Torture! The Thrill of the Gym Entrance and "Love is Real Combat"
Standing next to the A-frame sign at the entrance to Goryeo Gym with Renea, I was waiting to greet the customers.
"Y-You're shaking."
Renea's outfit was properly styled for the occasion. That's the beauty of styling services. They could make even an elf who usually wore an apron and mopped floors look like a full-time employee. Our contract with the nearby clothing rental shop was paying off big time.
"What's there to shake about? Just stand next to me, bow politely, and smile. That's it."
"Isn't this lady finally performing meaningful duties as a full-time Meracle employee?"
"You've been slyly gunning for full-time status since last time, huh?"
"……."
Renea averted her eyes. Maybe it was because she was an elf so attuned to nature, but she was trying to seamlessly transition into full-time employee status.
"Meracle isn't that easy a company to join. We've grown quite a bit now."
"This lady works hard too!"
"You do unclog toilets like a pro."
"Mopping too! Swish-swish! You have to optimize your path so you don't step on the wet spots—!"
She rattled off her tips with a laugh, and surprisingly, there were quite a few. It was like old folks pulling wisdom from their bag of tricks.
"Oh, right, boss. How about we get some potted plants from the flower shop? You know, Raichen's girlfriend's place."
"Ah…… Wouldn't that be a hassle? Taking care of plants and all—."
"This lady is an elf."
"Hmm."
It would definitely brighten up the drab vibe with a few pots around. But……
"I kinda feel like you're just scheming to expand your role and snag full-time status."
"……."
She flinched, looking up at me with feigned innocence. I shrugged with a smirk that said I'd seen through her, and she grabbed my clothes, jumping up and down.
"Let's do it! Come on! This lady will take good care of them! Something calming that puts your mind at ease!"
"How much calmer can a few plants make you?"
I replied in disbelief, but Renea pressed on desperately.
"It's different from 3rd Floor plants! Elf-grown ones are on another level! The fruits we grow are bigger and tastier! The flowers are way more beautiful!"
"That's probably just the Lazesta Continent soil."
"What are you talking about?! It's because this lady grows them! This lady can feel the plants' emotions."
"……1,902 years old and hitting middle school syndrome."
Two years off 1,900 makes it middle school age, I guess. Talking to plants? Even for an elf, that seems impossible.
"It's true!"
"Look, Renea. If that's really possible, you shouldn't be here. Premium agriculture, pharma companies, smart farms—they'd be lining up to hire you."
Job offers would be overflowing. They'd probably roll out the red carpet.
"Hmph! Just you wait! This lady will buy a pot and show you later!"
"……."
Is she serious? Come to think of it, she has no reason to lie. I've been underestimating her because she's such a nuisance, but she is the Elf Queen.
'But if it's really true—.'
A flood of business ideas came to mind. Take the Cheongryeongdan pills I'd eaten—they used herbs in production. If elf powers accelerated growth or boosted potency? We'd get insanely effective elixirs.
And that's not all. Or rather, the opposite route.
If we dipped a toe into illegality? Elf-made drugs? We'd make a killing. A massive killing.
I swallowed hard, the saliva heavy in my throat. Society's problem child of an elf with real powers like that?
I looked back at Renea, who was pouting and grumbling, and asked.
"Renea, can all elves do that?"
"Believing me now? No, only special elves like this lady."
"……."
In my mind, the elf got downgraded right back to annoying stray cat level.
"Ahem, Renea. We'll grab a pot on the way back, so try it out. Got it?"
"You believe me! Got it! This lady doesn't lie! She's the Elf Queen!"
She thumped her chest proudly. Whatever, first things first—the event today.
Customers started arriving one by one, so we checked IDs and handed out name tags. Total of 40 participants. Even number, perfectly balanced male-female ratio. This ensured everyone got a partner.
"Hello, yes. Name tags here. Don't remove them."
"Here's the schedule! T-Take one!"
As Renea bustled around handing them out beside me, a male hunter glanced at her, smiled, and offered snacks.
"Working hard, huh? Looks good. How old are you?"
"It's been about half a year since I came down to the 3rd Floor!"
"Wow, impressive. Part-time gig?"
"Yep!"
"Eat up and keep it up."
"Yep! You too, oppa!"
"……."
After the hunter left, I stared at her in bewilderment, and Renea popped the snacks in her mouth smugly.
"That brat treating this lady so casually. These are tasty."
"……Didn't you just say you don't lie?"
"Getting treated as younger is always thrilling! It's always fresh! This lady loves being babied! Boss, you can call me casually too!"
"Sure, granny."
"No snacks for you!"
She shoved them all in her mouth and chomped away. Good to see her dentures weren't an issue.
"Namgoong family eldest daughter, the Emotionless Sword Fairy of old Murim, Namgoong Haryeong."
Clap clap clap clap clap!
The applause echoed through the gym. The hunters eyed her with wonder, the atmosphere buzzing with excitement. Even Renea.
The name Emotionless Sword Fairy might've been a headache for Meracle and Bi Mutak Hon, but outside, it carried real weight. Among Murim's so-called strongest, she was a top-tier powerhouse.
A chance to learn directly from her? First time across the entire 3rd Floor.
'And a hunter agency didn't pull this off—a matchmaking company did.'
No joke, hunter communities were in an uproar. Emotionless Sword Fairy and Azure Wind Martial Lord teaching personally? Fake ads, AI deepfakes—rumors flew, inquiries poured in.
Customers flooded in to verify, giving us a stellar start. Meracle was skyrocketing today.
"Today, as your instructor for roughly three hours, I look forward to it."
Clap clap clap clap clap!
The applause roared louder. The rare opportunity fired up the hunters' anticipation.
"Any questions from students?"
Hands shot up immediately. Haryeong's lips curved at the enthusiasm. She pointed to a sturdy man with a square jaw.
"Yes, ask."
"I heard top performers get extra training."
"Correct. Then, I'll teach basics of the Namgoong family swordsmanship."
"Sword?"
"Crazy……."
"Whoa, jackpot."
The hunters murmured in shock. They'd expected basic Murim fundamentals, but visible success meant sword arts? An unbelievable opportunity. Haryeong's smile widened at their fervor.
"However—! It won't be easy. Only those with resolve to defeat me will receive my teachings. Train hard."
"Yes!"
"Got it!"
The fired-up vibe was great. But…… from my informed perspective, it stung a bit.
'She boasted she'd snag any guy she liked.'
I'd been impressed by the idea at first. The family head approved sharing some sword techniques. But he probably didn't expect this personal twist.
'That's her skill, though.'
Seeing everyone whisper excitedly made me proud. Questions over, Namgoong Haryeong handed me the mic back. Time for logistics before the real start.
"Everyone, today's schedule is pairs. Check the numbers below."
Labels 1-20.
"Women, stand at empty spots. Men, draw from the box our staff is carrying and go to your number."
"Here!"
Renea circulated with the box, letting them draw. Soon, twenty mixed pairs formed.
"Proceed like this, but partners rotate every 30 minutes."
Some looked shy, hearts racing next to the opposite sex. Name tags showed hunter rank, affiliation—key info for our discerning clients, no prying needed.
"After formal training, two hours reserved for mingling. Naturally connect with those who caught your eye—."
After explaining rotations, I bowed and exited. Meracle's first major event, Love is Real Combat, had just begun.
Meracle's inaugural major event! Love is Real Combat was proceeding smashingly.
"Hee hee, this lady's chest is all tickly."
The elf granny beside me, spectating and poking, seemed to have her romance cells awakening. Though at some point it felt more like an elf job hunt than matchmaking.
The atmosphere was electric enough to make even Renea flutter. Matchmaking events often got mocked as marriage cattle markets—herd 'em up, pair 'em off.
But that wasn't my vision, so I tweaked the curriculum heavily. Natural male-female contact through exercise: pressing during stretches, counting sit-ups. Leveraging hunters' superhuman bodies.
Now, basic endurance: men carrying women in squat holds. The vibe was perfect.
"Jinbeom! Hold on a bit longer!"
"Fighting! You got this!"
"Top 10 for prizes!"
"T-Tae-woo, you're heavy……."
Anyone would mistake it for a college MT, not a matchmaking event.
"Kyaa! What do we do! That girl's legs are wrapped around his waist! Wow! Boss! Is that allowed!?"
She'd watched romance shows and turned full audience member. Renea slapped my back, bawling dramatically.
Yeah. In this great mood, one person wasn't enjoying it.
Her eyes kept sliding sideways toward me.
"……Ahem."
I ducked to avoid Namgoong Haryeong's near-resentful glare.
It wasn't her fault. No mistakes, no lack of charm.
The issue? One problem.
She'd perfectly snagged her partner, and the format forced focus solely on them during exercises. Participants loved it.
But for the instructor up front? No room to intervene.
In other words……
Forcing a marriage-hungry 30s spinster to spectate twenty couples flirting up close.
Unintended torture.
"Sniff."
Tears glistened faintly in Haryeong's eyes.
