Chapter 51
It was said that only true love could find the treasure, but that's nothing more than a game of contrived settings riddled with holes. Was true love reserved just for the protagonist? 'That's insulting to love.'
Ignoring all those devoted couples who love one man and one woman with 100% of their hearts? At this rate, if you evenly divided the love the protagonist lavishes on all those handsome guys, it'd come out to about 12% each, right? Let's use food as an example. She loves ramen, jjajangmyeon, noodles, spaghetti, naengmyeon... At this point, doesn't it just mean she loves all kinds of noodles?
'A protagonist who loves any handsome guy who's nice to her? That's true love? That's a mockery of love!'
But then the protagonist discovers the cabin that countless couples, who gazed only at each other with unwavering love, couldn't find. So doesn't that mean 'true love' is just bullshit, and anyone satisfying certain conditions can find it? A reasonable suspicion, wouldn't you say?
'Chocolate, cake, coffee, swimming, competition, winner, man, woman.' There were probably some unnecessary conditions among those elements, but I had no desire to verify them. We found it, didn't we?
"Baron, is there treasure inside the cabin?"
"No, Lady Valentine. There's a well around here somewhere. The legendary sword is sunk at the bottom."
Inside the cabin, there are all sorts of props prepared for the protagonist and the handsome guys to experience 'married life.' Laundry, cleaning, cooking, childcare... Episodes where the protagonist demonstrates and teaches these household chores to noble hunks who've never lifted a finger. Heartwarming tales of the guys clumsily fumbling through chores like toddlers learning to walk, laughing and chatting all the while. The legendary sword is just a bonus! A weapon tossed in by a novel author who hates combat—that's my target.
"Oh my! There's really a well...?"
"Let's check it out."
"Have you been here before, Baron?"
"No. If I had, we wouldn't have wandered all day."
"That's a relief."
"Pardon?"
"Ah, nothing!"
"...Let's take a look."
At the bottom of the deep, pitch-black well, there was indeed something that looked like a sword.
"Hmm..."
How the hell do I pull this out? As I pondered, Lady Valentine pointed at a tool with her fingertip.
"That should do it."
"...You're right."
A rope with a hook like a fishing gaff at the end had been conveniently left by the well. 'It's practically screaming "use this"!'
Splash!
I used the tool to easily fish out the treasure slumbering at the bottom. But...
"What a beautiful sword..."
"Not childish at all, huh?"
The guard between the blade and hilt was a pink heart shape! And embedded inside that heart was a small red gem in the shape of another heart. 'No way I can wield this thing!'
Still, I decided to test its performance first.
Slash—crack!
A massive boulder strewn across the ruins was sliced clean through like pudding, without a hint of resistance.
"Whew~♪"
The results blew a whistle right out of me. The blade wasn't even razor-thin, yet it had absurd cutting power. Fantasy was fantasy, after all.
"It's so sharp, I'm worried there might not be a proper scabbard for it."
"What then?"
"For now, we'll have to wrap the blade in cloth and tie it securely so it doesn't come loose. We can get a custom sheath made by a skilled blacksmith later."
"Then let's grab some cloth and string from the cabin—huh?"
Poof!
The legendary sword I'd been holding vanished into thin air. 'Where the hell did it go?!'
There was no mention of this in the original novel, which made it all the more bewildering. Actually, it wasn't mentioned at all. The legendary sword never appeared again after this, right up until the novel's end. Once it served as proof of the protagonist's 'true love,' its utility was done.
"The sword... disappeared."
"......"
I felt depressed.
"Baron, don't take it to heart. We confirmed the legend with our own eyes, didn't we?"
"Sigh... We went to so much trou—"
Poof!
Before my lament could finish, the legendary sword reappeared.
"......"
"......"
Neither I nor the fantasy world's native could close our gaping mouths at this physics-defying phenomenon.
"How did you do that?"
"I didn't do anythi—"
Poof!
I realized I could summon the legendary sword at will.
"Guess we won't need a scabbard after all?"
"...Indeed."
"Molrang Baron, my sincere congratulations. You've become the legendary sword's true master."
"Uh... thanks."
The fantasy weirdness never got less disorienting, no matter how many times it happened. But I quickly pulled myself together and said to Lady Valentine,
"We've achieved our goal, so let's head out. They'll be waiting for us outside."
"Yes."
We left without so much as glancing at the cabin, a crystallization of the novel author's desires and tastes.
But then the cabin reappeared! I briefly suspected it was a different one, but even the position of the hook we'd left by the well was identical. We'd gone in a full circle.
"...This is weird."
"...Let's try again."
No matter which direction we went—running, changing course midway, splitting up—we always ended up back at the cabin. No matter what we did, it loomed into view.
"Baron, it seems we're trapped."
"This... wasn't expected."
"Is there no way out?"
"There must be a way back the path we came. We just don't know it."
"Baron, if I may, there could be clues hidden in the house we haven't searched yet."
"...Alright. Let's check it out."
With no better ideas, I followed Lady Valentine's suggestion.
* * *
The spacious log cabin could easily house ten burly adult men plus the protagonist. But the interior was a mess.
"Dust on the floors, and the dishes aren't done."
We frowned at the horrific state upon opening the unlocked door.
"Shall we investigate right away?"
"You take the second floor. I'll check the first."
"Yes, Baron."
I knew there were no escape clues here, but I couldn't just give up without looking.
Kitchen, bathtub, bedroom, storeroom... It was too contrived for a house abandoned long enough to gather dust. Especially,
"Even if booze doesn't spoil, raw meat and veggies like this? Come on!"
I let out a hollow laugh, chiding the creator of this world who couldn't hear me.
Gurgle.
"...Sorry."
I failed to appreciate the author's deep intent to prioritize the protagonist's survival and romance over realism! To soothe my hunger, I grabbed plenty of provisions from the storeroom and headed to the kitchen.
'Gotta do what I gotta do to survive.'
If I didn't want to eat with dirty hands, I'd have to do the dishes.
Fetching water from the well... clatter clatter.
I scrubbed the utensils with some mystery detergent.
"Oh! Let me do that!"
Lady Valentine, descending from the second floor after her search, spotted me and rushed over to help with the dishes.
"Almost done. Just wipe down the table, Lady Valentine."
"...Yes."
I opened the tightly shut windows for ventilation and cleaned the dust-caked chairs so we could sit.
After that?
"Ah... Does Molrang Baron know how to cook too?"
"Just a little. If you're confident, feel free to take over..."
"No, I can only throw random stuff into soup and season it to taste."
Lady Valentine bowed her head as she said it. Slicing carrots, I replied,
"It's okay not to know how to cook. But you're exceptional with the sword, aren't you? No need to feel ashamed."
"...I've always thought that way until today, but it feels off now."
"Take a break."
"......"
Feeling her gaze on the back of my head, I whipped up a meal using the cooking skills I'd grudgingly picked up living alone.
'Who knew it'd come in handy like this.'
I'd practiced knife work and memorized spices and recipes hoping to land a restaurant job. The only difference? No faucet in the kitchen, and I had to go outside to make a fire—a minor inconvenience.
Thud!
"Dig in. Tell me if it's too bland."
"...Thank you. I'll enjoy it."
There were coffee beans in the storeroom, but too much hassle, so I just pulled out beer and wine from the barrel.
Glug glug!
Filling two glasses to the brim, I proposed to Lady Valentine,
"Shall we toast?"
"Yes."
"To escaping safely! Cheers!"
"Cheers. To you, Baron."
Clink!
I love the toast I learned the day the swimming coach bought me beef. When transparent glasses filled with liquid touch and ring out clearly, it feels like our souls connect. Even now.
"Lady Valentine, thank you so much for trusting and following me."
"I'm the one who's grateful... to serve you, Baron."
"But can we drink too much today?"
"It's safe here."
Clink!
We savored our drinks in the gentle atmosphere.
* * *
"Urgh... Huh? What?"
When I came to, I tried to sit up, but something heavy pinned me down. Cracking open my eyes...
"Zzz..."
"......"
Lady Valentine was sleeping beside me, her arms and legs draped over my chest and thighs.
'What happened last night...?'
As far as I remembered, nothing. Mixing beer and wine got me drunk fast, so I'd headed to bed first. Meaning, she'd snuck in beside me after I passed out.
"......"
I'd invited Song Seon-yeong home to keep her from suicide and we'd slept together then. But I'd given her the bed and slept on the floor, so it was fine... Now my heart was pounding!
"...Awake?"
"Huh? You weren't asleep?"
Lady Valentine, whom I'd thought deeply asleep, opened her eyes. Not sleepy like mine, but bright and clear.
"I slept."
She must've woken early and meditated with eyes closed.
"Then why..."
"I was on guard duty."
"Ah!"
"...Was I uncomfortable?"
"Of course not. I was just startled to open my eyes and find a beautiful lady inches from my face."
"...Baron."
"Yes."
"I believe in the legend."
"That's—mmph?!"
Lady Valentine stole a kiss, snapping me fully awake.
* * *
After straightening my disheveled clothes and leaving the bedroom, I was startled by the men's voices from the first-floor kitchen.
"Good morning, Baron!"
"Up earlier than expected."
"You could've slept in longer..."
Lady Valentine's squire and attendants greeted me while eating the leftovers I'd made.
Had the fantasy that kept us from finding this cabin vanished? Whatever.
"Your faces look way too lecherous. What are you imagining?"
"Heh heh..."
"Hee hee..."
They all answered with sleazy smirks, as if to say, you know exactly what.
Then,
"Baron, shouldn't we show them our search wasn't in vain?"
Lady Valentine, descending the stairs behind me, spoke wisely.
"Right. Attention! Watch closely!"
Poof!
I summoned the legendary sword and held it high for all to see.
"Gasp! The legendary sword?!"
"So the rumors were true!"
"Oh! Congratulations!"
Poof!
Dismissed, I grinned and replied,
"Thanks."
But it didn't sound like thanks for finding the sword. ...Probably just my imagination?
"Molrang Baron, have a seat. Warm soup will settle your startled stomach."
"Yes."
"Any other plans?"
"None."
The author hid more treasures for the protagonist—an ancient queen's mirror, mermaid's ring, witch's necklace, goddess's earrings... Useless in war. No expeditions for those.
"Heading back right away then?"
"Of course. Somac Duke must be desperately looking for me by now."
The protagonist's wedding was just two weeks away.