Chapter 15
Chapter 15
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: Foundation Establishment (2)
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What is my deficiency?
Seoran pondered this while taking a bath.
Then, out of nowhere, she recalled the part of her body she had permanently lost.
Could it be?
She looked down, and her submerged lower half came into view.
In her previous life, there had been a sponge-like organ attached there.
But now, it was perfectly smooth.
Could an involuntary castration be the cause?
If so, there'd be no way to fix it.
No, that couldn't be right.
As far as Seoran was concerned, parting ways with that particular body part no longer held much significance.
Of course, it had been a massive shock in the early days of her reincarnation.
She had spent entire days fiddling with her crotch in denial of reality, even getting scolded for it.
But the pain of loss had long since faded.
Seoran sank back into her contemplation.
As the bathwater cooled, a shift in perspective struck her.
Obsession stems from deficiency.
So, if she figured out what she was obsessed with, wouldn't she uncover the deficiency too?
"Eureka!"
Seoran leaped out of the bathtub right away.
*****
Seoran immediately went around asking her acquaintances.
Her first target was Ho Hye-mun.
"Have you ever felt like I was overly obsessed or fixated on something?"
"Yes, I have."
Seoran was startled and asked,
"What obsession did you sense from me?"
"I sensed your fierce obsession with the Bone Fist Art! A technique that astonishing couldn't have been born without tremendous love. In that sense, Senior Sister Ryu's obsession with the Bone Fist Art is no different from lovesickness."
It was an opinion she simply couldn't accept.
No matter how she thought about it, it was just Senior Sister Ho's fantasy.
She had seemed like such an intelligent person at first.
Seoran headed to the next person.
"Have you ever felt like I was intensely obsessed or fixated on something?"
Yi Agum, who was wiping down a jar of herbs with a rag, replied,
"Yeah, I have."
Seoran's eyes lit up as she asked,
"Really? What?"
"You love training so much, sis. Up in the morning for meditation, martial arts practice in the training hall, physical conditioning after lunch, more meditation after dinner. Doing that much cultivation is a sickness, a total sickness."
After the lecture, Seoran pouted her lips like a duck's beak and grumbled.
"I'm not doing anything unusual... Don't most cultivators do that?"
Yi Agum nearly said she was the one who loved playing too much but held back.
"Nope. Why do you think the sect rules set aside one rest day every five days in the first place? It's so people can have hobbies and hang out with friends."
The Black Bamboo Sect gave its disciples one day off every five days.
Aside from the minimal duties required to run the sect, there were no chores or group training on that day.
They encouraged rest only on those days.
Yi Agum usually spent them playing with friends.
And every time, she had invited Seoran along, but Seoran always refused, saying she had to train.
For the record, Seoran hadn't taken a single day off since joining the Black Bamboo Sect.
Yi Agum kept pointing out Seoran's training addiction.
"I tell you this all the time, sis. Go gossip a bit, meet some people. How can anyone live cultivating nonstop without a single day off?
My mom said people get sick that way. You gotta go outside, get some sun, take a nap to stay healthy."
"Cultivators don't get sick."
Seoran protested meekly.
But it was like pouring oil on a fire.
Yi Agum stopped cleaning altogether and launched into a tirade.
"If you actually got sick, that'd be a blessing. At least then you'd realize something's wrong with your lifestyle. How can you fix a problem if you don't even know you have one? Cultivators ruin their health living like that too."
"I take my pills diligently, so it's fine."
"Read the room for once! And we need to confiscate all those pills! You don't even know what you're doing wrong!"
As Yi Agum started yelling at the top of her lungs, the startled Seoran fled in a hurry.
Once she was away from the Medicine Hall building, Seoran muttered to herself.
"Getting mad just because I won't play with her on days off. What a kid."
Seoran walked along, wondering who to ask next.
Then she stopped dead in her tracks.
There was no one else to go to.
An obsession even she herself was unaware of.
Someone who could point it out would need to have observed her for quite a while.
But the only people Seoran really talked to were Ho Hye-mun and Yi Agum.
No way. My social circle can't be that small.
There has to be someone else.
Think fast.
"Oh right, that person!"
Seoran dashed straight to the Martial Hall building.
The person she sought was Senior Brother Ma.
He was the Black Bamboo Sect's master of their secret body-tempering method, who had collaborated with her on modifying her physique over the past year.
When she posed the same question to him mid-workout, she got a similar response to the previous two.
He wasn't sure if it was ambition or obsession, but Seoran's determination during body tempering had been anything but ordinary.
Three people bore witness.
With three testimonies, Seoran had no choice but to admit the charge.
She trudged home with a gloomy face.
Am I really obsessed with cultivation?
Then maybe I should skip training for a day and just play.
The next day happened to be a rest day.
When Yi Agum showed up as usual to invite her out, Seoran nodded.
Seeing Yi Agum's beaming smile made her feel a twinge of guilt.
Yeah, even if it's not for enlightenment, I should hang out more from now on.
With that resolve, they arrived at the stream.
The little girls, who had become fans of the now-famous Seoran after the friendly tournament, cheered with delight.
Yi Agum was thrilled to be playing with her favorite big sister.
But the one having the most fun was Ryu Seoran.
She was the most excited, skipping meals to splash around in the water.
It wasn't until sunset that Seoran finally climbed out.
They promised to play together again on the next rest day, and Seoran parted ways with the kids.
The water play had been truly fun.
The children's praise for her swimming skills felt great too.
Lying in bed, savoring the happy afterglow, a certain memory flashed through Seoran's mind.
*****
It was a memory from her previous life.
Specifically, from an elementary school art class.
The theme had been clay crafting.
"Oh my, is this a penguin?"
"Yes, Teacher."
"You did such a great job. Can I take a photo and put it in the school newspaper?"
"Sure!"
And so, Seoran's clay penguin ended up featured prominently in the school newspaper.
The penguin Seoran made was incredibly well-crafted.
It wasn't just good for an elementary student; even by adult standards, it showed real aesthetic sense.
It was undoubtedly a glimpse of talent.
Every student and teacher she passed showered her with endless praise.
Her heart raced at their mix of curiosity and amazement, keeping her awake that night.
Of course, the attention didn't last long and soon faded.
It was truly just a single drop.
But it was enough to sprout a parched seed.
The boy, neglected and withering amid poverty and his parents' fights, germinated from that tiny trigger.
His introverted nature remained, but he became a bit more proactive.
He studied, went to college, got a job.
Earned top grades, attended a prestigious university, joined a major corporation.
People praised his competitive spirit and drive for self-improvement.
Even Seoran herself believed what drove her was that competitive spirit and ambition.
But what she truly craved wasn't the victories won through fierce competition or rises in social status.
At its core, what had changed the boy was the attention wrapped in that homeroom teacher's single word of praise.
In a trance, Seoran ran through questions and answers with herself.
Why did I resolve to become a virtuous person?
Because I wanted to be someone precious.
Why did I throw myself into cultivation without a single day off after joining the Black Bamboo Sect?
Because everyone praised me as the sect's future.
Why did I volunteer for such grueling body tempering?
To prove I was stronger than a wooden puppet.
Why did I push through the preliminaries without giving up?
I didn't want to disappoint the voices cheering for me.
Why did I endure the pain through consecutive matches?
To fulfill everyone's earnest hopes.
Why wasn't I regretful about losing in the end?
Because victory wasn't my goal to begin with.
Why did I try so hard?
Because I thought they'd praise me.
Because I thought they'd pay attention to me.
Because I thought they'd love me.
The boy had suffered from deficiency his entire life.
Even as he surged ahead in society, outpacing rivals, that thirst went unquenched.
He wanted to fill the emptiness inside.
He hungered for what his parents had never given him as a child.
That longing didn't vanish when the boy was reborn as a girl.
Seoran still wanted love.
She wanted nothing but love.
In that moment, she felt something inside her click into place.
Spiritual energy flooded the room from all directions.
Shattering the wooden window frame and hurling furnishings aside, it swirled like a storm before turning into flames that engulfed Seoran.
And the clay shaped by the boy and the girl transformed into fine porcelain.
Dawn broke, and Seoran finally reached Foundation Establishment.