Chapter 6
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 006
Chapter Title: The Mole on the Shoulder #1
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Sometimes good things come all at once in life.
That's exactly what's happening to me right now.
Earned a ton of Ether.
Tried some cola.
Touched gold coins for the first time in my life.
On top of that, I learned even knights who train their whole bodies can't toughen up their balls.
Young master Felix was clutching his groin, crawling across the floor.
"Nuuuugh..."
"What?"
"My gold coins... give 'em back, you bastard! If you're not gonna run...!"
"Ever seen a lion spit out the meat in its mouth?"
"L-Lion..."
"That's me. Money that's in my pocket is mine. If you wanted it back, you shouldn't have dropped it on the floor in the first place."
"Ugh..."
In the end, Felix foamed at the mouth and collapsed.
I did hit him pretty hard, but not hard enough to knock him out.
'Maybe because I leveled up.'
My level 4, raised by spending Ether.
Maybe my strength has grown more than I realized.
"Paying you back with one punch was fine and all."
You hit me once, I hit you back once.
Simple arithmetic even a kid could understand.
Up to that point, sure.
But I didn't mean to knock him out.
Kind Mr. Hammer said this guy's gonna be my teammate, hunting Ether with me from now on.
My roommate, sharing the same room.
What good would come from knocking out a guy like that?
He already looked like he was grinding his teeth, dying to kick me out.
Build up too much resentment, and your nape starts to tingle.
"Eh, no helping it."
There's a training ground and strategy room in the Great Wall.
Plenty of chances for people to get hurt, so there must be an infirmary and doctors.
I decided to call a doctor to treat Felix right in front of me.
"Tch, being too nice is one of my flaws."
Creak-.
So I left the room and wandered the halls.
But this huge facility seemed empty except for us, the halls all echoey and hollow, making the infirmary hard to find.
After walking a few minutes...
「Great Archive」
A place that had absolutely nothing to do with me appeared.
Light leaked from the slightly open door, and the flutter of pages seeped out, hinting at someone inside.
Creak-.
I opened the door and stepped in, hit by the thick smell of ink and paper.
"What the hell, so many books..."
I picked up an oil lamp nearby and shone it around, spotting a girl sitting on a pile of books stacked like a chair.
Hermit, in her pointed hat.
"Hey, where's the infirmary?"
"...Ack!"
She jumped!
Crash!
My simple question startled her like a rat caught raiding a rice sack.
Books toppled, and Hermit fell flat on her butt.
"Why so jumpy? Up to no good or something?"
"No good stuff is what you were doing. Sneaking up without a sound..."
Hermit glanced at me warily and grabbed her staff.
Her grip turned her knuckles white, tension maxed out.
If things went south, she'd probably whack me with that staff.
Or maybe I'd get to see some 'magic' up close.
"Rookie, what're you doing here?"
"What're you doing here?" "Looking at books. You said the idol you made a deal with was Ashibar, right? Thought maybe it'd be in the Idol Compendium, but no dice." Hermit held a massive tome titled Idol Compendium. Not my taste at all.
I can barely stomach books with dirty pictures.
Anything else puts me to sleep fast.
"The idol Ashibar you contracted with is probably one of two types. Either too dangerous to record here, tabooed out of existence. Or too insignificant to bother noting."
"Which is better?"
"The insignificant ones. Contracting with them just wastes Ether. Folks who've tangled with taboo idols? Their stories usually end ugly."
She squeezed her arm tight.
Like she knew something.
"Hermit, you contract with one of those taboo idols and get a blessing?"
"That's... a secret. Best not to blab who your idol is. It becomes a weakness. Blessings aren't all-powerful."
Weakness?
Didn't know that.
Gotta watch my mouth from now on.
The conversation died.
Awkward silence.
Suddenly wondered what to chat about with girls.
What would I talk about if I'd dated normally?
While I pondered, Hermit spoke up.
"You, you grabbed that weird thing from the campfire earlier, right?"
"Oh, this."
I pulled the half-empty cola can from my pocket.
Too bad to toss it.
"Never seen anything like it. Seems like a sealed liquid container, finely crafted. Maybe from before the 'War of the Night'? Right?"
"No clue what you're on about."
"The War of the Night. The war where His Imperial Majesty fought the demons. Back then, the empire's lands were vast, tech and magic way more advanced than now."
Hermit launched into a long explanation.
Boring as hell, but summed up:
The old empire might've had cola.
Night Land's full of old empire ruins and treasures, a nice side gig for blessed explorers cashing in.
Just thinking of turning it all into money had me grinning.
But...
Forgot something?
Ah-.
"So, Hermit, where's the infirmary?"
"Why the infirmary? Someone hurt?"
"Felix clocked me, so I paid him back. Guy foams at the mouth and passes out after a nut shot. Figured no big deal, but just in case."
"B-Ba... Bal..."
Hermit froze like a mouse spotting a cat.
She fiddled with her hat, hesitated, then spun on her heel.
"No infirmary. We borrow priests from the next unit instead. Istar over there knows healing prayers. Fixes most wounds quick."
"Ooooh."
"But it costs Ether. Varies by injury, but even basic checkup's ten thousand Ether. That's what you get with other units' priests."
What?
Ten thousand Ether for a checkup?
Straight robbery.
"That healing prayer's like magic, right? Can't you do it, Hermit?"
"Nope. Prayers and magic are different."
"How?"
"Sharp question."
Hermit narrowed her sparkling eyes under the hat.
She dusted off a dusty book from the pile and handed it over.
Title:
The Key to Magic and Prayer
Mysterious title.
Flipped it open, decent naked girl drawings.
"If you're a magic newbie, this'll answer most of your questions."
"Whoa, it got your age in it? That's what I'm dying to know."
"Seventeen."
"For real? Young."
"I know. Young for a mage. But don't underestimate me. Unlike street magicians, I graduated the Magic Tower. This hat's proof."
Full of pride.
And a warning.
Don't mess with someone like me.
"So where do I find this priest?"
"Not tonight. Nighttime exchanges with other units are banned. Rule from thieves plotting every night."
Heh-heh, too bad.
Sorry, Felix, but I tried my best!
Back in the room, Felix was doing push-ups.
On his thumbs alone, eventually one hand on his back, bending his arm.
Then he arched his back like a shrimp, lifted his legs high, and did a handstand on one thumb.
After that, weird hip twists, torturing his body like a gymnast on steroids, circus-level stuff.
"Whoa, how do you even...?"
Clap clap clap-.
Pure admiration from me.
Felix wiped sweat from his brow with the towel around his neck, casual.
"Training every joint and unused muscle so I can swing a sword from any position. Lets me counter surprise attacks from behind."
Sure enough, slaughter-machine knights are forged in extreme self-torture.
Back-alley thugs couldn't dream of it.
"For all that, couldn't block a low punch?"
"...Won't happen twice."
"Real fight, ends in one, no?"
"...Fair point. I'm still lacking."
Surprisingly agreeable, Felix resumed his bizarre acrobatics, sweating buckets.
I tried a few poses, but boring and tiring, quit.
Good he's fine, though.
Moving like that, no need for a priest.
Saved ten thousand Ether in fees.
How many cola cans is ten thousand Ether?
Wish I was a 'doctor' or 'priest' instead of a thief.
That's why moms push medicine.
If I meet the right idol and snag a prayer blessing, could I switch to priest?
Thinking that, I opened the book from Hermit.
"That's the one Hermit picked?"
"Yeah."
"She's soft and naive, as you can tell. Spent years in the Magic Tower, clueless about the world, trusts too easy. That's her flaw."
"Figured."
I eyed the book.
Dense text made me drowsy, but maybe a path to more Ether, perked me up.
Watching me, Felix dropped a line.
"First thief I've seen reading."
"Knight family young master, huh? Only dealt with bookworms specializing in libraries and rare tomes. We call 'em book lice."
"Lice, huh. You have a nickname like that?"
"Me? Nut lice. Specialize in guys' balls."
"Urk."
Pfft-haha, Felix winced as I laughed.
To soothe him, I shoved a page his way.
"These naked girls. All got a star-shaped mole on the left shoulder. Same model?"
"No idea. Who notices that?"
Felix blushed, turned away sharp.
Pulled up the blanket.
"First party scout tomorrow. Sleep early."
First party scout.
Heart pounding like elementary school field trip eve.
But Felix added something better.
"Solar Birth Festival soon. Good results, and Lieutenant Colonel Ezekiel might visit the Great Wall for rewards herself. So hustle."
Lieutenant Colonel Ezekiel, my benefactor and a beauty.
Direct reward from her.
What kind?
Excitement killed sleep.