Mountain Stronghold 4
Inside the cave, a storm of raw, sticky madness was raging—not between different genders, but among males of an entirely different species, all tangled together in a frenzy.
And for that very reason the cave reeked with the scent of experts rolling off the bedbugs, yet only a sweet fragrance filled my nostrils.
Unlike over there, here it was one man and one woman as a pair.
Because I was holding Hwa-eun tightly in my arms.
Or rather, should I say Hwa-eun was holding me?
At those bastards’ screams and the bedbugs’ thrashing, Hwa-eun—who had already been clinging to me—squeezed me even tighter.
So this is why they tell you to take a date to a horror movie.
I finally understood why the sages of my past life insisted that people go watch horror films with someone they were still just flirting with.
I wished the moment would stretch on forever, but my wish was not granted.
The unpleasant sounds that had been pouring from where the Five Poisons Sect bastards lay had suddenly cut off completely.
Why are these things so damn fast?
I needed to light the torch again, and quickly.
Right now the creatures still put lust above hunger thanks to the female pheromones scattered in every direction. But the moment those ruptured females’ pheromones fully dispersed into the air, they would snap out of their frenzy and come looking for a meal—that much was certain.
“Hwa-eun, we have to light the torch again. If we’re late, they’ll come straight for us.”
“Mm… Ah, I understand, So-ryong.”
I reluctantly lifted my head and told her we had to separate; only then did Hwa-eun gently let go. On any ordinary day she would have sprung away in flustered shock at my words, yet now she slipped free with a voice dripping honey and kept a firm grip on my sleeve.
The hug had started because of the bedbugs, but my little speech about refusing to forgive anyone who insulted or coveted my woman seemed to have landed perfectly.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee! Hell yeah… So-ryong, you nailed it.
-Chiik.
-Whoosh.
Praising myself, I slipped from Hwa-eun’s arms and hurriedly rekindled the torch at my feet. As soon as the revived flame cast light around us, the bedbugs that had crept close scattered in every direction.
A few more seconds and we would have been in real trouble.
I shuddered once at the sight of them fleeing, then spoke to Hwa-eun.
“First I’ll grab those.”
“Yes. Understood.”
I pointed at the two female bedbugs I had stuffed into the glove woven from Yo-hwa’s silk and tossed aside earlier. After driving the swarming males back with the torch, I carried the glove toward the place where the Five Poisons Sect men had fallen.
-Thud. Thud.
As we drew nearer and reached the scene clawed—no, stabbed—by pure madness, the three Five Poisons Sect bastards lay dead looking for all the world like fruit salad tossed in mayonnaise. Faces and bodies alike were shredded and tattered.
Looking at that, I don’t think I could ever eat fruit salad again… Thank the heavens there’s no fruit salad around here…
Even I flinched at the sight; beside me Hwa-eun’s shocked voice rang out.
“Wh-what is this?!”
I had never given her the full explanation of “punishing them with what they like,” so of course she recoiled in horror at their grotesque state and demanded answers.
While I was still debating whether to tell her that the white goo was bedbug semen, Hwa-eun collected herself, took out a needle, and crouched before the corpses.
“Is this another poison from the bedbugs? But how did you make them attack only these men? It has to be connected to the bedbugs you threw earlier… So-ryong, you really are an amazing person.”
True to her Tang Clan blood, she assumed the white stuff was simply another toxin and was about to take a sample. I grabbed her arm in alarm.
“Th-that’s not poison.”
“Not poison? Then what is it?”
“Uh, well… i-it’s the bedbugs’ seed.”
“Seed?!”
The instant I told her the white substance was bedbug semen, Hwa-eun sprang backward, clutched my arm, then sprang away again in fresh shock. She stared at me with utter disbelief.
“H-how did this even happen? Why is it like this… What kind of bizarre… Why? Just what on earth?”
A nonstop barrage of questions poured out as if her brain had short-circuited. I decided I had better explain exactly what “punishing them with what they like” had meant. If I didn’t clear it up fast, permanent damage felt like a real possibility.
In a careful voice I laid it out for her: the breeding habits of bedbugs, how they actually reproduce, and the precise method I had used to discipline these bastards. I also slipped in a gentle reminder of just how terrifying this So-ryong can become when he gets angry.
“Ahem… So, you see…”
When my short explanation ended, Hwa-eun’s face was flushed crimson. It was definitely not only the red torchlight. She nodded with that reddened face.
“S-so that’s what you meant?”
Unable to meet my eyes, she turned only half her face toward me and offered thanks in an embarrassed little voice.
“Th-thank you, So-ryong.”
High-score embarrassed gratitude from Hwa-eun. Time for a critical hit. The atmosphere had been good all day; I figured I could push a little further. Come to think of it, the place was pitch-dark and felt a lot like a movie theater. First kisses happen in movie theaters—that’s the golden rule, right? Sure, some weird stuff was lying around, but if we just closed our eyes tightly we wouldn’t see any of it.
“No need to thank me. I only did what I had to. You’re my person, after all.”
“Euk…”
-Bang!
That was when it happened. Just as Hwa-eun’s face went flustered at my words, something exploded near the cave mouth.
The timing is seriously…
I had been hoping the mood would let me create a memory that might finally overwrite the kiss with the Golden-haired Bee King. Instead a roar came crashing down and flattened every last scrap of expectation.
Our eyes met at the sound; Hwa-eun suddenly remembered what she had forgotten.
“Cho must be here!”
“Ah! Seol Nui!”
Realizing it was about time for Cho to arrive, Hwa-eun and I launched into light footwork and sprinted for the entrance. The remaining warriors of the Ogong Squad that their captain had mentioned were clearly fighting Seol Nui and Cho right outside.
Of course, while running I tossed the glove woven from Yo-hwa’s silk into the open breeding pen. With two female bedbugs still inside it, the leftover males would gather one by one. Once they were all collected I planned to either douse them in poison or set the whole place ablaze and wipe out every last one. I already had more than enough paralysis venom from Yo-hwa and Yeondu, and keeping the Five Poisons Sect’s improved bedbugs as bioweapons felt too risky. I did briefly consider leaving a few behind as a special “re-education” tool for any future bastards who got too handsy with Hwa-eun… but only briefly.
-Tssrrr!
Still thinking about the bedbugs’ fate, I reached the cave mouth and heard Cho’s roar from outside, followed immediately by Seol Nui’s voice.
“Cho! Swipe them!”
-Thud! Crunch!
“Keheuk…”
“Watch yourselves! Keep your distance and fight!”
At Seol Nui’s sharp command I burst from the dark cave into the light of the entrance. My brow furrowed against the sudden brightness. As my eyes adjusted, the sight of Cho and Seol Nui rampaging like a tiger that had leapt into a pack of wolves filled my vision.
They were locked in a bloody free-for-all amid roughly twenty Five Poisons Sect warriors. A dozen of those warriors already lay motionless on the ground, and tattered ropes hung from Cho’s body in several places.
“Cho! Seol Nui!”
Hwa-eun mercilessly sprayed needles into the backs of the warriors’ heads, carving a path; together with me and my throwing knives we joined Seol Nui at once.
“Seol Nui, are you all right?”
“So-ryong! Hwa-eun! Are you two okay?!”
“We’re fine. What about you, Unnie?”
“We’re fine. We were just about to finish cleaning up. Cho! Jump over there and bite that one!”
Even while talking to us she kept giving Cho orders. At her command Cho shot in the indicated direction, clamped onto a man, and slammed him into the dirt.
-Tssrrr!
-Bang!
“Keok…”
The shock of Cho’s charge shattered the enemy formation completely. The moment one warrior found himself isolated against the massive wall that was Cho, Seol Nui closed in, seized him by the nape, and tore.
“Kyaaak…”
“When you stand before King Yama, tell him Seolpyo of the Beast Palace sent you!”
The Beast Palace’s Tiger Fist, the same one I had seen before? The Ogong Squad captain had talked like he had some secret trump card against Cho. Looking at the fight now, that claim was pure nonsense; Seol Nui and Cho were completely overwhelming them.
Then one of the bastards tried to fling a hidden weapon at Seol Nui, and an urgent shout rang out.
“Hidden weapon! Cho, block it!”
Cho instantly interposed himself in front of Seol Nui exactly as ordered. Their coordination was so flawless it almost made me feel left out.
Hey, why does my daughter sync so perfectly with Seol Nui? You’re making Dad jealous over here. And that Ogong Squad captain was full of it after all, wasn’t he?
While I was still thinking that, Seol Nui’s continuing stream of precise commands finally showed me why the two of them dominated the field. Seol Nui had trained and fought alongside the beasts of the Beast Palace since she was little. In robot-anime terms she was a veteran technician who had always piloted a standard unit—and now she had been handed an SSS-rank machine named Cho. The match was already over.
The crushing pressure and raw power rolling off Cho’s six-meter body, combined with the Beast Palace’s beast-combination techniques… Seol Nui linked with Cho in ways I had never even imagined: biting a warrior, soaring skyward, and dropping him; seizing another and hurling him into his comrades. Under her detailed instructions Cho didn’t simply rampage—he rampaged intelligently. One after another the Five Poisons Sect warriors crumpled.
The moment their defeat became unmistakable, Hwa-eun faced them with a freezing expression and declared:
“Your Ogong Squad captain is already dead. You would do well to abandon any hope of leaving this place alive!”
“Th-the captain?!”
-Bang!
“Keok…”
Anyone with eyes should have realized it the second we walked out of the cave their captain had entered. The news that the captain was dead finally shook them. Three or four more dropped in the blink of an eye; the survivors exchanged glances and scattered in every direction.
“Everyone scatter and report to the sect!”
And just like that, the battle at the mountain stronghold was over.
Cho and Seol Nui gave chase and finished off a few more, but they could not catch every last Five Poisons Sect man. A handful escaped in the end. After returning to the water base I wrote a letter and had Lee Tae deliver the news to the Murim Alliance as quickly as possible.
Their headquarters lay in another country, so the Five Poisons Sect would not return in force, yet we still needed the Alliance’s strength to clean up the surrounding area thoroughly. The remaining bedbugs would die on their own given time, but the Alliance still had to know exactly what the Five Poisons Sect had been doing here—and what kind of people they were—so that everyone would stay on guard.
Whatever those bastards had been plotting, it was anything but ordinary.
Even after the ship’s repairs were finished we waited another half-month or so before the Murim Alliance investigation team finally arrived. Familiar faces were among them.
“So-ryong!”
“Little brother! Have you been well?”
“What—Jiryong? Brothers?”
Earth Dragon Jegal Yong-cheon, Fist Dragon, Sword Dragon, Eumbong the Sound Phoenix, and Gungbong the Bow Phoenix were all part of the group. After the cheerful greetings, Jiryong sidled up and asked in a low voice:
“Young Hero So-ryong… any chance I could buy a little more of that Kissing Cream?”
Kissing Cream? What kind of ridiculous name is that… Wait—have you already used it all up?
Even though the stuff already had a perfectly normal name as rouge, it somehow ended up with that bizarre title. I decided I really needed to teach Jiryong and Eumbong a better method of applying it to the lips instead of eating it.