Your Misfortune
The ceremony to bestow the title of Duchess of Rockfelt was now only a week away.
During that time, Karina had changed the surname listed as ‘Linton’ to ‘Regentra.’ She was not becoming a formal member of our family, merely sharing the name, yet the nobles appeared utterly shocked.
They were especially fixated on the fact that Karina would receive the title once held by the late Empress. The loose-tongued nobles openly mocked their more dignified peers. What did you say back then? they jeered. Didn’t you claim there was something unusual between His Majesty and that maid?
Buoyed by their triumph, those same nobles turned their attention to their next target. What intrigued them now was the matter of precedence between Karina and me.
By title, we were both Duchesses. A crown princess naturally outranked the Emperor’s mistress, but since I no longer held the position of official crown princess, even that distinction had grown ambiguous.
Why did His Majesty choose that particular title and create such a mess…?
I could not begin to fathom the Emperor’s true intentions. Had it not been for the Duchess of Rockfelt title, neither I nor the other nobles would have reacted so strongly.
“Duchess, please come this way.”
I stepped into the banquet hall, where preparations were in full swing. Since every prominent noble would attend, the maids remained unaware of my presence, wholly absorbed in their assigned tasks.
It left a bitter taste in my mouth, yet there was nothing I could do for now. All I could do was hope that Karina would not tarnish the late Empress’s legacy.
To ensure that, I must make certain that not a single trace of the Empress remains on the day of the ceremony.
Even while knowing it would never happen, the nobles still wondered whether Karina could truly ascend to the Empress’s position. Such was the singular prestige of the Duchess of Rockfelt title.
I examined the tableware and ornaments placed nearby. Fortunately, Karina’s flamboyant tastes stood in stark contrast to the late Empress’s modest nature.
After surveying the interior decorations, I moved on to the dressing room, where the gown for the title bestowal ceremony was kept.
The maids showed me the dress Karina would wear: a lavish red cloak embroidered with golden thread and an ivory gown. It was the special attire reserved for a new woman entering the imperial family.
It was the garment I should have worn first. For anyone other than the rightful consort, it was even more inappropriate.
“What are you doing here?”
While I was inspecting the dress ornaments, a familiar voice sounded behind me. I turned to find Karina wearing a thoroughly irritated expression.
“I am the one with final authority over this event’s preparations, so I came to see for myself. Is there a problem?”
“As you said, you hold final authority. That doesn’t mean you need to appear midway through and supervise everything.”
She snatched the cloak from my hands and carelessly adjusted the dress on the mannequin.
Though nominally a title bestowal, the event was essentially a wedding. For someone on the verge of such a momentous occasion, Karina’s face was far from radiant.
“You have an important event ahead of you, yet your complexion is poor. No matter what others say, this is a ceremony equivalent to a wedding. Stop looking so gloomy.”
“It is not a wedding but a title bestowal. It means I will stand in the same position as the Duchess of Wintera. A truly joyous occasion.”
Karina’s words bristled with thorns. She spoke of joy, yet she looked anything but happy.
“Then why are you concerning yourself so meticulously with my affairs, Duchess? The more the ceremony is ruined, the better it should be for you, no?”
I gazed silently into Karina’s golden eyes. Even as a woman, I had once thought they possessed an eerily captivating beauty. Now, however, her appearance no longer seemed beautiful to me.
I let out a small sigh that only I could hear. Staring at the exquisite dress had suddenly brought back words His Majesty once spoke long ago.
“You’re at an age when you should be making friends, meeting a good man, and getting married… It pained me to see you covered in dirt, doing such grueling work.”
When I muttered absently, Karina gave me a puzzled look.
“Those were the words His Majesty said to me when you were still a stable maid. It was after hearing them that my heart wavered, and I brought you into the main palace.”
I looked at the tiara adorning the mannequin’s head. The jewel-encrusted piece was attached to a soft veil.
Perhaps I, too, had wished for what the Emperor had said that day. After confirming that she held no hostility toward me, I had wanted to find her a suitable match and see her married. If there was something she wished to do, I wanted to let her live doing it. I even thought it would be nice to exchange occasional letters inquiring after her well-being.
“But all of that has become impossible now…”
I had never imagined she would receive a title equivalent to that of my mother-in-law and remain in the imperial palace. It was something no one in the world could have predicted.
“So you’re saying you’re displeased that I didn’t marry some ordinary man and vanish from your sight, but instead received the title of Duchess?”
I had merely spoken out of sorrow for the wishes His Majesty and I could not fulfill. Yet Karina’s face flushed crimson, her agitation plain to see.
“Not everyone marries a prince like you did. Just because my fiancé, the crown prince, died doesn’t mean I get to live with other princes lined up waiting for me.”
Some part of my words must have struck Karina to the core.
“My sister was killed by the father of the child she bore. After watching that happen right beside her, do you really think I would meet a man, fall in love, and build a family? What others call an ordinary life is nothing but a distant fairy tale to someone like me.”
Veins stood out on her neck as she shouted.
“Someone like you, Duchess, who grew up in comfort, wouldn’t understand. Poor people will gladly take the remarriage bed of a half-dead old man if it means they won’t starve. So becoming His Majesty’s mistress is something others desperately envy because they cannot have it. Spare me your pointless pity.”
“You yourself know this is wrong.”
Karina, who had been about to shout more, suddenly fell silent. In the moment her words were cut off, I continued.
“You seem to be screaming and flailing to justify your own actions. Stop it. The sight is unpleasant.”
Truly, her current state was not a pretty one. If obtaining the Duchess title was her goal, she should have been lost in her own happiness, indifferent to anything I said.
If she had planned to use the ceremony to torment me, she should have been too busy meeting with Ebony Bladin to spare me any thought.
The fact that she was instead detaining me and picking a fight meant one thing: none of this was truly what she desired.
“Karina Regentra.”
I addressed her using the same surname as my own. Uttering that name, which felt like thorns in my mouth, was no easy task.
“Tell me what you want.”
“…What I want?”
“Yes. What you truly desire.”
The eyes that had burned with rage only moments ago quickly clouded with bewilderment. She stared at me with a dazed expression, as though she had never heard such words in her life. Hesitation and confusion mingled on her face.
“If you truly respect His Majesty and wish him well, you must realize how foolish this path you are taking is.”
It was common for members of the imperial family to take much younger second wives or mistresses. Most remained at the Emperor’s side for political reasons.
“I fear His Majesty will suffer negative judgment from the world and from history because of you. And it is obvious that you, too, will be used like a pawn and then discarded.”
The fates of mistresses were usually miserable. Once they were no longer useful to their political patrons, they were forced to bear every sin and cast aside without mercy. Karina would likely fare no differently.
“This is my last chance to stop you. If you seek wealth and honor, I will grant you another title. If Ebony Bladin has you by the ankle, I will ensure the Count cannot trouble you further.”
“…”
“It may seem like insufficient punishment to you, but Count Silanda has received a heavier sentence than any noble in history. You have lived in the imperial palace long enough to understand the weight of that. So I doubt this is about that matter.”
Karina kept her lips pressed tightly together in silence. I took that silence as tacit agreement.
“Therefore, if there is something you truly want, tell me. If it is within my power, I will grant it. If doing so makes you abandon this foolish endeavor, I will gladly listen to anything you ask.”
Karina turned her gaze slightly away from me. I waited quietly for her answer.
“What I desire cannot be fulfilled.”
She looked at me again.
“Since I am wishing for something impossible, there is no need to speak of it.”
Her voice was self-mocking, yet somewhere beneath it lay a trace of sorrow.
I had not thought the question would be so difficult. On the contrary, I had expected her to ask for many things—perhaps to be allowed to live with her nephew. Yet Karina kept her mouth firmly shut and ultimately refused to answer.
“Whatever it is, come find me when you feel ready to speak. There is still time before the title bestowal ceremony.”
“Ha, how very kind you are, Duchess. Someone like me has no leisure to worry about another person’s feelings…”
Karina let out a hollow laugh and swept back her long silver hair with one hand. Then, as though trying to steady her emotions, she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath.
“I simply hope you become as unhappy as I am.”
When Karina slowly opened her eyes again, an unexpected statement slipped from her lips.
“When you lose your family, bear the label of a traitor’s descendant, endure the pointing fingers of the world, and find yourself driven to the edge of a cliff—will you still be able to remain this calm and merciful? I am curious what expression you will wear once you become as unhappy as I am.”
The moment her words ended, the first emotion that rose in me was not anger or shock, but a profound sense of futility.
“Ha…”
I slowly closed my eyes and opened them again, staring directly at Karina’s face. Her expression was calm and eerily serene. I could tell these were not words spoken in a moment of anger, but something she had carried in her heart for a long time.
“So this is your answer. While I wished you would not be unhappy, you wished for my misfortune.”
Once the futility receded, a bitter wave of disillusionment took its place.
Asking her to name her desire had been a proposal for His Majesty’s sake, but it had also been for hers. Now that she would bear the same surname as me, I had hoped she would not sink any deeper into the mire.
I had wanted to understand her. Even if our positions were reversed, I knew I could not have harbored warm feelings toward someone who had lived the opposite life.
Until now, I had been able to understand her to some degree. I had tried to overlook every choice she made with the thought that it was only natural.
But the words wishing for my misfortune—those, I could not understand.