Birthday Gift
I went downstairs to the children’s room and tucked my nieces and nephews into bed one by one. On any other night they would have thrown tantrums, begging me to play until dawn. Today, however, perhaps weighed down by the trouble they had caused, they quietly pulled the blankets over themselves with their own small hands.
“But doesn’t he look like a prince to you too?”
“Yes! Just like the princes in the storybooks. He’s really tall and so handsome!”
Rubia declared, hugging the rabbit doll beside the bed with all her might. Rosien, face half-buried in his pillow, gave a solemn nod.
“He really was a wonderful prince. Honestly, he was even a little more handsome than Father, wasn’t he?”
“No. Our father is much more handsome.”
Unlike the relatively objective Rosien, Enrique—who adored his father—denied it fiercely. The sight was so endearing that I pulled the boy into my arms and pressed a light kiss to his cheek.
“Auntie.”
“Yes?”
“Are you really going to marry the prince?”
Rosien’s face was unexpectedly serious.
“The prince said he’s the one who’s going to marry you.”
Rosien was the child who sang, like a little song, that he would marry his aunt when he grew up. To his young heart, Hellion’s sudden appearance must have felt like the arrival of a rival.
Seeing his grave expression stirred my mischievous side. I swallowed my laughter and nodded gravely.
“What should we do, Rosien? The prince is right. I’ve decided to marry him. Will that be all right?”
Rosien, who had inherited only the loveliest features of Zar and Sylvia, was most adorable when he pouted like a duckling. I had teased him hoping to see exactly that face, but the boy simply nodded with calm acceptance.
“All right. It can’t be helped. I’ll step aside.”
Rosien wriggled deeper under the covers.
“Auntie, please tell the prince I’m sorry for pinching him. I was angry because he said he would marry you. Even so, he didn’t get mad at me. He might have a bruise on his hand.”
From beneath the thick blanket came Rosien’s muffled murmur. It seemed the child felt uneasy after throwing his tantrum at Hellion. I told him I would pass the message along, kissed each of them goodnight, and left the room.
I climbed the stairs once more and entered my own room at the far end of the corridor. Opening the door carefully, I found Hellion waiting inside.
It had been so long since I had seen him that joy bloomed in my chest, yet worry came out first.
“Hellion, how did you get here? The imperial family wasn’t supposed to attend the funeral.”
Members of the imperial family did not casually visit the private homes of nobles. Such a visit alone could spark dangerous political misunderstandings.
Besides, His Majesty the Emperor had despised the Marchioness of Lilche. For his own nephew to appear at her funeral would only earn the imperial uncle’s displeasure.
“Tomorrow is your birthday. I only meant to leave a gift in secret and slip away, but those little rascals…”
Hellion muttered in a deflated voice, glancing at the box he had set on the table.
“You really are…”
I couldn’t decide whether to call it courage or sheer recklessness. I reached out and took his hand. Just as Rosien had feared, there was no bruise.
“Did the children trouble you much?”
“Not at all. It’s fine. They asked for piggyback rides, so I gave them some. They did pull my hair a little, though.”
“That is troubling you. I’m sorry—our children can be quite mischievous.”
“Still, the girl was sweet. Rubia, was it?”
For the first time since entering the room, a smile touched Hellion’s previously dazed face.
“Rosien said he’d never seen red hair before and tugged on mine. Rubia stopped him. She even hugged me and apologized on his behalf. She really is sweet and bright.”
“Rubia is kind and clever. Actually, Rosien asked me to tell you he’s sorry. You told the children you’re the one marrying me, didn’t you? That’s why he threw his little fit.”
“Why would that upset him?”
“Because Rosien says he’ll marry me when he grows up.”
Hellion crossed his arms and gave a soft, helpless laugh.
“An aunt and her nephew can’t marry.”
“He’s too young to understand that. We should just find it cute.”
Hellion sighed and shook his head.
“No matter how I think about it, raising two boys feels exhausting. One son would be plenty.”
“It is difficult when they’re born so close together.”
“A daughter would be nice. Rubia was the sweetest and easiest to talk to earlier.”
“True. Raising Rubia feels like no work at all.”
“So one son and as many daughters as we like. What do you think?”
“That sounds wonderful. Wait—why are you asking me?”
The conversation had drifted into strange territory. Hellion’s eyes widened innocently.
“If not you, then who should I ask?”
He kept grinning, clearly enjoying my discomfort. Embarrassed, I fanned my burning cheeks with my hand.
“Hellion… what’s wrong with your eye?”
The room had been too dim for me to notice before, but now I saw it clearly. What I had mistaken for shadow beneath his brow was actually a vivid blue bruise.
“Did you fall while climbing the wall? Surely no one would dare hit you.”
I reached toward his face. Hellion startled and jerked away.
“It’s not a bruise! It’s just a shadow from the darkness.”
“Enough. Come here and sit down.”
I grabbed him and forced him onto the bed. Looking down at him now, the injury was unmistakable—a deep purple shadow ringed his eye.
“What happened?”
There was no one sane who could have done this to Hellion. He moved with too much precision to have simply fallen. How, then, had this occurred?
“…This is exactly why I wanted to leave the gift without showing my face.”
When I continued to press him, Hellion finally confessed.
“I was hit.”
“By whom…?”
“By my cousin.”
“What?! Why? How?”
I raised my voice, forgetting that my brother and his wife were in the room across the hall. Hellion quickly pressed a finger to my lips, urging silence.
“The day you headed to the marquis’s estate, you left the palace in a hurry. I thought you wouldn’t return for some time, so I went to greet you. But you had already gone. As I was turning to leave, I saw Illid coming out of your quarters.”
He was speaking of the day I had ended things with Illid.
“I don’t know what happened between you, but he looked half out of his mind. The moment he saw me, his eyes changed completely. He charged at me like a different person.”
Hellion grimaced, as though the memory itself was distasteful, and let out a sigh.
“What did he say…? It happened so suddenly that I barely remember, but he shouted that everything was your fault, that if only you weren’t here—something like that—and then…”
Looking embarrassed, Hellion pointed at his own eye.
“Still, that blow came without warning. I couldn’t dodge it. I wasn’t hit again after that.”
When my expression darkened, Hellion quickly added the reassurance. It did little to ease the guilt flooding through me.
I had never imagined something like this would happen while I was away from the palace. I should never have left Illid behind in my quarters. Or perhaps if I had at least said goodbye to Hellion before departing, none of this would have occurred.
Staring at the bruise on his face, a wave of remorse washed over me. I retrieved a jar of ointment from the drawer beside the bed.
I dabbed the white salve onto my fingertip and gently brought it to the skin beneath his eye. At my touch, Hellion flinched. At first he glanced around awkwardly, then a shy smile curved his lips and he closed his eyes.
“Still… I like this. Having you worry about me. Maybe I should just let myself get hit next time too?”
“Ugh, don’t even joke about that.”
I poked his forehead with the same finger I had used to apply the ointment. Hellion only laughed softly, clearly in a good mood.
“So you just stood there and took it?”
“I blocked and dodged.”
“You fool—if someone hits you, you hit them back!”
“That’s true, but… I’m already in His Majesty’s bad graces. If I brawled with Illid on top of that, I’d only make things worse.”
The playful grin vanished; Hellion’s shoulders slumped at once.
“Even so, His Majesty placed Illid under house arrest. He summoned him, gave him a severe scolding, and banished him to the separate palace. For now he cannot return to the main palace.”
“His Majesty went that far…?”
“Yes. And that same night he came to find me. We shared a meal and took a walk together. For one bruise, I’d call it a rather good outcome.”
Hellion spoke lightly, as though it truly meant nothing. My heart, however, ached.
Tears threatened to spill. Though he rarely showed it, Hellion truly cared for Illid. The thought that I had damaged the bond between them weighed heavily on me.
“You must be tired. I’ve kept you too long. I should go now, Ishtel.”
Hellion picked up the box from the table and offered it to me.
“I wanted to pay my respects to the Marchioness as well, but the situation made it impossible… So instead, happy birthday, Ishtel. You’ve received many words of condolence, but I suspected you might not have heard any congratulations. I wanted to be the one to say it.”
A strange feeling settled over me. The day I bid my grandmother eternal farewell happened to be my birthday. To receive congratulations rather than condolences on such a day felt oddly bittersweet.
Sometimes sorrow and joy arrive together, leaving us bewildered. Tears fall even as happiness blooms; we smile while a quiet pain presses against our hearts.
I have always been someone who feels sadness more keenly than joy. In the years to come, my birthdays would likely bring memories of my late grandmother and waves of grief.
Yet I thought I might still be able to smile, even if only faintly. The reason was the man before me—the one who kept me from being swallowed whole by that sorrow.
I looked down at the box in my hands, then lifted my gaze to Hellion. Beneath the soft glow of the lantern, his blue eyes held my reflection completely.
Once the funeral ended, I would have to return to the imperial palace. But I did not want to go. I did not know how to face an emperor who despised me, nor how I should treat Illid from now on.
Still, I carried too many burdens to think only of my own heart. I would have to bury these feelings and return to the palace.
Yet if Hellion was beside me, I believed I could endure it. Not only within the palace walls, but on every birthday yet to come—if he remained at my side, today’s mixture of comfort and joy might continue.
“Thank you, Hellion.”
It felt as though the unfamiliar emotion he had planted in my heart long ago was finally beginning to sprout.