The World's Greatest Cooking Competition
"All done. Tied up nice and tight."
Rahel looked down at me, firmly bound to the chair, hands planted on her hips with a satisfied smile.
I let out a long sigh. Three days of bondage in a row. At this point, I could read these girls' current mood and mental state just from the way the ropes dug into my body and the specific knots they used. Rahel's turtle-shell binding was exceptionally solid today, which meant her possessiveness had ratcheted up another level since yesterday.
Anyway, Rahel and Cecilia had teamed up to wrap me like a mummy in ropes. Now they stared at me with deeply satisfied expressions.
It was honestly ridiculous. These two usually tried to kill each other the moment their eyes met, yet when it came to tying me to a chair and locking me up, they functioned with the perfect teamwork of interlocking gears. ...Did peace only visit this house when I caused trouble?
"Alright, preparations are finished. Shall we begin?"
"Kukuk... This is going to be fun...."
Rahel hummed a little tune as she headed for the kitchen and pulled out a kitchen knife that gleamed with a chilling light. Then, like a butcher approaching the block, she began walking toward me—slowly, ever so slowly.
Hiiik! Was she planning to slice my tongue off with that thing?! So when she said she wanted to "purify my lips," she literally meant surgical removal?!
Rahel stopped right in front of me and pressed the flat, ice-cold side of the blade against my lips.
She really looked ready to cut. I squeezed my eyes shut, mentally bidding farewell to my long-suffering three-inch tongue, when—
"...What should I cook for my puppy with this knife?"
Huh? Cook?
"I-I have to make whatever Mujin wants to eat..."
Cecilia nodded creepily from the side, chiming in. I snapped my eyes open and let out a breath that was half bewilderment, half relief.
"Wait, you were going to cook? Whew... I thought you were about to cut my tongue out..."
"Hehe! You thought I was cutting your tongue? If you want, I can snip it off real pretty for you."
Clang! Rahel spun the knife in a flashy twirl and grinned.
"Huk! N-no! Just hurry up and cook already! I'm so hungry I'm getting dizzy!"
Only then did Rahel pull the knife away from my lips.
"Fine. So what do you want to eat? Say it nicely, my puppy. Your master will make anything for you."
"Then while you're cooking, could you at least untie these ropes first..."
"Ah, omurice! So my puppy wants omurice with a big ketchup heart on top!"
She clearly hadn't heard a single word I said. As Rahel wrapped her arms around my neck and started rubbing her cheek against mine, Cecilia cut in like a bucket of ice water.
"O-our Mujin... likes my slowly simmered meat stew way more than that half-assed stir-fried omurice of yours..."
"What?"
At Cecilia's provocation, Rahel lifted her face from my cheek and whipped her head around. I sighed. Here we go again.
"You sewer bug bitch. You don't even know the first thing about cooking—what makes you think you can open your mouth?"
"I-I've been... practicing hard underground... for our Mujin..."
"Ha! What would a rat know about cooking practice?"
Their murderous crimson eyes and abyssal black eyes collided in midair. It felt like actual killing lasers were firing between them, far beyond mere sparks.
"Girls, I'm honestly grateful if you just mix some rice with soy sauce..."
"Fine. Then let's settle this. A cooking battle. We'll see whose dish tastes better."
"Kukuk, g-good... This time I'll crush you properly..."
...Wait a second. A cooking battle? That meant I was inevitably the one who had to judge and eat the results, right? After yesterday's half-rotten demon corpse, today I'd been drafted as the taste-tester for what might turn out to be poison or an assassination attempt.
Damn it. I'd gotten dragged into another shitstorm.
While I sat tied to the chair, sinking deeper into a swamp of despair, Rahel and Cecilia took over the kitchen and began cooking in earnest.
Rahel's process was remarkably stable. The cheerful rhythm of her knife against the cutting board filled the air as she skillfully minced vegetables, swept them into a heated wok, and started stir-frying with dramatic flair. That perfect wrist snap, evenly coating everything with that signature fire-kissed flavor! The skills that had once made her our party's undisputed cook were on full display.
At least with Rahel's food, I could eat without fearing for my life.
But Cecilia... that was a different story. A very worrying one.
Back when we were in a party together, Cecilia never cooked. Instead, she'd secretly spike our ingredients with strange magic potions or unidentifiable mushrooms just to mess with us. No matter how much she'd supposedly practiced underground, there was no way I could trust her.
Even under my anxious gaze, Cecilia silently sliced meat and dumped ingredients into a large pot. On the surface, it looked like ordinary cooking. Had she actually been practicing normal recipes this whole time?
My faint hope didn't last long. As time passed, a sticky, unpleasant odor—like a backed-up sewer—began drifting from the kitchen. The source of this biochemical attack was, naturally, Cecilia's meat stew pot.
"Pfft! That's what you get when a rat tries to cook."
Rahel flipped her wok with a practiced toss, sniffed the air, and sneered at Cecilia.
"I-it's not like that... The moment you taste it... it's so good you w-won't be able to say a word...?"
"No, you'll be too busy dying from poisoning to say anything. Hehe."
Rahel's brutal honesty sent a chill down my spine. This was looking really bad. Was I seriously going to need a stomach pump after this?
...Wait. Hadn't Cecilia just secretly poured some suspicious purple liquid into the pot?!
No!! That stuff looked like it would burn straight through my organs!
I wanted to shout and stop her, but sadly I was nothing more than a helpless hostage tied to a chair—with no gag, at least.
After what felt like an eternity of pure terror, two bowls were finally set before me.
One was Rahel's omurice—steaming, perfectly golden fried rice topped with a big, beautiful heart drawn in ketchup. The other was... Cecilia's "purple dark matter," bubbling and churning like lava from hell itself. Every time a sticky bubble popped in that violet swamp, I swore I could hear the faint screams of tormented souls. Was I imagining it? And was the tip of the metal spoon stuck in that swamp actually melting a little?
I swallowed hard and spoke carefully.
"Um... Cecilia..."
"Yes...? What is it, Mujin...?"
"What exactly... did you transmute here?"
"I-I told you... It's a nutrition-packed m-meat stew..."
Since when did meat stew boil purple?! This was clearly a witch's brew!
"Hehe! Looks like I've already won this bet, right?"
"Th-that's... you don't know that..."
No, I was pretty sure I did. The winner was obvious even before tasting anything.
"Anyway. I just need to eat these and give my evaluation, right? Hey, is there any rule that lets me judge by sight alone..."
"Th-that's not allowed... You have to eat it no matter what..."
I groaned. Eating hers felt like it would come with a complimentary one-way ticket across the Jordan River.
There was no escape. I'd have to start with Rahel's to buy myself as much survival time as possible.
"Rahel. I'll try yours first."
"Oh my! Really?! Here, say 'ah~,' my puppy!"
"Hmph..."
The moment I chose her dish first, Rahel's face lit up. She scooped a generous spoonful of omurice and brought it to my lips.
The instant it entered my mouth, a majestic orchestral BGM seemed to swell inside my head. The savory rice grains, the silky egg, and the sweet-tangy ketchup that perfectly balanced the richness—it was absolute perfection. It tasted like the ultimate comfort food from my Korean salaryman days, the kind I'd devoured with tear-soaked spoons at late-night restaurants after overtime. The flavor flooded every vein in my body.
Even tied up, I wanted to give it a standing ovation.
"How is it? How is it? Delicious, right?!"
"Yeah, it's perfect. The egg is cooked just right, and the ketchup cuts through the oiliness beautifully. It suits my taste exactly."
"Really?! Kyaaaah!"
At my praise, Rahel let out a joyful scream like she'd conquered the world and threw her arms around my neck.
And right at that warm, fuzzy moment, it appeared beneath my chin.
Uwek! The omurice in my stomach nearly made a reappearance. The smell was insane—like rotten sewer water boiled with industrial chemicals.
Even Rahel, who had been hugging me, grimaced and leaped back a full meter.
"Eww!! Hey, you bug bitch!! What the hell did you put in that pot?!"
"J-just try it once... Mujin... I-it's really delicious..."
The usual creepy madness had vanished from Cecilia's face. She held the spoon with both trembling hands, looking up at me like an abandoned puppy. Those pitiful, desperate eyes.
Ah, damn it. That kind of gaze was cheating.
When someone reached out so sincerely, hands shaking like that, it felt too cruel to slap it away.
I let out a heavy sigh and nodded.
"...Fine. I'll eat it."
"W-wow... you're really going to...?"
"Hey, Park Mujin!! Have you lost your mind?! Are you suicidal?! That stuff is obviously lethal poison!"
"Can't be helped. She went through all that trouble to cook it for me."
"Then just eat mine until you're full, you crazy bastard!!!"
Just before Rahel could knock the spoon away, I squeezed my eyes shut and shoveled the purple dark matter into my mouth.
Gulp.
"...I ate it."
"Aaaaaaaaaah!! Park Mujin!!!!"
Zero-point-one seconds after the purple stew slid down my throat, I realized the horrible smell and appearance had been nothing but a cute decoy.
An overwhelming "flavor" that defied human language crashed over my taste buds like a tidal wave. It didn't just break the limits of taste—it overloaded my brain with so much information that the fuse simply blew with a clean pop.
It felt like my soul was being forcibly ejected from my body.
At the same time, Rahel's screams and Cecilia's voice began to fade into the distance. I thought I saw my great-grandfather—someone I'd never met in life—waving a hoe frantically beyond the misty Samdocheon, yelling at me not to come any closer.
My vision went completely black. Just like that, the power cord of my body was yanked out.