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy.
But he slowly opened his heart in response to the protagonist’s effort. And by the end, he became a true teacher.
And then Joo-hyeok gets a terminal illness.
Of course Joo-hyeok wanted to live. The protagonist of Emergency Room did everything he could to save his teacher.
But in the end, he died.
I could still see the scene clearly. Joo-hyeok, dying, sees his life flash before his eyes at the end.
A gentle OST playing over it…
The things Joo-hyeok loved pass by one by one.
The emergency room, his dead wife, and now his son, who’s about to become an orphan.
He laughs—and then the screen turns white. Then the beep sounds out.
I cried so much when I watched that scene!
And now I was going to be in it.
I clapped my hands, giggling uncontrollably. It might’ve looked like childish nonsense, but my heart kept pounding.
Wanting to appear in a great work is just an actor’s instinct.
I took a deep breath.
Right. Calm down. What I needed now was composure.
All right, Ma Gongza. Think again.
How should I play this part?
Was there even anything to think about?
I just had to play a lovable son.
That’s why they looked for me in the first place—because they wanted lovability.
But what kind of child is lovable?
Damn it. That’s a hard one.
I shot upright in the cradle.
Honestly, I don’t know.
Should I just smile? Or reach out my hands and toddle over?
Somehow that feels like something else, not lovability.
The child I’d seen in the Emergency Room scene before had only flashed by for a moment.
How long was that scene, anyway? Thinking about it now, it was pretty flat for such an emotional moment. Not much impact at all.
Looking back, the bond between Joo-hyeok and the child had felt thin.
Oh, that must’ve been because the child actor got measles.
So they couldn’t find a proper replacement in time. Even if it was only a few seconds of screen time, bad acting always shows.
But if it were me?
I want to turn it into a masterpiece.
I’d have to make the viewers cry a little—that’s what a premium supporting actor like Lee Hanjo should do.
Hmm, the director wants something lovable. That’s pretty abstract.
To be honest, I didn’t know exactly what the director wanted. But I had to know that in order to add the right details.
And I can’t exactly call and ask.
I grinned.
Well, they’ll tell me on set.
I’d done enough child acting to know this much: directors give child actors extremely specific direction.
Like, “Show me a face like you need to go to the bathroom,” or “Act like you just stubbed your toe.” They tailor it so you can really get into it.
Director Lee Jemin would probably be the same.
Let’s figure it out on set.
There was no need to worry about it pointlessly now.
I flapped my arms. I didn’t know when I’d be going to the set, but the excitement came rushing back.
Still, this is really a life of coasting along, isn’t it?
In my past life, landing a role meant not only auditions but also scrambling and buttering up all kinds of people.
But meeting Mom solved everything in one shot.
What a difference it makes to have someone backing you up.
Wow, Lee Hanjo. No, Ma Gongza.
Let’s be good to the people around us, including Mom.
I hadn’t done a very good job of that in my past life.
Well, I didn’t really have anyone to do it for.
But things were different now.
Damn it, speaking of people around me…
I thought of Ansan-daek clutching her chest.
It’s not something serious, right?
I remembered hearing that esophagitis and things like that could hurt around there too.
I’m a little worried…
If there was a problem, then so be it.
I’ll use a coin.
It’s not like she’s just anybody—Ansan-daek’s the one who feeds me and puts a roof over my head!
Of course, it’d be a paid favor.
But that hand had affection in it!
I flapped both arms inside the cradle.
I’m going to take everything I couldn’t have in my last life and make it mine for good!
I’m going to march down that road they’ve cleared for me, nice and easy!
With that resolve, I decided to start with leg exercises. First, I needed to learn to handle my body properly.
I have improved a lot.
My fingers moved more or less as I wanted now. But I still couldn’t manage something as much as eating.
It feels like there’s a limit blocking me.
It was far too early for me to be thinking about speech at this age, but still.
This is something I should think about a little.
I drew in a breath and kicked my legs again. For now, I had to keep exercising.
* * *
“Gongza, your uncle’s here!”
“A, annyeongseyo!”
Th-this.
I gave the person in front of me an awkward smile.
Mom, the person who’s taking me to the set is…
this guy?
“Gongza, you remember your uncle, right? We met at the first-birthday party!”
Of course I remember.
Isn’t that CEO Seo from Top Line?
Look, I suppose a first-birthday party counts as a family event of sorts, so fine—he made time for it once.
But why is the CEO following one of his actor’s sons to the set?
Does that company have no work? Are you guys that free?
Unfazed by my thoughts, CEO Seo flashed a grin.
“Well, Jisoo wanted someone suitable, so here I am.”
Usually you’d send a trustworthy manager, wouldn’t you?
“I haven’t had much work lately.”
Huh.
“I think I hired my staff too well. They’re all so good at their jobs that there’s nothing left for me to do. Honestly…”
CEO Seo scooped me up into his arms and said,
“Maybe because they make about the same as I do.”
What?
“I hired people who looked capable, dangling money in front of them. Gongza, let your uncle teach you a free life lesson. When you’re bringing in talent, don’t skimp on the money. Even if it means cutting your own salary!”
That does sound right, but…
He was cutting his own salary to bring in employees. In a way, that could almost be called noble.
But this is a little much!
Why is the CEO coming to my set?
That was when Ansan-daek stepped in.
“Oh my, CEO. Long time no see.”
Ah, they knew each other.
“Yes! Ma’am, you look even younger.”
“Hohoho. And you’re still the same as ever, CEO. Are you here to pick up Gongza?”
“Yup! I’ve come to escort Madam too. Here, give me the stroller. I’ll take care of him.”
Wow. This guy’s smooth-talking was no joke.
No wonder they call him the king of sales.
The CEO pushed my stroller. I watched him closely.
Come to think of it, aside from Mom, he’s the most capable and safest person around right now.
When the CEO met my eyes, he grinned.
“Gongza, are you happy to see your uncle?”
Let’s go with that.
“Ye!”
“Ha, you’re cute as ever. But what on earth are you wearing? Who dressed you like that? That’s way too distinctive. A silver-fish outfit like that—someone had to go out of their way to choose it.”
Ah, CEO, that’s—
“And yet you’re still cute. Still, this is a bit much. Gongza, should your uncle buy you some clothes?”
I sneaked a glance at Ansan-daek. Sure enough, her eyes flashed like a goblin’s.