Hebei Peng Family 3: Father-in-Law and the Medicine Hall
The elders of the Medicine Hall took turns checking the child's pulse, only to wear the same baffled expressions afterward. Whatever the problem was, none of them could find a single abnormality that matched the symptoms the Peng family head had described.
Aside from her fondness for sweets, the girl looked perfectly healthy—rosy-cheeked and adorable. Nothing about her suggested a sick child. Personally, I was a little worried about pediatric diabetes; sugar snacks kept appearing from nowhere, and those things were loaded with sugar. Even in my past life, people used to claim treats like that were driving up childhood diabetes rates.
I've already seen her eat three of them. Where does she keep getting them?
I was still watching her happily lick another piece of candy when the conversation between the Peng family head and the elders continued.
"You say she sometimes grows short of breath and large red blotches break out across her body? And in severe cases she loses consciousness?"
"That's right. Her pulse weakens, or sometimes it races."
According to the Peng family head, the girl's symptoms included large red patches that appeared and vanished all over her body, difficulty breathing, loss of consciousness, low blood pressure, and a pounding heart. After a while the symptoms would gradually subside and she would come to her senses again.
My father-in-law tilted his head, then asked the Peng family head once more.
"Have you shown her to physicians?"
"Don't even get me started. Those swindlers! The child nearly stopped breathing several times, and all they could say was they had no idea why—"
"What about the Needle Sage and the Medicine Sage?"
"No one knows where those two are at present. We did take her to some of the Medicine Sage's disciples once. They said the child was perfectly healthy. But at the end, one of them made a strange remark… I nearly beat him senseless!"
"A strange remark? What did he say?"
I wondered what a disciple of the Medicine Sage could have said to earn that description. Once I heard it, though, it sounded far more serious than merely strange.
"Hmph… He said it looked suspiciously like poisoning."
"Poisoning!?"
The word hung in the air, and the atmosphere inside the family head's hall turned ice-cold. That final remark finally explained why the man had brought his daughter all the way from distant Hebei. If it was poison, of course he would want a diagnosis from the Sichuan Tang Family—the house that knew more about venom than anyone else. When it came to poison, we were the real deal.
So he came looking for a specialist. The problem is, we're more in the funeral business than the treatment business…
We both used the character for "death" in our names, but what the Peng Family needed was a doctor, and what we offered was more like an undertaker. We specialized in poison funerals, not poison cures. I had to wonder how much help we could actually be. The Tang Family's medical arts were formidable and my father-in-law's skill was outstanding, yet living among them had taught me that our main line of work was still arranging elegant exits by poison.
"Hmm… I understand why you've come. If the symptoms are as you describe, they do resemble poisoning."
At my father-in-law's reply the Peng family head's eyes flew wide.
"Th-then it's true!? Even when I heard it from the Medicine Sage's disciple I refused to believe it, but if the Tang family head says the same… Damn it all… This is impossible…"
"How could such a thing happen in the Peng Family…"
"Poisoning, in the Peng Family of all places…"
The Peng family head's violent reaction made the already chilly atmosphere even heavier. The other elders let their words trail off, faces full of pity and gravity.
What is this?
A child showing signs of poisoning was certainly serious, yet the adults' reaction felt… off. It wasn't simple concern for the girl; it felt more like the entire household was in crisis.
I couldn't quite grasp the mood until my sister-in-law's quiet transmission brushed my ear.
If the young lady has been poisoned, it means there may be a culprit inside the family who did it. That is why everyone is so grim. It implies there could be a traitor within the clan.
I turned to her in surprise. The Peng Family attached the same grand "Clan" title we did, so they were clearly a force to be reckoned with. For someone inside that household to poison a child… as my sister-in-law said, it meant their own people might have betrayed them. That truly was a disaster.
Even looking at our own Tang Family, being "family" in a great clan meant something far deeper than merely sharing a roof. Accusing one of them of betrayal was never a light matter.
True to form, the Peng family head's face hardened and he roared, as if the very idea was unbearable.
"We will speak no more of that! I refuse to suspect my own people!"
"Of course. Nothing is certain yet, so let us not jump to conclusions. Poisoning does not always mean someone deliberately administered venom."
"I-is that so? Then…?"
"There might be an unknown poisonous herb in the house, or perhaps an ornament carved from toxic wood. Could you tell us a few more details?"
In the heavy silence my father-in-law gently steered the conversation, offering the Peng family head a measure of comfort before beginning a proper examination. Diagnosis always started with questioning, after all.
"I am grateful, Tang family head. What sort of details do you need?"
"When the symptoms first appeared, and where they occurred—things of that nature."
"Hmm…"
The Peng family head thought hard, then began answering from memory.
"Usually inside the Peng compound. In the child's own quarters, or within the main courtyard. Once she collapsed on the training ground. It happened two or three times at night, and about four times during the day."
"Nothing in common at all, it seems."
My father-in-law had clearly hoped to find a pattern through the interview, but the answers offered none. The longer the talk went on, the more rigid his expression became.
In the end they made no progress that first day. The Peng household was given a small, vacant courtyard compound for the time being—a pleasant spot near Mount Tang, chosen only because the Tang Family was overflowing with guests and every proper reception hall was already packed with people from the Murim Alliance, the Emei Sect, the Qingcheng Sect, and the Wudang Sect.
For now the decision was simply to watch the girl. No one could say for certain whether this was poisoning or some strange illness, and—unpleasant as the thought was—everyone agreed that only by witnessing the symptoms firsthand would they have any chance of understanding them.
After the evening meal my sister-in-law came to my room carrying several books and a small medicine case filled with vials.
—Pop!
Each time she uncorked a bottle a delicate fragrance drifted out. She opened two of them, held them under my nose, and asked whether I could tell the difference.
"Can you distinguish this scent from that one?"
"Um… Aren't they the same?"
"No. This is the scent of a green apple. This is the scent of a fully ripe one."
Both smelled like apples to me, yet she insisted I learn to separate unripe from ripe. The reason we were suddenly playing perfume games was that she had begun training me in earnest as a poison sommelier.
Poison fragrance artist? Something like that.
To become a Ten-Poison Martial Artist you had to pass a test that required identifying poisons by scent alone. Since my sister-in-law had already aced that exam, I was receiving private tutoring from the best.
"Do you notice any difference?"
"No. Not at all…"
Apple scent was apple scent. What was the difference between green and ripe? I offered her an awkward, apologetic smile. She raised one stern finger and began to explain.
"You may not understand why the Tang Family trains its people to smell like this, but once you hear the reason you will see why it is essential. Listen carefully, So-ryong."
"Yes, Young Lady."
"We learn to separate apple scents because the paralysis poison favored by heretical martial artists smells like a green apple. The scent of a ripe apple, however, belongs to a completely different toxin—one that disperses internal energy. That is why apple is the very first pair of fragrances we teach.
"Moreover, a Tang Family nose serves as living proof of identity outside these walls. Identity tokens can be forged, but no one can counterfeit a Tang Family nose. If anyone ever doubts that you are one of us, you need only prove it with your sense of smell."
Oh-ho. So that's the deeper meaning.
If olfactory skill was a badge of Tang membership, I had even more reason to work hard. Just as that thought settled, a commotion rose beyond the courtyard walls. Through the open window I saw a maid sprinting toward my father-in-law's quarters.
"What is it?" my sister-in-law called, stepping to the window.
The maid answered, face pale with urgency.
"Young Lady! The young miss of the Peng Family has collapsed!"
"The young lady?"
Little Paeng Yeong-yeong had fallen. My sister-in-law looked straight at me.
"So-ryong, we're going!"
"Understood."
We left at once for the courtyard where the Peng family was staying. I was curious—and more than a little concerned—about what was happening to the child.
Moments later we reached the rear garden, where a great zelkova tree stood. Lanterns lit the pavilion; the girl lay pale and still on the floor while the Peng family head pressed his hand beneath her clothes, pouring energy into her exactly the way my father-in-law had once revived the village headman's granddaughter on Hainan Island.
"What happened!? Family Head Peng!"
My father-in-law and the elders of the Medicine Hall arrived at a run. The Peng family head, still channeling energy, shook his head.
"I don't know. She was sitting in the pavilion, started coughing, and simply collapsed."
"Let me examine her pulse."
My father-in-law took the child and felt her wrist. After a moment he spoke, frowning in confusion.
"Truly strange. The symptoms look exactly like poisoning, yet…"
—Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
Without warning the Peng family head began slapping his own face with furious force.
"F-Family Head!"
"Family Head Peng!"
"Family Head Peng, what on earth are you doing!?"
Everyone recoiled in shock. He had struck himself so hard that blood streamed from both nostrils. Spitting out a tooth, he declared,
"Ptoo! Forgive me! For a moment I doubted my own people, and I cannot forgive myself for that!"
"F-Family Head…"
In other words, he had briefly suspected the warriors who had accompanied him. He had brought only trusted men, yet his daughter had still been poisoned here—so of course the ugly thought had crossed his mind.
Anyone would think the same. It's his daughter.
The girl had collapsed from what looked like poison, and only Peng family members lived in that courtyard. Servants brought the meals, but if the poisoning had followed them from Hebei, the warriors who traveled with him were the only possible suspects.
The atmosphere grew solemn. Then the mountain-sized Peng warriors, eyes glistening with tears, suddenly followed their lord's example.
—Thwack! Thwack-thwack!
They dropped to their knees and began pounding their own faces with equal enthusiasm.
"Even though we were right here, we failed to protect the young lady from poison! Our crime is grave!"
"Grave!"
We already had one patient; now the entire Peng contingent was manufacturing more. My father-in-law stared in open-mouthed horror.
"Family Head Peng, stop your men! All of you, calm yourselves! We haven't even confirmed it is poison yet! We still need to examine the blood—"
They showed no sign of stopping. The family head himself resumed punching his own face, turning the pavilion into a madhouse of self-inflicted injuries.
"S-So-ryong, what do we do?" my sister-in-law whispered, flustered.
The Peng Family truly was a collection of unique characters—and right now, uniquely troublesome ones. Raising my voice, I shouted,
"Everyone, settle down! There is a way to determine whether the young lady's condition is a strange illness or poisoning—and to prove that all of you are innocent!"
The fists finally paused. The Peng warriors, looking as though they had just fought a blood cult battle that never happened, turned toward me. The Peng family head rushed over, voice urgent.
"What method!? Speak!"
I was no medical expert, but this was a technique I had used even on sick pets. When you needed to find the cause of an illness, nothing beat it.
"Yes. First we completely remove every scrap of clothing from Young Lady Paeng Yeong-yeong and—guh!"
"What did you just say!?"
People really ought to let a man finish his sentence. Instead the Peng family head seized me by the collar before I could explain, eyes blazing, while my sister-in-law stared at me in pure disbelief.
No, that is not what any of you are thinking!
I felt deeply, deeply wronged.