The World Is Money and Women
I lay sprawled on the bed, head throbbing, hands and feet trembling faintly. The exhaustion was so crushing that my eyelids felt like they might slam shut any second, but I forced them open and stared at the phone clutched in my hand.
“Five in the morning…”
It was too late to call it dawn and too early to call it morning. People heading to early shifts were probably just starting to drag themselves out of bed. Me? I usually crawled under the covers around this time and didn’t wake up until late afternoon. Every single day, without fail. I wasn’t some hardcore night owl with a special job. I was just a repeat student. A hopeless, bottom-of-the-barrel gamer.
A pathetic re-taker who sucked at studying but spent every waking hour glued to games. The headache pounding in my skull was simply my brain screaming for mercy after too many rounds. I knew if I kept living like this I’d completely ruin my life, but what the hell was I supposed to do? This was just how I was wired.
The rush I got from gaming felt a thousand times more real than grinding through some noble sacrifice for a brighter future. Unlike studying, games gave instant, undeniable rewards. Those rewards flooded my brain with dopamine, and my mind had been marinating in that intense high for years. Yeah, it wasn’t pure enough to waste time on something as boring as textbooks. Our tastes had always been different.
I liked it spicy. I only ever ate the hot flavor of ramen. So maybe this really was the fault of my genes. Born with DNA that overreacted to dopamine, I had no choice but to live out the life of a hopeless gamer according to those silent, absolute genetic commands.
“…What an idiot.”
Disgusted with myself, I opened the match history site. The game I played was Legend of Legends, or LoL for short. Each match, including queue and everything else, took about fifty minutes. The site showed I’d played over twenty games today alone. I started calculating the hours but gave up. What was the point of adding up time I’d already thrown in the trash? It only made my head hurt worse and my life feel even more pathetic.
“……”
Even I was scared of myself sometimes. I knew this path led straight to ruin, but that didn’t mean I actually wanted to destroy myself. As a true addict, I just drowned the anxiety of that gap between reality and my ideals in more games. The more I played, the worse the anxiety got, but I used the intense pleasure to scrub it away. A perfect vicious cycle. A life even mayflies would pity. The aftertaste was so nasty that sometimes I wanted to break free, but deep down I knew better than anyone that I couldn’t.
Maybe I’ll study tomorrow… Heh. Yeah, right.
I briefly considered getting serious about studying tomorrow, then immediately dropped the idea. If I’d ever followed through on any of my resolutions, I’d already be at Seoul National University living like a king. Still, I wasn’t disappointed. No, I was too exhausted to even feel disappointment anymore.
“……”
Well, isn’t that just what humans do? Resolve in the morning, despair by evening. I was simply a little faster than most. I’d make my resolution while lying in bed and feel the despair before I even fell asleep.
Viiiing—.
“Ugh, what the hell?”
The phone vibrated just as I was about to drift off. I grabbed it from the pillow, turned on the screen, and checked what had buzzed me.
The app 'The World Is Money and Women' has been installed.
What the…? I never installed anything like this.
An unknown app had apparently installed itself. And the name…
The World Is Money and Women? I had to admit it was pretty ballsy. This was the age of gender wars, where men and women fought dozens or hundreds of times a day. For an app to openly troll with such a blatantly chauvinistic title on that battlefield? The developer who came up with it, and the app store employee who approved it, had to be completely insane.
Still, I couldn’t help being curious. It would probably get sued into oblivion by feminists within days. Might as well check what it was before it disappeared.
I tapped the icon and launched the app.
Hey there, you pathetic failure.
Don’t you want to change your life?
Want some help?
The messages floated up in white text against a black screen. Reading them, I felt a jolt in my chest. Pathetic failure. Few phrases described my life so perfectly.
Fuck… how does it know? This thing is dangerous.
I glanced around the room, half-expecting a hidden camera, then cautiously tapped the [Yes] button. I was curious what kind of help an app with this level of creepy insight could possibly offer.
Excellent choice!
Here’s a little reward to get started.
How about we begin with 1,000,000 won?
[Web Transfer. Sehan Bank. Deposit: 1,000,000 won.]
I said nothing. Just silently opened the Sehan Bank app. I’d assumed it was a prank, but the moment I saw the deposit notification, goosebumps exploded across my skin.
After the loading screen finished, the account balance appeared on a clean white background. I couldn’t think straight.
It was real. One million won had actually been deposited. I hadn’t done anything. One single tap, and a million won had appeared in my account. Sleep vanished instantly. I shot upright in bed. Hands shaking, I reopened The World Is Money and Women.
How does it feel to actually get the money?
Way more exciting than your games, right?
“Hell yeah it is. Thank you, boss. Seriously.”
I stared at the message with nothing but sincere gratitude. I felt zero shame. After getting a million won with one tap, this was the least I could do. Hell, if it asked, I’d happily suck the developer’s toes.
That’s right, Minjun.
The world is money. And women.
That’s all there is.
But people desperately try to look away.
They claim there are more noble, higher values.
Love. Friendship. Honor. Morality.
You already know how worthless those things really are, don’t you?
In the end, it’s always just money and women. Am I wrong?
Ding.
I tapped the screen without the slightest hesitation. My finger naturally found [Yes]. It was an extreme way of thinking, but I agreed to an extent. Extreme or not, this was an app that gave me a million won with one tap. Agreement didn’t matter. The correct move was to milk it for everything it was worth. In front of cold hard cash, my pathetic opinions could take a backseat.
Yeah… isn’t this exactly proof that the world really is money?
As expected, you’re a man who understands.
I like you.
I am the God of Money and Women.
As my follower, will you drench this world in money and women for me?
Selecting [Yes] binds you to the eternal duty of endlessly pursuing money and women, stimulating humanity and dyeing the world with desire for both.
Failure to fulfill this duty will be treated as apostasy. You will suffer unimaginable torment for all eternity in the afterlife.
“Holy shit. They’re calling this a duty?”
I read the message and burst out laughing. I had no idea who made this app, but they clearly had more money than sense. That was the only explanation for how detached from reality they were.
“What effort do I even need to put in? My life and the whole world are already nothing but money and women.”
Ding.
Once again, without the slightest hesitation, I tapped the screen. My finger landed squarely on [Yes].
Congratulations on becoming my apostle, Minjun.
Before I unlock every function of the app for you,
I’ve prepared a tutorial to help you gradually adapt to its power.
Let’s begin the tutorial.