Where Am I? Who Am I?
I blankly scanned my surroundings. Cars powered by mana as fuel, hot-air balloons soaring through the sky on magical energy… No matter how I looked at it, this wasn’t the fantasy world I’d imagined.
…Isn’t this Earth?
This was pretty damn close, wasn’t it?
No, wait. There were no skyscrapers, TVs, or smartphones, so maybe just before modern times?
“Hey, wanna hit the gym?”
“Today’s shoulder day. Check out these boulder shoulders on your big bro!”
Gyms too?!
At this rate… it felt like they were on the verge of catching up to Earth civilization, just heading in a different direction with magic and aura.
This is the downtown area, not even the capital…
This was Karma Territory. I still had nearly three weeks until Sky Academy enrollment, and I planned to take my time touring the empire in the meantime.
Plus, Count Karma wanted to see me first thing.
“Are you alright?”
As I stood there dazed, taking it all in, Nipella Aoman approached with a worried look.
She’d seemed a bit scared of me at first, but she’d gotten over it quick and was back to her usual self.
Good thing. Otherwise… hmm.
I might’ve lost it once and trashed the place.
“Ah, yeah. I’m fine.”
“First, we’ll get your ID here, then head to the bank to open an account. That alright with you?”
Who’d have thought I’d hear that in another world?
But I was a man from Earth.
No way something like that would faze me.
“Since you don’t have an ID, we’ll go to the guild for a face scan and Divine Power check, then meet your proxy, and after that to the bank for a consultation to open the account with the new ID…”
…Yeah, I’d been through that moment too.
In the end, we left it to the expert.
Earth man my ass.
Now that I was in this world, I was a local.
Three hours later, I stumbled out, completely drained.
A bankbook was clutched in my right hand.
“Ah… that was rough.”
“Well, you’ve been holed up in the forest all this time.”
Nipella gave a wry smile.
It hit too close to home, but I felt wronged anyway.
Did I look like some country bumpkin?
Wait, I kinda did?
Fine, whatever.
“So, when do I get to meet the count?”
“Probably around dinner. He’s got his own work, after all. Hmm, shall we tour the city a bit more in the meantime?”
First, there was somewhere I had to go.
A place I’d sworn—no, resolved—to hit up the second I got to the city!
“Let’s grab some food. Samgyeopsal if possible. Hold up, they got that here?”
“Yes, of course.”
Phew, good.
“…But didn’t you just eat before parting with Linehit, the knights, soldiers, and Priest Marin?”
That had been a tiny portion. Barely a snack.
“That fill you up?”
“…You ate five servings.”
“That’s just standard.”
“Haha, true, knights eat a ton.”
“I’m a priest, though?”
“C’mon, I know a spot popular with knights. Let’s go.”
* * *
Sizzle!
Ssssss.
“…You can eat now.”
I glared at the pork belly sizzling on the grill like it was already dead meat, and the second Nipella gave the okay, I snatched a piece and shoved it in.
Dipped heavy in sauce like ssamjang, stuffed with rice.
“Grrraaah…”
“…Crying?! Are you crying?!”
God, I’d missed this taste so much. The rush from scarfing it down after buying it with cash from my underage part-time gig…
“Khrrrp…”
“…Don’t cry, just sip slo—wait, chew and swallow first! You don’t drink meat!”
I practically chugged the meat down. Or maybe inhaled it.
Screw it! If I couldn’t taste it fully, I’d just eat more to feel it twice as hard!
“Sniff, waaah… so good…”
Tears streaming from my eyes, meat flying into my mouth.
“How long’s it been since I had meat… guh-huhk…”
Sudden flood of memories.
Okay, not that long!
But I’d finally gotten to eat some, only for that damn crow to get deep-fried at dinner somehow, and no meat since…
“Stuck shoving that crap cooking I could never get right…”
My hands were so unskilled, everything I made was worse than fertilizer.
The only improvement came after ten straight years of grinding.
If Arcana had been the forest goddess, I might’ve gotten a crafting blessing, but nah—straight-up War God.
Guh. In novels, old monsters were always master chefs too.
“…Another ten servings here!”
“Right away!”
I was eating faster than they could pile it on.
Nipella was sweating bullets, flipping the meat.
“Twenty more servings out!”
“Thanks… Huh? Hanwoo?”
“Huh? Professor?”
Clunk. Nipella stared, surprised, at the ripped guy who’d set down his tray.
Acquaintance?
I slowed my chowing down a bit.
Nipella beamed and stuck out a hand.
“Long time! How’ve you been?”
“Haha, been slaving at part-time gigs to pay for homework and tuition—vacation’s over before I know it.”
“Don’t take it too hard. It’s ’cause I care. I’ll write you a rec letter for the Crimson Tower instead.”
“Loyalty forever!”
A mage? With those muscles, he could out-knight most knights.
“Anyway, who’s this?”
“Ah, the priest I owe a debt to.”
“Nice to meet ya. Hanwoo, student at Sky Academy. Call me Hanwoo, haha—tough to pronounce? Hanwoo’s fine.”
Hearing a familiar word in this world felt weird.
And he looked just like a buff cow, which made it weirder.
This world’s quirks: Earth-like, but not quite.
“Nice to meet you.”
“…You can talk after you finish eating.”
Gulp.
I swallowed the mouthful, wiped my mouth with a napkin, and offered a hand.
“Pleasure. Ox-like… nah, suits you perfect.”
“Ox? What’s that?”
“Dad said it’s a sturdy warrior from old folk myths.”
“Haha, thanks! Mind if I ask something, if it’s not rude?”
“Shoot.”
“You aiming to be a holy knight? Saw you packing away food like crazy…”
“Nah, just a priest. Physical type.”
I flexed, rolling up my sleeve to show bicep.
Hanwoo nodded with an unreadable expression—grin? Grimace?
“I, uh, see.”
Total disbelief. Whatever, not my problem.
“Gained some muscle and mana while I wasn’t looking, huh? Looking forward to next semester?”
“Haha… no pressure or anything.”
“This the knight hangout, right? Won’t this cause beef?”
“Yeah, that’s why it’s giving me a headache…”
BAM!
The door practically exploded open.
A pack of burly muscleheads stormed in.
“…Marne.”
Hanwoo muttered the leader’s name, face hardening.
Marne?
“Still slinging grub here?”
“How many?”
“Can’t count? Three! Fifty servings, now.”
“Yes sir. One moment.”
Hanwoo spun away, voice flat.
The other patrons ignored the racket—used to it, apparently.
Thud!
He plopped at the table next to ours and sneered openly.
“No pride? Just taking shit from assholes like that.”
At least self-aware.
“Right? Musclehead mage—fucking lame.”
Priests bulk up too—what’s the big deal?
“Ugly as sin.”
Ever seen a mirror?
Wanted to clap back at every line, but I held it.
No need to draw eyes.
And it wasn’t my fight.
“…That’s too far.”
Scrape!
Professor Nipella stood and strode over.
“Apologize.”
“What?”
“I said apologize. For those insults.”
“Why should I? Who the hell are you to order me?”
“Don’t you recognize me?”
“Why the fuck would I know your face?”
Nipella was in casuals, monocle off.
But anyone with half a brain would clock her.
Wait, maybe not that famous?
Everyone at the guild and bank had.
“Mage nerd got a hero complex? This is knight business—buzz off. Or want me to feed that kid’s meat to you?”
Kid?
My chopsticks froze mid-air, pork in clamp.
…Kid? Me?
“Gone quiet? Scared? That’s why you nerds suck.”
He popped a bottle cap with his finger from another server and chugged.
“Kyah!”
Face flushing with booze, he bellowed.
“Scared? Sit and chow down then fuck off!”
Marne hurled the bottle like a threat.
It smashed the table leg dead-on. Crack—table collapsed.
“No! My meat!”
I lunged to grab it, but the grilled perfection rained down.
Perfectly seared slices hit the floor. I swiped desperately, but meat without limbs couldn’t grab back.
Thud.
“…”
The dead meat met its second death.
“…My meat.”
“…We’re screwed.”
“What? Screwed? Read your future already? Too late—”
Grab.
I propped the table roughly, lurched up like a zombie, and seized Marne’s arm.
“Hey.”
“W-What the—?!”
“Bite down hard.”
Dare touch my meat!
I swung full force into his face.
Crunch!
“Gaaaargh!”
His mug crumpled like an empty can. Shattered teeth flew.
I shook blood off my hand and crooked a finger at his frozen pals.
“You two, c’mere.”
“S-Spare—!”
Crack!
* * *
The trio, faces swollen in harmony from face-punches, grilled meat.
I slung an arm over Marne’s shoulder, tapping his bicep with the other.
“Hey, do it again. It’s fine, I ain’t mad. Do what you said before, c’mon?”
“Sorry!!”
“Sorry? If sorry fixed it, why have cops, you punk? Grill it right?!”
Smack!
Red welt bloomed on his back.
Marne grilled on, tears beading, no scream.
“Crying? Huh?”
“No sir!”
“Repeat after me: I’m a pussy who can’t even beat a weak-ass priest.”
“I’m a pussy who can’t even beat a weak-ass priest!”
“You two, shout it. What, massage not hard enough? Wanna die for real?”
“I-I’m a pussy who can’t even beat a weak-ass priest!”
“H-How’s a priest got that strength…!”
Crack!
My napkin flew from my hand, slapping his face.
Nose exploded bloody; he toppled backward.
Tsk. I stood, tongue-clicking, and bowed to the other patrons.
“Sorry for the noise. Eat up, we’ll be out soon.”
“Hahaha! No worries! That was savage!”
“Hahaha! They were just weaklings! Keep going! We drunk knights start shit all the time anyway!”
Lady Arcana, the knights here are weird.
Anyway, with permission, I patted Marne’s arm.
“What’re you, anyway?”
“W-What?”
“What do you do? Got some balls ignoring people like that~.”
Marne clamped his mouth, flustered.
I pinched his arm hard; a tear dropped as he cracked.
“…Advanced to second-year at Sky Academy this year.”
Loud enough for all to hear.
“What, Sky Academy second-year?”
“Those trash from last intake? Figures! Bullying mages for no reason.”
Kuhahaha! Laughter erupted; his face burned crimson.
Nipella rubbed her temple, pained.
“…Embarrassing.”
“Not your fault, prof.”
“Not my students, but still embarrassing. Tarnishes the rep here.”
“Hey, prof’s embarrassed.”
“P-Prof…? I-I don’t recognize…”
“Speak clear, no stuttering.”
Smack!
I eyed Nipella after slapping his arm.
She sighed, sweeping her brow.
“Infamous bully at school. Knew the face, didn’t expect this outside…”
“How come he didn’t recognize his own prof?”
“Different year and major. I taught second-years back then, magic track.”
“S-Second-year prof…?!”
Marne went whiter than an onion.
“I’ll have words when you’re back.”
His soul fled at those final words.
Self-inflicted.
“Total mess.”
“…Last year’s intake advancing to second-year was low-tier. Skills and personality. Hence this… And seems common among knights.”
“W-What’s going on?”
Hanwoo finally clocked the scene.
“Oh, you’re back. Table’s busted—cool?”
“Y-Yeah, self-repair magic on it, no issue… But what the hell?”
Nipella sighed deep, approaching Hanwoo.
“Hanwoo, why part-time here? Why not tell me?”
“Knights eat huge amounts, right? Folks here got cash. Good hourly, and they love watching drunk knights brawl…”
“Even so…”
“Gym owner’s the boss here—free membership.”
Biggest reason, probably.
I chugged cola, slapping Marne’s arm.
“Hey. Apologize.”
“Sorry!!!”
He bowed ninety degrees, face puffy.
The sight cracked me up; I chuckled.
Hanwoo asked cautiously.
“…You’re really a priest?”
“Yeah. Why?”
I eyed him—what’s weird?—and he chuckled dryly, shaking his head.
“…Nothing.”