Chapter 256: On How to Handle Idiots (1)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 256: On How to Handle Idiots (1)
"Thus spoke the Lord, who shed His Radiance to bring light upon this land."
The balding man spoke with practiced solemnity.
As soon as the words left his mouth, Encrid tilted his head in confusion.
"I am a servant who worships the Radiance."
In other words, he was a priest—the kind of man whose profession involved reciting holy scripture in place of a simple greeting.
"What brings you here?" Encrid asked.
"I have come to bestow a blessing."
The priest offered a warm, paternal smile.
A blessing, all of a sudden?
Encrid considered it for a moment. Aren't blessings usually something you receive before a battle?
Regardless of Encrid’s skepticism, the priest prattled on, intent on finishing his pitch.
"The hand of Radiance, which protects this land, has touched this place and bestowed heroes upon this territory. Hahaha."
Encrid’s senses were sharp. Through his experiences, he had honed and fused his perceptions into a singular Sixth Sense. This heightened intuition allowed him to grasp the true disposition of anyone standing before him.
Or perhaps the man simply had no intention of hiding his true nature in the first place.
After rambling about holy scriptures and divine grace, the man eventually claimed that the reason the territory had been saved was due to the prayers he had offered up, without sleep, for three days and nights.
Rem, who was wrapping his fur coat tighter around his frame, looked up. His expression made his thoughts crystal clear: What did this bastard just say?
"Don't, Rem," Encrid intervened just in time.
Ragna, who had been ignoring the priest while walking toward the barracks, also stopped in his tracks. Encrid noticed Ragna immediately shifting his weight onto his left foot—a subtle tell that his sharp combat instincts had been triggered.
Encrid raised a palm toward Ragna, signaling him to stand down.
While Rem usually showed minor signs of irritation before causing trouble, Ragna was the type to beat someone half to death the moment things went south. And then there was Sachsen. That man might just slit the priest's throat before anyone even realized he’d moved.
"All of you, stay back," Encrid commanded again.
He could feel their collective anger, rooted in sheer annoyance. Encrid felt much the same, but he was the only one here currently prioritizing sanity. They couldn't afford to have a priest beaten to death—or even just thrashed—in the middle of the territory, let alone in the center of the barracks.
Wait... would beating him up just a little bit really be that bad?
"This is troublesome."
Even Krais spoke with a cold edge. The way he said "troublesome" made it sound as if he were already contemplating how to hide the body.
It wasn't about the Krona.
Even if Krais avoided the front lines and disliked direct combat, he was still a man who stood on the battlefield. He knew the cost of victory.
If they had won the battle solely because of someone's prayers—if that was the only reason they had survived the slaughter—then what did that make the men who had shed their blood to secure that win?
Encrid reached a simple conclusion: This bastard is an idiot.
The first rule of dealing with an idiot was to ignore them. One should avoid filth rather than touch it, after all.
Ignoring him was the logical answer.
Yet, the giant who usually remained silent in these situations took a step forward. With that single stride, the late afternoon sun cast a long shadow that completely eclipsed the pot-bellied priest.
"Since we won the battle because of your prayers, are you asking us for a victory offering?"
Audin had dropped the formal title of "Brother."
Encrid knew Audin well. He knew the man was deeply religious and possessed Divine Power, even if he kept those facts a secret. He also knew Audin wasn't the type to resort to senseless violence. Usually, whether a priest was corrupt, gold-obsessed, or lustful, Audin would simply avoid them out of respect for their office.
The squad stared at him, stunned by his sudden confrontation.
"Yes, indeed. If you make an offering for the temple, the territory, and the residents, I shall spread word of your noble deeds far and wide."
Encrid easily read the subtext: Give me a few gold coins, and I'll make sure people praise you.
But were they the kind of people who craved public praise?
Ignoring him was definitely the right move, but...
"If the will of the Radiance is so lofty," Audin asked abruptly, "what has become of the funerals for the fallen?"
Encrid briefly debated whether he should stop him.
"That is something to be handled in due course," the priest replied dismissively. His tone made it glaringly obvious how little he valued the lives of the dead soldiers.
This was a world teeming with monsters and demonic beasts. It was a world where every soul lived with the threat of war pressed against their throat. No one knew when monsters might surge from the Demon Realm, triggering another Holy-Demonic War.
In the Great War of history, more than half of the alliance of humans and other races had perished. It was said that the blood shed then formed rivers, and the corpses piled into mountains. The continent had been engulfed in such horrific conflict for generations.
And today was no different.
So, one had to ask: Just because danger is constant, and just because lives are easily snuffed out, does that make a life cheap?
A warlord might think so, viewing troops as mere numbers. A cold-hearted general might agree.
But should a priest?
"I hear you brought back many fine goods? Hoho, if you make an offering with good intentions, blessings shall dwell upon you."
The priest didn't possess a single speck of Divine Power. To Encrid, the word "blessing" sounded more like "extortion."
Audin stared down at the man.
It was a common occurrence. There were as many idiots in the world as there were grains of sand, and this territory seemed to have a particularly high concentration of them. There were thugs high on drugs, the lunatics of the Black Sword, and now, this idiot wearing the guise of a priest.
Audin knew this was nothing new. In the past, he would have ignored it. Even though there were no clergymen in the Border Guard, he had seen wandering priests committing highway robbery under the guise of collecting tithes. He had turned a blind eye to them all.
But the defrocked clergyman, who had spent so long ignoring the rot in the world, had recently found a new perspective. He had seen a man break through the walls of human limits. He had witnessed a beast defying its own fate.
That man’s name was Encrid.
And the words that defied fate itself were currently being tested.
Many thoughts flashed through Audin’s mind. This was the conclusion he had reached while watching Encrid’s journey. Audin faced his own internal change head-on.
Did You tell me to stand by and watch what is wrong?
No. His father, his God, and his Master had never told him to do that.
Thus, Audin saw what was wrong, and he moved. He could do so now because the Lord dwelling within him held him steady.
The priest was an idiot. Encrid knew it, too. Just as Encrid was about to look away and dismiss the man—
Whoosh.
The moment the air shifted and triggered his Sixth Sense, Encrid reacted. If Rem had lost his temper and thrown an axe, it would be a disaster. He reached out, intending to physically block the strike.
But it wasn't an axe. A figure slithered like a snake right under Encrid's outstretched arm, swinging a palm with fluid precision.
Crack!
There was no groan. No death rattle.
The one who had moved was Audin. He had swung his open palm, connecting squarely with the priest's cheek.
Encrid turned, stunned. Audin's movement had been so vivid, so refined, that Encrid couldn't help but ask, "What was that?"
"The Snake Walk."
To an outsider, it would have sounded like a conversation between madmen.
His curiosity satisfied, Encrid looked at the result of Audin’s handiwork. "Is he dead?"
"Probably half-dead," Rem answered for him.
Ragna observed the scene quietly before glancing at Audin and muttering, "Troublesome."
Sachsen followed up with an expressionless remark. "Why bother?"
Why not just slit his throat when no one is looking?
Finally, Rem spoke as he watched the pot-bellied priest sprawling and twitching on the ground—thrown nearly four paces from where he had been standing. Seeing the man’s limbs trembling, it was clear he wasn't dead.
"Man, a guy’s gotta learn to have some patience," Rem muttered.
Look who's talking, Encrid thought, gesturing to Krais.
Krais walked over and checked the priest's breathing. "Fortunately—well, maybe not fortunately—he's still breathing."
The priest's cheek was already swelling into a dark red welt, but he was alive. It was a relief his eyes hadn't popped out from the force of the blow.
Now, only the aftermath remained.
Encrid was the leader of the Troublemaker Squad. He was well-acquainted with this sort of mess.
Actually, I think this is the first time we've beaten up a priest.
There were no temples in the Border Guard. It wasn't for any one specific reason, but rather a series of coincidences. The first commander had kept religion at arm's length, and his successors had followed suit. The commander before Marcus had particularly despised "fat pigs" who coveted more than their share.
The current battalion commander, Marcus, was the same. He believed in God and even made offerings to distant temples, but he would never allow one to be built in his territory. He ruthlessly cut away anything that didn't directly benefit his land. Besides, for some reason, every priest who visited the territory seemed obsessed with Krona.
Encrid looked at Audin, who was still hiding his Divine Power. He wondered why Audin had chosen to snap now.
When Encrid met his gaze, Audin clasped his hands in front of his chest as if in prayer.
"I have no regrets. It was merely the task my Lord commanded, and as His servant, I only followed His word."
So you just really wanted to punch him. Encrid understood perfectly.
"Let's just kill him and bury him," Rem suggested.
"That makes no sense," Encrid countered. There were already too many witnesses watching the commotion.
As Encrid crouched down to inspect the unconscious man, one of the watching soldiers whispered, "...Why does that feel so satisfying?"
"I know, right?" another snickered. "Stupid pig."
While the soldiers gossiped, one of the smarter ones went to fetch a commander. Soon, Zimmer appeared.
"Let's say I was the one who beat him."
"Hmm?" Encrid looked up.
Zimmer’s eyes gleamed. "I believe it will be much easier to clean up if I take the blame rather than you guys."
"I appreciate the gesture, but..."
"You are the heroes who protected this territory," Zimmer said, puffing out his chest. "How could I not do at least this much?"
If a priest was assaulted, he would immediately report it to his superiors. The temple would then use the "disrespect toward God" as a pretext to exert influence over the territory—especially now that Martai was becoming a trade hub. They would try to get their hands on a piece of the pie.
As for the culprit, they would face heavy fines, imprisonment, or worse.
However, if Zimmer took the fall, it would be handled as a local dispute. His influence within the territory was far greater than that of an outsider like Audin.
Encrid scratched the bridge of his nose. He looked at Audin. What bothered him most was the risk of the temple getting involved with the "big bear." Audin was clearly a fugitive—someone who had either sinned against the temple or practiced heresy.
"Everyone here will be a witness," Zimmer said confidently.
As an Easterner and a commander of the territory, Zimmer had the authority to sway the soldiers. The Border Guard troops were already loyal to Encrid, so they wouldn't talk.
"Let's do that," Krais said, nudging Encrid's side.
Encrid nodded. "Thank you."
Zimmer gave a hearty nod. He was a bold man, stepping up just as he had during the battle. "Then it's settled."
He ordered his soldiers to carry the unconscious priest inside.
*
The next day, the priest—whose memory of the actual blow had vanished—was screaming for blood. Zimmer stood before him, looking entirely unimpressed.
Encrid, sweating from his morning training, happened to witness the exchange near the edge of the barracks.
"How dare you lay hands on a servant of God?! Do you think this will slide? The Radiance is watching! I will report this to the temple and hold you strictly accountable!"
Fortunately, the priest didn't seem to realize it was Audin who had hit him. And as Encrid listened, he realized Zimmer was even more audacious than he’d thought.
"We won because of your prayers? Hey, you fucking pig."
The priest was struck dumb. "W-what? What did you just say?"
"Is there fat in your ears, too? Should I slice off half of that ear for you?"
Shring.
Zimmer drew his dagger. The morning sunlight glinted off the polished steel.
"Or maybe the tongue that spews such nonsense?" He gestured as if to jab the tip into the priest's mouth. He had the aura of a man who would actually do it.
The priest hesitated, then tried one last act of defiance. "If the temple finds out about th—"
"If they find out, you'll either have become a meal for a ghoul that 'suddenly broke in' during morning prayers, or you'll have died 'heroically' during the charge at the Centaur Colony. Actually, let's go with that. You were gravely wounded in battle—right about here—and died because you couldn't get treated. Everyone just assumed that since you're a priest, you could heal yourself with Divine Power, so they let it be."
The priest was completely speechless. It was a magnificent performance.
Encrid was impressed. He realized that a threat from a local commander carried a weight that an outsider’s threat never could. Zimmer was an interesting man.
When Encrid returned to the barracks, Krais rubbed his eyes and spoke. "Come to think of it, they're actually quite kind."
"Who?" Encrid asked, preparing to head back out for more sword practice.
"The Black Sword."
"...How are they kind?"
"Ugh, it's getting cold. Can't you snatch that fur Rem bought and give it to me?"
"Even if it means an axe blade in your neck?"
"Even if you stop him, Boss?"
"Without a doubt."
"Ah, damn it. I should've bought one too." Krais was incredibly stingy with his Krona, but even he was feeling the winter chill. "Let's go. You're going to swing your sword again, right?"
Encrid grabbed his blade. He had to stay here until the dwarf finished his work, so he planned to train as he always did.
Beside him, Krais rambled on about why the "idiots" from the Black Sword were "kind."
Listening to him, Encrid realized that since arriving in Martai, he had encountered an absurd number of fools. The Black Sword was moving in earnest, and corrupt priests were crawling out of the woodwork.
So, how should he handle people like this?
The answer was simple.
Just beat them all up.
The logic was clear. Now, it was time for Krais to pave the way for what came next. And as always, Krais remained faithful to his commander’s will.