Disciplining the Impudent Sword
"Um, Eugene."
"Yep."
"Did you perhaps... destroy the Back Alley?"
"Yep!"
"And you stole these documents?"
"Yep! Posed as a member of a great noble house to get in!"
Nipella Aoman felt a wave of dizziness wash over him.
He propped his chin on his hand, forehead resting against his palm. He desperately hoped what he'd just heard was a lie.
He'd figured Eugene had caught some low-level Back Alley thug at most... but he'd flipped the whole damn hideout? What kind of balls did it take to pull that off?
'Even as a priest of the War God...'
This crossed a serious line, didn't it? It wasn't like some penny-pinching school denying coats in a blizzard.
He'd heard of places that made kids wear summer uniforms even in the dead of winter because "plain clothes look delinquent." What a load of bullshit.
Did they think dressing properly made you elite? Nah, just petty power-tripping.
Mai uniforms? Make 'em worth the price with good insulation and mobility first. Those things were expensive rags that didn't keep you warm or let you move.
'Why am I getting worked up about this?'
Ugh. His inner thoughts had slipped out. He rubbed his brow and looked at Eugene.
What if Eugene had gone to a school like that?
'...I'd have razed it to the ground.'
Or bolted.
He was grateful Sky Academy had no dress code bullshit.
If it did, Eugene probably would've snapped and wrecked the place long ago. Just like the Back Alley.
"...At least you're not hurt?"
"Nope! Totally fine. They were all pushovers."
"..."
No way in hell they were pushovers.
But if Eugene said so, what could he do?
Honestly, it was a little scary. He'd seen Eugene hunt black mages before, but the scale was different then.
Taking on the entire Back Alley? That was leagues beyond some lone black mage punk.
'His skills must've improved...'
As a professor for second-years, he didn't cross paths with first-years much.
But that prickly young instructor Jayyan had dropped some subtle praise.
-The student you brought in, Professor Nipella? Not bad at all.
-Oh? Really?
-Yeah. He crushes the assignments I give, writes solid opinions, follows orders to a T. Oh, and that thing I showed you last time? His work.
-Sounds like you like him.
-I'm a professor. I don't play favorites.
-Never said you did.
-...
Even Eroy, the one who looked sweetest but had the worst temper, had slipped in some praise.
-That kid. Makes me jealous.
-Oh yeah?
-Watch out, Professor Nipella. I might steal him away.
-If Eugene chose it himself, I'd support it.
-...You're such an asshole.
-??
Eugene was drawing attention in all sorts of ways now.
Of course, the personality ed professor eyed him warily.
-That kid's not some extreme individualist, right?
-No.
-No personality issues?
-No.
-Last time I saw him, I couldn't handle him. Can't even scold the brat.
-Why worry about that? Eugene knows basic boundaries.
-If he crosses even those with me...
-...
"Anyway, Eugene. I'll handle cleanup. Go rest. Good work."
"Got it!! Oh, and if any info comes in..."
"I'll send it over. To your pet, right?"
"Yep. You can do that, yeah?"
-Why me...
"Here, a divine stone as thanks."
-Of course I'll do it!
"Now go. And don't make a racket heading to your room."
"Yep."
Let him crash first.
Nipella needed time to sort his head too. Overtime was daily anyway.
In the now-quiet office, Nipella pulled out a document, finally ready to sort papers in peace...
"Professor!! Breaking news!!!"
"?"
"The Back Alley flooded...!"
"..."
Wait, he didn't wreck it—he drowned it?
I dove straight onto the bed the second I hit the room. The soft bounce welcomed my body.
"Haa... finally alive, guh!"
-Whew! Nothing beats a bed!
Something slammed into my waist.
Damn Eodukshini!
I felt my back twinge and yeeted the slime off me.
-Eek!! You psycho! Sword here's sharp!
"You don't die anyway! Just behave..."
-After all that, and you call yourself my master...
Eodukshini and I bickered like usual, then both froze, eyes wide.
...Someone was curled shrimp-style on the sofa, sleeping.
"Sh, shh... sleeping..."
Messy blue hair, baggy white tee, priest robes draped like a blanket...
"...Why the hell is she sleeping here?"
Ash Blue.
She'd used my spare priest robes as a blanket, passed out on the sofa.
Why here? How'd she even get in?
-...Master. You two that close or something—
"Hey."
-?
"You've been with me most of the time, dumbass."
-True, but her being here doesn't add up...
"Tell me about it. I'm stumped too..."
No way Nipella meant "keep quiet" because of Ash?
"Mm."
I grabbed a spare blanket and draped it over her. She mumbled softly, shifting to a comfier spot.
Won't wake, right?
Girls get super sensitive on those days. Touch 'em then? Might as well beg for death.
Knock knock knock!
Someone at the door.
Who?
I flung it open. There stood Adria Madcond with her hair in a tight ponytail, and Jenella looking lost beside her.
Adria had a pouty, pissed-off face.
"Sneaking off without me, just you two—no, three—having fun? Bet it was a bla—"
Adria's words trailed off. Jenella peeked in like what's going on? and froze solid.
"Uh, uh... s-sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"N-no, uh, n-nothing... h-had a good time..."
No way they misread Ash?
I grabbed their wrists.
"Ah!! Let—ow. Come in first."
"No, you two were having a good time..."
"We weren't!"
It took two hours just to explain. Then Ash woke from the noise, and we did homework together.
"Everyone submitted properly. Here's the next assignment."
"..."
Copy-paste bug, fuck.
Mentally fried, I headed to the next class.
Basic Swordsmanship Lecture. Light run today, then smack down charging Yahan Horain. He'd started with the worst rep, but now he was tolerable.
At least not like the Arishion trash!
"Gah!"
"Head! Watch it!"
"You maniac!!!"
"Mad? Beat me then."
"Why're you even stronger now!!!"
"Training and real fights, rookie."
Having fun pounding Yahan when Professor Eroy clapped, drawing eyes.
"Today's lesson: weapons. Grab your issued ones."
I pulled my sword—gems embedded, super unique. Drew stares.
"What? Wanna test how sharp it is?"
Translation: Eyes down before I test it on you punks.
Smart kids looked away sharpish.
Eroy didn't intervene, continued crisply.
"Every weapon has unique abilities. If you brought your own without one, swap for another. Today: identify and use yours. Follow my lead."
Students gripped swords.
"Infuse mana, talk to it. It'll ring its name. Ringing means it has ego. Listen close. Dominate if you can—egos are nasty little shits. Think bratty elementary kid."
Sword's voice? I pumped divine power in, focused.
-Asshole.
I heard it. But...
-Asshooooole! Thinks he's hot shit! Making your master cry blood tears, you flaming filial piety fake...! Ha! Won't hear me anyway? Taste this...
What the fuck?
Sword tried jerking from my hand—I gripped harder.
-Huh?
"I hear every word, you little shit."
Daring to curse me?
I slammed the flat against my knee without hesitation.
Claaang!
-Aaaaack!
Sudden voice was weird, but whatever.
Ego? This sword had to have one. It withstood amplification stacking, air warping around it.
No ego would've been weirder. Didn't expect this personality!
"Wanna die?"
-Sorry! Sorry! Thought you couldn't hear! Normals can't!
Young voice, but no pity.
Cheeky bastard.
Daring to curse? I'll end it.
"How old are you?"
-Dunno... mental age stuck at 13...
"Kid, huh? Then why curse me? You've pissed me off before too. Talking back, overamping on your own. Right?"
-Th-that was... your control sucked...
"Yes or no."
-Yes...
Not my usual style, but needed to break it early. Plus, grudge from forest scuffle—forehead still smarted.
"Nope."
-?
"Eodukshini. Fetch."
-On it!
Waiting slime brought a rock loyally.
I scanned around.
Everyone focused on awakening egos; some fought theirs.
-Wh-what're you—
"What else."
No eyes on us.
Laid sword on rock, aimed stone.
-W-wait...
Clack!
-Ow!
"Manners!"
Clack!
"Humans!"
Clack!!
"Made you!"
Clack!!!
Few hard whacks, sword surrendered.
-Sorry! No more bullshit! Ow! Hurts! Not there! Solar plexus! Aaa!
"Pretty words only from now. You okay?"
-I'm okay! Stop! Please!
"English whiz, huh?"
-Your weapon anyway... trained by master beforehand...
"Who's master?"
-War God Arcana.
What? Divine artifact then?
"You divine?"
-Nah? Below that. Bit better than national treasure...
What even. Not divine, got it.
-Was buried treasure, found by your senior. Hung out long, got buffs. Dwarves upgraded, piled achievements! Even slayed a dragon before burial!
Poor dragon. Combat meter everywhere.
"Why's Ar...cana master?"
-Why cut off...
"Answer. Or else."
-Eek! No! Arcana awakened my ego, made me near-Holy Sword! So she's master!
"Cool. So?"
-Huh?
"Still a rude shit, yes or no."
-Y-yes... Wait! Hold! No hits! Skip chat now, months to recover! Curious 'bout my specs?
Paused mid-whack. Specs? Hidden stuff?
"Like what?"
Stone down, sword spilled fast.
-Basics: split-amp divine power 1st/2nd stage. Record manipulation, divine recharge!
"News to me."
-Right! Record manip: tweaks info on you when swung. Fucks pursuers. Recharge: fast divine recovery/supply! Never ran low since grabbing me?
"...True."
Early on, divine power drained.
With this sword? Forgot it even depleted—too seamless.
-Senior called me backup battery...
"Battery it is."
-Nooo!! Name's Black Obsidian Sword! Badass name!
"Edgelord? Brat not grown up. Nope. You're Battery, Zippy."
-Sorry! No bullshit! Don't call me battery pleeease!
Okay. Now Auxiliary Device.
-Ughheeeeng! Nooooo!
Yes.
Nicknaming itself? Begging to be called that.
Voice too squeaky, childish. Perfect brat—disrespectful, ignores orders.
Made me wanna smack more. Person? Assault. Sword? Nah.
"...What're you doing?"
"...What is that?"
"What else. Beating manners into this rude sword."
Dusty Mosik Karma and Yahan stared like I'd lost it, watching me play whack-a-sword.
What.
What?!