The Warmth of a Shared Meal
The doenjang-jjigae was bubbling away on the stove. Savory steam rose toward the ceiling, and the sound of pork belly sizzling in the pan beside it filled the small studio apartment with the rich aroma of home cooking.
Ihyeon stirred the stew with a ladle and tasted it. 'Hmm, I think this is alright?'
She took out two bowls, scooped the rice, and neatly arranged the side dishes: kimchi, rolled omelet, and seasoned bean sprouts. It was a simple spread, but she had poured her heart into every detail.
"It's all ready," she said, her voice quiet as she carefully placed the pot on a trivet.
Taegon set his phone aside and looked at the table. "Whoa." The exclamation escaped him instinctively.
Chopped green onions were sprinkled like garnish over the bubbling soybean paste stew, which was packed with tofu and zucchini. The pork belly had been cut into bite-sized pieces and grilled to a perfect golden brown. It was a visual feast, more than enough to stimulate the appetite of a man who lived on a steady diet of chicken breast.
"Thanks for the meal!"
Taegon took a spoonful of the stew and put it in his mouth. Ihyeon sat across from him, watching his reaction with bated breath.
"......"
His spoon froze in mid-air. Ihyeon’s heart sank. 'Is it not good? Is it too salty? Did I add too much soybean paste?' The worst-case scenarios raced through her mind at lightning speed. But then, Taegon said something she hadn't expected.
"......It's delicious."
Ihyeon’s eyes widened.
"Really?"
"Yes. This is genuinely delicious."
Taegon took a second spoonful, this time scooping up the tofu and zucchini together. "The flavor of the soybean paste is completely different. Is it because it's not store-bought?"
"Oh, it's homemade. My mom makes the paste herself. We never buy it."
"Ah, that explains it......"
Taegon nodded and picked up a piece of pork belly with his chopsticks. He dipped it lightly into the ssamjang and popped it into his mouth. "The pork is great, too. Did you make this dipping sauce yourself?"
"Yes. I mixed soybean paste and gochujang with a little sesame oil."
"You're a great cook, seriously."
Taegon continued to reach for the pork. One piece, two pieces, three. His spoon and chopsticks didn't stop moving. Ihyeon watched him, dazed. 'He’s really enjoying it......'
There was no exaggeration in the way Taegon ate. He wasn't making a fuss like a food blogger, nor was he changing his expressions dramatically. He just ate silently and quickly, clearing his plate. That simple, honest way of eating felt even more sincere to her.
"Taegon-ssi, would you like some more rice?"
"Yes. Please, just one more bowl."
Ihyeon scrambled to her feet and opened the rice cooker. Her hands trembled slightly as she scooped the rice. She couldn't tell if she was shaking from joy or nerves.
When she handed him the bowl, Taegon gave a small nod of thanks. He mixed the rice into the stew and took a large bite.
"I've really never tasted anything like this," he muttered.
Ihyeon, who had been scooping her own rice, looked up. "Never tasted anything like this?"
"Home-cooked meals like this. I've never had doenjang-jjigae that tasted this good."
"Oh, come on. Doenjang-jjigae is so common."
"Common and delicious are two different things." Taegon set his spoon down for a moment. "I don't usually eat proper meals."
"Other than the chicken breast?"
"Yeah. Chicken breast and protein shakes. That's my staple."
"......Every day?"
"Almost every day."
Ihyeon’s mouth fell open slightly. "That's not a meal."
"As long as I get my protein, it's fine. I never really cared about the taste."
Taegon picked up his spoon again and took a bite of the stew. He chewed slowly. "But eating this......"
He paused, tilting his head slightly. "It's warm."
"Is it too hot?"
"No, I don't mean the temperature." Taegon looked at Ihyeon. "It's just, it has a warm flavor. The kind that makes you feel good when you eat it......"
Ihyeon’s spoon stopped in her bowl. Her heart hammered against her ribs once more. 'A warm flavor? He felt that from my cooking?'
Ihyeon bowed her head. Her face, reflected in the broth of the stew, was flushed bright red.
"I-it's too much praise. It's nothing special......"
"I'm telling you, it's not 'nothing special,'" Taegon added, picking up another piece of pork. "If it's food like this, I'd really like to eat it every day."
Ihyeon’s breath hitched. "E-every day?"
"Yes. Tell me if I'm being greedy, but I mean it."
Taegon ate the last piece of pork and pointed to the empty plate with his chopsticks. "Shall we eat together again tomorrow?"
At his words, Ihyeon’s mind went blank. 'Tomorrow. Together. Eat.' The three words spun around in her head.
"Yes! Of course! I'll make it for you tomorrow, too!"
Her voice was louder than she intended. Surprised by herself, Ihyeon covered her mouth with both hands.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout."
"It's okay."
Taegon chuckled. That smile filled Ihyeon’s entire field of vision. It was more dazzling than any smile she had ever seen. Her heart was racing like crazy—enough to make her forget to breathe.
"I should get going." Taegon drank a sip of water and stood up. "Thank you, Ihyeon-ssi. It was truly delicious."
"Oh, no! Thank you for eating with me!"
Ihyeon scrambled to follow him and saw him to the door. Taegon put on his slippers and opened the door. The outside air rushed in. He took a step into the hallway, then turned back.
"See you tomorrow, then."
"Yes! See you tomorrow!"
Ihyeon waved goodbye. She was waving a little too enthusiastically. Taegon nodded and stepped into his own apartment.
— *Click.*
The sound of the door closing echoed in the hallway. Ihyeon stood there, staring at the closed door for a long time. Then, she slowly stepped back inside, closed her door, and leaned her back against it.
— *Slide.*
She sank to the floor. She covered her face with both hands, feeling the heat radiating between her palms.
'He said it was delicious. He said he’d never tasted anything like it, that it was warm.' Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears. 'He said he wanted to eat it every day, and that we should eat together tomorrow!'
Taegon’s words played on a loop in her head, like a broken cassette player that wouldn't stop. She took her hands away and looked up at the ceiling. The fluorescent light burned into her eyes.
'Was it all...... sincere?'
At that moment, cold water was poured over her joy. 'What if he was just being nice and praising me on purpose?' Once her thoughts slipped, they tumbled endlessly. 'What if it’s not that my cooking is actually good, but he just felt sorry for me? Even if not, he’s been eating nothing but chicken breast, so anything would have tasted good to him......'
Ihyeon hugged her knees to her chest. 'Even when he said he’d praise me, it was probably just to comfort me because I looked so down. And asking to eat together tomorrow might have just been something he said because of the atmosphere.'
Her vision blurred. 'He’s a kind person...... he probably just has a personality that takes care of others. I’m not special; he probably treats everyone like that.'
Ihyeon buried her forehead in her knees as she sat on the floor. 'Yeah, that’s it. What was I expecting, a girl like me who has nothing to offer?'
The self-reproach continued endlessly. Her chest felt tight, and her nose stung.
After finishing the cleanup, she lay down in bed to try and get some sleep. As time passed, something surfaced from the corner of her mind.
The expression Taegon had shown while eating the stew. The way he moved his spoon silently, without exaggeration or pretense.
"It's a warm flavor."
His calm voice when he said those words. It didn't seem like a lie. At least, not in that moment.
"......Even if it was just out of kindness." Her eyes grew red. "It still feels good."
A single tear welled up and rolled down her cheek. Someone had told her that her cooking was delicious. Someone had told her it was warm.
"Even if it wasn't sincere...... it's fine. Even if it was just empty words, I want to hear them one more time."
— *Thump!*
She kicked the blanket once. — *Thump, thump.* She kicked it twice more.
"......Ugh."
Ihyeon buried her face in the blanket and rolled around. She hugged her pillow and kicked her feet.
"Aaaah, he said it was delicious. He said he wanted to eat it every dayyyyy."
A muffled voice leaked from under the covers. "He said let's eat together tomorrow too!!"
— *Thump, thump, thump!*
Ihyeon’s feet kicked the end of the blanket.
"Ugh, what do I do. What do I do."
Her face was burning as if it might explode. Whether it was joy, embarrassment, or sadness, her emotions were tangled in a knot she couldn't untangle. But one thing was certain.
In this very moment, Seo Ihyeon was as happy as she could possibly be. The sweet feeling of being acknowledged and needed by someone filled her chest to the brim.
Ihyeon pulled the blanket up to her chin and closed her eyes. Taegon’s words circled in her head like a lullaby.
'If it's food like this, I'd really like to eat it every day.'
'Shall we eat together again tomorrow?'
The corners of her mouth curled up on their own. Even if she tried to hide it, she couldn't stop it. And so, Ihyeon drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.