Chapter 33: Even the Absolute Being Is a First-Time Dad
Absolute One's First Time Being a Dad - Episode 33
「The Gathering of Secret Tycoons」
This place, rumored to be operated by the goblin clan known for their shrewd calculations and profit-seeking nature, offered far more than just safekeeping for valuables.
It functioned much like a cross-dimensional bank, handling everything from deposits, savings, and loans to insurance, securities, and even bonds and promissory notes.
Thanks to this, it had grown into a 'large-scale private bank' with countless branches spanning the entire Abyss.
And yet...
Among all the wealthy magnates across dimensions who were its main clientele, there was one legendary customer whispered about in hushed tones.
Anux's Immortal.
He had deposited more wealth than any other client, then vanished without visiting the bank for two to three hundred years.
This led to heated debates among the goblins about the mysterious customer known as 'Immortal':
"I dare say Immortal's deposits with us amount to barely a tenth of his total assets."
"What nonsense are you spouting! Are you suggesting someone became our top client with just a tenth of their wealth?"
"It's as if Immortal considers that astronomical sum mere pocket change he absentmindedly forgot about."
Only Kazan, the branch manager of this Earth location who had personally recruited Immortal as a client, knew the truth behind these rumors.
'It's all true...'
He was the one who had originally brought Immortal—the protagonist of those rampant rumors—into the Gathering of Secret Tycoons as a client.
"Then I'll prepay ten thousand years' worth of fees upfront."
The infamous tycoon, whose name struck fear across the Abyss, had paid a lump sum covering ten millennia of service fees upon signing up...
That day.
Kazan became the first outsider to step foot into Immortal's secret vault deep beneath Anux's imperial palace.
What he witnessed was a dazzling golden spectacle—as if all the world's wealth had been gathered in one place.
Precious metals, jewels, and divine artifacts were piled up like worthless clutter, so overwhelming it made one dizzy.
'Even I, who frequented the dimensional vaults storing deposits of the Abyss's wealthiest as if they were my own home, couldn't help but be awed...'
Emerging from his reverie, Kazan shook his head and continued down the long corridor.
Step. Step.
He was moments away from a private audience with Immortal—the bank's most distinguished VIP, shrouded in countless rumors.
"Dammit, dammit, dammit..."
Long before gaining fame as a tycoon, Immortal had been the unrivaled ruler who terrorized the entire Abyss.
Innumerable dimensions had fallen or submitted to his 'Army of the Dead.'
Even absolute beings across dimensions had knelt or perished before him, unable to stand as his equals.
Even the proud gods of various nebulae feared him, referring to him as '■■■'—a fact known to all.
He had slain an Ancient Dragon only to resurrect it as a pet. He had plundered the World Tree and left it to wither.
But that wasn't all.
He was the dread sovereign who governed Anux from a throne carved from a Demon King's bones...
Even the primordial monsters that gods feared to face were torn apart effortlessly by him, earning him the title 'The Calamity Beyond Scale.'
"And those idiots downstairs failed to recognize such an esteemed guest, treating him like some trespasser they tried to shoo away..."
At this point, even if his head rolled today, no one would bat an eye at such a hopeless situation.
"Haaah..."
Stopping before an ornately decorated door, Kazan adjusted his attire and gazed solemnly at the plaque.
'VVIP Reception Room'
A luxurious space reserved only for the top 5% of clients across all branches.
Of course, the Earth branch—open for less than a few years—had no clients who qualified for this tier...
Making this Kazan's first time hosting a top-tier guest in the VVIP room.
'Who could have imagined our first VVIP guest would be Immortal, the ruler of a distant dimension...?'
Wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, he nervously knocked.
Knock. Knock.
The door opened, revealing the lavish interior of the 'VVIP Reception Room'—a product of massive investment.
The spacious, classically decorated room was gilded in polished gold, nearly blinding in its brilliance.
Every inch displayed original artworks by the Abyss's most renowned artists.
Yet.
None of those dazzling masterpieces could overshadow the man seated on the central sofa, sipping tea.
"You're the one in charge?"
Overwhelmed by his presence, Kazan swallowed dryly and instinctively dropped to his knees, bowing.
"O-O Great Immortal! Please, with your magnanimity as vast as the ocean, forgive this one offense of my foolish underlings failing to recognize you—"
Setting his teacup down gently, Kang-jun replied indifferently.
"Sure, things happen."
"Y-Your mercy humbles me..."
Stealing a glance at Kang-jun, Kazan marveled.
Had this been any other VIP, all hell would have broken loose.
Was this what they called 'the magnanimity of the victorious'?
"D-Does Immortal remember this lowly goblin, Kazan...?"
"Have we met?"
"W-We once had an audience in your imperial palace..."
"Ah, that was you?"
Kang-jun added casually, as if it were trivial.
"Anyway, I'd like to withdraw some of my deposit."
"If the amount isn't large, we can process it immediately."
"Let's start with about 1.5 billion in local currency."
"1.5 billion...?" Muttering, Kazan nodded readily.
"We'll prepare the full amount in cash for you to take on your way out."
From the sidelines, Bong-gu let out a soft "Whoa..." despite himself.
Truthfully, he hadn't believed Kang-jun's claim of having a sizable deposit.
How could anyone forget about that kind of money?
'What in the world is going on here...?'
Then, as if remembering something, Kang-jun added, "Oh, right."
"I'd also like to review the list of valuables I entrusted for safekeeping."
"Of course," Kazan replied deferentially.
"First, let me show you the vault where your items are stored."
Rising, he selected a key from the many hanging at his waist.
Inserting it into thin air, a clank echoed as a steel door materialized.
"Whoa..."
Though Bong-gu's awestruck expression bordered on comical, Kazan maintained a professional smile.
"I take it this is your first time seeing a 'Goblin Dimensional Vault,' attendant-nim?"
"Uh, y-yeah..."
"This is merely one of the ninety vaults under Immortal's ownership."
Grunting as he strained to turn the massive handle, Kazan added,
"It'll take some time to inspect everything."
With a metallic screech, the first vault door began to open.
A sacred, golden light spilled through the narrow gap, shimmering brilliantly.
"Whoa...!"
Unlike Bong-gu, who clapped both hands over his mouth in shock, Kang-jun didn't even glance at the contents.
"Check if there's an 'Elixir' among the entrusted items."
The moment he mentioned 'Elixir,' Bong-gu turned to stare at him.
Meeting his gaze, Kang-jun said flatly,
"If there is one, I'll give it to you."
"Huh...?"
"Don't get your hopes up yet—might not be there."
Now that he'd confirmed his treasures were intact in the goblin vaults, giving Bong-gu—who'd worked hard for him—an elixir was no big deal.
"One moment, please."
Murmuring an incantation, Kazan summoned a thick ledger with a soft poof.
Flip. Flip.
After scanning the pages, he bowed apologetically.
"G-Great Immortal, I regret to inform you no 'Elixir' is listed among the stored items..."
Bong-gu's hopeful expression instantly darkened.
"Hey, Bong-gu."
"Y-Yes, hyung-nim?"
"Stand tall."
Forcing an awkward smile, Bong-gu nodded stiffly.
Though his hope for an elixir had burst like a bubble...
Given how rare they were compared to demand, even hundreds of billions might not secure one.
He was genuinely moved that Kang-jun had offered so readily.
"A man shouldn't mope over something so trivial..."
"Hyung-nim, I'll serve you loyally until I die."
"I'll just revive you and keep using you, so don't worry."
As Kang-jun tapped the sofa armrest idly, he added,
"I'll buy you one."
"Huh?"
"I said I'll buy you one."
Turning to Kazan, he asked bluntly,
"How much?"
His tone was as casual as asking the price of fresh fish at a market.
"Given how prices skyrocket with each new listing, it's hard to say exactly..."
"Any available now?"
"None at present, but I've heard one will be auctioned in Manhattan a few months from now."
Adjusting his glasses, Kazan added cautiously,
"With many Earth tycoons eyeing it, the bidding will likely be fierce..."
"And?"
"None could match Immortal's wealth, nor would anyone dare scheme against you."
"Obviously."
"Thus, securing it should pose no difficulty."
Nodding in satisfaction, Kang-jun said,
"Good, I'll join the auction."
"Understood." Smoothly, Kazan continued,
"Great Immortal, with your signed authorization, I can handle all formalities for you."
"Fine." Rising from the sofa, Kang-jun asked,
"You normally handle these trivial tasks too?"
"For our highest-tier clients, we do far more."
Smiling obsequiously, Kazan added,
"Moreover, aren't you Immortal—the Abyss's most formidable Absolute One, called '■■■'? Even if you weren't a VIP, we'd obey any command."
Bong-gu, looking dazed, had question marks floating over his head.
'Even Hrimthur, the frost giant from the Calamity-grade gate, called hyung-nim that...'
What was that word '■■■' he could never quite hear?
Deciphering it might answer all his questions about Kang-jun.
Like where his unimaginable power and staggering wealth came from...