Snow and Ice 2
The moment I asked him to lure the creature out, Clan Head Peng rolled up his sleeves without a second thought.
I pulled the impatient man over to the campfire first. Whatever we did, we needed a plan, didn’t we?
“All right, let’s figure out how we’re going to lure it first.”
“I’ve already thought about it. Do we even need to lure it? One good hit and it’s out cold. Then we catch the lively one and the other one while we’re at it, right?”
The Peng Clan really did solve everything with brute force. Plans? Forget plans. Just knock it out with one punch, according to Clan Head Peng.
I gave him an awkward smile and pushed back. The man was absurdly strong, and if he swung that massive great saber of his at cute little Seokcheok, it would be a one-way ticket to roadkill city with a wet splat.
Just thinking about it is horrifying.
“If Clan Head Peng hits it even once, even a Seokcheok that just drove the troops back a step would drop dead on the spot, wouldn’t it? And in a pretty gruesome way?”
Clan Head Peng’s face lit up with delight.
“Kahaha! See, you get it! Those soldiers have only ever sat at desks, so of course a little Seokcheok pushed them around. You’re right—one hit from me and it’s done for. Ah, being strong is a lonely business sometimes.”
“R-right. Cough. Cough.”
Still grinning, he pounded my back hard enough to rattle my bones. I had no idea which part of that conversation had made him so happy, and I was still floundering when Big Sister’s voice transmission slipped into my ear.
[The Peng Clan and the Zhuge Clan have never gotten along. The Zhuge think of the Peng as… ahem… a bunch of muscle-heads who solve everything with force. And the Peng think of the Zhuge as bookish scholars who only ever spin their brains… Anyway, that’s the general idea.]
So there’s history there. Long-robed scholars versus the gym-bro Peng Clan, huh?
I hadn’t noticed any of that tension earlier when we met the soldiers—probably because of Young Lady Hwa-eun—but now the undercurrent made sense.
I dragged the newly cheerful Clan Head Peng back to the fire and laid out the plan.
“How about this: Clan Head Peng draws the creature out, and Young Lady Hwa-eun and our Poisonous Creature Squad cut off its escape routes. Meanwhile I’ll check on the other one.”
“You going to be all right? What if that one’s not actually sick like you say? You told me your martial arts aren’t that high.”
He had a point. Seeing his concern, Big Sister stepped in to back me up.
“Then I’ll stay right beside So-ryong. Clan Head Peng lures the creature, and our Poisonous Creature Squad blocks the path. How does that sound?”
“That does seem better. Anything else we need to watch for?”
“Ah! Just keep it from coming toward me. One crucial thing—don’t let it near the walls. It can climb them, so it could come over the rock face straight at me.”
“Understood. I’ll approach and draw it out. The rest of you seal the path so it can’t reach him.”
With the plan set, we moved fast. If the little one really was in pain, we might not have much time.
We reformed our ranks and returned to the roof-shaped boulder. Sure enough, the warning cries started up again.
—Kyaaaaah!
We held the same ten-meter distance we had kept when we first met it. As the creature came into view, tail raised and thrashing left and right in front of the rock, I called out to Clan Head Peng.
“Clan Head Peng! Whenever you’re ready!”
“Got it! Everyone move just like we planned!”
The moment Clan Head Peng took one more step inside that ten-meter line—
—Kyaaah!
The little thing bristled and hopped forward a full body-length in a comically tiny show of aggression.
“Kahaha! Come on, then!”
—Clang!
He smacked the flat of his great saber and took another step. The creature launched like a spring, shooting straight at him. All those warnings, and it had finally had enough.
—Thud!
“Ohhh! Heavy! That’s about the strength of a first-rate warrior from our Peng Clan! This is getting fun!”
A solid impact rang off the blade. Cold air swirled around Clan Head Peng’s saber as he whooped with excitement.
Bing, who had charged in so fiercely, suddenly looked flustered after that first clash. It had probably expected a pure muscle-head, but Clan Head Peng had twisted its trajectory just enough to swap their positions. Now his massive frame stood squarely between the creature and the boulder.
While Bing froze, unsure whether to advance or retreat, Clan Head Peng thrust his saber forward and charged.
—Kyaaah!
The creature screeched and scrambled backward to avoid him.
“Now!”
At his signal the warriors fanned out and surrounded it. The path between Bing and the rock was completely sealed by Clan Head Peng’s bulk.
This was our moment. The underbrush blocked most of the view, so I shouted toward Big Sister and sprinted for the boulder.
“Let’s go! Young Lady Hwa-eun!”
“Yes! So-ryong!”
—Kyaaaah!
—Clang!
The crash of the creature slamming into the saber and its furious roars echoed through the hollow from every direction.
We reached the boulder. At last I saw the second lizard lying still in the shade.
Even when Big Sister and I drew close, it didn’t move a muscle.
“Is it really sick?”
I knelt carefully in front of it and nodded at her question.
The little one was suffering from incomplete molting. Its eyes were sealed shut, and the tip of its tail was rotting. When it sensed our approach it turned its head vaguely, but the white membrane and pus covering its eyes left it completely blind. Unshed skin clung to its toes and tail tip, and half the tail had already gone necrotic. The duller coloration I’d noticed earlier made sense now—another molt was starting on top of the failed one.
—Clang!
“Guh!”
“Watch yourselves! The little one’s vicious!”
Noisy crashes and shouts rose behind us. Big Sister glanced back and asked,
“So-ryong, what do we do now?”
There was only one real option left.
“It needs emergency treatment.”
“Treatment?!”
“Yes.”
“But we don’t have any medicine or tools out here.”
She looked around as if wondering how on earth we were supposed to treat anything. I smiled.
“It’s fine. We just peel it.”
“Peel a Seokcheok?”
“Yes. Completely.”
I’ve been saying “peel” a lot lately, I thought, and reached toward the motionless lizard. Its skin felt cool under my warm hand. It flinched, but it was too weak to thrash.
“Stay still and I’ll make you better. Just hold on.”
Creatures like this usually understood words well enough. At my soft voice it stopped moving. I gave its head a gentle stroke, then took hold of the skin and pulled steadily.
A translucent sheath stretched out like rubber.
“Huh?!”
Big Sister’s eyes went round as saucers. Clearly she had never seen a lizard shed before. Unlike snakes, lizards often eat their own shed skin, so finding a full cast in the wild is rare.
“They shed just like snakes do.”
“Oh! I had no idea!”
I explained while I kept pulling, but the skin refused to tear. Normally it would split easily; this one’s hide was ridiculously tough. Most lizards tear while you’re peeling them, making the job harder—this one was so tough the opposite problem appeared.
But who am I? The foremost expert on every venomous beast and insect, the father of reptiles himself—the one and only Spicy Fabre?
I quickly drew a ring-handled throwing dagger from my robes and pressed the edge against the skin. Even then it took real force before the scale finally split. Once it gave, the back skin peeled away cleanly, revealing a glittering blue hide underneath.
“It looks just like a jewel, So-ryong.”
She was right—it was like staring into a blue galaxy. Carefully I worked the skin toward the hind legs. It rolled and inverted exactly like peeling off a sock. The claws snagged at the end because of the piled-up old skin, but a firm tug produced a soft pop, and suddenly I was holding a perfect rubber glove.
“That’s amazing. It looks just like a glove.”
In my previous life, whenever one of my lizards had a bad molt I would peel it by hand. That rubber-glove reveal always made great streaming content—viewers loved how satisfying the peel looked and how cute the finished “glove” was. Apparently it worked on our sole female audience member here too. If this were my old life she would already be dropping superchats.
“So-ryong, can I try?”
“Of course. Hold it here and pull slowly. If you yank too hard you can hurt the foot.”
Behind us something was still shattering and exploding, but who cared? After the bumblebee date, now we were peeling a lizard together. This was peak Fabre-style romance; my heart was pounding.
My old streamer friend used to say his dream date was running a raid with his girlfriend. If I die today, I die without regrets.
Left hind foot, right hind foot, both front feet. Working together we produced four rubber gloves; only the tail and head remained.
“I’ll handle the head myself. One wrong move with the eyes and it can go blind.”
Big Sister looked disappointed, but it couldn’t be helped. Eyes came first.
I gently rubbed the edge of its mouth until the skin lifted, giving the little lizard the look of someone wearing a rain hood. Big Sister couldn’t hold back any longer.
“So-ryong, can I raise these ones? You already have the Wukongs.”
Crash.
What I had thought was the perfect date had just crossed a line. This was exactly like bringing your girlfriend home, letting her try your game, and having her immediately demand your main PC.
I laughed awkwardly.
“Th-there are two of them, so how about we raise one each?”
“One each?”
She considered it for a second, then nodded quickly.
“Y-yes. That would make it even more meaningful.”
Crisis averted. Girlfriend demanded the main rig, I somehow held the line with a spare.
I calmed my racing heart and peeled the head skin free. Only the eye membranes remained. When removing a lizard’s stuck shed you have to be extremely careful—the eye itself has a covering, and if any scrap stays behind it can cause infection. I cradled the little one against my chest so it couldn’t thrash and injure itself. Normally I would use tweezers, but remembering how tough this skin was, I used the tip of my dagger instead, gently lifting the raised membrane at the corner of each eye.
A sticky bit of pus came away with the translucent film. Once both eyes were clear, bright yellow eyes blinked up at Big Sister and me. I had been worried, but the problem hadn’t been going on too long. With proper food it should recover without much trouble.
“Feel better?”
As if in answer, the lizard flicked its tongue across one eye. I cleaned the other side the same way. Only the tail was left, and that was where I hesitated.
“So-ryong? What’s wrong?”
Big Sister asked when I froze. The problem was that half the tail had already rotted. To save it I would have to cut most of the tail away. The creature’s inability to move wasn’t only because of the eye infection—the rotting tail was clearly dragging it down. But a lizard’s tail is its fat-storage organ. I still didn’t know what these things ate; if I amputated the tail it might starve to death almost immediately.
That was when the panicked shout reached us.
“S-So-ryong-nim, look out! We lost it!”
Commander Gu Pae’s urgent cry hit our ears. I clutched the lizard to my chest and spun around. The underbrush thrashed, and the other lizard burst into the open, panting with rage right in front of us. The moment it saw us its eyes went even redder and it roared.
—Kyaaaaah!
“We were trying to treat it, so calm down!”
—Kyaaah!
I held up the lizard in my arms as proof, but the furious creature only screamed louder, eyes bloodshot. The Wukongs understood speech, and most venomous beasts could communicate to some degree, so its rage puzzled me—until I looked at myself. Throwing dagger in my right hand, injured lizard cradled against my chest. From its point of view it was a full-on hostage situation.
I thrust my free hand out in panic.
“M-misunderstanding! I can explain everything! I-I was just trying to treat it, okay?!”