Memories of Childhood
The fact that I held the right to decide Karina’s fate was truly a stroke of luck.
Yet the current situation was nothing short of awkward. No matter whose side I took between Illid and Hellion, the other would undoubtedly feel deeply insulted.
Both men’s gazes were fixed on me. A headache began to throb at my temples.
“What the Northern Archduke said is entirely correct.”
After careful deliberation, I finally spoke in a gentle voice.
“As the Archduke pointed out, we cannot judge everything solely by the outcome. Even the chief horseman of the imperial palace, renowned for his unmatched skill with horses, could not control the situation. No matter how familiar His Majesty’s horse may be with the emperor, trusting the word of a mere maid would have been a gamble. That this maid managed to calm His Majesty’s horse was simply good fortune.”
The moment my words ended, Hellion wore a smug, triumphant expression. In contrast, Illid’s eyebrows twitched in a strange manner.
“However…”
The real point came now. This time, I continued in a firmer tone.
“Blindly following rules at all times is not wise, nor is recklessly choosing risk. The best approach is to make the appropriate choice according to the circumstances.”
“……”
“The Northern Archduke aimed his gun at the horse but ultimately did not fire. In words, he followed protocol, yet his instincts chose the path of risk. And as we all know, the result…”
I deliberately smiled more brightly and shrugged my shoulders.
“His Majesty remains safe, and the horse he cherishes has been calmed. Now imagine if, upon waking, His Majesty learned that his beloved horse had been executed. The heartbreak would have been immense.”
I walked past Illid and Hellion, approaching the prison cell where Karina was confined. I pulled the iron ring on the cell door, and with a heavy clank, it swung open.
“The Northern Archduke made a wise decision. Therefore, I believe the best way to conclude this matter is to show mercy to this pitiful maid.”
While my words praised Hellion, the conclusion ultimately sided with Illid. This was the only way to free Karina without openly choosing one man over the other.
“You should thank the Duchess of Wintera.”
Hellion watched with displeasure as Karina stepped out of the cell.
“She went so far as to speak words she didn’t mean just to save you.”
Oh dear. I had thought I was being subtle, but it seemed Hellion had already seen through my intentions.
Still, the fortunate part was that he raised no further objections. He turned away coldly, leaving me and Illid behind, and exited the underground prison.
“It seems the one who made the wise choice was not the Northern Archduke, but the Duchess herself.”
Illid murmured with an amused tone as he stared at the spot where Hellion had disappeared.
“It must have been a difficult dilemma, yet you skillfully found the optimal solution.”
“Are you enjoying this?”
I glared at Illid with a thoroughly irritated expression.
“Asking me to choose between the cowardly man of the South and the brave man of the North? How could you push the judgment onto me using such provocative metaphors?”
“I simply took a little risk of my own. I was curious how you would respond when Hellion and I stood in opposition—who you would side with, and in what manner.”
Ha. So this man had been testing me? His answer left me speechless.
Count Silanda had been right. Illid was an exceptionally clever man.
“Today you managed to slip away as smoothly as a snake crossing a wall, but you won’t be able to do so next time. When that moment comes…”
“When that moment comes, what?”
Even at my sharp retort, Illid smiled kindly as he always did.
“You will have no choice but to pick a side.”
Leaving behind those meaningful words, Illid climbed the stone steps and left the underground prison.
Now, only Karina and I remained in the dark cell.
“I’m sorry, Duchess. I’ve put you in a difficult position by making you protect me…”
Karina’s voice was still thick with unshed tears.
“And thank you. For shouting at the Northern Archduke not to shoot me, for trusting me enough to let me give the herbs to His Majesty—everything.”
“You’re mistaken. Even if it had been someone else instead of you, I would have acted the same way.”
I deliberately responded in a colder tone. But that was not the truth. The moment Hellion had aimed his gun at Karina, the only thought in my mind had been that she must be saved.
I couldn’t explain why. She had always been an irritating, abrasive presence to me—like sand inside a shoe. It would have been far more comfortable to erase her completely.
Yet the reason I couldn’t let her die in that moment was… most likely the pity that still lingered in a corner of my heart.
“By the way…”
I pointed at the various herbs and gold coins laid out on the stone table.
“Did you truly pick herbs from the imperial garden and sell them?”
“Yes…”
“Why? Was the weekly wage from the imperial family not enough?”
“No, it’s not that…”
Karina’s face turned bright red as she bit her lip. When I narrowed my eyes and pressed her, she finally spoke hesitantly.
“I was saving money. So that someday… I could buy back the necklace for you, Duchess.”
Ah. The family necklace.
In truth, I had completely forgotten that the necklace was in my possession. To her, it must have been an object she could never forget even for a single moment.
“You were lucky this time, but you won’t be so fortunate next time. Stop picking herbs.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Now go and rest.”
Perhaps because I had been tense all day, fatigue began to wash over me. I desperately wanted to soak my body in warm water.
I turned toward the stone steps to leave the prison.
“Duchess!”
At that moment, Karina called out to me. She hurried over with a handful of herbs and held them out.
“Please brew this herb for His Majesty the Emperor. It is a medicinal herb that induces deep, restful sleep for an exhausted body.”
After confirming with the palace physician that the herbs posed no problem, I brewed the tea.
Fortunately, His Majesty fell into a deep sleep after drinking it. He had always suffered from severe insomnia. It had been a very long time since he had slept so peacefully.
“There’s a little tea left.”
One more serving remained in the pot. I was about to discard it when a certain person suddenly came to mind.
I poured the remaining tea into a small cup. It was rather late, but it should still be acceptable.
A short while later, I arrived at that person’s quarters and knocked on the door.
Knock, knock—
“I told you not to disturb me.”
“Your Grace the Archduke. It is the Duchess of Wintera.”
The servant attending Hellion answered quickly.
— …
Yet there was no response from inside the room. The servant looked awkward and spoke toward the door again.
“The Duchess has brought tea. If you keep her waiting outside, the tea will get cold…”
At those words, the door finally opened. Hellion silently gestured for me to come in.
So this is how he lives.
Still holding the teacup, I looked around Hellion’s room for the first time.
His chamber was filled with decorations made from animal pelts.
A carpet of black bear fur covered the floor, and mounted heads of horned beasts—stags, bison, and the like—adorned the walls.
Behind glass cases on the wall, knives crafted from elephant ivory and the fangs of fierce predators were displayed by size. On the coat rack hung the wolf-fur cloak that Hellion often wore.
I had never visited the Northern Archduchy, but seeing his room made it easy to imagine the castle of the previous Northern Archduchess, Alensia.
“What brings you here at this hour?”
Hellion, leaning back in an ochre chair, swept his red hair back as he asked.
“I brewed a tea that is said to bring deep sleep. You had quite a difficult day today as well, didn’t you, Your Grace? I thought of you and brought a cup.”
“If that’s the case, take it to Illid. Something like today is only difficult for a southern coward. It was nothing to me.”
Hellion snorted as if he found the idea ridiculous. It seemed he still held a grudge against Illid for opposing his decision.
“Your Grace…”
“And for heaven’s sake!”
Hellion burst out in irritation at the title “Your Grace.” He roughly tousled the hair he had just smoothed back, venting his frustration.
“Can’t you drop that title when it’s just the two of us? We grew up fighting and brawling every single day, yet now that we’re a little older, hearing ‘Your Grace this’ and ‘Duchess that’ feels so awkward I can’t stand it. Seriously.”
Contrary to his intense reaction, I burst into laughter.
He was right—we had fought almost every day.
But Hellion was four years younger than me. Childhood memories usually fade with the passage of time, yet he remembered it all so clearly.
“You really remember that time?”
Recalling those days made me unconsciously drop the formal speech.
“You were only six years old back then. How do you still remember?”
“You hit and pinched me so much. It would be stranger if I didn’t remember.”
I laughed brightly.
Even as a child, Hellion had been a mischievous little devil. He would doodle in the books I treasured, and he once sneaked into my room and released frogs he had caught from the pond.
Hellion was an incorrigible brat, and I was not the type to hold back. Back then, I still physically overpowered him, so I hit him quite often.
“Hellion only does that because he wants your attention, Ishtel. So please be patient.”
The slightly more mature Primos had tried to stop us, but it was useless. Instead of listening to him, I had been too busy trying to land even one more blow on Hellion.
“You were really cute back then…”
I murmured, lost in nostalgia.
“After you left the palace, I actually thought about you a lot. The friend I used to play with every day suddenly disappeared, so I missed you. I felt lonely.”
“……”
“Primos comforted me, saying we would meet again someday. But we were apart for such a long time. And even when we did meet, it was never under happy circumstances.”
“Both times were funerals.”
At the word “funerals,” the atmosphere between Hellion and me grew heavy at once. I fell silent, and Hellion unconsciously reached for the cup and drank the tea in one gulp.