Chapter 33
Chapter 33
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 33
Chapter Title: The First Kiss
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I wondered if I should really say it. After agonizing over it endlessly, I hesitated, but I could feel Esilly staring straight at my face, making it impossible to back out now.
I mumbled hesitantly, as if confessing a sin.
“I’ve been thinking... that I might lose my first time... not to you, Esilly, but to an elf.”
“Pardon? Your first time?”
Esilly’s eyes widened round as she stopped in her tracks. Thanks to her, I stopped too. She stood there speechless for a while before finally composing herself and moving her lips haltingly through the chill.
“Your first time? Does that mean Sir Theorad has never been with a woman before?”
Of course. Ever since our engagement, I’ve only ever thought of you.
“That’s true. But isn’t it the same for you?”
“I’m a woman, so that’s only natural... but Sir Theorad... you’re the eldest son of your house, aren’t you? I’ve heard most noble families provide sex education, you know... that thing...”
“I get what you’re saying, but the Deharm family doesn’t hold coming-of-age rites like that. I swear by the God of Light, I’ve never been with a woman.”
Esilly’s face flushed bright red. Her hair lifted slightly, and her hands fidgeted unnaturally. After standing like that for a long moment, she teared up as if feeling wronged.
“Waaah. If you’d told me sooner, I could’ve... somehow, stopped it, just... before you got taken by that elf, when we were alone, so...”
Incomplete sentences trailed off one after another. Not understanding, I tilted my head.
“What are you trying to say?”
“It’s not words...”
She was acting like a child, which was frustrating.
“If there’s something you want, do it here and now. I have to head back tomorrow, so time’s short, isn’t it?”
“Th-that’s ridiculous! How could we do that here?”
“Then don’t.”
I took a step back playfully, but Esilly closed in with two steps of her own.
Why is she doing this? In the suddenly narrowed distance, Esilly lightly grabbed my waist. Her face was flushed, looking half out of her mind.
“Then, just a little... excuse me.”
“What do you—”
Esilly stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to mine. Smack. Caught off guard, my eyes flew wide, and my heart pounded hard.
It was as if time had stopped—my thoughts froze, and all my worries felt utterly trivial.
After what felt like five minutes but was probably five seconds, Esilly pulled back and smiled shyly.
“This is my first time too. Is it yours as well, Sir Theorad?”
“...Yes, it is.”
“Good. I didn’t want to lose this to an elf too.”
My breathing was a bit ragged. But regaining her senses, perhaps, Esilly took my hand amid her embarrassment.
“Sir Theorad. If it’s not too presumptuous, will you make one promise with me?”
“I promise.”
Esilly looked up. Her lapis-blue eyes reflected the starlight of the night sky and my face at once.
“Even if you give your first time in body to an elf...”
She pulled my hand like a net to her upper chest. Gripping my wrist tightly, Esilly moved her lips sadly.
“Please... save your first time in heart for me.”
Esilly’s way of speaking, which always made the other person feel good, tricked my selfishness into seeming like consideration.
But knowing full well it was an irresistible selfishness... neither she nor I could help but continue this charade.
“Can you do that?”
Her smile, like a pure forget-me-not, stung my heart. I grabbed the back of her head, pulled her into my arms, and whispered sincerely.
“To me, my first time has always been you.”
It always will be.
I muttered whatever came to mind, patting her back reassuringly.
After a long embrace, we talked late into the night about this and that. I returned to my room feeling refreshed and fell asleep.
When I woke, my mind felt much lighter. Sharing the secret I’d been agonizing over alone with someone else brought such great comfort.
On top of that, Esilly’s not-quite-confession in the courtyard kept my heart racing. I hadn’t shown it then, but under the hazy moonlight, with tears in her eyes, she was several times more beautiful than usual.
─ Please... save your first time in heart for me.
Even now, her words replayed vividly in my mind. Pitiful yet cute, compassionate yet alluring—the scene lingered.
Thinking about it again, Esilly was too good for me. I couldn’t understand why a woman like her would like a guy like me.
Feeling sorry yet grateful, a smile crept onto my lips unbidden.
‘I don’t want to go back.’
Part of me wanted to stay longer in the castle and talk more with Esilly. But I couldn’t.
Avoiding the elves wandering the castle while sneaking away for secret talks wasn’t practical, and leaving the Deharm family seat vacant too long would tangle up estate affairs.
Steward Havild and retainer knight Baynon were surely handling things well, but I couldn’t shake the unease.
For those reasons, I packed early in the morning and arrived at the count’s office to bid farewell.
After a deep breath, I knocked twice. Before I could say anything polite, a stern voice came from the other side.
“Come in.”
“Yes. Pardon the intrusion.”
Opening the door, I saw His Excellency the Count seated at his desk.
Wearing a monocle as he wrote letters, he exuded an air of refined dignity beyond the ordinary.
With elegant strokes, the Count murmured quietly as he wrote.
“You’re leaving, I see. It’s earlier than expected. Why not stay another day or two?”
“I appreciate the offer, but I can’t be away from the estate too long.”
“You’ve got your father’s stubbornness about needless things.”
Silence fell briefly. Faint smoke rose from the melting spoon over the burning candle. The Count continued writing and added,
“That’s a compliment. Don’t take it amiss.”
“Of course not, Your Excellency.”
“Fine. But when it’s just us, you don’t need to be so formal with titles.”
“...Pardon?”
“You’re not sharp enough to win my daughter’s heart otherwise. You can call me father-in-law.”
His Excellency’s kindness warmed a corner of my heart. It was welcome news, but from my position, I couldn’t.
“I’ll call you that after the wedding. It’s premature now, so I’ll keep the propriety.”
“Tch. As I said, you’re stubbornly formal about trifles. Not like today’s youth.”
“Shall I take that as praise?”
“This time it’s not. Take it as a reprimand.”
Was he sulking because I wouldn’t call him father-in-law? As I gauged his mood, the Count finished writing, folded the letter neatly in half—like it was measured with a ruler.
“Theorad. I was going to tell you later, but since you’re leaving in haste, I’ll say it now.”
Folding the letter once more, he slipped it into an envelope and tapped the edge.
“Some people in the imperial court are interested in you.”
The imperial court? In me? Stunned by the sudden topic, I couldn’t respond. Casually, the Count picked up the melting spoon.
“By now, their letter should have reached the Deharm estate. You’ll know who when you get home. It’s a fine chance to connect with the court—don’t miss it.”
“Really? Who could they be... No, more importantly, why would people like that take interest in me?”
“You can wonder after reading the letter. Theorad, I think highly of you. If you don’t want to live as a vice-count forever, grab this rope now.”
His Excellency spoke indulgently, but I couldn’t make sense of it no matter how I thought.
Was it because of my regular reports on magic research to the court? But my magical talents weren’t exceptional, nor was I a born scholar.
It was hard to believe the court held the Deharm family in high regard. Objectively, we had some recognition in the county, but not enough for the imperial court to notice.
‘This must be...’
No doubt His Excellency had deliberately put in a word with some shining stars of the court to speak well of me.
It was a gracious act, but with family matters already overwhelming, whether drawing the court’s attention was good was questionable.
Still, since he’d gone out of his way, I bowed politely.
“Thank you for your concern, Your Excellency.”
“Hm? Seems like a misunderstanding. I never brought you up to the court. It’s purely your own merits drawing their interest, so save your thanks for someone else.”
His Excellency’s pinky twitched subtly. It was his unconscious tell when lying.
‘So you did mention me.’
It was obvious, but I didn’t let on. No need to pretend I knew if he didn’t want to admit it.
So instead, I decided to bring up what I’d planned to say before leaving.
“Your Excellency.”
“Speak.”
“If I may be so bold, among the prisoners I captured, could you transfer authority over the one called ‘Murnen’ to me?”
The Count lifted the melting spoon and dripped sealing wax onto the envelope’s center. Then, using his family signet ring, he sealed it neatly.
“What’s the reason? Lust? Grudge? Public good? Honor? Speak.”
“None of those. It’s simply to comfort a widow and her daughter who lost their husband to that prisoner.”
The Count removed the ring and dusted his hands.
“The reason is pity. A desire to do good, no less. Young and not all that bright.”
“Your Excellency.”
“But this dark world needs its salt and light somewhere. It’s not the worst that the county has talent like you. Granted.”
Overwhelmed by the string of favors, I didn’t know where to put myself. I bowed deeply in gratitude.
“Thank you! Your Excellency!”
“Grateful for every little thing. You’ll wear yourself out living like that.”
Chuckling dryly, the Count opened a drawer, pulled out a fist-sized box, and set it on the desk.
“That’s enough talk. Take this and go. I have work to focus on.”
“What’s that...?”
“Engagement rings. I meant to stay out of your romance, but after all this time together, you haven’t even exchanged proper rings.”
“My apologies. We planned to after confirming our feelings fully.”
“Fine. And have you confirmed them well?”
“Yes. I believe we have now.”
At my answer, a rare smile crossed the Count’s face—something close to contentment.
“Good. My daughter won’t dislike your sincerity then.”
“My sincerity? This is all something Your Excellency prepared...”
“You fool. You think to invoke my name while giving engagement rings? Honesty has limits. Just say you bought them.”
“But...”
“Enough. One more word, and I’ll take it as you trying to ruin our relationship.”
Silenced by his threat, I shut my mouth. With no choice, I quietly took the ring case. Watching me, the Count’s eyes felt somehow warm.