Reason for Quitting as a Trainee (4)
What kind of dream should I even call this? I couldn't grasp what to say, so I just opened and closed my mouth.
Isn't this my dream? In a way, you could call it a lucid dream. So shouldn't I be able to change the dream's content however I want? At least that's what my common sense told me.
But this dream wouldn't change. From the moment I realized it was a dream, I wanted to get out of this car. But my body kept talking to the manager. Acting exactly like that day, speaking exactly the same lines, shoving that vivid discomfort right into my face.
My body only started moving as I wished after the car pulled into the parking lot. But that was all—my body obeyed me, nothing more. I couldn't get out of the car. I couldn't wake up from the dream.
"Why does it change so arbitrarily like this... If it's my dream, it should follow my will..."
"I like you."
"...?"
"Just imagining you throwing yourself at another man makes my chest ache. My guts twist in knots. So I have to take your first time."
"...You've already taken it twice."
The feeling of this man tearing through my hymen, slicing into my flesh—it all came rushing back. Both times had been so vivid. And now it was even further in the past, back when I was just barely an adult. Of course my hymen would still be intact then. I'd definitely feel it again.
"Deulle."
"Wa-wait a sec. Don't come any closer."
I shoved oppa away. I grabbed the car door handle again, but it wouldn't budge. There was no escape.
Is it... okay to let this guy hold me?
The thought popped into my head. There wasn't a single trace of that manager bastard left. He'd completely transformed into Uju-mong oppa. Not just his face—his voice, his build, everything.
Why? Why did it suddenly change into Ju-mong oppa?
Dreams twist and shift like that all the time. I could brush it off easily enough, but something told me there was a deeper meaning. A vague hunch.
Did I subconsciously wish for a man who could help me? Did I hope someone would swoop in and save me... like a prince on a white horse, and Ju-mong oppa showed up...?
Thinking back, there'd never been a decent guy around me. I had serious asocial vibes myself, so I never approached anyone first. I'd thrown myself into trainee life since I was a kid, shoving away any guys who came near. The manager I'd been closest to? After what happened right here in this parking lot, he became worse than a stranger. Dad died when I was little—I barely remember his face. Bad blood with relatives too, so if you asked who the only real man in my life was... it'd have to be Uju-mong oppa.
No wonder I subconsciously wished for Ju-mong oppa. A strong guy who could smash this situation to pieces. A man who could pin me down, make me unable to twitch. Firm arm muscles, tall, handsome face, and that massive cock...
I shook my head sharply and pulled myself together.
"Ah..."
Before I knew it, oppa's hand was resting on my thigh. Strangely, there was no revulsion. This was the same guy I'd refused to even talk to not long ago. But now he was completely different, burning with desire for me.
This... this feeling is definitely Ju-mong oppa.
Only twice in my arms, but I was certain. The sensation of his hand on my skin wasn't the kind you forget easily.
Oppa’s hand slipped slowly inside my skirt. It kneaded my thighs—firmer back then than now—squeezing as it slid upward. It didn't feel bad at all. If anything, my anxiety was melting away. The discomfort dissolving.
Still... something feels off.
His appearance was definitely Ju-mong oppa. Popping the pill and pretending I didn't know anything would feel amazing. Mind-blowing pleasure, wake up, hit the shower, wash it all away. Done.
But... this oppa said with his own mouth he's not Ju-mong. Doesn't that mean his mind is still that manager's?
If so, then no—even if he looked like Ju-mong oppa, I didn't want him. Sure, this wasn't reality. It was a dream. And that manager scum would never confess love to me. So saying his mind was purely that bastard's was wrong too.
Someone whose mind is a mix of the manager and Uju-mong oppa... maybe that's it?
Then I wanted it to change. If this was my dream, I wanted it more like Ju-mong oppa. Not just the surface—inside too.
"Oppa..."
I blocked the hand stroking my slit through my panties. Praying to the dream itself, I opened my mouth.
"Oppa likes unni, not me."
Uju-mong liked Min Ari, not me. If he reacted and brought up Ari unni, that'd mean he was getting closer to being Ju-mong oppa.
But if he mentioned one of the Honeyboop members... it'd mean this approach wouldn't work.
Oppa paused, blinking. For a split second, he looked like he was pondering something.
"Sorry to Ari, but I can't let another man take you."
"...?"
My heart pounded. It was working. Finally, it was shifting the way I wanted.
Yes! That's more like a dream!
Cheering inwardly, I decided to push further.
"N-not unni... Give up on unni... Say you'll like only me from now on... Then I'll take the pill."
"...?"
I clutched the contraceptive pill I'd snatched from oppa, praying again. I knew what dreams were. I knew hearing words like that here meant nothing. But if this was a dirty dream—if it was my twisted desires manifesting—what did it matter if it got even messier?
"I like you too. No—not that... Say you like only me."
"...?"
"I-I sent you those ruined pics of Ari unni too. You still can't let go?"
Something only the real Ju-mong oppa would know. If the conversation kept going here, it was him—not some manager scum.
"I put that pic to good use. A pic I can only see if we live together? Loved it."
"You liked that? It didn't kill your feelings?"
"If we're talking semen, plenty spilled."
What the hell. Was he crazy? Trying to pick a fight right now? That wasn't the answer I wanted!
"You secretly jerk off to it at home or something?"
"As if. I just pull it up when I'm feeling down."
"Liar. You said you used it well."
Heat rushed to my face in an instant.
"Th-then what about my pic?"
"Your pic?"
"Don't play dumb. You messaged me after seeing the pic. The one I accidentally sent at night. You saw it, right?"
A thicker smile spread across oppa’s face. He knew. The guy in front of me was a fake conjured from my memories. Not the real Uju-mong—so if I wanted the truth, I'd have to ask in reality, not this dream.
Still curious though! Did he really see it? What did he think if he did!
If he had my pic and unni's—which one would turn him on more? Assuming he jerked off to them, which would he stare at while cumming?
"Saved it nice and safe. It was insanely hot."
"Y-you saved it? I deleted it right away?"
"To hold it over you later. Catch your weakness, see what I could do with it. That's why."
I swallowed hard. Memories flooded back of that time he half-blackmailed me with the pic, forcing a blowjob.
"I can give you more pics like that anytime."
"...?"
"I can do it without any blackmail."
"...?"
"Say you like only me, not unni..."
My voice came out smaller than intended. Deep down, didn't I already know? No matter how stubborn I got, he wouldn't change his words. This oppa would like unni... More than some worthless girl who'd achieved nothing, holing up in the corner of a cafe all day glued to her phone... He'd prefer his childhood friend who made a living writing novels and even had a solid boyfriend...
That's why, even though I wanted him this badly, the dream was reading my subconscious...
"Yeah. I like you. More than Ari."
"Eut... ♥"
"Not Ari. You."
I looked up at Ju-mong oppa. Or maybe not—since he'd warped to my will, he might not be anymore. Didn't matter. My chest tingled strangely. A weird happiness, different from physical climax. The kind that filled my heart so full I couldn't put it into words.
"What a total mess of a dream..."
Oppa drew closer bit by bit. The hand that had given up on my skirt now softly gripped my breast. Smooch— Light lips met and parted. I couldn't hold back—I pressed my body forward, cupped his face, and kissed him. The contraceptive pill slipped from my hand, but I ignored it. It was a dream anyway. No pill needed—no pregnancy risk.