The Headlock and the Sex Friend Proposal
I realized something was off about my noona's reaction, but it was already too late.
“You little shit…”
“…Why are you acting like this… Let go of me, please.”
“How did it feel treating your noona's soles like a toy? Must’ve felt amazing, huh? Like you were in heaven?”
My noona gripped my wrist tightly, her face twisted in a scowl as she radiated a threatening aura. For the record, I had never once gotten into a real fistfight in my entire life. I might not have studied much, but I was quick-witted enough to avoid ever getting hit by teachers. My durability was practically zero, and my body was completely defenseless against violence.
Maybe that was why the violent energy pouring out of her felt even sharper. I swallowed hard against the rising tension and tried to calm my furious noona.
“Teacher. Let’s not do this and just talk it out…”
“Why should I? You tormented me too. Physically, not with words.”
“That’s because you provoked me first, so there wasn’t much I could do about it…”
“Shut up and come here.”
“Wait… just a second. Noonim. Noona. Teach—ughhhk.”
She hooked her arm around my neck, yanked my head into her chest, and immediately locked me in a headlock.
“Ugh…”
The feeling of blood being cut off from my head was the worst. On the other hand, the plump, spongy sensation of her breasts enveloping my skull like a soft cushion was the best. The contrast left me with incredibly strange feelings.
After meeting Yeonju, I thought I was a complete sadist. But after encountering Si-eun noona, I started wondering if I might actually have a masochistic side too. Even in this situation, my cock was steadily growing hard.
“Ow. Ow. It really hurts. Noona. I was wrong, so please let me go.”
“What are you talking about? I’m barely even using any strength…”
Si-eun noona's casual remark hit harder than the headlock itself.
Her words were so shocking that my erection almost wilted for a moment. The powerful pressure on my head was apparently her holding back? This was exactly why a weak guy like me shouldn’t associate with physical monsters…
“I was wrong. Please spare me.”
I begged her pathetically. It was incredibly humiliating, but I endured it for the sake of my future plans. I swore to the heavens that the day I would repay this humiliation was not far off.
“Are you really reflecting? Your eyes look suspicious.”
“Of course. I swear I’ll never play with noona's feet again.”
“Actually, that part wasn’t bad. I hate to admit it, but it felt pretty good. So good it was almost a problem…”
“Then why the hell…”
“When you started talking about the smell of my pussy juice, that’s when I got really pissed. I take such good care of my body—there’s no way it would smell bad.”
“…”
I wanted to ask what the connection between pussy juice smell and body care was, but since the mood was slowly shifting toward reconciliation, I kept my mouth shut. This was the wisdom of the weak.
“Minjun-ah…”
“Yes, noona.”
“You’re really reflecting, right?”
“Yes. I told you I am.”
“Then later, just do one favor for me. No questions asked.”
“…Even so, I can’t give you a Porsche… Ack!! Joke! It was a joke!”
The headlock grew noticeably stronger just because I joked around. Having never experienced such barbaric treatment before, my mind was completely dazed.
“You’ll do noona's favor, right?”
“Ugh. I’ll do it. No questions asked.”
Only after securing my firm promise did she finally release the iron grip of her headlock. I shook my head a few times, trying to clear my mind that had been crushed by the pain.
“My clothes are getting messed up. Can you do that a little further away from my chest?”
“Ahem… I was distracted because I was exposed to such merciless violence.”
“Aish~ That mouth of yours, seriously.”
When I caught another whiff of impending violence, I quickly got up from beside her and returned to my original seat across from her. Only then did I realize what kind of disaster our little scuffle had caused.
“Noona… Don’t you smell something burning?”
“Why? Is your heart on fire?”
“No. The meat is all burnt.”
Thinking I was joking, she let out a small laugh. I looked at her with a dead serious face and pointed at the grill. Si-eun noona hurriedly checked the grill, and her expression crumpled into a tragic one.
“No way… How could this happen… I was so hungry…”
“We’ll just ask them to take it away and order more. What else can we do?”
“Wow~ That gold spoon mentality is insane.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
Ding-dong—
I pressed the bell to call the server, asked them to clear the burnt meat, and ordered another round. After a short wait, a new grill and fresh meat arrived. Unlike before, the two of us waited quietly until the meat was fully cooked. The moment the server left, we immediately started eating.
She really did eat beautifully. Because of her body management, she seemed to only eat pure meat without dipping it in vegetables or sauces, but watching her enjoy it so much made me feel strangely satisfied too.
“By the way, noona… Your personality inside the fitness club and outside seems pretty different.”
Chewing. Swallowing.
She had been stuffing a wrap into her mouth and chewing hard when she heard me. Her eyes widened, and she quickly swallowed the food in her mouth. It looked like she had a lot to say.
“Ugh~ Of course, Minjun-ah. If I acted that seductive all the time, wouldn’t I just end up having sex every single day?”
“…”
Her sudden, perfectly accurate point left me speechless.
“That’s all just sales vibe that comes from experience. It’s obviously the kind of look that drives men crazy~”
“So I got sold on it too?”
“Hehe. Why~? Do you hate that you got sold on?”
“Well, I don’t hate it, but it feels a bit too business-like, you know.”
“Aigoo~ Minjun, you little shit. When you say stuff like that, you really seem like a forever solo. You don’t understand a woman’s heart at all~”
“…”
I kept my mouth shut completely, afraid that if I opened it, I’d start trembling. She looked at me like I was the cutest thing in the world, but I knew she was fully aware that it was only making me more irritated.
“Sales is strictly only at the sales floor. And I don’t share my precious meals—one of the few I get a day—with guys I don’t like just because I’m working.”
“Do you like me, noona?”
“Yeah. From the first time I saw you, I thought, ‘It has to be this guy.’”
“Why?”
“That’s… I’ll tell you later.”
The confident look in Si-eun noona's eyes wavered slightly for the first time. It seemed like there was something there, but pressing her about it would probably make her uncomfortable, so I let it slide.
“Then what about you, Minjun? What exactly did you like about this noona that made you come at me so aggressively? You’re still wet behind the ears, yet you had the nerve to stare at my breasts…”
She looked at me with her signature sly gaze. For some reason, she was deliberately pushing her chest out in a way that was both majestic and annoying. Knowing full well how insanely hot her body was, she was still fishing for compliments. Wanting to strike back, I deliberately made my words cruder.
“Because I wanted to fuck you, noona. The moment I saw you, I got insanely horny.”
“For real? That’s kind of interesting.”
“What is?”
“Because I felt the same way.”
My heart sank with a heavy thud.
For a moment, the expression on Si-eun noona's face as she looked at me was filled with deep, experience-born sensuality. She was personally demonstrating what it meant to fuck someone with just your eyes. Thanks to my fraudulent skills, no matter how strong I was in actual sex, I still couldn’t imitate that concentrated aura that came from overwhelming experience.
Feeling humiliated that my cheeks had flushed involuntarily from the pressure of our experience gap, I snapped at her for no reason.
“You said you only do sales at the sales floor.”
“Silly boy~ This isn’t sales~”
“You act so easygoing, but you’re actually such a fox, noona.”
“So you hate it~?”
“Not at all. But I’m scared I might get completely bewitched by you.”
It wasn’t sincere at all. This was a service comment and buildup for later. I planned to pretend to be enchanted first, then make her fall so deeply for me that she couldn’t live without me.
Just imagining the proud, easygoing, and even fox-like Si-eun noona becoming completely obsessed with me and pathetically clinging to my pants leg made me incredibly excited.
‘Yeah… This is the real me…’
My identity, which had almost wavered because of Si-eun noona, became firm once again. Being on the receiving end wasn’t bad, but dominating was far more thrilling.
“Mmm… Minjun-ah, it’s fine if you fall for noona, but don’t get too obsessed. I really hate that kind of thing.”
I had been staring at her blankly while imagining a pink future, and apparently finding my gaze burdensome, she loosened the line she had been pulling taut until now.
‘Huh? Look at this?’
It felt like lightning had struck inside my head. Seeing her push me away at a timing where she could have pulled me in even more, it seemed like she had her own design in mind. And I liked that design too.
“Don’t tell me… You’re not suggesting we be light sex partners instead of obsessed lovers… right?”
I spoke with an incredulous look. Honestly, if I could form a sex partner relationship with Si-eun noona, I would be more than happy. It wouldn’t even be strange if I were the one begging for it. But in relationships between people, sometimes pretending to dislike something even when you like it could be more advantageous.
“Of course not! Not some cold partner thing… Let’s be sex friends, Minjun-ah. Yeah?”
“That’s the same thing! Stop playing with words. Seriously.”
I deliberately put on a stern face. Seeing her look slightly apologetic, it seemed my acting had worked perfectly.
“Why are you getting so angry~ Minjun-ah, think about it calmly. Just because we’re horny for each other doesn’t mean we have to become lovers.”
It was a perfectly reasonable statement. She really was a deep thinker. But what came out of my mouth was the complete opposite.
“It makes me even angrier, so stop saying stupid things. How can you think about sex so lightly, noona?”
“That’s because you haven’t had much experience yet, Minjun. As you live, you realize sex is just sex and guys are all the same. Life is already boring enough—if you become lovers with just one person and only have sex with one person, how boring would that be?”
Si-eun noona passionately made her case. It was such an excellent speech that I almost wanted to give her a standing ovation, but for the sake of the situation, I still had to play hard to get a little longer.
“…Then why do you want to have sex with me? You said sex is all the same anyway…”
“Still, you’re a little different. If I’m going to eat anyway, it’s better to eat someone who suits my taste. Hmm… like seasoned over fried, I guess?”
“Ha… You do realize this is treating people like toys, right?”
“Wow~ Why are you taking the suggestion to be sex friends so seriously? Living like that will make you tired, Minjun-ah~ If I were really a trashy bitch, would I even be saying this to you? I would’ve just fucked you once and tossed you aside.”
Her confident words flew at me like daggers. When you thought about it that way, the real trash was me. I wasn’t going to fuck her once and throw her away, but unlike her, I couldn’t openly reveal all my cards. My sinister plan to make her cling to me was still a secret.
“No… Sigh~…”
“Sex friends! Sex friends~ Let’s be sex friends~ Sex friends~~~!”
Whether to cheer me up or just because she was doing whatever came to mind, she sang a grotesquely rewritten version of a famous CM song melody while acting cute out of nowhere. Seeing her take a potentially serious request like becoming sex friends and make it so light and ridiculous, I genuinely couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.
“Pfft… Ha~… Seriously…”
“Oh? You laughed! So Minjun is going to be sex friends with me now, right?”
“I still… need to think about it a bit more.”
“Aww~ A guy playing too hard to get isn’t fun. At times like this, you should just boldly say yes.”
“…You have a lot of other sex friends besides me, don’t you?”
“No. I don’t have any.”
She didn’t seem to be lying, so I was genuinely surprised. The way she was talking about sex friends like it was nothing, I thought she’d have at least five…
“Besides you, the rest are all sex partners. Light sex partners. Right now… about five?”
“Well, damn…”
She put on an arrogant expression as if it were ridiculous, then spread her fingers wide to emphasize the number five. Before I knew it, a rich reaction slipped out of my mouth. For some reason, I felt like a mother watching her immature daughter.
“Hey!! ‘Well, damn’ is too much!!”
“Whatever. Just tell me the difference between a sex friend and a sex partner. I was going to refuse if I was going to be the sixth sex partner, but if I’m the first sex friend, I’m a little interested.”
“Hmm… A sex partner is literally just a partner. Like a living dildo. On the other hand, a sex friend is a friend. You and me, Minjun—we’d be sex friends. Sharing hearts and semen… something like that.”
“Good grief. We haven’t even had sex yet and you’re already talking about sex friends.”
“We’ll be doing it soon anyway.”
“Ahem…”
I wondered why people cleared their throats when they were embarrassed. Now I knew—when your throat closes up and your airway gets blocked, a fake cough is definitely appropriate.
“Um… By the way, Minjun-ah… Is this your first time having sex?”
“Who knows? You’ll find out when we do it, won’t you?”
To her cautious question, I answered with maximum bravado. Compared to her, my experience was severely lacking, but with two fraudulent skills in my possession, I had more than enough reason to show off.
“Aigoo. Typical guy. You said you didn’t even have a girlfriend, so even if you did it, it was probably just once or twice by luck. With that kind of experience, can you even fuck properly?”
Si-eun noona's provocation was extremely vulgar. But when that vulgar provocation was combined with her condescending expression, it actually pissed me off quite a bit.
“Do you believe in geniuses, noona?”
“Out of nowhere?”
“There are geniuses in sex too, noona.”
“And that’s supposed to be you?”
“Well, you’ll find out when we do it.”
“Hmm… Not today though…”
“…What? We can’t have sex…?”
Her sudden bombshell left me momentarily dazed. She had just been talking about having sex soon, so I couldn’t understand why it suddenly wasn’t possible. The thought that we couldn’t have sex made all my energy drain away and my hands and feet tremble. Is this what it feels like to lose the world…?
“Why not? You said let’s be sex friends…”
“No, it’s not that… No matter how good your technique is, today won’t work. I’ll be the one doing it for you. Yeah… Today I’ll take care of you. But you have something you need to do for me too.”
“…What? What is it? What are you going to do? And what do I have to do?”
I asked because I genuinely had no idea what she was talking about. What on earth was this noona saying?