Chapter 15
Chapter 15
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: The Blue-Haired Saintess
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Saf entered silently and sat down beside Priest Danel. She first offered a prayer to the statue of the saintess and the star cross.
Danel waited for Saf's prayer to end.
"I've missed you, Father."
Saf turned to Danel with an expression carrying a weight far too heavy for an eighteen-year-old girl. Of course, Danel knew well that Saf simply didn't know how to make any other face.
"I've heard the story, Saf. It must have been hard for you."
The dawn light filtering through the narrow window illuminated Saf's hair. The blue strands spilling from under her priestess veil sparkled in the sunlight. To a stranger, she would truly seem like a saintess.
"If you've come about the religious trial, I hope you know my thoughts haven't changed. I might really be a demon."
Saf spoke with a cold, impassive expression sufficient to invite misunderstanding. Her tone was flat and monotone, without inflection.
'If she treats a proud noble girl kindly with that face and voice, the intent will be misinterpreted. In such cases, she needs to learn how to package kindness as kindness, but I don't want to let Saf resort to such calculations.'
Danel, who had known Saf since she was a child, could immediately tell that this girl was afraid and sad right now.
"Saf, why are you thinking such scary thoughts?"
"I've been wrong to hide it for so long. The orphanage children saw me and cried in terror. Didn't Director Julia say anything? Apparently, many kids are having nightmares because of me now."
"There are plenty of things that make children cry and give them nightmares. When I was young, I saw a deer charging at me in the field, got terrified, and had nightmares for a week. But that deer was just fleeing a hunter and happened to pass by me. Does that make the horned deer a demon to me? To the deer, the hunter was the demon."
Danel added more directly.
"If we're assigning blame for that incident, shouldn't we say it was the wicked jealousy of Princess Alma that sparked the evil deed?"
"You've always taught that demons are relative. In that sense, Princess Alma is the same. She's a kind-hearted young girl. It's just that those around her are pushing her."
"It's unpleasant to hear you, who should be evading that wicked little princess's defense, defending her. Enough of that. I don't have much time. I don't want to waste our precious farewell with you on such things."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm leaving with Jade to find the Holy Grail."
"Jade... Father?"
Saf asked flatly. Still in her expressionless, dry tone. But Saf expressed herself through her body instead of expressions.
Right now, Saf was clenching both fists and tapping her legs against the chair below. It meant she was surprised and tense.
"Yes, the Jade you know."
"But Father, you're excommunicated and confined to Gerba Monastery right now."
"I've pulled some strings here and there to make that go away. Jade is officially a priest of the Rom Clergy Council again. And he's at Vestan Cathedral right now."
Saf was so shocked she nearly jumped out of her seat.
"He's in Rom? Then why didn't he come with..."
Saf stopped mid-sentence.
Danel asked.
"Why didn't he come with me?"
"...No. It's good that he didn't come with you. Meeting a child like me would only tarnish your reputation. I wrote that in my last letter a month ago. I said I wouldn't write again."
"Jade said something similar... but it seems your letter didn't reach him."
Saf's last letter must have arrived when Jade was imprisoned in Baron Valtion's dungeon. Danel didn't mention it.
"What do you mean, the same thing?"
Saf asked.
"Jade said he thought his presence would harm you, so he couldn't meet you."
"That's ridiculous!"
Saf shot up from her seat. And as if it were Danel's fault for making her feel that way, she raised her voice.
"I once dreamed of taking charge of a parish when Father Jade became a priest, building a convent next to his cathedral, and serving him. But that was all a dream. A horned monster like me can't be beside a noble priest like him. I should have realized it sooner, but I only understand now. God showed me with this horn that I don't deserve it."
"That's impressive, Saf. Where? That window over there? The place where God appeared. Or did the saintess statue move its mouth and say that? That your horn is proof you're a monster? Did you hear it say that directly?"
"How can you say such things?"
Saf chewed her lips for a long time as if even voicing such simple logic was absurd, then spoke.
"God only shows evidence, never speaks directly. You know that."
"I don't know. All I know is no one knows that."
Saf closed her eyes and shook her head.
"Don't say that. I've finally steeled my heart, so why shake it? Why do you always speak as if I did nothing wrong, giving me hope?"
Saf knelt before Danel and pressed her cheek to his knee. She had done that often as a child, and even now, she hadn't broken the habit. Or perhaps she didn't want to.
"Why can't I cry? I want to cry now... I want to sob like everyone else, but no tears come. Why am I like this?"
Danel didn't answer. He could only say he didn't know, and he'd already said it dozens of times.
Saf lifted her head again to look up at Danel and asked.
"Where are you going to find the Holy Grail?"
"I don't know where. But it has to be the Eastern Continent. That's where it was found and where it disappeared."
"That's too far. And too dangerous. How long will it take?"
"I've traveled many places, but this isn't just going and coming back. It might take a year or ten years."
"Then I'll be alone again in the meantime."
Danel stroked the head of Saf, who had her face against his knee, and asked.
"Don't you have friends here? Director Julia is here too."
Saf answered, feeling Danel's touch with her eyes closed.
"Even Director Julia wouldn't touch my head like this. She's afraid. But you and Father Jade aren't afraid at all. Father Jade even grabbed my horn when we first met and asked if it felt anything."
Saf slowly lifted her face from his knee and removed her hat. The horn growing from her crown was about two finger-widths long and white as ivory.
Saf grasped the horn with her index and thumb, shook it lightly, and said.
"He shook it around asking if it hurt. I said the horn doesn't hurt, but shaking it makes my head dizzy. Father Jade said sorry and ruffled my hair. I still remember it as clearly as if it were yesterday."
Saf released the horn and continued.
"I want to sit face-to-face with you like this and talk for days, Father Danel. I want to see Father Jade too. But you're leaving for that faraway place again? I'm alone. I'll face the religious trial after all. If I'm declared a witch, I'll gladly mount the pyre. Maybe the fire will save me."
"You have much to answer for to Director Julia. It seems she taught you overly harsh doctrines while I was away."
"She said right words can sometimes be harsh."
"Well. Shouldn't we first check if that's right? Even Saint Magdaloa was branded a witch, dragged out by her own followers, and burned. Now they say those followers were possessed by devils, but by the standards of the time, it was a just verdict."
Saf couldn't reply and her hands trembled.
Danel gripped both her hands tightly.
"Saf, there are other ways."
"What way? Fleeing, as the director said?"
"Come with us."
"Where?"
"To retrieve the Holy Grail."
"That's absurd. A monster like me can't join such a holy quest."
"Why is our journey a holy quest?"
"Of course it's holy. Going to retrieve the fourth holy relic God gave to humanity."
"First, is that Grail really a holy relic? The Emperor wants to smash it if he judges it isn't. It could be a demon's curse, not God's gift."
Just hearing the word "demon" made Saf's hands, holding Danel's, tense up.
"Still, I can't. I'd only hinder the journey."
"You'd be a hindrance, sure. We'd always have to prepare meals for three, pay lodging for three. By that logic, no one in the world could travel with anyone else. We should think about how much more help another person provides."
"You think I'd be helpful?"
"Yes. Very much so."
"In what way?"
"In my opinion, you're at least better at cooking than Jade."
"That's all...?"
"Food is the third most important thing on a journey. And you'll be even more helpful in the second, which is more important."
"What's second?"
"Luck. I've told you often, haven't I? You're a child of luck. Luck rolls in on its own even if you sit still. Sometimes like a miracle, sometimes like magic."
"If I had that luck, my hat wouldn't have come off then. Even if Princess Alma schemed."
Danel released Saf's hand and closed his eyes gently.
"Maybe that was luck for you. Without it, Director Julia wouldn't have handed you over. The convent's reputation surely rose after you came. The rumor of the blue-haired saintess helped spread it. But now, your existence has become a huge burden, a headache that must be resolved somehow."
Danel opened his eyes again and smiled.
"Well, if you wish, Director Julia will gladly entrust you to me. You're not an official nun, so traveling with two male priests isn't sacrilege, and no one will oppose it."
Saf clasped her hands over her lower abdomen and fell silent for a moment. Her expression seemed to show firm refusal. But Danel read her hesitation in the fidgeting of her hands and her restlessness.
"Even if you were useless in those first two, you have the most important first element. That alone means you won't hinder me or Jade."
"What's first...?"
"Whether that person is someone we want to travel with."
Saf drew in a deep breath.
"Saf, Jade and I like you. Very, very much. And having someone you like by your side the whole journey isn't a hindrance—it's a blessing."
Danel urged without urging, with gentle words.
"You don't need to decide right now, so don't panic. Pray a bit and consult Director Julia. You'll need to pack for the long journey. And that's the same for me. I need to go home briefly to prepare for being away so long. You know where my house is?"
Saf dropped her clenched arms to her sides and slowly nodded.
"If you're ready, come to my house directly? I'll be there until noon. If we miss each other, come to Vestan Cathedral."
"What if we miss each other there too?" Saf finally spoke. And hurriedly added.
"Of course, I haven't decided to go yet. As you said, I need to consult the director, weigh how great a sin I'd commit by following you two, and see if I can bear it."
Danel already knew she had decided.
"People inevitably sin against the world just by living. If you come with us, you'll commit some wrong against us. But in return, you'll bring us the joy of companionship and luck. No matter how great your wrongs, ours will be far greater."
"Would Father Jade think the same?"
"Ask him yourself."
Danel stood, brushed off his clothes, and stepped out.
"Oh, about missing each other—no need to worry. I told you, you're a child of luck. Go where you want, and you'll arrive where you wish. Of course, the earlier, the less chance of missing."
Danel left the chapel.
Saf followed him to the door. Her fingers, placed on her lower abdomen, were still fidgeting with each other.
"If you don't come, this is farewell here. Be well, Saf. But if you do..."
Danel raised his hand slightly.
"...see you soon."
Saf raised her hand in greeting too. But she didn't add any words.
As Danel walked toward the bored Bryon waiting, he said.
"Hurry, Bryon. Even a little faster means more rest for you."
Bryon followed behind Danel with his waddling steps.
"Back to Vestan Cathedral?"
"First, I need to stop by my house. Need to pack clothes, and pay several months' rent in advance before the landlord rents out my room while I'm gone."
"No way, a priest of your stature pays rent?"
Bryon asked, panting to keep up with Danel's quick pace.
"What, does someone of my stature not pay rent?"
"You're renowned and famous. Didn't the parish give you a house?"
"They didn't."
"No way?"
"Hmm, then to avoid becoming a rent-paying priest at your age, don't accumulate virtue or become famous. Be careful."
"Huh?"
"Less chatter, focus on walking. Why should I match a young man's slow pace? Walk faster."
"You're too fast, Father. My goodness, what mysterious power lets you walk like that at your age?"
"Become renowned and famous like me, then pay rent."
Bryon followed Danel down the hill almost at a run. Danel muttered to himself as he walked.
"Hmm, even hurrying like this, why do I keep feeling like we're somehow late?"