Chapter 19
Chapter 19
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 19
Chapter Title: Saf
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Saf confessed everything she had heard from Father Daniel to Abbess Julia.
Julia spoke with a face half filled with surprise and half with worry.
"For now, we must keep this entire matter a secret. Father Daniel is going to search for the Holy Grail!"
Saf sat across the table from her and said, upon seeing her worried expression.
"Should I not have told you, Abbess?"
"It was something you should have kept secret even from me. Didn't Father Daniel warn you not to tell anyone?"
"He didn't say anything like that. In fact, he told me to consult with you, Abbess. I didn't want to lie to you, even if I could hide it from others."
"Father Daniel seems so thorough, yet he has so many gaps. And you, you're just too kind."
Julia fiddled with her wrinkled hands as she continued.
"Yes, you've made up your mind, haven't you."
"I'm sorry."
"There's no need to apologize. I've long thought that life here doesn't suit you."
"I've committed so many sins against you, Abbess."
"Hmm? What do you mean by that?"
"You've had to worry about things you shouldn't have because of me, you've suffered so much loss, and you've gone through so much hardship. Especially this time..."
"Child."
Julia reached out her hand across the table. Saf hesitated to take it, as if her own filth might stain it.
Julia grasped Saf's hand firmly with both of hers, as if she understood her feelings completely.
"You are a child of fortune. The convent was always dark without you. But from the day you were left on the stairs in that basket, my world has been filled with light. It felt like a single candle had entered the darkness, guiding me. And even if a bit of wax drips from that candle, we don't blame the candle for being dirty. You are the most precious gift God has given me. In fact, it feels like Father Daniel is taking you away from me."
Saf looked at Julia stoically.
At that moment, a tear rolled down Saf's cheek. Julia was surprised, and Saf was even more surprised. Her expression didn't change, though.
"I've never seen you cry before."
"Neither have I."
Saf wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. It had only been a slight welling up when she was sad before, but now it flowed all the way to her chin.
Saf rubbed the tear on the back of her hand with her finger and asked.
"Did I not cry even when I was little?"
"Yes. These are the first tears I've seen from you. Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm so happy. I didn't know you thought of me that way. I've always thought I was doing wicked things to you, Abbess, and that I could only stop sinning against you by leaving the convent as soon as possible."
"How could that be?"
Julia stood and pulled Saf into an embrace.
Saf closed her eyes and hugged her back. The tears gathered in her eyes flowed down her cheek once more.
Julia stroked Saf's cheek.
"I never imagined I'd see the day you cried. Next time, I'd love to see you smile. You must look beautiful when you smile."
Julia, having made up her own mind, continued in a firm tone.
"Take good care of Father Daniel alongside Jade. Those two will cherish you."
Julia cried too.
"This must be how a mother feels when sending her daughter off to marry. I thought I knew the feeling from marrying off the orphanage children, but I was wrong."
Julia wiped her tears and bid her farewell.
"Leave through the back door secretly. I'll tell the others you've transferred to the Pharens Convent."
Saf packed only some clothes, a bit of silver, bread for the day, and a waterskin before departing. The nun's habit was conspicuous, but as Julia advised, it would serve as a shield until she left Rom, so she kept it on.
By the time Saf left the convent, the morning sun had already risen.
Only Julia followed her out for the farewell.
"Saf, come back safely."
"I'll pray for you every night, Abbess."
"Thank you. God's blessing and your fortune will protect you from danger."
Saf paused midway.
"That's what Father Daniel always said. That I'm a child of fortune, and that I can achieve anything by following my heart."
Father Daniel had repeated it tirelessly every time they met. If it had been a while since they last saw each other, he would say it as if she had forgotten.
"Father Daniel and I clashed on many things, but I agree with him on that. You are a child protected by fortune."
"At first, I believed the priest. But everything always goes against what I want. It's as if I'm not a child of fortune but an incarnation of misfortune... This time too... And last time when you got hurt, Abbess, that was all because of me..."
Saf couldn't continue.
"You mean the time I got hurt before? The goat incident?"
Saf nodded.
Not long ago, a goat escaped from the pen behind the convent. It was entirely Saf's fault. She had forgotten to lock the gate that day. She had opened and closed it thousands of times without mistake, but that day she forgot.
And that day, the wind blew fiercely. And of all things, the youngest kid slipped out the gate.
All the nuns went out to search for the kid, and just then, without warning, a downpour started.
Saf and Abbess Julia found the goat. It had slipped on wet rocks and broken its leg. So Saf had to carry the kid back.
The kid struggled the whole way. When Saf couldn't calm it, Julia had no choice but to take it. Only then did the kid settle in Julia's arms. But at that exact moment, lightning struck.
The goat kicked Julia in the chest in a frenzy and jumped down. Julia fell and broke her leg.
Losing the goat was Saf's fault, and Julia being bedridden for nearly a month with a broken leg was also Saf's fault.
The kid recovered in two weeks, but elderly Julia took two months to walk properly.
"Because of that, you couldn't attend the nuns' gathering in Glitten Kingdom this year. I heard about it. The carriage and ship were all reserved, so the cancellation fees must have been hefty..."
Saf trembled as the guilt she had momentarily forgotten resurfaced.
"Child, Saf."
Julia sighed with a hollow expression. Then, apologetically, she continued.
"Yes. You wouldn't know beyond that. You're right. I deliberately didn't tell you the aftermath so you wouldn't think it strange."
"The aftermath?"
"The ship I was supposed to take sank in a sudden gale. Everyone on board either died or went missing without a trace."
Saf was at a loss for words.
"I was so busy praying for the souls of the dead that I couldn't think of you. I didn't even connect it to you at all."
Julia gripped Saf's hand tightly again.
"Saf, every misfortune comes with fortune, and every fortune is followed by misfortune. Don't become arrogant because of fortune, nor despair because of misfortune. In the end, you must always do your best in everything. Don't forget that throughout your journey."
Julia's words echoed in her ears all the way down the hill from the convent.
'Even if I'm not a child of fortune, I hope my misfortune doesn't spread to others.'
Saf paused at a fork in the road to pray. Just as she started walking again, a carriage sped by.
Saf startled and stepped back, only to step into a pothole. She fell backward into it. The mud puddle was full of water.
Saf landed on her butt in the muck. Dirty water splashed all over her. She tried to get up quickly but slipped again, falling headfirst. Anyone watching would think she was deliberately flailing like an idiot in the mud.
'Good heavens, it hasn't rained recently. What is this?'
Saf gave up struggling against the mud and sat there catching her breath. She waited until she was sure she could stand in the slippery puddle, then rose.
Saf moved to dry ground and checked her clothes. She looked like a beggar, no better than one.
'I can't go to Father Daniel's house looking like this. I can't take the first step of the Holy Grail expedition in mud-soaked clothes.'
Saf took off her nun's habit and first put on the priest's cap to hide her horns. Her blue hair was so caked in mud it looked brown.
Under the habit, she wore pants and a thin shirt layered, but even those were soaked in mud.
'Right. The priest's house will have a place to wash. I can borrow clothes too.'
From old stories, women traveling would disguise as men. Borrowing the priest's clothes would mean dressing as a man unintentionally, but maybe that was for the best.
'I am a child of fortune. Maybe this is a sign of good luck?'
Saf tried to force an optimistic view of the situation.
Saf set off again. The way to Daniel's house was neither hard to find nor rough to walk, so she didn't hesitate.
Another wagon sped by. This time she hugged the roadside and avoided mishap.
Looking closely, a large water tank was on the wagon, sloshing water everywhere. The puddle she fell into must have formed that way.
"Fire! Fire!"
Someone's voice rang out. Indistinct shouts followed. The red morning glow she thought it was turned out to be from the fire.
Feeling an ominous premonition, Saf hurried her steps.
'No way? Impossible. It can't be.'
Saf clutched her mud-soaked clothes and hurried up the hill.
Father Daniel's house was on fire!
Saf was so shocked she plopped down right there.
"Father..."
People were filling buckets from the water the wagons brought and splashing the flames. They could barely keep it from spreading to other houses; it was nowhere near extinguishing the blaze.
As Saf sat by the roadside staring at the fire, someone approached.
"Do you happen to know who lives here?"
"Huh?"
Saf turned to see a large bald man standing there. She rarely saw men due to convent life, so even ordinary men made her tense. This one had a deep voice, thick forearms, and a fierce face.
"Um, I..."
Saf stammered when suddenly someone else ran up.
"Child, there you are!"
Saf turned to the new man. He was a short, plump middle-aged fellow she didn't know.
He shoved the bald man in the monk's robe.
"Who are you to approach my daughter?"
"Oh, your daughter? And you are...?"
"I'm the owner of this house. Who are you?"
"Just a passing monk. This girl seemed in distress, so..."
"If your hands are that idle, why not help put out the fire instead of touching other people's daughters?"
"Sorry about that. I'm in a hurry."
The bald man waved with a grin and hurried down the hill.
The middle-aged man watched him go with wary eyes. Only then did he turn to Saf.
"You didn't suffer anything rough from that man, did you? Let me see! Good lord, did you roll in a pigsty? Your face is... Huh? Who are you?"
The man reached for Saf's face but stopped in belated surprise.
Saf, equally baffled, stammered.
"I, um... that is..."
Then, from the crowd of onlookers, a brown-haired girl about Saf's height ran up.
"Daddy!"
"Demia! Why are you over there...?"
The middle-aged man quickly pulled away from Saf and hugged his daughter.
"I thought you were in that house."
The man said.
"Why would I be in that house?"
"You snuck in before and stole Father Daniel's wine, didn't you?"
"Why say that? It was only once."
Demia glanced at Saf.
"Who's she?"
"Ah, never mind her. I thought I knew you."
He turned away, a bit embarrassed, without apologizing.
His daughter asked.
"What about the house?"
"It's an old place; I was going to rebuild anyway. But I saw the priest bring a young man home at dawn. I'm worried if he got out. And if the fire spreads, the whole neighborhood could burn. I wonder if we can put it out..."
As the homeowner spoke worriedly, the burning house suddenly collapsed with a crash. The people carrying buckets screamed and fled. Thick smoke and debris scattered everywhere.
Debris didn't reach where Saf was, but the black smoke carrying ashes swept over her and blanketed several blocks in an instant.
The fire went out like a lie. The collapsing house had buried the flames under its ruins by chance. Amid the coughing, people hurried back to douse any remaining embers.
Through the hacking coughs, the homeowner's voice came.
"Even if someone was inside, it'd take a month to confirm."
Saf fixated on the homeowner's words.
'Father Daniel went into that house? Then it's my fault. My misfortune spread.'
Saf couldn't bear to stay at the fire scene to check for bodies, let alone if it was Father Daniel.
'A young man who went in with him? Then maybe?'
Saf turned away.
'What do I do? Go back to the convent and tell the Abbess?'
Saf rubbed her cheek with the back of her hand. Wet face and hair clung sticky with ash and dirt.
'No. Father Daniel wouldn't die in a fire. He must have escaped before it started.'
Saf pressed her cap down firmly and ran toward St. Vesta Cathedral.
'He said to go to St. Vesta Cathedral if our paths diverged. This is just that. It has to be.'