A Chill in the Air
* * *
“Show him in at once.”
With those weak words, I reached for the hand mirror I’d left on the bedside table. I wiped away the dried tears clinging to the corners of my eyes and roughly tied back my disheveled hair.
The door soon opened, and Illid appeared.
“You’ve come, Your Grace? Cough.”
Just seeing him brought a smile to my face despite how ill I felt. To others it might have looked like a forced, sickly smile, but to me it was the best welcome I could offer.
“Yes.”
Yet Illid’s reaction was strange. I had expected worried eyes and gentle words of concern, but his aura was colder than the river water last night and more biting than the night wind.
Illid approached the bed where I lay with stiff, irritated steps. He shot a glance at Hellion, who sat beside me, then turned his gaze back to me.
“Was the cloak not warm enough?”
“Pardon…?”
“Or did you fall into the Kibir River?”
“…!”
Both Hellion and I flinched at the same time. I turned toward Hellion without thinking, wondering what on earth he meant. He turned to face me as well.
In his blinking eyes, I saw it. We were both completely blank.
“You climb walls rather well, don’t you?”
Illid’s sharp gaze now fixed on Hellion.
“I nearly shot you, thinking you were an assassin.”
“W-what are you talking about?”
“Don’t even think about running. I saw everything yesterday.”
Hellion stared at Illid in stunned silence. Illid, standing straight with one hand on his hip, looked at me again.
“I heard the Lantern Festival was being held yesterday, so I went up to the highest terrace in the palace. But something kept hovering near the outer wall. When I looked closer, it was a person, wasn’t it?”
“……”
“I almost fired the pistol I was carrying, thinking it was an assassin, but I recognized Hellion by his hair. After all, not many people have hair that red.”
“……”
“I watched to see where he was sneaking off to and saw him head for the duchess’s quarters. Then the two of you climbed down the wall together. In the middle of the night, no less.”
“……”
“It looked dangerous, so I thought about stopping you, but I was afraid Hellion might get startled and drop you. So I left you alone. You both looked absolutely thrilled.”
The blue eyes that had always been so gentle now felt as cold as ice. The scolding made me instinctively look away. Then his dagger-like voice stabbed into the back of my head.
“Are you a child? Climbing down a wall from that height? You could have left the palace in disguise with official permission anytime you wished. Even if Hellion suggested something so reckless, you as the duchess should have stopped him. Instead you went along with it?”
“Don’t scold Ishtel. She said no, but I kept insisting we go together.”
Hellion tugged at his cousin’s sleeve, his voice utterly deflated.
“Be quiet. Do you know why I’m not saying anything to you? Because you’re not even worth speaking to.”
Illid sharply brushed Hellion’s hand away.
“If you’re going to sneak someone out, you should take responsibility to the end. You’re perfectly fine, yet the person who went with you ends up like this after one night?”
“……”
“What would you have done if the palace guards had seen you? Do you think they would have recognized you by your red hair like I did and stopped shooting? You would have been killed on the spot. And if the duchess had been hurt in the process, then what?”
“……”
“Pathetic.”
I had never seen him this angry before. Why was he so terrifying today? I wanted to help the poor Hellion, but I was too scared to step forward.
The pitiful Hellion kept his eyes fixed on the floor, silently enduring Illid’s lecture.
“Get out. And don’t ever cause anything like this again.”
It was my own bedroom, yet Illid issued the order to leave as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It was so natural that I almost stood up to leave myself.
Hellion rose from his chair with his shoulders slumped, utterly crushed. I waved at him slightly out of guilt, but his gaze remained on the floor and he didn’t see it.
Illid took the seat Hellion had vacated. He reached out and placed a hand on my forehead, then frowned.
In a voice as small as an ant, I asked, “Are you angry?”
“I’m not angry. I’m upset.”
Illid brushed my tangled hair back from my face as he spoke.
“If only you had stopped him once you reached the bottom of the wall, it would have been fine.”
“No, Your Grace. I was excited too, just as you said. This is my fault as well.”
I quickly added the words, afraid their relationship might worsen because of me. But Illid’s hardened expression showed no sign of softening.
He stared at me in silence for a long time before speaking again in a low voice.
“Hellion is an interesting child. Despite his appearance, he has an innocent, childlike side. It makes me worry because I never know what he’ll do next, but that unpredictability is also part of his charm.”
“……”
“He’s full of passion and drive, but because he’s still young, he’s clumsy and unstable in every way. Both politically and personally.”
“……”
“It would be good if things ended with harmless pranks like yesterday, but the truth is, I’m worried.”
“About what?”
I asked in a hoarse voice.
“What worries you so much that you would scold him that harshly?”
Illid remained silent for quite a while. He had always been cautious, but now he was choosing every single word with even greater care.
“During the past ten years when entry to the palace was forbidden, Hellion and I kept in frequent contact. You, Ishtel, remember his childhood, but I know the Hellion who came after—the one you never saw.”
The Hellion I never saw.
For some reason, those words struck deep in my chest.
I waited quietly for Illid to continue. He chose his words once more and slowly began to speak.
“He is greedy and, once he sets his mind on something, pursues it with near-obsessive determination. The exploration of the frozen northern mountain range is one example. My aunt ordered him to withdraw because it was too dangerous, but Hellion defied his mother and secretly pushed the project forward.”
“……”
“He organized an advance team, gathered investors, and continued exploring until they discovered a gold mine. When everyone said it couldn’t be done, that child trusted his own instincts. When Hellion’s tenacity is used for good, it produces results like that. But when it turns in the wrong direction, it becomes mad tyranny and obsession.”
“……”
“For now, he still shrinks when I scold him like I did earlier, but I don’t know what will happen once he grows older. Who will be able to control him then?”
As I listened to Illid, the memory of the emperor’s horse running wild at the hunting grounds flashed through my mind.
At that time, Hellion holding the gun had looked ready to kill not only His Majesty’s horse but also Karina, who had blocked his path.
I remembered the look in his eyes when I stepped forward to stop him. They had been terribly cold and cruel.
“If something like that happens, I will stop Hellion. So please don’t worry too much.”
I wasn’t sure if I could actually do it. But I wanted to ease Illid’s concern, so I spoke more brightly on purpose.
A bitter smile rose to Illid’s lips.
“What worries me most is that his obsession might turn toward you, Ishtel.”
He tilted his head and met my eyes as I lay in bed.
“As his cousin and as a man, it’s not hard for me to notice. What Hellion wants most, what he desires to possess more than anything, is you.”
“That’s only because I’m the prospective crown princess. It’s merely interest born of that position.”
“I’m not so sure. At first I thought the same, but as time passes, I’m becoming convinced it’s something else.”
Illid reached over the bed and gently smoothed the strands of hair resting on the edge of my pillow.
“People of the North have a custom of raising Ice Eagles with blue feathers. But those eagles are fiercely independent and rarely submit to humans. Do you know how northerners tame them?”
“How do they tame them?”
“They kill every bird in the flock one by one, leaving only the strongest leader alive. Right in front of the leader. Then they pour endless affection on the lone survivor—giving it the finest food, finding it a mate, and so on.”
“……”
“Eventually the leader opens its heart to the human. No matter who slaughtered its flock, that person becomes the only one it can rely on. That is how northerners tame something.”
“Hellion would never do that.”
I quickly denied it, understanding what he meant.
As he said, I didn’t know the Hellion of the past ten years. But the Hellion I remembered would never do anything so cruel.
“I hope you’re right.”
Illid blinked his long black lashes.
“I’m only speaking of what might happen.”
“If something like that does happen, you’ll help me, won’t you, Your Grace?”
Illid smiled softly at me.
“Of course, Ishtel.”
It was a short answer, but I could feel the sincerity behind it. I placed my hand over the one he had rested on the bed. With my other hand, I reached out and stroked his black hair.
“Say my name again.”
“Mm, then you’ll have to call mine too, won’t you?”
“Archduke Illid…”
“Drop the title.”
His low voice sounded so pleasant. I caressed his hand and whispered softly.
“Illid.”
That was the beginning of our kiss. He filled me more deeply than last time, with an ecstasy that overwhelmed my senses.
I couldn’t tell whether the dreamy haze enveloping my body came from the fever or from the pleasure he gave me. All I knew was that I wanted this happiness with him to last forever.