A Power of Unsettling Affection
Was it really that hard?
'Even a kindergarten kid could copy that right away.'
Back then, Ma Gongza had dropped to his knees.
'W-well, yeah.'
There was something oddly satisfying about watching someone who was good at everything suffer. I laughed so hard it hurt, and he let out a long sigh.
'I just need to practice.'
'Go on, then. Do your best.'
'R-right.'
'Never mind the acting for now. At least learn how to dribble. You can't even get past a defender, let alone beat one.'
'Ugh!'
Teasing Ma Gongza was, in its own way, a real pleasure. Ma Jeok grinned at the memory and flipped the newspaper page.
That was when a sudden, unfamiliar voice rang out.
“What are you doing in the study?”
Startled, Ma Jeok looked up. Standing at the doorway was someone who lived in the same house but rarely ever appeared before him.
“G-g-grandma!”
“Don’t yell. I’m not deaf.”
Ma Jeok hurried to explain. “I was looking for something. And then I saw this guy in the paper…”
“Ma Gongza?”
“Yes.”
Grandmother came in leaning on her cane and sat down.
“Did you read the article?”
“Half of it.”
“It’s a follow-up piece.”
Follow-up piece? Reading Ma Jeok’s face, she explained.
“If an article has a big impact, they’ll sometimes run another one to fill in the details afterward.”
Ah.
“Looks like people really are paying a lot of attention to Gongza.”
“I don’t know why they’re so interested in that half-breed, but yes, I suppose they are.”
Ma Jeok tilted his head.
“It makes sense that people are interested.”
“What?”
“He’s in movies and commercials. His dramas are popular too. When I go to school, I get asked constantly to get his autograph.”
Grandmother’s brow twitched.
“Honestly, he’s cute.”
“A half-breed is always cute when he’s young.”
“He’s grown a lot lately, but he’s still cute.”
Ma Jeok spoke plainly.
“Seriously, everybody likes him. But that guy is kind of funny.”
Thwack.
Grandmother struck the table. Her expression turned grave.
Ma Jeok shut his mouth at once. Then Grandmother pressed him for an answer.
“Say it.”
“Pardon?”
“What exactly is so funny?”
Did he really have to say it? Ma Jeok opened his mouth carefully.
“...He doesn’t have an autograph.”
“What?”
“He’s so popular, but apparently he never even made one. I made him an autograph that day, in his room.”
He’d looked up celebrity autographs on his phone and made something that seemed convincing enough. Honestly, at first it had looked like a worm crawling across the page.
'Come to think of it, that Ma Gongza doesn’t seem to have a knack for his hands either.'
Could it be that the guy…?
'Isn’t he only good at acting?'
Aside from having a bit of stamina?
But from what he’d heard, people said the boy was perfect in every way.
Ma Jeok recalled that worm-like autograph. After practice it had become decent enough, but he definitely wasn’t someone who was good at everything.
He answered honestly.
“He’s kind of awkward.”
“Really?”
“Honestly, that’s pretty cute.”
The words slipped out before he could stop them. He belatedly remembered that Grandmother didn’t like the boy.
'Huh?'
But her expression didn’t look bad. In fact, the corners of her mouth had curved up faintly.
'Sh-she’s smiling? Grandmother is smiling?'
Was she even someone who could smile?
'Well, I mean, she smiles a lot in front of Hyung, but...'
He’d never seen that mouth of hers lift like this in front of him.
“That brat is a little cute, I suppose.”
Ma Jeok rushed to praise him. “He’s like my older brother. He nags me to eat, to wash up, and on and on.”
“He is a bit warmhearted.”
“He also makes sure I eat all kinds of food. Says kids who exercise need to eat this and that, and then he shows up with some kind of meal plan...”
The housekeeper cooked too, but that fierce nanny often handled the meals herself.
'Honestly, it’s delicious. We always eat together.'
If his aunt was there, he ate with her; if not, the fierce nanny would sit with him. If nobody else was around, the housekeeper would take the seat across from him.
The Annex was always warm.
Maybe that was why.
'Eating there is more fun than eating at the Main House.'
Whenever he ate with his mother, he could practically count on getting slapped before the meal was over.
Ma Jeok lowered his head a little. He already wanted to cross back over to the Annex.
“So you do eat well there, I see.”
“Grandma, I like the Annex.”
“Don’t spend too much time with that half-breed.”
Ma Jeok shook his head. “He’s a nice kid.”
Grandmother said nothing. Ma Jeok thought she was surely about to snap at him.
But the response he heard was far more unexpected.
“That boy is kind enough, yes.”
Huh.
When Ma Jeok looked up, Grandmother went on.
“Leave the newspaper here. I haven’t finished it yet.”
“Huh? Oh, right.”
“I’ll tell your second aunt.”
Ma Jeok blinked.
'Second aunt? Mom?'
What was she going to say?
When Ma Jeok still didn’t move, Grandmother spoke again.
“I’ll go tell her you’re eating well there, so get out now.”
Ma Jeok hurriedly got to his feet. He could hardly believe what he’d just heard.
'She really said I can eat at the Annex?'
It was the first time.
'The first time she’s listened to me.'
In fact, it was probably the first time they’d ever spoken just the two of them.
So Ma Jeok, hand on the study door, said, “Th-thank you.”
Grandmother didn’t move at all. He opened the door and stepped out, but before long he was sitting down in the hallway.
'Wow. I can't believe it.'
Why was Grandmother being so soft?
'That’s not the kind of person she is.'
Wasn’t she supposed to be more like a goblin, or a beast, or Lucifer?
'Why, why is this happening?'
No matter how hard he thought, he couldn’t figure it out. And yet, one thing did strike him.
'C-could it be that she likes Gongza?'
That doll-like face floated into his mind.
'No doubt about it.'
Grandma likes Ma Gongza.
'Wow, damn.'
Ma Jeok muttered under his breath before he realized it.
“What a terrifying guy.”
He’d thought the boy was only good for his looks and acting. Apparently there was one more thing to add to the list.
'His social power is insane.'
Ma Jeok shook his head. It really was an incredible superpower.
* * *
'Why did I ever say I’d do a monodrama?'
I quietly dropped to my knees. Then I raised my own arms.
Duk-su asked, “Why are you doing that, Gongza?”
“I’m punishin’ myself.”
I’d dug my own grave.
'Honestly, I didn’t think this through.'
Scripts for monodramas were rare. They weren’t nonexistent, exactly, but there weren’t many of them, so naturally there weren’t many options either.
'There are even fewer children's plays.'
To be fair, children’s plays were usually all about adventure, friendship, and a moral lesson.
'But monodramas usually have more depth to them.'
Right. What playwright would assign all those roles to a single kid?
'I really never saw this coming.'
Duk-su looked down at me with my arms held up. I let out a sigh.
“Gongza brought this disaster on himself.”
“Gongza has been working hard. He even went to the library to make photocopies, didn’t he?”
“Y-yes. I barely managed to get the script.”
I glanced at the stack of papers.
'It’s only about ten minutes long, so it’s very short...'
But I felt like my soul was about to leave my body.
I let out another sigh. Duk-su took hold of my arm and gently lowered it.
“You don’t need to blame yourself like this. Gongza is doing well.”
I shook my head.
“The script isn’t the problem. This is...”
I raised my arm again.
“This requires acting ability.”
Too much.
'This is seriously unbelievably hard acting.'
The problem wasn’t standing alone on stage.
“Is that so?”
“It’s no joke. This play doesn’t even have props. But Gongza has to make it feel real.”
The script called for acting—just the simple act of brewing tea and pouring it.
“I’m going to learn tea ceremony right away.”
The script was set in Europe, so it used black tea, but I was still little, so green tea would probably be better.
“Ma Soo-jung will probably know about it.”
“Mom only knows the basics. She said she’d call a teacher for me. But honestly, I’m not even sure if I need to do tea ceremony.”
Would tea ceremony really help this play?
'Then again, tea ceremony itself is a deep art.'
What I’d learn now would only be a rough imitation, of course.
I let out a long sigh.
'Rather than worry, it’s better to do something, anything, when it comes to this.'
I unfolded the script. Since it was a short one-act play, I learned it quickly.
'The problem is that I have to fix it...'
Well, that’s normally the playwright’s territory, but since I was doing this alone, did it really matter?
'The real problem is my hands.'
I clenched and unclenched them. Maybe because they were still so small, my writing wasn’t exactly proficient.
'My handwriting is a complete disaster.'
I was quick at reading, but writing was another matter entirely.
With a sigh, I grabbed Duk-su.
“Teacher, write this for me, please.”
“What would you like me to write?”
“I think I need to revise the script.”
I wouldn’t have minded if it had stayed Western-style as it was, but if I was going to learn tea ceremony, I needed to adapt it properly.
“I-is that so.”
“Once I learn tea ceremony, I might need to revise it again. So I want to polish it a little in advance.”
I gave a small, bright smile.
“This is the fun part of theater, I think. You can actually fix things.”
“Is it harder for drama or film?”
“Hmm. It’s hard for an actor to rewrite the script.”
Everyone had their own lane.
“Honestly, it’s the same for theater too, but this is just Gongza doing it alone.”
It was just a modest monodrama performed on a small stage. There was no director, no playwright, so I had the freedom to do what I could.
Duk-su said quietly, “Gongza keeps telling himself it’s hard.”
“Yes?”
“But you seem to be enjoying yourself.”
Oh.
'Caught red-handed.'
I broke into a broad smile.
“I really wanted to do theater!”
Well, I’d done plenty of it in my past life, but still.
'It’s my first time doing it in this body, isn’t it?'
And besides, the audience would be fellow actors and reporters.
'I have to do well.'
To be honest, in another sense, mistakes simply weren’t allowed.
'Well, since I’m little, maybe they’ll forgive me.'
But as an actor, Ma Gongza was already a professional, wasn’t he?
This was a seat his mother had painstakingly created for him. If I was going to run a foundation one day, then from the very first knot, I had to tie it properly.
'Then let’s fight with everything we’ve got!'
It wasn’t enough to do well. I had to make it succeed.
Just as I opened the script and showed it to Duk-su, the door suddenly opened.
Turning slightly, I was a little surprised.
'Oh, Grandma.'
Grandmother came into my room leaning on her cane. I smiled brightly and trotted over to her.
“Hello!”
Grandmother looked at me with emotionless eyes, then lowered her head. She waved one hand sharply.
'She wants Duk-su to leave.'
Looking fierce but quick on the uptake, Duk-su immediately stepped out into the hallway.
Thud.
The moment the door shut, Grandmother bent her head.
Then she took a long breath in through the crown of my head.
Haah, haah—
It was still an alarmingly dangerous sound.
“You...”
Grandmother gave me a sidelong look.
“You’ve grown.”
I beamed. “Yes! I’ve gotten a lot taller.”
I stood next to her.
“I’m already this much taller! Gongza wants to keep growing and get strong too!”
I want to do action roles quickly.
'Of course I’ll need to work hard for it, but...'
My body moved far less easily than I’d expected.
'My body’s healthy, so why is it so hard to control? How ironic.'
If it came down to it, would I have to use coins?
Just as I was thinking over all this, Grandmother took one more long sniff from the top of my head. Then she said, bluntly, “What do you want to get strong for?”
“Um...”
I grinned sheepishly.
“I want to carry you on my back!”
“You, carry me?”
“Yes!”
Hmm, was that too obvious a bit of flattery?
Just as I was thinking that over, Grandmother’s cheek twitched ever so slightly.