Chapter 88
I must have read that martial arts manual I picked up in the cave about thirty times by now. There wasn't the slightest sign of me getting stronger, my stomach was growling louder and louder, time was slipping away wastefully, and that internal energy essence was looking more and more tempting...
So I decided to give up clean and simple.
Just eat it.
Even if this turned out to be a dud, there were still plenty of other treasure spots I could hit. Clinging too hard to this one place wasn't the smart move.
Swoosh—
(Wait! Don't eat it~!)
"Hm?"
Right before the pea-sized internal energy essence vanished into my mouth, a frantic voice echoed in my head. I looked around.
(No way, you can hear me?!)
"...Loud and clear. But where are you talking from?"
(For real?!)
"Yeah, for real."
(Then look down. No, not at your feet! What kind of frustrating mortal are you? A little to the left!)
"You could've just said the skeleton from the start."
The owner of the voice ringing in my head was the mummified corpse of a martial artist lying on a flat rock.
(Skeleton? What skeleton?)
"Can't you see yourself?"
(...I really am invisible, huh.)
"Hm. You've got yourself a nicely preserved set of bones there."
(Don't say another word.)
"Got it."
This was some absurd development that never appeared in the wuxia novel Is This Heavenly Demon Real?. I never imagined I'd be chatting with a martial artist reduced to bones.
Because I'm a shaman?
Trying to think about it scientifically just gave me a headache, so I decided to roll with it and enjoy the situation.
"So, what did you mean by don't eat it?"
(How could I stand by and watch a lifetime of achievements turn into worthless shit?)
"Then what should I do?"
(Practice the internal energy cultivation method.)
"A breathing technique?"
(Let me be frank. You've never learned any martial arts, have you?)
"Spot on! How'd you know?"
(It's obvious just looking at you! Aigoo... Even in death, I can't get a moment's peace!)
"Think positive."
I felt bad for no reason hearing the ghost sigh.
(Bow to me nine times.)
"Why?"
(Well... Eh, forget it. What's the point of face in death? From now on, call me Master.)
"Yes, sir."
Jackpot—free private tutoring.
* * *
(Disciple. What the hell kind of body is that?)
"What's wrong with my body?"
That was when the bone Master made a weird comment, as I was chowing down on my fourth pure white fish from the pond out of hunger.
(I haven't even taught you the basics yet. How did you do that?)
"You told me to try it without learning the basics first."
(......)
"Don't sweat it. I'm strong in real fights anyway."
(Be honest. You've trained in martial arts before, haven't you?)
"Not at all."
(Heavens! What fate have you been born under to have such terrifying talent...)
"Master. Can I eat now?"
(Do what you want.)
The moment the bone Master gave permission in a totally deflated voice, I popped the entire 'internal energy essence' into my mouth.
Sizzle.
It melted on my tongue before I could even savor the taste, absorbing right in.
"That's wild."
It felt like I'd been reborn as some non-human lifeform. My body felt light and unburdened, like the wind itself. It was weird.
(...Disciple.)
"Yes."
(Just spend three years carefully breathing and nothing else. Every powerhouse in the world will kneel before you.)
"You're joking, right?"
(What kind of face do I have to gain from joking as a pile of bones?)
"Fair point. You really mean just breathe?"
(Believe it.)
There was more conviction in Master's voice than ever.
"Getting strong is a breeze. Just breathe, huh."
(You're the weird one...)
"Teach me more."
(I had a solid plan at first, but now there's nothing left to teach.)
"Nothing at all?"
(...Go find the Blood Demon.)
"Out of nowhere?"
The Is This Heavenly Demon Real? novel was about the Heavenly Demon, not the Blood Demon. It felt random.
(If you can hear the voices of the dead, you must have talent for sorcery too. In this Central Plains, only the Blood Demon can teach you.)
"Blood Demon..."
Wasn't this an opportunity?
There were no shamans on Earth to teach me. I'd have to figure it out by trial and error...
What if the Blood Demon's a shaman too?
I might be able to build up the expertise I lacked.
(And I have a favor to ask...)
"What's that?"
(Deliver the martial arts manual I had to the Heavenly Demon.)
"This thing? It's not dangerous, right?"
(Why would he harm the one bringing back his runaway daughter's belongings?)
"Gasp!"
I was so shocked by the bone Master's true identity that I sucked in a breath.
The Heavenly Demon's daughter?
I couldn't believe it.
(Hoho! Shocked that I'm the Heavenly Demon's daughter?)
"Yeah. Never would've guessed."
(I suppose not. The Heavenly Demon was a bachelor, after all...)
"Your bones looked thick, so I figured you were a guy."
(...Be grateful I'm dead.)
"Thank you!"
(Get lost!)
"Yes, sir!"
We parted ways after some heartwarming words of wisdom.
* * *
Coming in, it had been pitch-black darkness where I couldn't see a thing. But now, heading out, everything was crystal clear: stalactites, bugs, rocks, passages...
If this hadn't been a straight shot, it really could've been dangerous. The moment I spotted the blue sky and sun, I threw my arms wide and shouted,
"I'm alive!"
Still looking like a total beggar. But inside, I was brimming with that handy fuel called internal energy.
The first step's always the hardest.
Internal energy.
The foundation of every wuxia novel. No internal energy means no martial arts, no martial arts means no martial artists, no martial artists means no wuxia. That’s how crucial it is.
But for something so important, info on it is scarce.
"Makes sense—it's not real."
Wuxia authors are ordinary folks who've never used internal energy. If they knew the principles, they'd have mastered martial arts in real life!
In other words, 'novels are just novels.' You can't learn non-existent stuff from them.
That's why Song Seon-yeong's dad, a wuxia expert, can't actually do martial arts.
But if a native of the novel world shakes my soul and kindly teaches me, 'This is internal energy!'?
If I still didn't get it, I'd be an idiot.
"Alright... now then..."
Eating nothing but those white fish had started to gross me out. Lizards from the desert? Even worse!
I craved proper civilized food. Like those juicy dumplings and noodles from the street stalls in town...
Slurp!
Just imagining it made saliva pool in my mouth.
I've held out long enough.
Ever since starting my gig as Count Amolrang in the romance fantasy I Became the Youngest Daughter of a Count, my body had gone degenerate(!) and couldn't settle for convenience store frozen junk anymore.
This was the limit! I'd toughed it out because I hated part-time jobs, but now with internal energy built up, I felt a spark of confidence.
Bzzz—
My chest swelled with internal energy, booming grandly.
"Master. Thanks. A bit shocked you were a woman, but still."
(Scram~!)
"...Ahem."
I dashed toward the city, scavenging for anything valuable to sell.
If there's no attachment, I can always sell this martial arts manual.
Sorry, Master, but meeting the world's strongest, the Heavenly Demon—who outranks the novel's protagonist—right now was too risky. What if he misunderstood and thought I killed his daughter?
I'd be dead meat. Tortured for revenge, even!
"That'd suck... Hm?"
Thud thud thud—
Men on horseback were charging across the sandy plain straight at me.
Hm. Doesn't look like friendly intentions.
With my internal energy-enhanced ears, I caught their conversation.
"Tch! It's just a beggar."
"No loot, but he wasted our time. Make him pay."
"Little bro. Take out that beggar quick and come back."
"Yes, bro!"
The 'little bro' broke off from the group and charged me on his horse.
Clang—
I grabbed the reins with my left hand and yanked the crescent blade from the saddle with my right.
"...This is where novels lack realism."
This was the martial world, full of people who could shatter rocks barehanded. Shouldn't you at least consider the chance a lone traveler might be one? Way too careless.
"I'll put it to good use."
"...Huh?"
I crushed the guy's right hand—the one aiming for my neck—snatched his weapon, and before his horse passed me, sliced his throat with the crescent blade.
Thud!
The headless body tumbled from the saddle, and the reins-free horse bolted wildly.
"Gasp! Little bro!"
"What happened?!"
"Is he a martial artist?!"
Only noticing after the casualty? Their smarts were about on par with monkeys, maybe a bit less. I wanted to ask why they were so reckless.
Perfect timing—I need money anyway.
Selling just their horses and blades would cover food and board for a while.
Decision made.
"Gasp! He's coming at us!"
"Faster than the horses?!"
"We'll get caught like this!"
"Damn it! Scatter...!"
They did exactly what I'd been wary of—splitting up. If they scattered everywhere, I'd lose half of them. Unacceptable.
No can do. If you're trying to kill me...
Then stake your lives too.
Grr!
Wuxia novels have 'movement techniques' that let martial artists run on water, walk the sky, move faster than the wind.
Movement techniques.
Literally, ways of stepping.
Bone Master hadn't taught me any, but I'm a modern track athlete. One of the monsters aiming to be the fastest human alive.
Bang!
Just running tore through the air.
"Aaaack?!"
"Hiiing~?!"
The men and horses, just about to scatter, screamed as the shockwave from the rending air and sandstorm swept them up. They lost balance and flew through the air.
Splat!
I subdued them easily without even using my hands or drawing blood.
"...Oops."
I thought it was a brilliant blend of science and martial arts, but I miscalculated.
"Hiiing~?!"
"Hiiing~?!"
Crack!
The innocent horses' necks and legs snapped limply.
Horses! Sorry!
The lucky survivors ditched their riders and fled, but there weren't many.
"Monster..."
Thwack!
I burst the head of the guy who rudely spat that out.
"Gasp!"
"Eek?!"
I'd appreciate it if they didn't assume distance meant safety from my hearing or killing. Internal energy has tons of applications.
Throwing a pebble infused with it to kill a man? Child's play.
Still, "Not quite right."
Like clothes that didn't fit, it wasn't intuitive yet. Needed steady practice and tweaks.
A more efficient way...
There were plenty of test dummies around to try lethal martial arts power on.
Did they sense my thoughts? "Wait! Hero!"
"Give us a chance to speak!"
"Need money?"
They tried negotiating.
"Speak."
"We're a famous bandit gang around here! The authorities pay bounties for captures!"
My eyes lit up at 'bounty'.
Oh yeah, definitely...
In Is This Heavenly Demon Real?, there were public bounties on villainous martial artists and groups. The fuel for its ridiculous 215 volumes.
I knew it well...
"Capture? Why bother?"
"They need public executions in front of crowds to spread imperial prestige and warn others! Heads only get half the bounty!"
"Hm..."
No way these bandits were suggesting this just to live a few more days.
What to do?
Reading hope in my pondering face, they piled on.
"Even if we run, we're still in the hero's palm, right?"
"No need to dirty your hands with filthy bandit blood."
"Exactly! We'll carry the troublesome loot too."
There was a similar scene in Is This Heavenly Demon Real?. The protagonist's choice back then was...
"Fine."
I played along with their desperate ploy.
"Thank you, hero!"
"Wise judgment!"
"As expected of a hero!"
Slash—
Their heads hit the dirt simultaneously, the moment they relaxed thinking I'd spare them for now.
Thud, thud, thud...
The headless bodies toppled one after another, spurting blood.
"My money..."
Who did this cruel deed?
The culprit appeared.
"Not bad for a man. Dodging my sword."
A martial artist who'd wiped out all my captured bandits in an instant. A woman in her mid-twenties, a bit older than me.
"Alone?"
"What if I am?"
"Well, obviously..."
Shing—
Time to avenge the bandits with this crescent blade.