Five Poisons 3
"W-what?! Why is the Great Method...! H-how did this happen?!"
"So-ryong! What is the meaning of this?! Why has the Great Method begun?!"
"Grandfather... krgh..."
The cauldron began to seethe and gurgle like a pot on a rolling boil. Grandfather and Father-in-law, who had been preparing the remaining ingredients for the Great Method, rushed over with stricken faces and shouted. The medicine inside the jar erupted in a savage roar.
—Kwaaarrr!
Agony crashed over me so hard I could not even open my mouth. Fortunately Hwa-eun was quick to explain the situation to the two of them.
"O-Ogong accidentally dropped a single drop of venom! I-I think the Great Method has started!"
I had been told beforehand that once the Great Method began I must never move, so I clung to superhuman endurance—but every fiber of me wanted to leap out of that jar right then and there.
Th-this much pain is insane!
It felt exactly as though I had been dropped into a vat of boiling oil. My entire body burned so fiercely I half-believed my skin was peeling off.
Yo-hwa’s venom was a paralytic; she had said it would not hurt. Cho’s venom, however, could melt a man, and it was no joke. I could not even get angry at Cho—he had only dribbled a single drop of spit, after all. And I was in no condition to be angry in the first place.
My jaw rattled. Fingers, toes, every extremity felt as if it were dissolving and vanishing. A deep scream tore loose from the depths of my heart.
I haven’t even had my first night yet! Everything’s going to melt away—gyaaaaaah!
"What did you say?!"
"What?!"
Shocked voices from the two elders followed hard on Hwa-eun’s explanation, then urgent words.
"So-ryong, keep your wits about you and listen carefully. Circulate your energy according to the formula of the Five Poisons Returning to Origin Art you learned before. The Five Poisons Returning to Origin Divine Art is not so different from it. Still your heart and move your energy slowly. I will help your circulation myself through your Baihui point."
Grandfather laid his hand on my head; his energy flooded into my skull. Through the pain I dredged up old memories and, teeth clenched, somehow began the Great Heavenly Circuit.
Kuheuhh...
Energy rose from my dantian, traveled the meridians, and completed one full circuit of my body. The agony lessened, if only a fraction. That tiny relief told me this was my only way out, so I threw myself into the Great Heavenly Circuit like a madman.
—Buggeureureureuk.
The only sound in my ears was the boiling medicine. With every circuit Grandfather, the Lord of Myriad Poisons, subtly adjusted the path; after about five revolutions the course settled and fixed. Only then did the poison that had been tormenting me begin to feel somehow familiar. It seeped through my skin, traveled with my inner energy through every part of my body, and started to work a change upon my dantian.
Not a change to the dantian itself. Until now the energy stored there had felt like pure distilled water; what I felt now was closer to soda—cool, refreshing, and sharply sparkling.
As the medicine and the energy in my dantian found equilibrium, the pain in my body subsided and my mind returned. I clawed my way back from the terror of melting away completely.
They said that once the Great Method finished I would overflow with energy, yet I felt drained to the last drop.
Damn... I almost died.
When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was Hwa-eun, hopping from foot to foot right beside me, unable even to touch me. Her eyes flew wide the moment they met mine.
Beside her, the one who looked like Cho was surrounded by Seol, Bing, Yo-hwa, Hyang, and Bin, receiving a merciless scolding and withering glares. He was clearly being punished for the disaster he had caused. The other children had him ringed in and were berating him in some language only they understood.
—Kishit! Kishishi!
—Kkukkkuu! Kkuu!
—Tseureureureu!
Cho hung his head pitifully under the ring of reproach. Then Hwa-eun’s startled voice reached me as our eyes met.
"So-ryong, can you hear me? Can you see me? Grandfather said the crisis is past, so once your mind is clear you’re allowed to speak."
"Is... is Cho all right?"
I asked because his antenna had been soaked in the medicine earlier. Time seemed to freeze.
What? Does the Great Method do that too?
Hwa-eun had gone completely still; for a second I thought time had stopped. It had not. She simply let out a long, heavy sigh, then answered with an expression of pure disbelief.
"Yes. I washed his antenna right away—while I was fretting myself sick that you might die. Honestly..."
Arms folded, her face was ice-cold. The first thought that hit me was: I’m screwed.
It just came out by reflex...
Even in my previous life I had always checked on the creatures I raised first. That habit had slipped out without thinking. I was now formally betrothed after the engagement ceremony; Hwa-eun should have been the first person I asked after. A catastrophic mistake.
So I immediately groaned.
"Keuhk..."
"S-So-ryong! Where does it hurt?!"
She jumped in alarm at my moan. I answered with the look of a man just coming to his senses.
"Krrgh... Hwa-eun, I seem to have caused you great worry. By the way, is Cho all right?"
Her eyes went round, then filled with pity.
"Ah, it seems he still isn’t fully lucid! Grandfather! Grandfather! So-ryong opened his eyes, but I don’t think his mind is clear yet. Please take a look!"
"What?! His mind’s gone wrong?!"
I had slipped past this time. From now on I would have to be careful.
That was a lightning-fast move.
Only after two full days did the Great Method finally end. Every last drop of the medicine that had filled the jar had dried up and vanished. When I asked Grandfather, he explained that it had reacted with Cho’s venom, prepared my body to accept the toxicity of that single drop, and then either evaporated or been completely absorbed into me.
I climbed out of the jar, washed, and pulled on the clothes that had been left for me. Grandfather’s voice reached me.
"The venom changed suddenly, so we had to scramble for the additional ingredients, but the Great Method finished well enough. Is there anything wrong with your body?"
"No, sir. Nothing out of the ordinary that I can tell."
Remembering the initial agony made me nervous, yet I truly felt fine. When I said so, Grandfather’s worried tone returned.
"Hwa-eun said your memory seemed strange when you first came around. Is anything wrong with your recollections? I worry the poisonous qi may have seeped into your head."
"I-I’m fine, Grandfather."
"Are you truly all right? I think we ought to examine you more carefully."
"I-I’m really fine, Grandfather."
Trying to dodge the crisis only seemed to invite a bigger one. I finally managed to allay his concern and was about to leave when Grandfather held out five books.
Only the day before yesterday I had been dancing on the edge of death with my family jewels, and already he was shoving study materials at me without so much as a rest. They looked like preparation for the Ten Poisons Realm examination. I took them with a long face.
Well, at least he’s giving me the answer key...
"Why the long face?"
He knew perfectly well why and was just being mischievous. In my previous life, if I had been any good at studying I would not have become a shut-in YouTuber raising venomous creatures at home.
"L-long face? Not at all. On the contrary, I’m delighted the Great Method finished so well. Ha... haha."
I shook my head. Grandfather opened the books one by one and began to explain.
"Is it just my imagination? At any rate, look here."
"Yes, Grandfather..."
"Whether you wanted it or not, you have already entered the Five Poisons Returning to Origin Divine Art. You will need martial arts that match it, will you not? These are the techniques that have been handed down together with the Divine Art, and I intend to pass them on to you."
Huh? It wasn’t an exam? And these are set techniques that come with the Five Poisons Returning to Origin Art?
At the words “handed down together as a set,” my interest finally sparked. If they formed a complete set, collecting them all would make them far stronger than techniques of the same rank. That was how it always worked in the games I used to play.
"Here. What I have just given you are five martial arts:
Ogongdokajo—Centipede Poison Fang Claw,
Poison Serpent Life-Devouring Hand,
Scorpion Tail Swift Kick,
Lizard Gecko Body Step, and
Seomseobokryeoljang—Toad Explosive Palm.
Five in all. They consist of claw techniques, hand techniques, leg techniques, footwork and body arts, and palm techniques respectively."
I had expected something thick with poison and slaughter, yet the names themselves pleased me. They were named after the very venomous creatures I loved.
These are completely custom-made Fabre martial arts!
Just hearing the names made my heart race; they felt like techniques made for me alone. Centipede fangs manifested through a man’s fingernails, a serpent’s coiling motion in the hands, a scorpion’s tail in the kicks, a lizard’s movements in the footwork and body arts, and finally a toad’s palm technique. I was a little puzzled about the connection between a toad and palm arts, but I liked them all the same.
I become the venomous creature and the venomous creature becomes me. This must be the “oneness of self and object” Grandfather spoke of!
Seeing my eyes light up, Grandfather smiled.
"You seem quite taken with them."
"Of course, Grandfather! It was a surprise, though."
"A surprise? What do you mean by that?"
He tilted his head. I smiled as I answered.
"I naturally assumed they would be poison arts or assassination techniques. I never expected martial arts named after the venomous creatures I love—so I found it wonderful."
"That is because these were never originally arts of our Tang Clan."
"Pardon?"
For a second I wondered whether he was discriminating against me as a live-in son-in-law by giving me techniques that did not belong to the clan. Then the explanation continued.
"In truth, both the Five Poisons Returning to Origin Divine Art and these Five Poisons Martial Arts belonged to a sect that has already been destroyed—the Five Poisons Sect."
"The Five Poisons Sect?"
"Yes. It was founded two hundred years ago by a young master of our Sichuan Tang Clan and a young mistress of the Southern Savage Beast Palace."
According to Grandfather, the Five Poisons Sect had been both a family and a martial school created when the second son of the Tang Clan—hailed as a genius in his day—and the daughter of the Palace Lord of the Southern Savage Beast Palace eloped. They married and built a school that combined the strengths of both families’ martial arts: Tang poison techniques and the Beast Palace’s beast-style boxing.
Yet they had taken out and mixed secret arts that were never meant to leave their respective gates. Neither family could overlook that. The two lovers were hunted through the jungles of Yunnan and, a little over a hundred years ago, the sect was finally wiped out.
Another family of lunatics. Who keeps a pursuit going for a hundred years?!
A wuxia Romeo and Juliet story, and of course it ended in tragedy. I swallowed hard at the blood-soaked tale.
"After the Five Poisons Sect fell, both sides agreed to reclaim their respective arts. What they recovered then were precisely this Five Poisons Returning to Origin Divine Art and the Five Poisons Martial Arts. They contain Tang insights, but also a fair measure of Southern Savage Beast Palace insights, so ownership was hotly disputed. In the end they came to our Tang Clan because the arts require the acceptance of poison.
The last master of the Five Poisons Sect, even without fully mastering the Five Poisons Martial Arts, was said to have held his own against the simultaneous assault of both the Palace Lord of the Southern Savage Beast Palace and the Clan Head of the Tang Clan. That is how formidable these techniques are. And since you love venomous creatures, we thought they would suit you perfectly. In our Tang Clan no one has ever obtained a spirit-grade venomous beast, so everyone has stopped at the introductory stage—but you are different."
Hah... so that was the deep reason.
A Romeo-and-Juliet backstory for the martial arts themselves, plus names stuffed with the venomous creatures I adored—I was thoroughly pleased. I bowed in gratitude.
"Thank you, Grandfather. I will train diligently!"
"Good. Heh heh. Look at how happy the boy is."
The Five Poisons Returning to Origin Divine Art and the Five Poisons Martial Arts. They truly were techniques after my own heart.
After finishing my talk with Grandfather I walked out of the Great Method Hall. Sunlight I had not seen in three days greeted me. Three full days of the Great Method. I was neither kimchi nor salted fish, yet I had sat inside a jar for three solid days before finally seeing the light again. At the height of the pain I had thought I would never see the sun again; now its warmth felt almost overwhelming.
"Aigoo... now I finally feel like I’m really alive."
Stepping out of the Hall of Myriad Poisons into the gentle sunlight left my body limp. I was in the middle of a long stretch when something scuttled rapidly toward me.
I flinched and looked down. It was Cho, racing toward me from the entrance of the Hall of Myriad Poisons as if he had been waiting there alone the whole time.
"Cho!"
I dropped into a crouch and scooped him up. He nuzzled his face against my cheek.
—Tseureureu!
"You were worried, weren’t you? Daddy’s fine, so don’t worry."
He must have fretted terribly; he had clearly been waiting at the entrance for me. After our brief reunion he settled onto my arm the way he always did. He had grown longer after his second molt, now wrapping from wrist all the way to shoulder—and he was remarkably prickly.
I wish he’d coil over my clothes... kind of stings.
The moment the thought formed—
—Tseureureu!
Cho answered as if he had understood perfectly, climbed up onto my sleeve, and wrapped himself around my arm again.
Huh?! What is this?
Something strange had formed between Cho and me.