Chapter 10: Convenience Store Red (9)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 10: Convenience Store Red (9)
I don’t believe in God. Setting aside the matter of faith, I’ve never even entertained the thought that such a being exists. The humanity of my home world reached the far edges of space, and we learned that everything is governed by science and technology.
From my perspective as someone who studied physics, the things God is said to have done simply cannot be explained scientifically. I might be able to believe in spiritual entities, but the concept of a "God" has never been a word I was close to since childhood. Yet, for the first time in my life, I found myself searching for that very being today.
Oh, God. How on earth did it come to this?
There happened to be a motel right across from where we took shelter from the rain, and Yubin, complaining that her legs hurt, suggested we rest there for a while.
We ended up going inside. Since they weren't accepting short-term rentals at that hour, we paid the full overnight rate. While I stood dazed in the lobby like a child, Yubin finished the payment herself. We made it to the room, she set down her shopping bags, and then we reached the current situation.
We sat side by side on the bed, neither of us able to break the strange, heavy atmosphere. No matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldn't find the starting point of how things had escalated to this. We had clearly been walking and talking happily until the rain started, but that time felt like an eternity ago.
"Oppa… you wash first."
Her usual energetic voice was nowhere to be found. The spirited, powerful figure of Red I knew was gone without a trace.
"M-me? Me first?!"
As I lost my composure, my voice spiraled out of control, hitting a high pitch I never normally used.
"Should… should I wash first, then?"
Our eyes met. I saw my own panicked reflection in Yubin’s crimson pupils. The moment I saw myself, a bit of my rationality seemed to return.
No matter how I looked at it, this wasn't right. Setting aside the fact that I was supposed to be monitoring her, I felt strongly that, as one human to another, I shouldn't make a judgment based on the impulses of the moment.
Furthermore, if I acted on those impulses and ended up getting thrashed, the relationship we had built until now would crumble instantly. For the sake of the mission alone, the right thing to do was to escape this situation.
Having made up my mind, I bolted upright. A startled Yubin looked up at me, but I didn't meet her gaze as I took a step toward the door.
"I’ll take a taxi home, so you should rest here before you go."
I once again rejected the thoughts that had been swirling in my head since yesterday and forced myself to focus on the need to leave. The door, which was only a few steps away, felt infinitely distant.
"Ah…."
I heard Yubin’s short intake of breath, but I didn't look back. I didn't trust myself to stay; if I did, I feared I wouldn't be able to control my instincts.
I turned the corner and started putting on my shoes at the entrance. But the moment I reached for the handle, a sound from the room behind me made me freeze in my tracks.
*
From the moment we met by chance, had dinner, and I went home—no, perhaps even before then—I had been acting strange.
The way Oppa looked when we ate, the way he looked when he said goodbye. Images of what he would look like when I saw him the next day kept floating through my mind.
How can I get closer to him? Come to think of it, Oppa speaks informally to me, but I’m still using formal language with him. Maybe we could be closer, but my formal speech is keeping us apart? Would Oppa be okay if I suddenly started speaking informally? Would he hate it? I hope he wouldn't hate it.
The time I spent waiting for him to show up after I started my shift felt longer than anything I’d ever experienced. I served the customers who came into the convenience store normally, but my head turned toward the door every time it opened.
Oppa usually came at a certain time, and even though it wasn't that time yet, I kept wondering if he might come a little early today.
I knew there was no particular reason for him to change his routine after coming at the same time for over a month.
Just as I had resigned myself to waiting while ringing up a customer, the door chimed. I turned my head, and there was the person I had been waiting for so desperately.
In my excitement, I called out to him loudly. Our eyes met, and there was no way he didn't hear me, but Oppa just walked toward the back of the store without a word. I felt a bit hurt, feeling like a fool for waiting so long.
When Oppa comes to the store, he always pays and leaves immediately. It’s always been that way, and it was only natural for him to do the same today, but I just felt sad seeing him go. I wanted to see him more. Couldn't he just stay for a bit?
I thought about him even when he wasn't there, but now that he was right in front of me, the urge to see him was incomparable. Even though I was looking at him, I wanted to keep looking at him.
The thought that if he walked out that door, I wouldn't see him until tomorrow made me grab him, and Oppa stayed in the store for me. Does Oppa, who comes to the store where I am, want to see me as much as I want to see him? I hoped so.
Oppa, who was heating up a lunchbox in the microwave, was staring at me. It was embarrassing to have him look so blatantly.
When I sent him a text asking why he kept looking, he replied, "Just because." There was no other reason. He came to the store where I was, and since I was there, he looked.
Why did I want to see him so much?
Because I like him?
No. It’s a little different from just liking him.
The reason I want to see him is… I just want to see him. I just want to see him, just because.
The cigarettes displayed at the counter ran out, so I went to the storage room to restock. On my way back, I saw Oppa’s back as he was on the phone. As I got closer, I heard a woman’s voice. Who was it? A friend? Family? Maybe… a girlfriend?
The person Oppa was talking to turned out to be his boss. I knew Oppa wouldn't lie to me about something like that, so I believed him and felt relieved enough to go back to work.
As I watched Oppa sitting in the store, his outfit finally caught my eye. Had I really been staring only at his face all this time?
He was dressed normally today. It would be great if he kept dressing like that. I’d never had a boyfriend before, so I didn't even know what I liked, but it turned out I liked simple styles.
Since we were on the subject, I decided to mention the clothes he wore last time.
Seeing Oppa’s shocked expression, I felt a bit sorry, wondering if I’d been too blunt, but it was also funny. I found myself staring at him as he avoided my gaze, and then Oppa said he was going to buy some clothes.
"When?!"
Please let it be a day when I can go with him. If it’s during my shift next week, I’ll even skip work to go, so please let us go together.
It seemed Oppa was planning to go tomorrow or the day after. I couldn't skip my shifts this week, so how could I persuade him to go on a different day?
"Want to come with me?"
With those few words from Oppa, I felt like I had gained the whole world.
He suggested we go together tomorrow after I finish work. This is definitely a date. It has to be, right? Going shopping together after work is definitely a date. There’s no other way to describe it.
"I'll go!"
I answered energetically, and after we agreed, Oppa went home. This is bad. My heart is racing so much I can't calm down.
As soon as my shift ended, I ran home at full speed. The moment I got inside, I turned on my old, cheap laptop and searched for men’s clothing online.
Having never had a boyfriend—or even a male friend—I knew how to take care of my own clothes, but I knew nothing about men’s fashion. I could tell if something looked good or bad, but I didn't know what style or colors would suit someone like Oppa.
Since Oppa seemed to know nothing about clothes either, I had to be sure so I could pick the right things for him. That way, I could keep seeing him looking handsome. I wondered if I was being too shallow, but then again, looking good was much better than looking bad.
I stayed up until dawn watching videos about men’s fashion and fell asleep only when the sun came up. I slept all morning, went to the convenience store, and an hour before my shift ended, I suddenly wondered what Oppa would wear.
I had prepared quite a bit myself, so I wanted him to put in some effort too, and I sent him a text.
When I received the photo of Oppa’s clothes, I realized just how far removed he was from fashion. Still, it wasn't the absolute worst, and by picking the best options among them, I could come up with a decent combination.
The moment I stepped out of the convenience store after work, I saw Oppa. He had dressed exactly as I told him.
I was wearing a turtleneck with a cutout at the chest and a short black skirt—I wondered if Oppa would like it.
Throughout the time we spent picking out clothes at the department store, I had a serious look on my face. I saw many other couples, and I didn't want to lose to them. I felt a sense of responsibility to choose the best clothes for Oppa, and I focused intensely, recalling everything from the videos I’d watched.
Oppa tried on everything I picked and bought the ones we thought were best.
After we finished, Oppa picked out some clothes for me.
He looked so serious while searching for something for me to wear. I wondered if I had that same expression when I was picking his clothes.
I was going to buy them, but the price was higher than I expected. I could afford it, but I wouldn't have enough money to last until next week’s payday.
But these were clothes Oppa picked for me. Should I push myself to buy them? While I was agonizing over it, Oppa paid for them with his card. He said it was a gift in return for helping him.
The clothes Oppa bought me were a black dress, and it seemed he thought it looked good on me.
Whether it suited me or not didn't matter. What mattered most was that it was the first gift Oppa had ever given me.
After leaving the department store, we started talking and looking for a place to eat.
Because we were so engrossed in conversation, we walked until we reached an area with no restaurants, and just as we were about to turn back, it started to rain.
Why did it have to rain on our first date? I felt a bit resentful toward the sky, and then I saw the motel across the street.
If I went there and spent the night with Oppa, would he stay with me forever? I’ve never done this before—would it be okay? It’ll be fine. Oppa is kind.
Afraid that Oppa might say no, I hurriedly grabbed his hand and led him into the room.
Sitting side by side on the bed, I became even more conscious of him. Since I’d walked a lot after work and gotten rained on, would it be better to wash up?
Then, Oppa suddenly stood up and walked toward the entrance.
"Ah…."
I reached out to stop him, only to realize that I had made a mistake.
I had fallen for him all on my own, and without even asking for his opinion, I’d been excitedly walking arm-in-arm with him and grabbing his hand whenever I wanted. What kind of face had Oppa been making while I was off in my own world?
I’d relied on his kindness and dragged him around according to my own greed, even bringing him to a place like this. Oppa never intended for this.
I’d always been alone, but I’d always hated being alone. Because there was no one around me. Not Mom. Not Dad.
But then Oppa appeared. He answered when I contacted him, and he never complained no matter what I did.
I’d selfishly assumed it was all okay.
I couldn't call out to Oppa as he grew further away. If he walked out now, I’d never be able to see him again, right? He wouldn't want to associate with someone as selfish as me.
That’s why I ended up alone. Because I act so selfishly even toward someone who shows me kindness, I ended up alone.
Someone like me is better off alone….
I couldn't lift my head. It felt like the tears were about to burst forth. Just hold it in a little longer.
I’ll cry after Oppa opens the door and leaves. I can’t let him see me looking so pathetic at the very end.
"Ugh, hic!"
Don't come out! I told you not to come out!
Even as I bit my lip and screamed at myself in my head, the tears wouldn't stop.
Even as I squeezed my eyes shut to hold them back, they wouldn't stop.
I felt a warmth on the back of my hand and lifted my head. Oppa was sitting there, holding my hand and looking into my eyes.
*
I came here to invade Earth, but I am no demon.
Though we were born in different places, I was capable of sharing emotions with the people of Earth.
"Why are you crying?"
Looking at a crying girl, it’s impossible not to feel sympathy and worry.
"N-no. I'm not crying…."
She wiped away her tears and forced the corners of her mouth up with her hands, trying to make a smiling face.
I was on a mission to monitor Yubin, but today, it really felt like we were just out having fun, and I had been happy.
For a moment, I thought a relationship like this wouldn't be so bad.
But if this relationship continued, it would eventually lead to something I couldn't handle.
If I were to lay a hand on Yubin, who had opened her heart to me, I might leave her with an indelible wound—not as enemy to enemy, but as human to human.
Yes. For Yubin’s sake, I should leave.
That was why I intended to go, but I never intended to see her making… a face like this.
When I took hold of Yubin’s hands as she forced her smile, she began to sob again, the tears pouring out.
"Oppa. I-I'm sorry."
She apologized to me through her hiccups, her voice barely audible.
No matter how much I thought about it, Yubin hadn't done anything wrong to me. Why was she apologizing?
"I like you, Oppa, but... I don’t know what to do... I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so selfish. I’m sorry…."
I’m fairly quick on the uptake.
Seeing the way Yubin acted, I had realized long ago that she had feelings for me. You’d have to be a fool not to know.
But I had deliberately looked away and denied it every time the thought occurred. I thought that was best for both of us.
I had recognized Yubin’s feelings and rejected them, and in the end, my ignorant actions had made a girl cry.
"No. I'm the one who's sorry."
I pulled the crying girl into an embrace and patted her back.
While I was denying it to myself and showing nothing on the outside, how much must she have suffered? How anxious must she have been, seeing no reaction from me even when she expressed herself?
The things I did unconsciously, and the things I did without intent, must have felt special to her. It was my actions that made her like me, yet I had irresponsibly tried to pretend I didn't know.
In dramas, you often see characters like that. People who act kindly to others, leading them on, only to hurt them by failing to notice their feelings. Even though they were fictional, I truly hated that kind of person. If they were going to do that, they shouldn't have led the other person on in the first place….
And yet, I was doing the very thing I considered the worst.
After she had cried for a long time and finally stopped, Yubin and I sat side by side on the bed again. The only difference from before was that I was still holding her hand tightly.
"I'm sorry. I thought you were leaving... I thought I’d never see you again…."
It seemed that my attempt to leave for her sake looked like I was leaving to never see her again. I hadn't known that Red of Team Hunter Killer, whom I thought was only reliable and strong, was such a fragile girl.
"I won’t go. I’ll stay here with you until tomorrow morning."
Hearing those words, she leaned into me slightly, looking relieved. The emotions I had been trying so hard to suppress suddenly surged forth, and I found myself tightening my grip on her hand.
Taking that as some kind of signal, she lifted her bowed head and looked at me. Our eyes met.
"But, if I stay here... how should I put it? I might not be able to stay rational?"
The girl who had asked if I wanted to wash first was nowhere to be found. As soon as she heard my words, Yubin’s face turned as bright red as her suit, and she dropped her trembling gaze.
Her lips quivered as if she wanted to say something but didn't know what.
"I-I-It's... okay."
Huh?
"If it's you, Oppa... it's okay…."
Seeing her struggle to speak while unable to hide her flushed face, it really did become difficult to stay rational. In truth, the outcome had been decided from the start. A man and a woman alone in a motel on a rainy weekend. What else was there to think about?
"I'm not taking responsibility for what happens, okay?"
The moment Yubin lifted her head and our eyes met again, I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers.
Her body stiffened for a moment before slowly relaxing. After a brief kiss, I pulled back and looked into her eyes again.
"Um, I haven't washed yet…."
"It doesn't matter."
Ultimately unable to overcome my desire, I laid the blushing, trembling Yubin down onto the bed.