How to Leave a Good Impression on a Parenting Show
‘Well, babies are cute to begin with, so just moving around already buys you some goodwill...’
And yet leaving a good impression was a different matter entirely.
‘Harder than I expected.’
There were quite a few problems to think about.
‘Let’s think this through, Ma Gongza.’
First, I needed to decide what sort of image I was going to project.
‘What kind of child will the public see me as?’
My brow furrowed on its own. I kept mulling it over while eating my baby food.
‘Mom already gave me a nice image by donating to the orphanage for my sake.’
Then it would be best if I matched that.
‘Good.’
I clenched my little fist.
‘My image will be an angelic baby!’
It wasn’t just because Mom always said I was like an angel. Thinking about it, this face suited a good-girl image pretty well.
‘They’ll probably have photos of me feeding the patches with puffed snacks, so there’s some consistency there too.’
I pressed my cheeks with both hands.
‘And I am kind of handsome. A bad image would be a problem here.’
It was the image I’d chosen, but really, I didn’t even have much choice in the matter.
‘The producer will probably watch the footage and the DVD from the fan screening before deciding to cast me, right?’
Then all the more reason for angel.
‘This is a little embarrassing, but I’ll do it.’
I chewed on the baby food Ansan-daek fed me and moved on to the next issue.
‘Second. Coins.’
Fwhoo.
I let out a sigh without meaning to. First, I checked how many coins I had.
Total Coins!
A caption appeared in front of me.
3,351
I lowered my head.
‘It just doesn’t go up fast.’
I’d worked hard to act cute at the first-birthday party, but this was the limit.
‘Stricter than I thought.’
Well, entertainment-information shows and fan screenings weren’t really centered on me anyway.
‘But this parenting program is different.’
I didn’t know how many minutes I’d get, but there was definitely a portion allotted to me.
‘I’ll raise it no matter what!’
I lifted my head again, and my eyes met Ansan-daek’s at once.
“Gongza, is the baby food not tasty?”
I shook my head.
“It’s tashty!”
“Then why are you sighing today?”
Ah, crap.
Was it because the muscles in my face were just different to begin with?
‘My feelings show up exactly as they are.’
I smiled brightly and picked the words a child would use.
“There’s too much!”
Ansan-daek nodded at once.
“That’s right. It is a bit hectic.”
Two days before the parenting-variety shoot.
The staff had come to the house and set up all kinds of equipment. Portable cameras and little tents for the camera operators were placed all over the house.
‘So they’re opening up the living room, the kitchen, and my room?’
Seeing the cute little tents, it really was a program for children.
‘Good. Then...’
I spoke to Ansan-daek.
“Bring me snacks tomorrow.”
“Huh? You already finished your baby food. But already?”
“Gongza isn’t gonna eat them!”
I grinned.
“For the gueshts!”
I said it in a thoroughly mangled way, but Ansan-daek understood immediately.
“You mean you want snacks ready because guests are coming? My, my.”
She smiled and shook her head.
“Our Gongza is such a good boy!”
“Heeheehee!”
“Aigoo, how adorable. Who’s coming that you’re asking for snacks?”
Come to think of it.
“Who’s coming?”
It wasn’t like I’d be filming the parenting show alone.
‘The usual format is taking care of the child in place of a busy mother.’
Mom and Ansan-daek seemed to know, of course, but they didn’t tell me.
‘Well, fair enough.’
They probably figured I wouldn’t understand even if they told me.
‘But this is important.’
If some weirdo came, it would be hard to maintain my angel image.
‘It needs to be a decent person, so the chemistry works.’
I stared at Ansan-daek with anxious eyes. She scraped the last bit of baby food clean from the bowl and said,
“I heard it’s some older brothers.”
Whoa.
‘Not one brother, brothers.’
I could already see the answer, more or less.
‘Idols.’
And a boy group, too.
How should I put it?
‘That’s basically the textbook parenting-show choice.’
Ansan-daek handed me the silicone spoon and fed me another bite. “Who was it again? Sorry, Gongza. I can’t remember well.”
That could happen. There were so many idol groups.
‘But if it’s some bad apple, that’s going to be a headache for me.’
There were definitely members in idol groups with rotten personalities.
‘If guys like that show up, it’ll be hard to build my angel image.’
Ugh.
I sighed without meaning to, and with a little shake of my shoulders I prayed the producer had booked good idols.
* * *
When I woke in the morning, everything around me was quiet. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
‘Ah.’
I knew without even looking. The unmanned camera was dangling from its pole.
‘Right, today’s filming day.’
I tilted my head and looked around. Mom was still asleep.
‘She must be tired.’
Even with filming going on, she didn’t wake up.
I carefully crawled back to one side of the bed and lay down again.
‘Sleep well, Mom. Even if it’s just a few more minutes.’
I was just about to close my eyes again when laughter drifted from somewhere.
‘It’s coming from outside the door.’
The filming crew, maybe.
- Wow, did you see that?
- Great material.
- The baby really is an angel.
- That frame is killer.
Crap.
‘I appreciate the compliments.’
But they were going to wake Mom. Keep it down.
Maybe because of that, despite my efforts, Mom blinked awake right away.
‘Ah, she’s awake.’
Mom blinked groggily, then found me and said in a husky voice,
“Gongza, did you sleep well?”
“Yes!”
Mom smiled and hugged me.
“Mom slept well too.”
So that was it. She could have slept more, but the noise must have woken her.
“Gongza. Mom’s going to be very busy today. And Auntie won’t be here either.”
She meant Ansan-daek wasn’t around.
“But the older brothers will play with our Gongza.”
“Brothers?”
“Yes. Handsome older brothers are coming. Gongza can play nicely, right?”
I flashed a bright smile and answered.
“Yes!”
“Oh, my angel. You answer so well.”
Mom stretched, then stood up. She picked me up and opened the bedroom door.
‘They’re all gathered.’
Mom exchanged nods with the producer and writer, then naturally walked forward.
I pointed at the filming crew and said,
“Brothers?”
“Ahahaha!”
Mom patted me and laughed with her head thrown back.
“No. Oh, come to think of it, Gongza hasn’t seen any older brothers before, has he?”
Ah, so that’s how it was.
‘Come to think of it, I guess I wouldn’t know what an older brother is.’
Of course, there was Noah, my savior, but that had been several months ago already.
“I’ll explain later. Gongza. Let’s have some formula.”
“Yes!”
Mom sat me in the baby chair and mixed the formula. I kicked my legs and stared at the camera dangling from the pole.
‘I should greet them.’
Please, viewers, watch closely.
I bowed my head.
“Hallo!”
Gasps of admiration came from one corner of the living room.
“He looked into the camera and greeted it.”
“Oh my gosh, so cute.”
“Ah, this is going to be good.”
Was it loud, or were my ears just good?
Mom shook the formula bottle as she said,
“Gongza, were you saying hello just now?”
“Yes!”
“Why?”
“Um, it’s shiny and it moves!”
I shifted my shoulders to the right. The camera on the pole moved slightly in response.
“How cute!”
Mom handed me the formula and laughed behind her hand.
Still smiling, she took water from the fridge and drank it. Even her ordinary morning routine looked like a commercial.
Just as I finished the formula, I heard movement from the elevator.
“Oh, looks like they’re here.”
Mom picked me up and walked to the far end of the living room. There, she’d be meeting the idol group tasked with watching me today.
‘Huh? Wait.’
Honestly, I’d been hoping only that they wouldn’t be a bunch with terrible personalities. But this group was unexpected.
‘H-Halo?’
The group that would later blow up and make it all the way to North America!
I widened my eyes. The idols bowed to Mom.
“Dimly!”
“Shining!”
“For you!”
They all bowed at once.
“Hello. We’re Halo!”
Wow. So that was an idol greeting.
‘This is my first time seeing it in person.’
Mom adjusted her hold on me and smiled.
“Hello. I’m Ma Soo-jung. Please take good care of our Gongza today.”
“Ah, so this baby is Gongza.”
Apparently they already knew my name. The tallest member walked over to me.
“Oh wow. He’s really cute.”
“Even cuter than in the photos.”
“Hi. I’m the leader, Hyeonjin.”
I raised a hand and greeted them.
“Hallo! I’m Gongza!”
“Huh!”
The five members were startled enough that they immediately rushed to Mom with questions.
“He, he talks!”
“He’s still this young!”
“How? I thought he couldn’t talk! That’s a problem!”
That was a problem, I suppose.
Mom stroked my cheek and answered,
“Our Gongza seems to be early with words.”
“Wow, maybe the kid’s smart.”
“If he talks early, does that mean he’s smart?”
“I heard that.”
The room was suddenly flooded with noise. The tallest member said,
“C-could I hold him?”
“Of course.”
Mom handed me over. The member held me very carefully.
‘He’s nice.’
I could tell just from how he handled a child.
‘I heard Halo had a good reputation.’
People had even said they were successful because of that, and the gossip had reached my little supporting-actor ears.
‘So the rumors were true.’
The boy looked so nervous it was almost painful, as if he were worried I’d be uncomfortable. I smiled brightly and said,
“Like!”
At that, the tense members all laughed together.
“He likes us, guys!”
“Gongza, I’m Heesung!”
“He’s ridiculously cute. I was worried he might start crying!”
They really were innocent and kind. So that’s why they’d made it.
‘Still, Halo is holding me.’
I giggled and kicked my legs.
‘Life really does throw strange things at you.’
Mom took my hand and gave it a little shake.
“I was worried Gongza might be shy around strangers, but he seems fine.”
“Ah, we were worried too.”
“I should get going now. Gongza, have fun with the older brothers today!”
“Mama, go?”
I turned my head, looking for Mom. She let out a small sigh and nodded.
‘No, why are you feeling guilty?’
This was your time to shine. Go work.
“Mama! Come back lafter!”
“Okay. Gongza, Mom will be back!”
Mom turned and walked away. I watched her back as she left.
Then the idol holding me asked,
“Gongza, even if you’re sad, let’s have fun with us today.”
I looked up. The camera lens inside the tent was watching.
‘I’ll handle the hosting from here.’
Make sure you film this well.
I smiled and asked,
“What are we gonna play?”
“Huh? Hey, what did we say we’d do with the baby?”
“Piggyback ride?”
“Airplane game?”
“Kick a ball?”
“He’s still so young. Can he kick a ball? Oh, there’s a ball there!”
Fast on the uptake, weren’t they.
Though come to think of it, did I even have a ball? Right, I think I’d heard Ansan-daek bought one yesterday.
The member hurried off and brought it over. Then he set me down on the carpet.
“Gongza, let’s play ball with hyung!”
“Here comes the ball!”
One of the members gently rolled it toward me.
‘Halo. Do they know this is my first time doing this kind of ball game?’
Still, could I even kick it?
I tried. But as expected, it was too much, and I fell right on my backside.
‘Ah, darn.’
Maybe I still couldn’t keep my balance properly.
Just as I was getting back up, one of the members burst out laughing.
“Puhahahahahaha! So cute!”
Hey.
‘A normal baby would cry.’
It didn’t seem like he meant any harm, though.
Sure enough, another member gave him a scolding.
“Hey, you’re hurting the baby’s feelings.”
“Oh, really?”
The member approached me with an apologetic look in his eyes.
In that instant, I realized it.
‘The time has come.’
It was time to show them the secret weapon I had honed for this very moment.