The Birth of the Vomit Hunter
A-Rank Gate has been cleared.
Rewards will be distributed according to contribution.
Your contribution rank: 3rd place.
Individual reward has been deposited to your invento—
I watched the stack of reward notifications pop up before my eyes.
"I'm sorry—Ji-hoon did what?"
"That's what I'm telling you. It's a total circus out there right now."
Rumors were spreading fast—that an F-rank hunter had cleared an unstable Gate, and that a mole inside the Hunter Administration Bureau had been flushed out.
Seriously, am I allowed to be operating this openly?
"Does that even make sense?"
For now, play dumb. Poppi and Choco had probably handled the clear for me. I was busy watching the video and prepping my cover story when—
"You watching the video?"
"Huh? Ah—yeah, I have to, don't I?"
"Woo-jae, you haven't eaten yet, have you?"
Seon Woo-jae tilted his head at that. "No, I haven't. We just cleared it, so I was about to go grab food."
"Hmm... honestly, I'd advise against it."
"?"
"Why is the title like that?"
"You'll see... and then you'll understand."
Woo-jae stowed his gear into his inventory and checked the screen his comrade was holding out to him.
And then—
"...Ugh."
"Told you I'd advise against it."
On the screen, a slime dripping with every manner of filth was vomiting directly onto a woman.
It wasn't just vomit, either. Everything the slime had swallowed until that moment—its hoard of stomach mucus, plus the spirit water conjured from the water spirit—had combined into some rare, unholy fluid, which it had then promptly brought back up. In other words, a liquid blended from the entire contents of the slime's insides, fine particles and all, went pouring into the woman's mouth, nose, and ears—
"Ugh—ugh, gross..."
"You saw it, huh?"
"Wh... what is this?"
"Word is, that's how the F-rank took that woman down."
...
...
A long silence followed.
"Th-the comments..."
The comments were a whole other spectacle.
Woo-jae paused the video and zoomed in.
Where's Poppi? Where's Choco?
They're not in frame?
Nope. Nowhere.
Woo-jae handed the phone back to his comrade, clenched his fist, and looked up at the sky.
"Stay strong, hyung..."
After stopping Bae Yu-na's mana rampage, the Hunter Administration Bureau had arrested her and the Cameraman, and both were now in custody. Locked up in a dedicated hunter prison, so no real issues there.
The biggest problem, as usual, was this:
"Yo, Vomit Hunter! 'Sup?"
"Show me the slime! I need to go on a diet!"
"You wouldn't happen to have an appetite-suppression debuff too, would you? Kehahahaha!"
That was what greeted me every time I walked toward the camp cafeteria. And it didn't stop there.
"Heard he's been strutting around with borrowed S-rank equipment."
"I feel so bad for Hunter Baek Kang-hyun."
"The branch chief worked so hard to raise him, and the kid sullied it with bodily fluids?"
And barely a single day had even passed.
"So let me get this straight. In less than twenty-four hours, my image has gone from 'guided by an S-rank hunter and kitted out in S-rank gear' to 'a worthless F-rank who fights by vomiting all over people'?"
At my words, Kim Ji-eun and the rest of Team C nodded slowly.
Haah...
What on earth had even happened?
And to top it all off, there'd been a text from Woo-jae that morning:
That little punk.
Sighing deeply, I looked around at the members of Team C and picked up my spoon.
"Well, we've gotta eat, right?"
Clatter—
"Enjoy your meal."
"..."
"..."
Clatter, clatter—
"..."
"..."
Nobody said a word.
Now what's wrong with everyone?
"Why is nobody eating?"
"I'm sorry, I've lost my appetite..."
"Me too. Ugh, I'm sorry."
"Why are you all being like this, seriously?"
Kim Ji-eun and Kang Gi-tae turned their heads away from their food. Watching them, Kim Jin-woo let out a small breath and spoke up carefully.
"The shock must have been too great."
"Shock?"
"W-we saw the slime's attack up close and personal, after all..."
Excuse me? You were all perfectly fine when we were capturing Bae Yu-na!?
"It's... it's like my mind got cleansed or something, so the memory is just too vivid..."
"I can even remember the smell... ugh..."
"You people, that wasn't puke, it was mucus? It's a legitimate weapon. A. Weapon."
"A weapon... that pukes..."
"Ugh, forget it."
Nothing's getting through, huh.
From what I'd heard, Kim Jin-woo and Lee Min-jae hadn't seen it because they'd been flung far away, but Kang Gi-tae and Kim Ji-eun had watched the slime's projectile—er, attack—from front-row seats.
"It showed up in my dreams..."
"Ji-eun, you were in the back. I was in front, and it puked... right over my head..."
Anyway, apparently the trauma was hitting them on a delay or something.
"Ugh, seriously, why did they edit that video like that?"
They'd even captured the moment Bae Yu-na dodged the slime's... discharge, only to swallow it whole. I get that the camera was centered on me, but wasn't that a bit much?
[These wretches have no gratitude for the grace of being rescued by you, Brother! Education is required!]
[Brother, should I just dunk them all? What do I do?]
[Say the word, Elder Brother, and I shall seize those insolent wretches by their insolent necks and—]
Thank you. You three are all I have.
A single tear of gratitude rolled down Ji-hoon's cheek.
Kim Jin-woo gave a small smile as he looked at Poppi, Choco, and Ddubu.
"Anyway, that's how it is, so please try to understand, Ji-hoon."
"Yeah, yeah... ugh, now my own appetite's going too."
That day, the hunter cafeteria recorded its first leftover food in a long, long time.
In the wake of the incident, the Hunter Administration Bureau had descended into utter chaos. The revelation that a mole had been operating inside their walls exposed a critical lapse in internal security—a blunder more than sufficient to draw fire from the press, public opinion, and every rival guild in the country.
"How's it going?"
"We've issued statements to the media for now."
Commissioner Lee Kyung-moon clicked his tongue. When you got right down to it, this returnee camp had itself been an operation to uncover the conditions for mutant Gate generation—and right in the middle of it, this variable had blown up in their faces.
He'd considered the possibility of a mole, yes. But never in his wildest imaginings had he expected an ambush at a camp with three S-ranks on site, in the middle of a simulation mission, no less.
"And the prisoners?"
"They're simply being held. No results from questioning yet."
"They won't talk easily, then. Anyone magically gagging them or anything?"
"No, sir. No traces of skill use whatsoever."
At Baek Kang-hyun's report, Lee Kyung-moon rose slowly from his seat, pressing more strength into his legs than usual, his frame heavier than ever.
"Fetch him."
"I was wondering what the sudden call was about..."
The summons had come from Commissioner Lee Kyung-moon and Baek Kang-hyun. To summarize: they were going to interrogate Bae Yu-na and the Cameraman, and they wanted me there.
"Like my presence is going to accomplish anything."
[Brother, I am the God of Torture. Shall I begin with their eyes? A single feather, and—]
"Please don't finish that sentence..."
Poppi said horrifying things with a perfectly straight face. Choco kept raising and lowering his quills. Ddubu let venom drip steadily from her mouth.
And so I brought all three of them into the Bureau's detention facility.
The first to greet us was Jin Seo-yoon.
"Welcome, Vomit Hunter."
"Oh, come ON!"
"WAHAHAHAHAHA! I mean, how does a nickname like—pfft, BAHAHAHA!"
Ji-hoon's face went scarlet. And Jin Seo-yoon and Yoon Do-ha gleefully piled on.
"Poppi."
[Yes, Brother! Just give the order!]
"Let's kill Jin Seo-yoon first."
[Your command is received!]
Shaaaaa—
FWOOSH—!
Poppi's feathers blazed with radiant golden light. Only then did Jin Seo-yoon manage to wrestle her laughter under control and raise both hands in surrender.
"Ah—aha, sorry, sorry. It's just, YouTube is too funny."
"People have such sharp instincts these days, whipping up a nickname like that on the spot. You're all over the Shorts too, Hunter Ji-hoon!"
You're a celebrity now!
WAHAHAHAHAHA!
...
Should I just flip them off?
Ji-hoon's fingers twitched.
No. Endure. Endure it, Ji-hoon.
What can you expect from S-rank lunatics? It falls to me—the F-rank and only sane person here—to be the adult.
"Now, now, that's enough, both of you. Please bear with it, Hunter. So what if they call you Vomit Hunter! You're the man who truly saved the nation!"
"...The Commissioner is the worst of the lot."
Ignore it, ignore it. Filter all useless noise straight out of my ears.
"So—how far did the interrogation get?"
Yoon Do-ha ran down the summary.
First: Bae Yu-na and the Cameraman had the same backer. Second: the mana rampage item Bae Yu-na had used had evaporated completely, leaving no evidence. Third: nothing unusual had turned up in the Cameraman's footage.
"So basically, they're nothing but small fry?"
"More or less, yeah. No usable intel came out of them."
"Which is precisely why we've asked for you, Ji-hoon."
Baek Kang-hyun stepped out of the interrogation room and adjusted his gloves.
"Anything else I should know?"
"Nothing."
Baek Kang-hyun shook his head. Jin Seo-yoon and Yoon Do-ha wore pained expressions. Lee Kyung-moon told me there was simply no other option left.
"I'm truly sorry to ask this, but would you go in and speak with them yourself, Hunter Ji-hoon?"
"Hmm..."
Truth be told, there were things I wanted to say to Bae Yu-na and the Cameraman.
"All right. My kids can come in with me, right?"
"Of course!"
That made three thoroughly dependable bodyguards. Nothing anyone tried in there would scare me.
"Shall we head in right now?"
"Are you certain? I could accompany you—"
"I'm fine. Get some rest, Branch Chief."
Still, I should bring something in with me. Call it an interrogation gift basket.
"Hell Market."
I opened the Hell Market, careful not to be seen, picked out a few items with the Dephor I had on hand, and walked into the interrogation room with Poppi, Choco, and Ddubu at my heels.
Bae Yu-na sat bound to her chair, head hanging low. The Cameraman, for his part, was strapped to his seat with his head tilted all the way back, like a man who had given up on absolutely everything.
"Hello there?"
"..."
Bae Yu-na's face lifted slowly from where it had been buried against her chest, and then—
"...You son of a—!"
"Whoa! You startled me!"
"You—YOU! You did that on purpose!"
"Did what? Ugh, that smell. What is that?"
"You did it, you absolute lunatic!"
Who pukes mid-combat anyway!?
Bae Yu-na was screaming like a woman possessed.
Wow. But that smell, though...
So Ji-eun and Gi-tae weren't exaggerating after all...
"I'll tell the Bureau to let you wash up, Bae Yu-na. Don't worry."
"That's not the point right now!"
"Oh, come on. I'm offering to get rid of the smell. Whoa! Seriously, back up!"
Unbelievable! Getting hit by my own slime's weapon! What an oversight on my part!
"Ahem. No, no—remember, you must love even your slime's stench. That's what it means to be a Tamer. That's what it means to be a farmer!"
Yeah, yeah.
I'd managed the waste of every monster on the farm, Poppi and Choco included. This was nothing.
"Anyway—Mister Cameraman?"
"...Haah."
"I was stronger than you expected, wasn't I?"
"Gear-carried trash who wins by spamming equipment. Big deal."
Crackle—
Okay, sure, I'm an F-rank, but keep rubbing it in and honestly, yeah, it does start to sting?
"Look at this. You filmed everything so badly that I got saddled with a ridiculous nickname."
"Kill me."
"Um, I'd appreciate an actual answer to what I—"
"I said kill me."
Well, that's that.
The Cameraman muttered his words to the ceiling, and at them, Ji-hoon straightened up.
"Okay. Then take one of these each."
Toss—
Toss—
Ji-hoon dropped a different item onto each of their laps.
◈ A universal cure-all that treats any status ailment.
◈ Exceptionally effective against disease.
◈ Sates hunger and temporarily amplifies mana.
The Ultra-Concentrated Panacea went to Bae Yu-na; the snack pack went to the Cameraman.
Ji-hoon turned to leave—but just as he reached the door—
"...Wait."
"No need to thank me."
"...How did you know?"
How did I know? Please.
She'd been acting like a woman with a story ever since the kidnapping. Did they really think no one had run a background check?
Granted, that background check had been performed by Poppi and Ddubu, but still.
"Make good use of the panacea. And don't fight any more pointless battles."
"..."
"See you around."
"H-hey! Why did you give ME this!?"
"Oh, that?"
Ji-hoon blinked, then answered.
"Because you're someone's dog?"
And with that, Ji-hoon walked out of the interrogation room.
A torrential downpour of every curse word in the language chased him out from behind—but thanks to Poppi instantly unfurling a soundproofing barrier, not a single word of it reached his ears.