Min Deulle's Crisis (1)
'Finally... alone together.'
I grabbed Uju-mong oppa's hand and led him into my room. The place was spotless. Knowing he'd be coming over, I'd cleaned everything in advance. I'd cleared away the scattered clothes on the floor, the snack wrappers, even the waterproof sheet I'd laid out on the bed.
"It's a bit messy, right? I've got so much stuff..."
I let go of his hand and put on a little act. I'd deliberately left some exercise equipment like foam rollers piled in one corner so it wouldn't look too perfect.
"Nah, it's super clean."
Oppa started slowly looking around my room. For some reason, my heart was pounding. Exposing the part of myself I never show anyone. Bringing the guy I like into my private space. Isn't this way too sexy?
"H-here, have a seat."
I pulled over the chair from my computer desk and placed it in front of my study table. Even this movement, this positioning—it was all premeditated. To make it natural for us to talk.
"You sure you're okay? It's your day off, and you're jumping straight into studying without any rest... Aren't you pushing yourself too hard?"
"No, no, I'm fine."
If it means studying with oppa, I could pull an all-nighter. Especially if it's just the two of us, with no other girls interrupting. Perfect.
But if the mood strikes, we could do more than just study.
Oppa sat down with his coffee. I carefully took a seat right beside him. This was a golden opportunity. A chance to get even closer to him.
Ari unnie and Jangmi unnie both seem to be after oppa too. I need to be more aggressive.
Seeing my sisters today had ramped up my anxiety. What the hell were Ari unnie and Jangmi unnie thinking?
She's got a boyfriend—why's she so obsessed with Uju-mong oppa? She went to church on Saturday because she wasn't feeling well? Yeah, right, total BS.
To everyone else, it just looked like she was playing both her boyfriend and Uju-mong oppa, walking that fine line. There's a limit to how shameless you can be. A girl who planned a two-night trip just to sleep with her boyfriend is eyeing my Uju-mong oppa? Trying to block me from getting close to him? What kind of messed-up mentality is that? Is she scared her gullible simp who only loved her is going away?
Big sis is the same. A total sleepyhead on her day off suddenly shows up at the cafe... Today she straight-up flashed her boobs and made dirty jokes... Anyone can see she's into him.
Still, it was touching when Jangmi unnie defended me earlier. She shot down Ari unnie's comments for me and even subtly cheered on my crush.
But I'm still anxious. The way unnie looks at oppa... something's off about it.
I opened my book and scooted even closer. This wasn't the time to be shy about skinship. No blushing over holding hands.
"Th-this problem... could you take a look?"
I turned my body toward him. Oppa was on my left. I pointed at the problem with my right hand and wrapped my left around his.
"Hang on, let me read it."
"Okay..."
Good, no rejection. He didn't push me away even when I cautiously stroked his arm.
See? If he hated it, he'd have shoved me off already. Complained it was too close. So why's he just sitting there? He doesn't mind either!
Scratch, scratch. Oppa flipped the pages as he worked through the problem. His moving hands were so sexy. The flex of his muscles drew my eyes. The warm heat seeping through his clothes, the firmness under my fingertips. If I leaned my face a bit closer to his shoulder, I could even catch his unique scent, thick and intoxicating.
Why didn't I dream about anything last night...?
I'd definitely taken the pills before bed, but no dreams came. I wanted to be under oppa, getting pounded. Wanted to look up at his face gripped by conquest as these hands choked my neck. Wanted him to ravage my insides over and over, then fill me to the brim with his bursting cum at the end.
"Deulle."
"Y-yes?"
"This problem's kinda messed up. It mixes in stuff you haven't learned yet."
"Oh... that explains it. I kept puzzling over it, but no answer came."
"Want me to explain the concept?"
"Yeah, please."
More aggressively. More provocatively. With that in mind, I slid my hand lower. Sadly, I didn't have the guts to grab his dick. Just resting it on his thigh was my limit. And even that made me...
"Huh...?"
But then, out of the corner of my eye, something jumped into view. An alien box amid the stationery. The condoms Jangmi unnie had given me from the pharmacy yesterday.
"Huh? What's wrong? Don't like it?"
"N-no, it's fine. Go ahead and explain."
"Got your math concepts textbook? Mind pulling it out?"
"Sure..."
I nodded as naturally as possible and rummaged for the book.
Idiot! Crazy idiot! Why didn't I put that away? Just left it there! Min Deulle, are you insane?
My heart started racing for a whole different reason. Truth be told, I'd peeked inside the box yesterday. Not just peeked—I'd even taken one out and practiced putting it on.
I thought maybe we'd use it today... Just wanted to practice, that's all...
But now it was backfiring hard. If oppa saw that condom box, what would he think of me? That I'd used it with some other guy and left the leftovers on my desk?
Can't let him find out. Worst case, he'll think I'm just like unnie.
The silver lining? It was near the pens, so it didn't stand out too much at a glance.
If I keep his attention on me, it'll be fine.
I calmly pulled out the math textbook. This was all Ari unnie's fault. Fighting with her this morning had distracted me, made me miss this crucial detail.
What if he thinks I've already brought someone here... and those are traces left from screwing them? Do I explain I'm still a virgin?
Visions of me desperately justifying every little thing flashed through my head. Just imagining it was mortifying. I'd die of embarrassment.
"Whoa!"
Too flustered, maybe. The thick math book slipped from my hands and thudded onto the desk. The impact shook everything—pens rattled loudly.
Thud! The vibration knocked over a small box nearby. Since the lid was open, the contents spilled right out.
"......"
"......"
The compressed packaging revealed their round silhouette perfectly. But more damning was the bold "0.01" printed on the wrapper, screaming what they were for. No way anyone could mistake them for anything but condoms.
"Th-this is..."
My mouth opened. My mind went blank white—I couldn't think of what to say.
"Vitamins! Th-they come in fake packaging like this these days. A friend gave them to me as a gift. I take them sometimes!"
I hastily shoved the spilled condom back into the box and clutched it, then slipped it into my bag as casually as I could.
"......"
Oppa said nothing. Silence. The silence was torture. I couldn't lift my head. Couldn't face him.
Stupid! You call that an excuse? Obvious lie! You just lied to oppa! A lie he'd see through in seconds!
As my head cooled, regret sank in. What was he thinking now? That I was some slut trying to cover with a lame lie? That my feelings for him were just as cheap?
"No... I mean, it's not... not vitamins, but... like..."
The words wouldn't come together. I wasn't the crying type, but tears prickled anyway.
"It's okay. Really. That can happen."
A warm hand started stroking my back. Oppa was gently rubbing it. So comforting. His kind voice made my chest ache even more.
"You're an adult too, after all."
"Ah..."
No. The misunderstanding was deepening.
"Still... kinda unexpected. I thought you liked me."
Regret tinged his voice. Like he was giving up, letting go. It clutched at my heart.
"No, oppa. It's not what you think."
I grabbed his hand tight. Forced my head up. He looked flustered. I blinked rapidly, steeling myself. No choice now but to swallow my shame and lay it all bare. If that wasn't enough, I'd prove my innocence with my body.
"Truth is, I thought... if you came over today... m-maybe something like that would happen..."
Embarrassed, I looked away fast. But I couldn't stop. Had to clear this up.
"I figured we might... u-use it together... so I practiced opening one... N-not leftovers from some other guy or anything!"
"......"
"D-don't misunderstand... I really... seriously like you, oppa..."
Done. Told the truth. Fixed the lie.
"Ah... I see."
A single line, like he was utterly stumped. Forced out because he didn't know how else to respond.
"......"
No. This wasn't the scene I wanted. The two of us studying in a tense, quiet room. Our physical contact deepening bit by bit. No verbal confessions, just quietly exploring each other's bodies, confirming our feelings in secret. Overflowing with butterflies I couldn't contain, when the tension between us turned soft and tender—that's when I wanted to confess beautifully, wrapped in romance. Tell him to love me, not unnie. Promise to make me happy, bold and proud.
Is my first love... ending this pathetically?
If I were a guy, how would I take this? The blonde beach bimbo says she'll study hard. Talks fancy about bread and coffee. Wedges herself between me and Ari. Turns out she's no different.
"Deulle."
"......"
"Wanna take that out again?"
"Y-yes?"