Chapter 15
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 015
Chapter Title: Thief! #1
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Germain had snatched my button away.
And now she was telling me to go find it myself?
My mouth went dry for no reason.
Because I'd seen her tuck it right between her breasts.
That cleavage had produced a scroll, too.
And now the button was stuffed in there.
It was like a magic pouch.
"What are you doing? What if someone comes? Hurry up."
This was a trap.
It was obvious trickery.
A pretty woman like Germain wouldn't just let anyone touch her chest that easily.
But still, a tiny "what if" kept looping in my head.
What if it was real?
So I slowly reached out and slipped my hand between those two massive mounds of flesh—
'Wh... what the hell is this...!?
The weight pressing into my palm made my brain short-circuit.
Warm and fluffy—
A bit damp, but I couldn't tell if it was sweat from my hand or hers.
But...
"...There's no button?"
"Did you look properly?"
"...Doesn't seem to be."
Germain's blue eyes curved into crescents.
In that moment, I instinctively knew I'd fallen right into the trap.
—You idiot! You got played!
That was her expression.
And right then—
Sring—.
The sharp tip of metal touched my throat.
"...Ack!?"
"I'll teach you three lessons. First one: Don't trust any woman behind the Wall."
Prick—.
A dagger? A long needle?
Something jabbed into my neck.
It forced me to pull back, finally escaping the fleshy trap.
It felt like I'd been in heaven and got kicked out.
"Second lesson: Don't trust your eyes. They're the biggest liars on a person's body."
Swish—.
Germain took a step back and opened her palm.
In it were two shiny golden buttons—not a dagger or needle.
"Huh?"
I swear one of them went right into her cleavage.
How the hell...?
Why was it in her hand—? It really felt like my eyes had lied to me.
"And the final third lesson— Hmm, maybe that's too soon."
Germain handed the two buttons back to me.
I was thinking what an odd sleight of hand it was.
"Hey, newbie. What are you doing over there?"
Someone shouted from afar.
I turned to see Hermit in her conical hat trudging down the hall.
I couldn't help but panic.
Because Hermit clearly wouldn't like seeing me meet with a Thieves' Guild member.
And I was acutely aware that I'd just been doing some seriously 'bad stuff.'
This feeling was a first.
Not even during freeloading sprees or jewel heists had I felt like this.
What just happened was seriously wrong, something I had to hide from others.
But the weirdest part came next.
Germain, who had been right in front of me, had vanished.
What?
Where to?
"What are you doing here? Looked like you were talking to someone."
Hermit approached and asked.
She glanced around, and her chest came into view.
Maybe because I'd just explored a grand canyon, hers looked like modest hills—and that let me relax a bit.
"Talking? Nah."
Germain's training was seriously impressive!
Me, calm in front of a woman.
Then Hermit eyed my hand.
"What's that scroll in your hand? Edelbyte's Erotic Scroll? Standing in front of the bathroom with that at this hour... You seriously..."
Hermit's face flushed red.
Then she whipped her head away.
"G... Go to bed early! Tomorrow's gear-fitting day!"
What the hell was her deal?
"Everyone, listen up! Forecast says the sun's rising over the Great Plains today! Yor, tell us about the Great Plains. You've been reading books lately, so you should know this much, right?"
"...Uh, a big plain?"
"Right, but why do you seem so out of it today? Snap to it! Didn't sleep last night doing something naughty? Kahaha!"
Thwack—!
Hammer smacked my shoulder with his palm.
I locked eyes with Hermit, who scowled from under her conical hat and whipped her gaze away.
What's her problem?
I thought we'd gotten friendly—she even pranked me during training the other day.
But with mood swings like that, I had no clue.
That's when Germain's lesson popped into my head.
—First lesson. Don't trust any woman behind the Wall.
Solid advice.
Women seemed friendly one second, then suddenly pissed the next—total wild cards.
Maybe all women were born thieves by nature.
That thought made every woman around me seem untrustworthy.
‘Can't trust Ezekiel who got me out of prison? Or mentor Estelle?’
Hold up—
Can't trust Germain either?
Then should I trust what she said about not trusting women, or not?
If it's something not to trust, then I shouldn't trust it—
Fuck, this is confusing as hell!
Anyway, we headed to the Great Plains.
True to the name, it was a vast open plain—no hills in sight, just pure openness that made my chest feel light.
Like a picnic. Felt great.
—Kweeek—!
—Pweek—!
Except the Great Plains had flaming gazelles, so I couldn't just space out.
"Yor, try hunting some today. These guys are perfect practice—even level 5s can take 'em down. Just watch out for their tusks."
Today, I got to grip a blade and slice monsters myself.
The elks lunged with tusks to rip me apart—but—
"Slow."
Maybe level 8 made my body quicker.
Hammer whistled as he watched.
"Your agility's on par with Felix at level 15? But you're weak on strength, so aim for vitals like throat, eyes, heart."
Pop-pop-pop—!
I stabbed throats, eyes, and hearts with decent skill, hunting elks.
Averaged two hits to kill, one if lucky.
"Damn, Yor's a natural fighter? Solid backup material."
Hammer's praise tickled my nose.
Do I have talent?
Estelle wanted me as a disciple, and Germain seemed keen too?
Maybe I had some real gift.
Talent for murder.
Talent to become a ruthless lord of the night—
Then Hermit shouted.
"[Lightning Shower]—!"
Kwarararack—!
Lightning poured from a clear sky in an instant.
Dozens of elks turned to ash.
"......"
I was speechless.
My talk of 'talent' felt retarded now.
Thief class was trash.
Fuck, wish I was a mage.
Oblivious, Hermit busied herself picking up tusks.
"Wow, Ether and drops every time an elk dies. Picking these up is harder than killing them."
True.
「+100 Ether」
「+100 Ether」
「Wild Elk Tusk: Utterly useless.」
"Hammer, no pet to pick up Ether and drops for us? My back's gonna break first."
"A pet for loot? Yor, you say the wildest shit sometimes. If one existed, we'd have it already."
"Newbie, you mean a familiar?"
Hermit asked.
But when our eyes met, she blushed and bolted.
She starts the convo, then runs.
What a pain.
Our hunt wrapped up.
Total Ether: 1.2 million.
300k each.
"Damn! Half a day of Wild Elks nets this much? Other parties would lose it. But... keep it secret for now."
Hammer patted my shoulder.
"Plenty of jealous bastards behind the Wall."
Fair point.
I planned to dump my 300k Ether straight into gear.
"Yor, want a reliable smith rec?"
Hammer offered.
But I shook my head.
"Got a place in mind."
Thief gear from the Thieves' Guild, obviously.
So I slipped into the Wall's sewers to contact them, away from prying eyes.
Moldy stench was brutal, but weirdly addictive.
"Hey."
I found a stall piled with junk.
"Got thief gear?"
"No. Scram."
The guy with a hook hand glared—shady face screamed legit.
Rule for rough bandits: always missing a hand or foot.
"Everything here's 100k Ether a pop. Remember that."
Junk everywhere.
Mostly stolen goods, probably.
Hence the decent stuff at dirt prices—can't sell legit.
‘Came to the right place.’
At 100k each, my 300k could snag finger-protecting gloves, shin guards, chest guard?
Shopping around, I spotted fingerless leather gloves.
They looked familiar.
Weren't these in the game?
Intrigued.
"Kid, that's too much for your level."
Clack—.
Someone grabbed my wrist as I reached.
"Wearing ill-fitting clothes just makes 'em baggy. Sorry, but I'll take this."
"What?"
Black-robed guy, my height—who's he calling kid?
"Instead, here's an address. Find the ‘Old Man.’ Suits you better."
"Hey, I saw it first—what's this bullshit—"
Huh?
Tried to argue, but he and the gloves were gone.
"Fuck, thief!"
Screamed in rage at losing my pick.
Shady heads popped up around.
"Who, me?"
"Calling me?"
"Me?"
Right—this was a den of thieves!
Lost interest without my prize.
Then spotted the note in my palm—from the glove thief.
「Sewer 5」.
Head there?
Felt like a scam.
Walk in and get bashed by club-wielding goons?
But Germain sis said distrust women, not men—so maybe safe.
Went to Sewer 5: just a booze-soaked geezer sprawled out.
"You the Old Man? Some thief sent me here to find you."
"...Heh heh heh! That's me! Fresh-faced kid after new gear, eh? You look scrawny, but caught his eye—impressive!"
"You sell gear here?"
"What, blank stare? Didn't say a word, just sent you? Kid, know who you met?"
"Thief who stole my pick."
"Thief? Spot on."
Old Man's face darkened.
"That's the Sewer Emperor, Narakje himself! You caught his eye!"
"O, ooh...!? Lucky?"
"Ehehe, who knows— Anyway, check the gear. Used by Narakje himself—guaranteed effect, only 100 Ether."
Level 20 thief gear for 100 Ether?
Insane deal!
My brain nearly fried, then Old Man added:
"But you can only buy one. Narakje's sole rule when leaving these with me. Choose wisely."