Chapter 261
Chapter 261
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 261
Chapter Title: Woo the Tree (2)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Sure, whatever."
Back in the old days when I had jack shit, I agonized over stuff like this a lot.
How to navigate crises. How to build up my strength.
Those worries haven't stopped even now, but at the moment, I needed to turn my brain in a different direction.
Toward the last resort of raping the tree.
In the time allotted to me, I had to somehow raise the affection of the tree called Mary.
Turn this extreme human-hater into an ally.
Run a Beauty Tree dating sim.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ 19,560p has been awarded. A whopping few months' worth of saved-up affection points.
I'd scraped together every last bit of affection from World Trees, various trees, and people toward me to rack up this many points, so it made sense.
The World Tree Auction I entered after so long handed me a bundle of points.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The World Tree Auction is a shop accessible only to World Tree husbands and prospective husbands. It uses affection from World Trees and Wood People as currency. Only points (p) are accepted. ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Current Points: 21,560p World Trees give 100p per affection point.
Wood People are 10p, as far as I know.
Click the cute pink icon, and it unfolds into descriptions and the shop.
Items lined up like an online mall. Among them, I headed straight for the gacha section.
The shop had plenty of useful items, but the prices were jacked up.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Now's your chance! From F-rank items to EX-rank unique traits! 100p per pull! "Hoo..."
Memories of the old days bubbled up as I took a deep breath in front of it.
There was a time I'd freak out trying to snag unique traits or aptitudes here.
But not now.
What I wanted was super common, easy to get.
Hit the gacha button, and 100p deducted as something popped out into the air.
A red-glowing pill. Haven't seen one in ages.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ ▶ Tree Pill (B) [Type: Consumable] - A rare elixir for growing sprouts. Infused with mystical energy, it greatly aids young saplings' ability growth. But if a human eats it, big trouble. 'Gotta save this for Shiba.'
I shoved the Tree Pill straight into my carry-on the moment it appeared. A rare drug to help Shiba grow. Or give it to Lee Se-young. In this world, it's a key resource, useful anywhere.
Next pull.
Didn't take long for one of the things I wanted to pop out.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ ▶ Mineral Water (F) [Type: Consumable] - Seems like something juvenile saplings would love. In this tilted great forest, the gacha exclusively for World Tree husband candidates is thoroughly tree-oriented.
The items from gacha cater to World Tree tastes.
This Mineral Water, once dismissed as trash?
'One of the best foods for trees.'
Need a few more of these, and other stuff too.
I hunkered down in my room and spam-clicked the gacha button.
My luck isn't bad. Early on, I dumped everything into luck and potential when raising stats.
But luck doesn't flash obviously; up to now, no big payoffs.
-Plop plop.
A bunch of stuff poured out of the air.
A long hose from a machine, a bell-shaped thing wide open inside. Baby bottles lined up too.
Picked it up off the floor, and I got the idea.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ ▶ Milking Machine (C) [Type: Other] - The fruit of two people's love. World Tree cheers you on! - Effect 1: Extracted breast milk is preserved indefinitely. - Effect 2: Can be modified for extracting honey or sap. "...Purity."
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The World Tree of Purity tilts her head. "This is you, right."
No reply. Looks like Purity's handiwork.
'Why the hell is something like this in gacha...'
Not bad. Actually good. Means Cornus can handle her own breast milk without others touching it.
Didn't expect it from gacha, though.
'How do you extract sap and honey?'
Mindlessly mashing buttons reshaped the hose into something plausible.
Reminded me of hoses stuck in maple trees along roads.
"Save this for later."
Tucked it away and kept rolling gacha.
Soon got the items I wanted.
Sapling Fertilizer.
The most useless gacha item, one I'd even donated to nearby farms. But right now, I needed it more than anything.
A few unexpected bonuses too.
Nutrients and such, mostly tree items. Normally I'd curse up a storm and blame Purity, but in my current situation, couldn't be better.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Next day. Same time.
Schlepping fertilizer on my back, stares poured in already.
Where the hell did he get that? Eyes like that everywhere.
All my pockets stuffed with water bottles.
-Thud!
Dumped the fertilizer sack on the bench and sat. As expected, in use.
Door opened soon after, and Lim Jong-hyun emerged.
-Creak.
Eyes met as door opened. His slightly slitted eyes scanned me, then the fertilizer sack, and he smirked.
"Must be tough, huh?"
Normally it'd end at a glance. No idea what wind blew, but he spoke in a cocky tone.
Door closed, Mary out of sight in the distance, then I spoke.
"Fucking exhausting. What do I do with that tree? No clue, man."
I'm running out of time. You've got a long way to go.
Something like that read in his eyes. Thought I was too dumb to notice?
Or outright provoking.
"Ha."
One scoff, and Jong-hyun's thoughts were crystal clear.
Got lucky fighting Jeong Si-woo... Bragged up after half-assing it against that national tree.
You and Mary, no different.
Mary puffed up with tree supremacy and arrogance. Lim Jong-hyun, nothing achieved but arrogant cause ancestors were hot shit. Same breed.
Humans belong under Wood People. Dare not kneel? Pathetic groveler fits. That's their mindset.
Seeing those two explained why Sun and Aori's lives twisted.
That trash Flower hates types like them, probably.
"Not leaving?"
Jong-hyun passed without a word.
I ignored him too, grabbed the doorknob.
-Bang!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [Late again today? Inferior breed.] I gaze at the tree greeting me enthusiastically.
"Good day. Inferior breed Lee Si-heon reporting."
Immediately pitched my voice subserviently.
"Your outfit's red today. Hanging from an upper branch instead of lower, and it suits you perfectly."
[...What?]
Mary flustered by my torrent of words.
No chance to reply, I barreled on.
"Of course, this lowly inferior breed's eyes can't fully capture your beauty. Still, at a loss for what to do... so I express it like this."
[Wh-what. Yeah? Ha... Full of spirit compared to yesterday?]
"No, sir. Should've done this from the start."
[Isn't that obvious? Yeah~ Yesterday you were too cheeky. A mere human scheming?]
"Correct. Unlike your leaves growing daily, humans stop growing midway and just age. I yearn to resemble you even a little."
[...You calling me dumb right now?]
"Not at all."
I fetched fertilizer sacks and water one by one, placing them on the soil.
Mary's flustered voice. She never expected this.
Yeah. She wanted a lowly inferior breed sullen from yesterday's abuse, face scrunched.
Human pride unbroken, week-long staring contest, then me breaking to suck up while she cackles alone.
[...What's this? Who said you could bring crap like this!]
"No one, sir."
[Ha, what do you take me for? Think I'd like this junk? Dump it now.]
"...Really?"
[Obviously.]
I made the saddest face possible.
Like a 20-year-old grandma Chihuahua, crumpling my features.
"My utmost sincerity."
[Told you, don't need it.]
Tore open the sack mouth.
Dark, shiny fertilizer inside. Horrid to me, enticing to trees. As it scattered look and scent, Mary froze.
[Right...]
Pupil quake. Leaves trembling instead. Water droplets trailing leaves like sweat.
[Ri-right-]
Tortured branch.
"How about sampling my sincerity, just once?"
[......]
"Please."
Long silence. Under white lights, slightly kneeling. Conveying fertilizer, personal thoughts aside.
To them, fertilizer's like a full-course feast, so soon I got her answer.
[...Bring it.]
"Yes, sir."
Carefully dragged the sack, circled sprinkling gently.
Splatter on clothes, I'd catch hell, so cautious.
Unlike what I knew, whole sack fine. Mary's body faintly glowed after generous dose.
Whoosh- brighter. Leaves wagged like puppy tails.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ ▶ Walking Pheromone (F) Use every trick in the book.
First use of that ability, faint sweet scent leaked from me, noticeable even to myself.
-Rustle, rustle.
Shaking leaves.
[...Wha, well, edible. Not bad for inferior breed.]
"How about the water, sir?"
[Sprinkle.]
Popped the lid, poured on soil. Gourmet meal for trees.
Hope this raises affection some.
Mary glowed long. Seems she emits faint green halo while eating.
Fertilizer melted into soil.
[......]
Mary focused silently. Soon, slightly embarrassed voice.
[Hoo, well, for inferior breed... decent sense.]
Can I take the trial now?
Tempted to test if possible now, but quelled the urge.
Time to wait.
Still plenty of time.
'Push trial now... hard-earned affection could tank to dislike.'
Acting nice just to beg for trial?
Can't let her think that.
I'll always treat you with tree supremacy deference.
Just natural behavior, unrelated to trial.
Plant that idea.
That's enough for now.
"Then I'll take my leave."
[Wh-what, already?]
Mary questioning my move. I bowed politely.
"Humans nearby might hinder digestion. Same time tomorrow."
[Uh, uh-huh.]
Grudging reply. I exited.
Didn't forget one last backward bow for flair.
With that picky tree, caution upon caution.
Leave her feeling empty in my absence.
Plan to touch slowly.