Chapter 236
Chapter 236
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 236
Chapter Title: Crazy Bastards (2)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
These crazy bastards.
"So, just try it once, and you'll never forget it."
I chuckled incredulously as I watched Sun deliver his passionate speech.
Yeah, sure, you could stick it in a tree.
I'll concede that much a hundred times over.
I know I have no room to talk since I went and did it myself out of a sliver of curiosity.
But liking it? That's on a whole other level.
What the hell is so great about sticking it in a tree? It's not like you're desperate for relief.
"Let's move past that story now."
"Ah, bro. I can't compromise on this. Let me teach you about Aori quick."
Teach me what?
Aori, legs spread in an M-shape in the bushes, slowly reached toward her waist to pull down her underwear.
"You can do it quick. I can make it feel just like a knot. I'll make your roots tingle."
Aori extended her lewd hand toward me. Before it could touch my knee, I pulled back.
I flicked her forehead hard with my index and thumb.
-Thwack!
Aori's head snapped back just like Sun's had.
"Ow..."
"Don't touch it. It's got an owner."
"Okay."
She mumbled while clutching her forehead.
I shouldn't expect common sense from these two.
I started to wonder if the Wood Spirit King, who commanded the world in my imagination, was actually just a vulgar pervert.
Every single one who inherited his power or was his descendant was missing a few screws.
"Bro. But I can't compromise on this. To properly wield the king's power, you have no choice but to eat knots."
"Stop using that phrasing like 'eating knots' or whatever."
Sun pondered seriously.
"Then, like nobility, 'grafting'?"
This is dizzying.
Yeah, in this world, that wouldn't sound weird at all.
I knew from experience with Star or Se-young that when getting intimate, people made lewd jokes metaphorically linking to trees.
"From the start, isn't calling a knot a tree's dick weird?"
At my obvious question, the two tilted their heads as if asking what I was talking about.
"What are you saying? It's common knowledge after scouring every book on all things in the world."
"Then all trees would be standing on roads with their dicks out?"
"That's how normal trees are. But nobles all wear underwear."
"Wouldn't flowers count as genitals? Or at least leaves?"
Aori tapped my knee at that.
"Flowers are like that for females."
"What?"
Aori placed her hand on her chest.
"Wood... tits."
Wood... tits?
-Throb!
Can I keep hanging with these fuckers?
"Bro, you don't even know proper foreplay techniques?"
"When would I ever have to fuck a tree?"
I knew grafting was one way to get stronger, but I'd never had the chance with a tree.
The closest was recently with White Poplar, but since she was a clone, it was impossible.
Self-loathing hits. Let's get back on track.
Trees this, trees that—no matter what, I'm inexperienced, so we're going in circles.
If I end up intimate later, I can learn then without it being weird.
"...So how did you know I was here?"
"We didn't expect to see you in the Forest Keeper selection. Aori had a gut feeling pointing here, so we came."
"You knew the Wood Spirit King would appear?"
"Yeah."
Sun brushed dirt from his hair and explained.
"Timing-wise, the Wood Spirit King shows up around now. Everyone who knows, knows. Flower, World Trees too."
Is there a specific way to know that?
No point asking these two; they probably don't know.
I knew from White Poplar's hint that I inherited the Wood Spirit King's power, but it wasn't his power from the start.
It began with the Blessing of the Lewd Tree.
If that's the foundation of the Wood Spirit King's power, then fine.
'With time manipulation and all, they wouldn't miss me coming.'
Flower even approached me.
Jin Dal-rye's adoptive father, Lee Seong-han, had invited me.
No matter how much I hide, people who know my identity exist somewhere.
"Bro."
Sun asked me.
"Just out of curiosity, how much do you know about that power?"
The Wood Spirit King's power.
Graft with a World Tree to steal its authority.
I learned that from experience with the World Tree of Healing.
And through the Tree Encyclopedia, gain power via sex with Wood People.
Of course, traits differ per Wood Person, and sometimes with deep-blooded ones like national trees, you get stat boosts.
At climax—intense, mind-breaking climax—they spurt fruit. Eating it helps improve talents or stats.
I explained it all, and Sun nodded.
"You only know the basics."
"There's more?"
"Plenty, but minor stuff's useless for me to explain. The most useful for you now is that: Enslavement."
Enslavement.
Putting others under your dominion.
"Sounds creepy just hearing the name."
"Bro, ever been betrayed?"
At the sudden question, I thought deeply.
If bad endings in relationships count as betrayal, I've had a few.
My father's deeds too, if you call them that.
Broadly, yeah. But no one's stabbed me in the back yet.
"Trustworthy people are hard to keep close. In those cases, consciously... do it during relations."
"Do a ritual?"
"'You are mine. My person.' It's abstract, hard to grasp. But use it, and you'll get the feel. Might feel off at first... but no power's better."
Sun's voice was pretty serious.
"Hard to think everyone's always on your side, bro."
"......"
"Even your allies won't always act as you want."
A power I might use someday.
I decided to stop thinking there after hearing Sun.
'Enslavement.'
A few days ago, I felt something like that.
Trapped in the dungeon with Marronnier.
Memories are hazy. Don't even know how I slept with her.
But the feeling was totally different from dorm or lovers.
If that weird impulse was part of the power...
I can probably use it directly too.
"Lots of people gunning for you, bro."
I know.
"Good to have pawns ready anytime."
Sun's advice.
I know my enemies are beyond imagination.
Flower, World Trees.
My side's not weak, but few in number.
And each is too precious to drag into my fights.
But forcing countless people under me—is that right?
Need more thought.
"Hey."
"Yeah."
"Just to be safe—could someone I sleep with develop unprompted favor toward me?"
Sun's face hardened.
"Dunno about that far... But feeling fondness from sleeping together? Not unique to Wood Spirit King."
"Huh."
"Yeah. 'Fuckbuddies' exists for a reason. Sharing intimacy inherently draws a bond. Why?"
Just curious.
Been wondering, and Sun knows Wood Spirit King well.
"If you don't use that power, it's just sharing love."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Ah, one-nights differ?"
One-nights are sharing love broadly.
Dumping loneliness in one go.
Or sharing pleasure.
"Guess you're not used to it, bro. Never ate trees."
"No one but you weirdos is."
"Surprisingly mainstream taste."
Don't wanna know.
Aori listened to us with hands forming a flower calyx.
Sun eyed her and sighed.
"Anyway... better discover other Wood Spirit King powers yourself. As successor, might differ from the original."
"Questions not over."
I get who the Wood Spirit King is.
How strong, enslavement too.
Need to meet more trees.
Makes me sick thinking, but I get it.
To survive, no choice.
"Why am I the Wood Spirit King's successor?"
Sun shook his head immediately.
"Probably most suited to the power."
Otherworlder yet successor.
With dimension-hoppers, can't deny.
I straightened and sighed.
"What now for you two?"
"What else? Help you, bro."
"Help a guy you just met?"
Aori grinned.
"It's fine."
"Yeah, she's abnormal, so."
"......Harsh."
Sun shrugged. Grabbed Aori's crown, spun her head.
"Aori was born waiting for Wood Spirit King. Me... after slave market, waited for you. Nothing else to do but help."
"Live your lives. You have power. Made it to Forest Keeper trials."
"No status, get caught and die? Better die helping you."
"We met today. Doesn't compute."
Sun chuckled.
"Kukuku, you don't know Wood Spirit King's value yet."
"Want me to use it?"
Sun slyly backed away at my glare.
"Uh... but guys together..."
-Pow!
Sun flew back, head smacked hard.
"Gah! Can't joke? Joke!"
"You offered sacrifice."
"Yes, bro. Feed me cup ramen thrice daily, I'll do anything."
No grovel, just obsequious.
Sun rose, rubbing forehead.
He nodded; Aori stood before me too.
Born prepared to assist Wood Spirit King.
Impossible for me to understand their mindset.
They grinned heroically yet comically.
Two perverts who love trees.
"Now hear your story, bro. How'd you become successor... why come here."
Useful tools? Not lies.
Any ulterior motives? Fleeting doubt.
"Still much to teach, bro."
"Yeah yeah."
But their crazy personalities dispel suspicion.
I slowly began my story.