Chapter 137: Even the Absolute Being Is a First-Time Dad
Absolute One, First-Time Fatherhood Episode 137
A 'narrative' resonated throughout the Abyss.
『 It was known that Mjölnir, the divine weapon of thunder that none could withstand, could not even be grasped without the aid of another divine artifact... 』
『 Yet ■■■ lifted it with absurd ease and, with all his might, swung it—shattering Nug Yeb into countless fragments until it was utterly annihilated. 』
All the deities present could not hide their shock, their eyes darting between Kang-jun and the scattered remains of Nug Yeb—until, in that very moment—
"It's divine punishment."
Kang-jun's lips curled into a faint smile as he uttered those words in a chilling tone. The deities who had been silently watching the spectacle began to retreat...
『 To punish Jörmungandr, the serpent of the Asgard Star Cluster, he commanded the largest serpent in the worldview to swallow it whole... 』
『 To Hela, who governed Niflheim's underworld, he issued an irrevocable decree to take her own life, forcing her to commit suicide... 』
『 To punish Susanoo, the deity of the Takamagahara Star Cluster, he bound the god to a cliff, tore out his tongue, and erased him from existence. 』
These were the narratives that had been layered upon layers, one after another.
And now, atop them all, another tale was inscribed.
『 ■■■'s divine punishment spared no one—not even the Outer Entities known as the Great Old Ones could escape... 』
『 And so. 』
『 The merciless swing of Mjölnir, accompanied by a devastating thunderbolt, reduced its target to ashes in a gruesome moment of annihilation. 』
The next instant—
『 This shall be spread far and wide... 』
『 Passed down through generations... 』
『 The divine myth of ■■■'s retribution. 』
The once-flowing narrative came to an abrupt halt.
Ding—!
A familiar chime echoed in Kang-jun's ears.
[ The deity Nug Yeb of the Great Star Cluster Cthulhu has been annihilated. ]
[ You have contributed the most to Nug Yeb's annihilation. ]
[ You absorb a portion of Nug Yeb's narrative and divine power. ]
Even now, as fragments of Nug Yeb's divine power scattered like dissolving polygons, a portion of it flowed into Kang-jun.
A thick, ink-black divine power—so chaotic it instinctively evoked the word "abyss"—poured into him relentlessly, its texture sinister and repulsive.
Then—Ding!—another chime rang out, followed by a flurry of system messages flooding his vision.
[ The Formless Last Desolation of the Cthulhu Star Cluster has begun silently observing you. ]
[ The Formless Last Desolation of the Cthulhu Star Cluster interprets your actions as a declaration of war. ]
[ All deities belonging to the Great Star Cluster Cthulhu will now regard you as an enemy. ]
Though the matter had seemingly concluded, murmurs began to rise from all corners of the hall.
It was a cacophony of countless emotions tangled together.
"A Great Old One... obliterated in a single strike..."
Some were already intimidated by the sheer brutality of it.
"How does he plan to deal with the aftermath...?"
Others were gripped by fear at his reckless, fire-like temperament that disregarded all consequences...
"How could he do something so reckless—!"
The deities of Asgard, led by Thor, poured out words of concern...
"Damn, this guy's completely lost his mind."
The deity known by the epithet "Great Sage of Flower-Fruit Mountain" and a few others couldn't help but admire his audacity.
Reactions of all kinds erupted throughout the hall—until suddenly, someone burst into uproarious laughter.
"KHAHAHAHAHAHA—!"
The fire giant who yearned for destruction.
His true name—Surtr.
He sneered openly.
"I knew he was reckless, but to make enemies of all the Outer Gods of the Cthulhu Star Cluster—the very beings that make every deity in the Abyss tremble!"
Then he shouted again.
"He's bringing calamity upon himself—!"
Thor whipped his head around, glaring at Surtr with a growl-like voice as he began to reprimand him.
"Have you forgotten the rules of the banquet?"
Among the rules of the Celestial Banquet, the most crucial was the prohibition of conflict before the banquet's conclusion.
No disputes were permitted within the banquet hall for any reason, and even inciting conflict was strictly forbidden.
"Is it not the truth?"
Surtr grinned darkly.
"Ever since he started rampaging like a thunderstruck fool, relying solely on that holy epithet ■■■, I knew this day would come."
"You bastard—!"
"With this reckless act, he's turned all the Outer Entities into enemies! There's no way he'll escape a miserable fate now!"
At that moment, the deity known as the "Great Sage of Flower-Fruit Mountain" interjected.
"Blah, blah, blah—you sure love to hear yourself talk."
Surtr narrowed his eyes.
"You..."
The Great Sage smirked.
"If you keep making a fuss over nothing, I'll personally step in and crush your skull into paste, just like that Outer God."
"You—!"
"Just looking at loudmouths like you makes my blood boil. I can't stand it."
Surtr scoffed, glancing around at the gathered deities before sneering again.
"If making enemies of all the Outer Gods of the Cthulhu Star Cluster isn't a big deal, then what is?"
The Great Sage picked up the long, sturdy staff lying before him and retorted.
"Oh? Then shall I show you what a real big deal is?"
"Huh—?"
"Your skull getting smashed in would be a big deal."
The two deities glared at each other, their divine powers flaring—until...
"Lord Surtr..."
Loki, now blind and seated beside Surtr, whispered.
"Did I not lose both my beloved children and my eyes?"
"That was..."
"It was for the sake of Asgard's prophesied day of doom."
Loki pleaded quietly.
"Look at what's become of me. For the sake of that day... please, calm your rage..."
Surtr exhaled sharply, unable to suppress his fury, but after a moment of glaring at the Great Sage, he finally relented.
"Though I cannot fathom why you shield ■■■, the day will come when your recklessness brings ruin upon you."
Surtr turned away sharply and sat back down. The Great Sage stuck out his tongue mockingly.
"Tch, look who's talking..."
Surtr clenched his fists, forcing himself to steady his breathing as he slowly sorted through the chaotic thoughts in his mind.
Fine. Picking a fight with the Great Sage will only make things worse...
If it were some lesser deity, perhaps—but the "Great Sage of Flower-Fruit Mountain" was infamous for his fierce and stubborn temperament.
Antagonizing him would bring nothing but trouble.
This world is full of insufferable bastards...
Just as Surtr forced himself to calm down and turned to sit—
"Hey."
A burly, muscular deity with horns protruding from his head—known by the epithet Pingtian Dasheng—spoke up.
"Why'd you step in?"
The Great Sage shrugged lightly and answered in a low voice.
"I like ■■■."
"What about him?"
"For starters, he's got guts, just like me."
The Great Sage chuckled before adding—
"Everyone else was pissing themselves at the mention of the Outer Gods, but he just went and split their skulls open like it was nothing..."
At those words, the deity bearing the epithet "Great Sage Equal to Heaven" shook his head in apparent confusion—just as the officiant on the podium solemnly declared:
- This is a warning!
B- Both the Flame Giant who desires destruction and the ruler of Huaguoshan are equally bound by this.
- During the duration of the Celestial Banquet, all forms of conflict are strictly prohibited.
- Since there is no way you could be unaware of this rule, both of you now have one warning each!
Then, turning to Kang-jun, the officiant added:
- ■■■, you also receive one warning.
"Huh?"
- For instigating the conflict!
Kang-jun replied in a low voice:
"Such a stickler for rules."
- As per protocol...
"Anyway, I'm done sharing my thoughts."
The officiant, shaking his head as if unable to comprehend, feigned solemnity and shouted, "Silence!" before continuing:
- With that, we conclude the official announcements.
After a brief pause, the officiant glanced at the cue card in his hand and spoke again:
- We will now relay the Creator God's message to certain deities. Those whose names are called, please come forward to the podium.
- The Flame Giant who desires destruction, deity of the Asgard Star Cluster, and likewise the deity of Asgard known as the Stitched-Mouth Giant...
- As for the rest of the honored deities, we humbly ask that you enjoy the food and wine prepared by the organizers.
The officiant concluded:
- With this, we bring the 'Celestial Banquet,' held to celebrate the world's narrative entering the Gi phase, to a close.
As soon as the summoned Surtr and Loki stepped onto the podium, the officiant continued in a subdued tone:
"With the world's narrative entering the Gi phase, the primary setting designated by the Creator God has undergone a change."
"The primary setting, you say?"
"By the Creator God's decree, the world's main setting has shifted from the 16th Dimension, Anux, to the 129th Dimension—Earth."
The officiant added:
"Thus, until the world's narrative reaches the next phase, all major events will unfold on Earth..."
The officiant's gaze lingered on Surtr and Loki's faces for a moment.
"We ask that the two deities responsible for the Gi phase's pivotal narrative keep this in mind."
At this, Surtr's expression brightened.
"Earth...?"
Wasn't that ■■■'s dimension?
"How intriguing..."
If Earth was now the stage for Asgard's prophesied doom—the very reason for Surtr's existence as a deity...
"Truly..."
Surtr muttered under his breath, his eyes drifting toward Kang-jun's profile in the distance, where he sat among Asgard's deities.
"I wonder if that arrogant face will remain so smug after his dimension is reduced to rubble in Ragnarök..."
Unlike Surtr, Loki couldn't hide his bewilderment and stammered:
"Shouldn't we be concerned that things are veering in an unforeseen direction...?"
"Hm?"
"What if ■■■ intervenes on their side simply because Earth is Ragnarök's battleground...?"
Surtr scoffed.
"You see one thing but miss the bigger picture."
"Eh?"
"■■■ has made a grave mistake."
Loki whispered back:
"You don't mean...?"
A brief silence followed.
"Have you never heard the saying, 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'?"
"You intend to enlist the deities of Cthulhu?"
"With the Outer Entities' aid, this will be resolved cleanly."
If ■■■ chose to fight alongside Asgard's forces, they could simply turn to the Watching Eyes for assistance.
"Thanks to that fool's ignorance in making an enemy of ■■■■, things just got easier."
A vile smirk curled at the corners of his lips.
Only after the scheduled proceedings concluded did the banquet truly begin to resemble its name.
Though deities were not subject to hunger, many still indulged in gourmet delights, and the clinking of wine glasses filled the air with crisp, ringing tones.
Kang-jun was no exception.
At the repeated requests of Asgard's deities, he joined them at their table, sharing a meal and light drinks.
"Does this even make sense?"
Kang-jun, who had been dominating the conversation, swiped through his smartphone, showing it to each of Asgard's deities in turn before adding:
"How can anyone be this adorable?"
On the screen, photos of Seol-i flickered past like a slideshow.
Since the banquet officially began, Kang-jun had spent hours tirelessly extolling his daughter's cuteness.
Then, suddenly—
A loud "Boom!" echoed from across the hall, followed by booming shouts.
"I'm definitely the elder brother!"
"Absolutely not!"
"Listen here, I am the elder brother!"
"Explain yourself!"
All eyes turned toward the commotion...
"What's this?"
Kang-jun, too, quietly observed the two deities shouting at each other in the distance.
It was a clash between the deity bearing the epithet "Ruler of Huaguoshan" and the one known as "Great Sage Equal to Heaven."
"The quicker one should be the elder brother!" shouted the Ruler of Huaguoshan.
"Nonsense! The one with thicker thighs should take the title!" the Great Sage shot back.
"What a pair of idiots..."
Kang-jun smirked faintly under his breath.
Their squabble over who should be the elder brother was downright comical.
Even deities lose their composure after a few drinks, it seems.
Just as he took another sip of wine—
"This pointless bickering gets us nowhere! Let's settle it like this!"
The Ruler of Huaguoshan, as if struck by inspiration, declared triumphantly:
"Why don't we let a deity we both respect decide? Whoever they name shall be the elder brother!"
The Great Sage roared:
"Fine! But swear you'll abide by their decision without question!"
"I swear on all of Huaguoshan's inhabitants!"
"And I swear upon all my accumulated deeds and narratives—I shall obey their word!"
The two deities then scanned the room, their sharp eyes darting around in search of a suitable arbiter...
Most tried to avoid their gaze, unwilling to be dragged into the mess—until their eyes landed on Kang-jun.
"That one will do!"
"Agreed!"
"Let's ask him!"
As the two deities marched toward him, Thor, seated beside Kang-jun, shook his head and muttered:
"Looks like you've been roped into something troublesome."
After a brief explanation from the Ruler of Huaguoshan, the deity asked with utmost gravity:
"Who do you think should be the elder brother?"
Kang-jun tilted his head slightly.
"You'll both really abide by my decision?"
The two deities nodded fervently, swearing again:
"We pledge upon all our accumulated narratives!"
"Whoever you name, we shall acknowledge as our elder brother!"
After a moment's thought, Kang-jun murmured:
"Such a trivial matter..."
But the two deities pressed him:
"Speak now!"
"Out with it!"
Kang-jun opened his mouth.
"Why not just..."
A brief silence.
"Both of you become my little brothers."
The two deities blinked.
"...What?"
Kang-jun pointed at himself with his thumb.
"Fair's fair—I'll be the elder brother."
Stunned silence.
"Wha—how...?"
"Good heavens...!"
It dawned on them—
"We pledge upon all our accumulated narratives!"
"Whoever you name, we shall acknowledge as our elder brother!"
They had sworn an irrevocable oath.
"Sigh."
With that, the two deities simultaneously dropped to their knees and bowed deeply to Kang-jun.
"The Ruler of Huaguoshan, Great Sage Sun Wukong, pays respects to his elder brother..."
"The deity bearing the epithet 'Great Sage Equal to Heaven,' the Bull Demon King, bows before his elder brother..."
Kang-jun, taken aback, asked:
"Wait—you're actually accepting me as your elder brother?"