Shattered Trust
My sister crawled across the bed like a soldier dragging herself through a trench on a battlefield, inching desperately toward the edge. She glanced back, eyes darting wildly as she scanned every direction, then hunched her shoulders and yanked the blanket over herself, hiding her body completely.
“…”
“Ugh… hic… ugh… ughhh…”
For a long time, I couldn’t say a single word. The way she was reacting—it looked like full-blown PTSD. I could tell things had gone horribly, irreversibly wrong.
She stayed curled up tight, sobbing her heart out. Even through the blanket, I could feel her entire body trembling violently. This wasn’t just sadness or heartbreak. Her cries were thick with raw terror and despair.
It seemed my sister carried a horrific trauma around anal sex. And like an idiot who knew nothing, I’d charged in trying to claim her anal virginity, only to trigger the absolute worst possible outcome.
I approached her carefully. She was crying so miserably that even a perverted bastard like me—who usually saw tears as nothing more than seasoning for sex—felt genuine pity.
“…Are you okay? I’m sorry.”
“Hic… ugh… ughhh… heek… hahk…”
“Noona…”
“Uwaaa!!! Uuuu!!! Uwaaaaaaaa!!!!!!”
I had only tried to lift the blanket a little, but she convulsed, eyes rolling back as she flailed her arms and legs in panic.
Honestly, I had no idea what to do. Should I leave her alone? Or stay beside her and offer quiet words of comfort? I couldn’t just watch her suffer. Even if it didn’t help much, I had to do something.
“Uwaaa!!! Get awaaaay!!!! Get away from me!!!!!”
I yanked the blanket down roughly. She clutched the edge and resisted, but no matter how desperately she fought, she couldn’t overpower a man’s strength. The moment I forcibly pulled it away, her condition grew even worse.
She screamed and swung her fists and kicks wildly through the air to keep me from getting closer. Seeing her thrash so pitifully, I finally understood just how much pain she was in.
“Hold still for a second.”
“Uuuu…!! D-don’t come… don’t come near me… uwaaa… I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was wrong. Please spare me. Please spare me!!”
As I inched closer, she seemed to lose her mind completely. Watching her like that hurt me too, so I stopped sneaking forward and simply threw myself onto her.
“Uwaaht!! Get awaaaaay!!!!!”
I pulled her into my arms. There was nothing romantic about it. The moment I embraced her, she convulsed even harder, desperately struggling to break free. Her flailing limbs smacked against me again and again. It hurt like hell since I wasn’t a tank-type, but I ignored the pain and forced myself to stay calm.
I pictured her enormous, motherly breasts—the ones that had felt so warm and comforting when I’d touched them in pure innocence after our earlier intense sex. Then I activated the Hand of God. A gentle, soothing warmth gathered in my palm, carrying feelings of peace and comfort.
Still holding her tight, I gently patted her back with that warm hand.
“Calm down. It’s okay. I won’t do anything.”
“Uuuht… go away… go away!!!”
“I’m sorry. I was wrong. Noona, please calm down.”
“Hic… huht… I hate it… I hate it… go away… just go away…”
“I’ll leave once you’re okay. Once you’re feeling better…”
After a long, stubborn tug-of-war, her body finally began to lose strength. Her tightly hunched shoulders slowly relaxed. The rigid tension that had locked every muscle gradually melted away. I kept patting her back slowly and patiently until she was completely limp.
I knew this wasn’t like me at all, but sometimes you just had to do what needed to be done.
“Hic… huuuu…”
“It’s okay to cry… Lean on my shoulder.”
“Huuuuh… hic… huwaaaaaang…”
I moved the hand that had been patting her back and carefully cradled her head, guiding it to rest on my shoulder. I hadn’t deactivated the Hand of God because I was caught up in the moment, and I worried it might cause side effects like it had with Sieun. But somehow I felt that if the emotion was this warm, it would be fine. As the one directly channeling the feeling, I had a strong intuition that there was no danger.
“Huuuuh… why… why did you… hic…”
“I’m sorry.”
“Heuk… it hurt so much… it hurt so bad… huu… I thought I was going to die…”
There was no way inserting a single finger could actually kill someone. It seemed like she wasn’t talking about this moment at all—she was remembering something else.
“Hic… why did you do that… why… haa… huuuuh…”
I stayed silent for a long time, simply patting her back. I kept it gentle and steady until the soft thumping sounds grew louder than her sobs.
“It was… about three months after I started the job…”
We lay together in each other’s arms. The warm energy I’d poured into her until her tears stopped must have helped tremendously. She regained her mental and physical stability surprisingly quickly. After I laid her down and held her quietly, she eventually wrapped her arms around me too, like a child seeking comfort in her mother’s embrace. It seemed she had wanted consolation after everything she’d been through.
Only then, once her heart had fully settled, did she open up about the story I hadn’t yet asked for.
“The moment I saw him, I knew he was trouble… Still, I thought if I was kind to him, nothing bad would happen…”
Just remembering it seemed painful. Her body trembled faintly. I pulled her closer, and the shaking slowly eased.
“If it’s too hard, you don’t have to tell me, Noona.”
“No… I was too scared to talk about it anywhere else… Not even to my husband… But right now… with you here, it feels okay. It’s strange…”
Without a word, I gently kissed her forehead. As if that kiss had been a signal, her lips parted again.
“…That bastard… suddenly came at me, covered my mouth, and dragged me to the bed. And then… and then… when I kept struggling, he pulled out a knife.”
“…He came prepared. What a crazy fucker.”
“Yeah… Normally the manager just touches you lightly to check… but he didn’t want to get caught, so he wrapped a small folding knife in tape and brought it with him.”
“Holy shit…”
“So what could I do? He had a knife… I was so scared I begged him, saying I was sorry. I even pleaded for my life… Then he told me to shut up, pressed the knife to my throat, and… he raped me. I was raped. At that time…”
“…”
“Still, I endured it. Once it got that bad, I actually thought it was lucky. I figured once he finished having sex, he’d leave… But that wasn’t it.”
Every time her voice grew darker, I sent comforting, warm energy into her. I hoped this moment would lighten the burden in her heart. No matter how tangled and festering something was inside, sometimes just speaking it out loud made it feel like nothing at all. I prayed that this would be one of those times for Mihyeon.
“…After he finished, he suddenly shoved his finger inside me.”
“…In your anus…?”
“Yes. In my anus. Even though it tore and blood was flowing, he didn’t stop… It hurt so much… I really thought I was going insane.”
My head rang like I’d been shot in the skull. There were limits to triggering trauma—this was practically a reenactment of the crime.
‘Fuck, what a goddamn idiot.’
They say people can change in an instant. Just by shifting my sexual preference a little, I’d ended up in the same category as a knife-wielding rapist. I hadn’t even brought a knife—I’d given her a mountain of money—and yet things had twisted this badly. Clearly, money alone didn’t make the world easy.
Pat. Pat.
To prevent her anal trauma from flaring up again, I kept patting her back and sending in soothing energy ahead of time. I wanted her to feel how warm my touch was, so I wouldn’t overlap in her mind with that knife-wielding rapist.
“Mmm… that feels good… Tsk. If you’d done this from the beginning… I wouldn’t have been so disappointed in you… Idiot.”
She grumbled lightly with an expression of pure bliss, like someone receiving a deep massage. But in my opinion, she was only half right. Even if I had continued our relationship as warmly as when we first met, we wouldn’t have truly mixed our hearts. I would have been the closest person to her, but I’d still have remained a satellite orbiting outside the star that was her husband. That was how heavy and solid her love for him was.
Even if we did mix, it might have taken a very long time—perhaps years. But because I had pushed her, insulted her, and then arbitrarily touched her anus, we were finally able to mix our hearts for real.
She probably hadn’t realized it yet, but confessing something she couldn’t even tell her beloved husband was an act that crossed a far more forbidden boundary than simply sharing bodies. It had only been possible because I had stormed into her like a tempest. And once that happened, it didn’t matter how much she loved her husband.
Some secrets were heavier and more special than love itself.
I listened to her story and tried my best to empathize and comfort her, but deep inside me—in a dark, damp place I had buried long ago—ecstasy at this incredible situation kept boiling up. I couldn’t hold it back.
“It was so annoying I couldn’t stand it… How could I not torment you?”
“What was so annoying that you… called me a rag and everything? I was really… so hurt, and so scared.”
“I’m sorry. But I’m still angry. Every time you say you love your husband.”
“…What?”
“Never mind. I said something stupid.”
“…Yeah.”
It was an obvious push-and-pull tactic, but it worked perfectly on Mihyeon. From the way she slightly lowered her head in embarrassment and gave that somewhat awkward, stiff reply, I could clearly tell she was flustered by my words.
I deliberately changed the subject.
“So what happened after that? With the rapist. He didn’t swing the knife at you, did he?”
“Ah… that… afterward… it wasn’t much. He kept shoving his finger in but it wouldn’t go easily, so he got up from the bed like he was going to get some lube. That’s when I ran for my life.”
“You could do that? I thought you were really slow at running…”
“Why would I be slow at running? Um… I was always in the top five in my class, you know?”
“…Huh? Really?”
Her boast left me momentarily stunned. Top five in class while carrying two watermelons on her chest? If she hadn’t had those breasts, she probably would’ve been a monster who dominated the track and field world.
“Yeah. So I ran out completely naked, and right then the manager came up because the time was over. He frowned when he saw me, took off his jacket and gave it to me… then went into the officetel. There was a lot of banging inside, and soon the manager dragged the rapist out beaten to a pulp. Seeing someone who had seemed like a devil to me get overpowered so easily and pathetically… it felt refreshing, but also somehow frustrating.”
“Hmm… Is the manager you’re talking about the same one we have now? The really fat guy?”
“Yes, that’s him. He was my manager for the entire six months I worked there.”
I never would have guessed that the guy who looked like a typical tattooed pig thug was actually skilled enough to instantly overpower a man with a knife. All that blubber must have been emergency energy reserves for combat. I’d better not mess with him in the future.
“But… Minjun… you know…”
“Yes? What is it?”
“…Are you really going to give me 100 million?”
I wondered why she was hesitating so much, but she had brought up the money again. I loved money as much as anyone, but whenever she talked about it, I felt like I was becoming just as sleazy, and I hated that. Still, I couldn’t get angry at her when she looked up at me with those moist, sparkling eyes.
“Sigh~ If you can’t trust me that much, why did you follow me in the first place?”
“…You’re right. I must be crazy. No matter how much money he offered, following a guy like you…”
“Wow… what’s so bad about me?”
“You’re a pervert… and a total sadist.”
Her words were undeniable facts, but she didn’t realize that she herself was happily nestled in the arms of that very perverted sadist.
“Ha~ Seriously. How ridiculous. Wouldn’t the person who got trained by such a perverted sadist and passed out from pleasure be an even worse pervert?”
“…I didn’t pass out from pleasure… That was just… um… because it hurt… Yes, it hurt so much I couldn’t help it.”
“Really? Then if I do it gently, you won’t pass out? Okay. Noted.”
“Wait a second… Minjun… mmm…!!”
I kissed her. But it wasn’t my usual fierce, pleasure-driven kiss. It was soft and sweet, like something out of a romance drama. I pressed my lips to hers as if asking permission, waiting patiently until her mouth parted. Then I gently nibbled on her slightly open lips and sucked them tenderly.
-Sluuurp. Sluuuuurp. Chup.
“Mmm… haa… this… isn’t right… mmph… haaa…”