Prologue: An Unexpected Awakening
Sometimes life throws curveballs at you when you least expect it, and who knew—this might just be one of those moments.
“What the hell is this place?”
Waking with that thought, I shook the fog from my mind and took a moment to scan my surroundings. Instead of my familiar ceiling, a vast sky stretched overhead. And instead of my bedroom floor littered with clothes and tissues, bushes and trees greeted me...
What the fuck? Why was I—who should’ve been safe in my room—dumped smack in the middle of a forest like this?
“Hold on... I remember busting one last nut before crashing...”
Yeah, no way I’d forget. My daily routine always wrapped up with me parked at the computer, squeezing out three loads from my saved collection.
So why the hell had I ended up dropped in the heart of a goddamn forest...?
Mulling that over, my hand naturally slipped under my waistband—and I felt something heavy grab hold in my palm.
Soft, squishy, wriggling like a living thing... Had a snake slithered into my pants or some shit?
“Ughhh, what the fuck is this?”
No—peeking down confirmed it matched my body perfectly. Meaning the thing lurking in my pants was my precious cock. And judging by the floppy heft, it was fully flaccid.
What? My precious little guy had turned into a monster? My old peanut dick had ballooned into a beast?
“Fuck, what the hell happened here?”
Come to think of it, my whole body felt wildly different. The flabby gut was gone, replaced by pure muscle. Running a hand over my head? Not a single hair.
In short: bald, ripped, packing a 69-caliber howitzer between my legs.
Reflecting on my new self, I muttered the obvious conclusion aloud.
“Hmm, got it. This is a dream.”
Of course it was—otherwise, after jerking off and passing out, there’s no way I’d wake up in a forest. Must be sage mode kicking in, gifting me this chill dreamscape.
That comforting thought lasted all of two seconds.
“Haha! Up bright and early, hustling hard—and lookie here, a real prize!”
A cheerful voice rang out from the rustling bushes. The figure who burst into view was a woman, decked out in clothes so skimpy it screamed slutty at first glance. Sleeveless top baring her arms? Fine. But cleavage and bare midriff on full display? That’d give my inner Confucian dragon a goddamn seizure.
“Hey, you! Man-meat! Don’t wanna end up ugly? Surrender nice and quiet.”
Seeing her wildly brandishing a sword, still clueless about the situation, I blurted out the dumbest response.
“Uh, um. Before I do—mind telling me who you are?”
“Haha, figures—a fancy-pants man like you wouldn’t know shit about the real world~ Can’t tell? I’m a bandit! Highway robber extraordinaire!”
Highway robber? In CCTV-riddled Korea, those were mythical as fuck. And a woman pulling it off openly? That defied all logic.
Stunned silent, she flashed a sleazy grin and wiped the drool from her lips.
“Kuhuhu... Always scraping by on trash, but snagging a tasty morsel like you? Jackpot—I can finally pop my cherry~”
Her eyes gleamed with raw greed. Feeling uneasy, I backed up—and she thrust her sword closer, ramping up the threat.
“Oi, where you think you’re going? Told ya—stay put, or it gets nasty.”
“Ah, y-yes. Sorry.”
Even a chick with a blade—you don’t fuck around. Best play: surrender quietly for now.
Her sword dipped toward my crotch.
“Alright, first things first—strip. All of it.”
“...Strip?”
“Duh, gotta peel you bare to loot your shit. You’re not gonna whine you can’t, right? Huh!?”
She bellowed the threat, shoving the blade closer. Staring her down, I weighed it for a sec—then decided to play along. Hey, it was all a dream, right? Dick upgrade, mystery forest—why not a random slutty bandit waving steel? Totally plausible.
“Fine, I’ll strip.”
“Good boy, cooperating... Wha—!?”
I yanked off my pants with zero enthusiasm—and she choked on air. Then, sword still aimed my way, she yelped in panic.
“W-what the fuck, you! Normal people start with the top! What kinda chastity belt logic is that!?”
“Huh? Doesn’t matter—everything’s coming off anyway?”
“W-well, true...”
Her voice trailed off, shrinking. Her gaze flicked downward—and I heard a loud gulp from her throat.
“B-big... so fucking big.”
Yeah, she was zoning out on my howitzer. Fair—that size demanded awe. But goddamn, staring like a shameless whore?
While I thought that, I noticed her sword grip slackening. Totally distracted by my meat.
Perfect opening for a counter.
“C-can that thing even fit? N-no, but this is my shot at losing it...”
“Now’s my chance! Hah!”
“Eek!? W-what!”
I slapped her hand away—sword flew in a perfect arc. She panicked, swinging a fist, but I blocked it effortlessly and locked her arm.
“W-what! Let go, you! Cocky little man!!”
Cocky little man? Even Korea’s chick-friendly laws had limits—no way I’d just eat punches. Wait—this was a dream, right? No real-world rules applied.
“You little shit, felt good swinging that sword around, huh!?”
“Eeeek! S-sorry! I’m sorry!!”
“Shut it—you said you’d do anything? Obey every word from now on. Got it!?”
“Y-yes! G-gimme orders!”
Hey, dream world—who gives a fuck? I snatched her dropped sword, pointed it at her, and growled as vicious as I could.
“First—clothes off. Everything, down to your undies.”