The Day the Hair Came Off
It was sincere.
I had no idea there was a way to do this.
Honestly, if it hadn’t been for Gongza, I never would have known.
I thought I was alone.
Ma Jeok darted a cautious glance at his grandmother. Fortunately, she didn’t seem angry.
With her eyes lowered, Na Hwa-jin said, “Very well. I understand. A thank-you from you—well, that is unusual.”
Ma Jeok grinned. “Gongza told me to do it.”
“That boy?”
“Yes. He says no one dislikes being thanked.”
Ma Jeok beamed. If that kid said it, even sleep could turn into a cookie.
“He must be sharp from working among adults,” Na Hwa-jin said coolly.
“Gongza’s getting into a movie this time. But it looks like it’s hard. Every time he looks at the script, he lets out a sigh deep enough to cave in the ground.”
“If it is too difficult, he needn’t do it. At that level, he could choose his scripts.”
Huh. She seemed to know a lot more about Gongza than I’d expected. Ma Jeok gave a small nod.
“That’s what I said, too. But Gongza just said, ‘What is affection, really?’”
Na Hwa-jin pushed her glasses up again. “To cling to such useless things.”
“He must be having a hard time with this role. I mean, they’re shaving his head too.”
“What?”
Na Hwa-jin’s cane slipped from her hand.
Thud—
At the heavy sound, Ma Jeok blinked. Even Na Hwa-jin’s ironclad eyes were shaking violently.
“W-what did you just say?”
“I said it looks like this role is hard.”
“No. The part after that.”
“Ah. Gongza’s getting his head shaved.”
“That glossy brown hair? Why?”
“For a role as a child with leukemia, Grandma.”
Na Hwa-jin’s arm trembled slightly. Ma Jeok had no idea what was going on, but one thing was clear.
Grandma’s shocked.
No, why?
Is it really that serious that he’s shaving his head?
Na Hwa-jin’s hand shook. “No, he must keep that appearance!”
Huh?
“Has he gone mad, shaving off his hair? It is not easy to find a child that lovely!”
“G-grandma?”
“Why did Soo-jung not stop him? She treated him like gold, did she not? Or were those only words?”
Something was spinning wildly out of control. Ma Jeok could only blink.
“My head is killing me.”
Ma Jeok hurried over and helped her up. “P-please sit down first, Grandma. Do you want something to drink? Good grief. What would Gongza do in a situation like this?”
Supported by Ma Jeok, Na Hwa-jin lay back on the long sofa. Ma Jeok rushed off to fetch something to drink.
Thump-thump-thump—
Watching her grandson dash about so briskly, Na Hwa-jin pressed a hand to her forehead. Her head hurt.
So today is the day.
I stared quietly up at the ceiling. The ceiling of the familiar living room somehow looked especially high today.
It only looks high because I’m lying down.
It wouldn’t get any lower just because I stood up, of course.
But the ceiling wasn’t the real issue. What truly mattered was the wonderfully bright thing above me.
It’s blinding me.
I drew in a breath.
Yes. The reason I’m tearing up is because...
Moisture gathered in my eyes. I muttered softly, “It’s because the lights are so bright.”
A tear slid down the corner of my eye. I tried to stop it with my hand, but I couldn’t halt the flow.
I hoped this day would never come, but in the end, it did.
Not even a second life could stop time from moving. I inhaled sharply. A wave of bitterness surged up through me.
Why did I have to take this role!
This was all because of the kindness I owed from my previous life!
I rolled over and turned my back on the ceiling. No matter how much I tried to avoid it, the time had already come.
I took a deep breath and dragged myself upright. Then I slowly put strength into my toes.
I’m fine. I’m really fine. I’m absolutely fine.
Damn it. I wasn’t fine at all.
I wiped away my tears. Once I’d come this far, it was a matter of pride.
I can’t cry.
Hair and such would grow back with time, after all!
I looked toward the mirror sitting on the table, wanting to check my face.
Fortunately, there were no tear stains. But in the mirror was me, with a head of glossy-looking brown hair.
Damn it!
I hugged the mirror.
No matter how you look at it, this is a crime against humanity!
To cut the hair off a kid who was carved like a statue?
It’s an insult to handsomeness!
Moisture misted over the acrylic mirror. I sniffled.
Then the door opened. I looked up at the person who came in slowly. It was my beloved mom.
“Gongza. Are you all right?”
“I’m not all right, Mama.”
Mom quietly picked me up. Cradled in her arms, I muttered, “But I can’t blame anybody. Gongza chose this himself.”
“My son, you’re heartbroken.”
“Yes. Gongza wished this day would never come.”
“Gongza. Hair grows back with time.”
“I know. But it still hurts so much, Mama.”
I burrowed deeper into her embrace. Mom patted my shoulder.
“Our Gongza is worrying me. What will you do if you stay sad like this?”
I let out a shaky breath. I felt like crying again, but maybe because Mom was comforting me...
I can’t make my mother worry at my age.
I lifted my head.
“Mama, Gongza will get stronger.”
“Hmm?”
“I’ll brainwash myself. I’m a bald-headed beauty! So it’s fine!”
That was when Mom broke. Even so, she carefully set me down in the hallway beside the living room and leaned against the wall.
“Mama?”
“Huff. Yes. Gongza.”
Mom was pouring tears. I was startled for a moment.
No, Mother! Why are you crying?
Were you that sad?
Then it hit me.
Mom must be even sadder than I am!
I’m sorry, Mother. I’m still a first-time son.
I should’ve shown a braver face!
I’d forgotten that when a child feels sad, the parents hurt even more.
I took a deep breath, then lifted my chin with as much composure as I could manage.
Right. Hair grows back!
Just endure it for a few months!
I took Mom’s hand.
“Mama, Gongza is okay.”
“Huff. Hmm?”
“Gongza was just a little weak for a moment. I’m not sick or anything. I’ll just be without hair for a few months!”
But even after I tried to comfort her, Mom couldn’t hold back her tears.
“Hngh, sniff. G-good point, I suppose.”
“Gongza will do his best. This is all for acting!”
“Sniff. Yes.”
Mom buried her face in both hands.
I think my words only made Mom even sadder.
You fool, you should’ve chosen your words better.
Mom’s shoulders shook. Watching her struggle to hold back such fierce sobs, I truly reflected on myself.
How long had we stayed like that?
Much later, Mom pulled away from the wall. She wiped her tears with her sleeve and took my hand again.
“All right, Gongza. Let’s go.”
Mom didn’t look at me.
Maybe even seeing my face makes her sad.
That hurt more than I could say. I drew another steadying breath. I had to hold on bravely so Mom wouldn’t be sad anymore.
Don’t cry.
For Mom, who was even sadder than I was.
I steeled myself and walked on. Even now, because she was still upset, Mom’s shoulders kept trembling.
The one Mom had prepared for me was a hairdresser.
When I stepped into the living room, she was already fully set up. The woman holding the clippers smiled brightly at me.
“Oh my, how cute. You’re the cutest client I’ve ever had.”
Oh?
In the center of the vinyl-covered living room stood a small chair. I quietly sat down. As the hairdresser draped the cutting cape around my neck, she said, “Gongza, this’ll be over in no time.”
“Yes. Please take good care of me.”
I stared straight ahead in silence, then let out a long sigh.
Honestly, I really wanted to ask.
What are Ansan-daek, the aunties, and even the mansion staff doing here...?
Why are you all watching?
Ansan-daek waved at me. To be honest, I had no idea what kind of atmosphere this was.
Mr. Deok-su said, “As I mentioned earlier, Gongza is stressed.”
Wow, as expected of the teacher.
He understood how I felt.
Everyone nodded as if they’d all agreed in advance.
“Ah, right. Hang in there, Gongza!”
“You’ll still be cute even without hair!”
In an instant, the spectators disappeared. I still couldn’t make sense of it.
“Sir, why did everyone come?”
“They must have wanted to see what you’d look like after your hair was cut.”
My brow furrowed before I could stop it.
“Why would they want that?”
Ansan-daek answered.
“Because it’s impossible to imagine. Gongza without hair, I mean.”
Well, maybe it was curiosity.
To be fair, it is unknown territory.
Honestly, I was curious too. Would I still be handsome without hair?
Could I still pull it off without my hair doing half the work?
Whatever I thought, the time for my hair to disappear had arrived. The hairdresser said briskly, “All right, let’s begin!”
Click.
The sound of the scissors in my ear rang louder than usual today.
Did they put the mirror away on purpose?
Maybe it was unnecessary, since they were going to shave everything off anyway. I looked straight ahead in silence. My head grew lighter and lighter.
“All right, I’m starting. Don’t move.”
“Yessir.”
The motor of the clippers buzzed. I looked at the hair falling to the floor and said my farewell.
Though we part now, we’ll meet again someday.
Don’t be sad, Ma Gongza. If you cry, Mom will break down completely.
Come to think of it, I couldn’t see Mom anymore.
Ah, Mother.
She mustn’t have been able to bear watching.
She was hurting even more than I was. Love really did make people strong. I accepted the smooth, gleaming future with composure.
“There. All done.”
The hairdresser wiped my head with a towel. Honestly, it felt incredibly strange.
So this is what it feels like to wipe your head like skin!
Come to think of it, I wouldn’t even need to wash my hair for a while. I could just wash my face all the way up to my scalp!
How convenient.
Of course, having hair would still be better than this convenience.
I was sighing and trying to accept reality when a groan sounded in my ear.
“Oh, my...”
Ansan-daek suddenly clasped both hands together. I blinked.
“Little novice.”
Huh?
“Goodness gracious. Gongza, you’re so pure.”
What does that even mean?
I tilted my head and looked at the teacher. Mr. Deok-su stared at me with total intensity.
“I didn’t know a shaved head could look this pretty. Your head shape is so clean and delicate.”
What? A clean and delicate head shape? Hey, Ansan-daek, I don’t understand this at all!
I was completely lost, but the hairdresser jumped in at once.
“Exactly. I’ve shaved plenty of heads, but I’ve never seen a child this pretty.”
“Doesn’t he look like some immortal who’s cut himself off from the world?”
“If the Taoist sect had a baby bodhisattva, I think he’d look like this.”
“He looks like a dew drop in clear water.”
No, seriously, what is that supposed to mean?
Then Mr. Deok-su said, “He looks like a Buddhist painting. Though I haven’t actually seen many Buddhist paintings.”
“He looks sublime.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up from my seat and walked to the wall to look in the mirror. And the moment I saw myself, I nearly gasped.
So this is what handsomeness is.
A face genius really was something else. I swallowed a groan as I stared at the mirror.
I’m honestly so pure-looking.
Even without the thing that should have been there, this face was still top-tier. It looked unbelievably clean.
My face, and yet it looks holy!
Though, being bald did make me look like a monk.
Handsomeness transcends religion.
Thank you, dear subtitles. This second life really is worth living.