Please Stop
“Family?”
“Yes. It’s the child my sister gave birth to, so of course it’s my family. Is there a problem…?”
“No, that creature is still running its mouth!”
When Sylvia shrieked, the Countess of Silanda stopped her. Sylvia stared at the countess with pure disbelief.
“Joanna. Why are you holding me back? For that matter, why did you even open the door? You should have thrown her out at once!”
Despite Sylvia’s reproach laced with frustration, the countess merely shook her head without a word. She was a woman beloved by many for her gentle nature and courteous manners. It was precisely because she was Joanna that she chose, even now, to restrain her sister-in-law rather than Karina.
The countess likely knew nothing of Esmeralda. She had simply accepted the child her husband brought home from outside and raised it as her own.
Yet the moment the tale of Count Silanda and Esmeralda spread through the capital, the countess must have sensed the truth. Every rumor had been real.
“I thought a married couple might resemble each other, but the countess is far kinder than your husband. At least you possess a trace of shame—you didn’t bar the door against me. Then again, that must be why you accepted the child your husband sired elsewhere.”
Karina staggered down the stairs, snatched the glass cup from the table, and drained it in one gulp. Then, as if venting her rage, she hurled it against the marble wall.
At the sharp crash, Sylvia screamed in fright. Karina curled one corner of her mouth into a bitter smirk, approached Sylvia and Joanna, and bent at the waist. She held no weapon, yet the aura around her was unmistakably threatening.
“Would you care to look into my eyes?”
Karina stared at Sylvia and prodded the skin beneath her own eyes with a finger.
“They say everyone in my family has eyes like these. Familiar, aren’t they? Don’t they look like something you’ve seen many times before?”
Sylvia bit her lip until it bled and glared at Karina with murderous intent. She, too, must have realized it—that Rubia’s eyes were identical to Karina’s.
Reading the panic on Sylvia’s face, Karina let out a loud, delighted laugh and pressed her harder.
“Duchess of Regentra! Aunt! Why are you silent? Why have you closed the very mouth that once called me a liar and a fraud?”
“You insane wench—now you’ve gone too far!”
Enraged at the way she spoke to his wife, Zahr seized Karina by the collar and shoved her violently. Her frail body flew backward and she landed hard on the floor.
“I don’t know where a thing like you crawled from to catch His Majesty’s eye, but don’t you dare put on airs. Do you even understand what family this is, that a mere maid would dare behave this way?!”
“Brother, stop!”
“Duchess of Regentra, I’m all right. Please, enough.”
I grabbed one of Zahr’s arms while the countess took the other. My brother could not quell his fury; he kept breathing in harsh, ragged gasps.
Sylvia, still seated on the sofa, finally lost control and burst into loud sobs. Because Karina was the maid cherished by the emperor, Zahr had no choice but to return to his chair without laying another hand on her. Even in this moment—when her own heart must have been in the greatest pain—the countess was the one comforting Sylvia.
“What a spectacle. So this is how nobles behave. How very noble of you. At least it’s entertaining.”
Karina lifted the hand she had braced against the floor. Blood trickled from a cut where a shard of glass had pierced her.
“It hurts…”
Karina murmured in a dreamy voice. Despite her words, her face remained utterly devoid of expression. For the person who had caused all this chaos, she looked impossibly calm.
Just then, the sound of small footsteps descended the stairs. I noticed it first and turned my head. Rubia was coming down, one hand gripping the wooden banister.
“Mommy…?”
At the child’s sleepy voice, every gaze swung toward the stairs. Karina, closest to the steps, reacted fastest.
“So you’re… Rubia.”
Karina smiled brightly and moved toward the child.
Disheveled hair, unfocused eyes. A smile that looked more like weeping. Blood on her hands. At the sight of Karina, who seemed half-mad, Rubia clutched the rabbit doll in her arms even tighter.
“She really… looks exactly the same. Except for the hair… she’s the very image of Esmeralda. She has our eyes.”
Karina stretched out her bloodstained hand toward Rubia. The child, however, turned away in fear.
“Mommy! Mommy!”
“Rubia!”
The little girl brushed past Karina and ran straight into the countess’s arms. Joanna pulled her daughter close, gently patting the small, trembling back.
“Mommy, who is that lady?”
Rubia asked in a tiny voice, arms wrapped around the countess’s neck. But none of us—neither Joanna, nor Zahr, nor Sylvia, nor I—could utter a single word.
“Make her go away. She scares me.”
When Rubia’s eyes met Karina’s, she flinched and buried her face in her mother’s shoulder. Soon the child began to whine.
“Mommy, where’s Daddy? We promised to go play today. Why isn’t he here? Hmm?”
At the innocent complaint, the adults could only fall silent once more. In the ruined household, nothing remained unbroken.
My brother and his wife decided to remain with the countess, who had been left alone in the mansion.
Karina and I walked out of the count’s residence with heavy steps. The sky hung low and dark, heavy with the promise of rain, and the air felt damp and thick.
Neither of us spoke as we crossed the garden. Karina kept her vacant gaze fixed on the ground, while I stared blankly at the sky, my chest tight with unease. When we reached the carriage bound for the imperial palace, Karina turned in the opposite direction.
“Where are you going?”
“…I intend to go home.”
“Home?”
“You visited once before, didn’t you? The shabby house behind Pleco Square. It looks like rain is coming, so I thought I might stop by after so long.”
Karina kept her face turned away, as though she could not bear to look at me. Her voice was bone-tired and completely flat.
Her steps were so unsteady she seemed barely able to hold herself upright. I had no idea what thoughts filled her mind, but every instinct told me I could not let her leave like this.
“That place is not your home.”
“…Pardon?”
Karina blinked her wide eyes, confused. I answered in a cold, unwavering voice.
“His Majesty has granted you a surname and even bestowed a title. There is a place where someone who needs you resides, yet you speak of going ‘home.’ The imperial palace is not a place you may linger in when it pleases you and abandon when it does not.”
“But…”
“I am exhausted beyond measure. I have no wish to speak at length, so get in the carriage.”
I seized Karina’s arm and pushed her inside. She sat upon the seat with a dazed expression.
The carriage had barely begun to move when thunder cracked overhead and a steady rain began to fall. Karina and I gazed out opposite windows, watching the rain streak down the glass. The noisy patter filled the silence between us.
“I thought revenge would bring me joy,” Karina murmured in a hoarse voice. “Instead, I feel even worse.”
“I wanted to tear that family apart, to take the child away… but a moment ago I realized something. The only way for everyone to be happy is if my sister and I simply disappear.”
“…”
“After seeing the child, it occurred to me. If my sister had witnessed the revenge I achieved, she would not have been purely glad. Because of me, Rubia will now live her entire life hounded by rumors of her birth. She will be pointed at and whispered about no matter whom she meets…”
“…”
“Happiness. Even someone like me, who knows little of it, could see that was a truly harmonious household. If only the impurities named my sister and I were erased… had I been Count Silanda, I might have made the same choice.”
“You need not think that way.”
I kept my eyes on the scenery beyond the window.
“You are the victim who lost her family. They are the perpetrators. Why should you try to understand his position? Instead of wasting time on such thoughts, tend to your own wounds and pain.”
“…”
“The count committed an unforgivable sin against you and your sister. Every emotion you feel now is his fault. Victims have no need to feel guilt under any circumstances. So do not try to understand him. You are allowed that. No—you must allow yourself that.”
I caught Karina’s reflection in the glass. She had turned to look at my back. Through the rain-streaked window, our eyes met.
“Duchess.”
Karina’s voice carried the weight of a decision.
“It is not too late. Please stop the carriage. I will return to where I truly belong.”
“Why?”
“If I return to the imperial palace now… I cannot guarantee what I might do in the days ahead.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I am warning you that you may come to regret this, Duchess.”
Regret. At that word I turned to face her. Despite the utter exhaustion etched across her features, her eyes burned with startling clarity.
I knew exactly what she meant. To gain revenge against Count Silanda, Karina had taken Ebony Bladin’s hand. Having received Ebony’s help this time, the next move would surely be hers—to act on Bladin’s behalf.
That would inevitably mean standing against me and the Regentra family. If Karina, favored by the emperor, allied herself with the Bladin house, she would become a formidable obstacle.
Yet…
“If it ends here, what will be left for you?”
“It is fine if nothing remains.”
“…”
“Since I have nothing to leave behind, I have no lingering attachments. There is nothing I wish to protect, nothing I long to hold. When one has no desires at all, stopping here does not seem so bad.”