Anger
The sound of the bathroom door closing with a click echoed, and the water from the shower began to flow quietly into the living room. Water crashed against the walls and spread across the floor in an irregular rhythm. Hyunwoo sank deeply into the sofa.
The worn fabric of the second-hand sofa wrapped around his body, offering no comfort whatsoever. The scene of the senior center flashed before his eyes. Yuna's back as she bent over on the mat, surrounded by the gazes of the elderly men.
Those gazes were not filled with admiration or praise. They were the hungry, greedy form of a starving beast that has found its prey. The elders' eyes, their blatant stares at Yuna, and the photos they had taken.
Kim Deuksoo holding his phone horizontally, aligning the lens with Yuna's chest and waist line. The village head laughing beside him and saying "for review." Everything replayed in Hyunwoo's mind like film.
He closed his eyes, trying to erase them, but memories more vivid than sight tormented him from sound. As the shower sound stopped, the noise and scenes became even clearer. Kim Deuksoo was taking photos of Yuna's body.
"For review," they said. But it was clearly a lie. Hyunwoo knew. They would use those photos for other purposes. Perhaps they would gather to look at them and laugh. Hyunwoo didn't even want to think about it.
Before Yuna came out of the bathroom, Hyunwoo got up from the sofa and headed towards the front door. Opening the front door, the night air brushed against Hyunwoo's cheeks. The cool night air seemed to cool his heart a little.
Hyunwoo entered the alley. In the darkness, he was just walking. Without thinking, just walking.
But in his mind, the scene of the senior center was still replaying. Yuna bending over, the elders' greedy eyes, the shutter sound. All of it tormented Hyunwoo.
He clenched his fists and struck the wall. Without making a sound, but with all his strength. The cold touch of the wall somewhat cooled Hyunwoo's anger.
The quiet neighborhood at night was unusually noisy despite the late hour. After the day's noise subsided, an irony took effect where the sounds of nature seemed louder. The sound of wind brushing through leaves, the chorus of frogs from afar, and even louder the chirping of cicadas.
Hyunwoo walked the familiar alley to the entrance of the studio apartment. From somewhere, a familiar yet unfamiliar voice came. "Look, I told you I could definitely see it, right?"
Minsu's voice was dripping with excitement. His voice cut through the night's quietness and pierced sharply into Hyunwoo's ear. "Should I take photos and sell them to the kids at school?"
Jaemin's voice followed. There was a cruel amusement mixed in his words. "Even if you mosaic it, you can tell it's Yuna-senpai."
The two men's quiet laughter spread into the darkness. That laughter dug sharply into Hyunwoo's chest. "This bastard Hyunwoo lives with Yuna-senpai but can't even fuck her, what a cuck."
That word was like a blade aimed at Hyunwoo's pride. The men's voices were vivid as if right next to his ear, seeping in. His heart began to race wildly.
He held his breath and listened to their words. Their conversation was like flames burning in Hyunwoo's brain. Following the voices, Hyunwoo approached Yuna's room window.
His footsteps were almost inaudible, but his heartbeats were deafeningly loud to himself. The window was slightly open, and through the gap, the backs of the two men and the phone screen were visible. On the screen was the image of a wet Yuna.
Yuna's posture bending over, her wet body clearly visible. Hyunwoo stopped breathing upon seeing the screen. "You guys..."
Hyunwoo's voice was low and cold. Jaemin and Minsu turned to him with surprised expressions as if hit on the back of the head. At first, they didn't recognize who it was, but the moment they saw Hyunwoo's face reflected in the faint streetlight, excitement and embarrassment were still mixed on their faces.
Hyunwoo's expression was close to expressionless as usual, but deep in his eyes, flames of anger were burning. That flame was an unstable flame that could erupt at any moment.
At that moment, Jaemin and Minsu exchanged glances. In those glances was surprise at 'This guy found out' and cruelty at 'How to deal with him'. Their instantaneous agreement was silently completed, and the next moment they lunged at Hyunwoo.
Jaemin grabbed Hyunwoo's collar, and Minsu kicked Hyunwoo's stomach with his knee. Hyunwoo just thought 'I can't do anything' and endured the beating without moving. Thud, thud.
The sounds echoed in Hyunwoo's ears. Hyunwoo's body didn't hurt, but his heart felt like it was tearing. He endured the beating without saying a word.
His lips were stained with blood, and a tear fell from his eyes. After the beating, Jaemin brought his mouth close to Hyunwoo's ear and said. His breath tickled Hyunwoo's earlobe.
"You should have kept your distance when I was treating you like a senpai. Idiot." His voice was quiet, but the threat contained in it pierced Hyunwoo's bones. Jaemin grabbed Hyunwoo's hair roughly and fixed his gaze on himself.
"A bastard who can't even fuck while living with Yuna-senpai." His words trampled on Hyunwoo's pride. Minsu whispered in Hyunwoo's ear last. There was a disgusting smell mixed in his breath.
"If you tell Yuna-senpai, we'll spread all the photos we took to the school. Got it?" The anger burning in Hyunwoo disappeared without a trace. He nodded without saying a word.
His head was heavy, and his heart could feel nothing more. They disappeared into the darkness. Hyunwoo staggered back to the entrance.
His fingers trembling as he entered the password. After opening the door and entering, he collapsed onto the living room sofa. Buried deep in the armrest of the old sofa, Hyunwoo counted the patterns on the ceiling.
Faint moonlight seeped through the window cracks and spread like spots. The sense of powerlessness that he could do nothing filled his whole body, and that helplessness soon turned into anger. The conversation he heard outside echoed again in his ears.
"Fuck, should I sell to the kids at school. Popular, right. What expression will Yuna-senpai make if she sees these photos. Let's enjoy together." Their voices crawled like bugs in Hyunwoo's brain, leaving sticky traces.
He clenched and opened his fists. What meaning would that action have. It would only prove more clearly that he was powerless.
He fell asleep with tired eyes after a tiring day. Even in the deep, dark sleep, Hyunwoo could not escape the faces of Jaemin and Minsu, and their cold gazes. They were laughing in his dreams.
The next morning, the sharp alarm sound woke Hyunwoo from sleep. When he opened his eyes, morning sunlight poured in through the window, illuminating the living room. The nightmare from the dream was vivid like reality.
Hyunwoo stared blankly at his phone ringing with the alarm. On the screen was the name 'Yuna'. Hyunwoo hesitated for a moment, then answered the call.
"Hyunwoo, my swimsuit disappeared, can you bring a spare one from home?" Yuna's voice was bright as usual, but there was a subtle anxiety mixed in. "Got it."
Hyunwoo's voice was a bit husky, as if not fully awake from sleep. "Don't be late. Thanks, Hyunwoo." Yuna's voice cut off.
Hyunwoo sat on the sofa for a moment. The face that was hit by Jaemin and Minsu yesterday came to mind. Bruises on his cheeks, swollen lips.
He approached the mirror. The man in the mirror was unfamiliar. The traces of yesterday's beating remained on his face.
Hyunwoo went to Yuna's room to find the spare swimsuit. "There must be somewhere here..." He opened Yuna's closet. Many clothes hung neatly.
He rummaged through the closet. No swimsuit. He opened the drawer under the closet. Underwear neatly folded.
He tried to find the swimsuit in there, but his hand touched something else. Yuna's panties. It was made of soft, silky fabric, and small lace was attached on top.
Hyunwoo held it in his hand. For a moment, an inexplicable anger enveloped Hyunwoo. That anger was hot, cold, and at the same time sticky.
The touch of the thin fabric in his hand was as vivid as if he had touched Yuna's skin directly. The smooth touch like silk, and the delicate texture of the thin lace passed between his fingers. He held it in his hand, looking around Yuna's room.
A fragrant shampoo scent mixed with fabric softener. That scent was too familiar to Hyunwoo, but at the same time too unfamiliar. Hyunwoo brought the panties to his nose.
A faint scent of Yuna. That scent paralyzed his reason. In his mind, the voices of Jaemin and Minsu echoed.
"A bastard who can't even fuck while living with Yuna-senpai. If you tell Yuna-senpai, we'll spread all the photos we took to the school." Hyunwoo gripped the panties tightly in his hand.
And began to shake his penis hard, wrapping it in his hand. The silky touch in his hand had now turned into hot heat, melting on his palm. Hyunwoo's eyes were closed, but in his mind, Yuna's figure was clearly drawn.
Yuna bending over at the senior center, her voice just heard, and this small piece in his hand. All of it fused into one image, dominating his mind. The speed of the shaking hand gradually increased.
His breathing became rough, and his heart felt like it would tear through his chest and burst out. Hot emotions mixed with anger, guilt, and desire flowed through his body. The room was still quiet, but in Hyunwoo's ears, his own rough breathing and the sound of his hand thundered like thunder.
He suddenly opened his eyes. His reflection in the mirror, and Yuna's panties in his hand. That sight brought shame to him, but at the same time, it aroused an unstoppable impulse.
Hyunwoo closed his eyes again. And began to shake even harder. His body was now completely dominated by desire.
And finally, Hyunwoo's body began to tremble. Hot liquid burst on his palm. Hyunwoo exhaled roughly and stopped his hand.
In his hand was hot liquid mixed with Yuna's panties. Hyunwoo stared blankly at his hand for a moment. Then, staggering, he stood up and had to hide the panties somewhere.
He threw it into the drawer. And began to look for the swimsuit. It was deep in the closet.
He took the swimsuit and left Yuna's room. The living room was still quiet, and in that quietness, Hyunwoo reflected on his actions. Guilt tightened his throat.
He approached the mirror again. The man in the mirror was still unfamiliar. The traces of yesterday's beating remained on his face, and in his eyes was shame and guilt.
Hyunwoo tried to punch the mirror, but to not make a sound, he hit the side wall with all his strength. The cold touch of the wall somewhat cooled Hyunwoo's anger. He took the swimsuit and headed to the front door.
The path to school felt unusually long. Inside the bus, Hyunwoo looked out the window. All the passing scenery was blurry, and in his mind, Yuna's figure and Jaemin and Minsu's faces kept coming up.
He closed his eyes trying to erase them, but the more he did, the clearer they became.