Chapter 14
Song Seon-yeong yelled at me.
"Why can't you understand what I'm saying...!"
"I do understand."
"No, you don't understand at all! If you did, you'd know the match is pointless...!"
"It's not pointless."
"What-!"
"Because you promised not to kill yourself if I win."
"Is that really important?"
"It is. Way more than getting rich quick with future info."
I declared it firmly, staring into her eyes that glared at me like I was her mortal enemy.
"......"
"......"
Song Seon-yeong broke eye contact first and spoke in a calmer tone.
"Kang Moon-soo, you're the only one in this world who can understand me. Even if we go back to the past, you don't lose your memories. Am I wrong?"
"You're right."
I'm the only one who remembers what she ordered at that famous restaurant, what she fed the fish at the aquarium...
"No matter how much we fight, it's fine with other people because their memories get wiped. But not with you."
We keep our memories even after regressing. So once our relationship sours, it doesn't flip back like a pancake even if we go back in time.
"Moon-soo, I don't want to fight with you."
"Me neither."
It wasn't like we just swam at the pool. We laughed, played, talked... There were tons of fun times. And we were always together for them.
"Then why...?" Song Seon-yeong asked, her face on the verge of tears.
My heart ached at the sight, but I didn't stop.
"Seon-yeong, there's a memory you absolutely don't know about."
"A memory I absolutely don't know? No way-"
"The sight of you dying."
"......"
The girl who thought lightly of suicide fell silent.
"You said it was fine because you lost consciousness before dying, but I watched it all the way to the end."
Her frail body shattering as it hit the cold concrete floor. The face of the girl I'd just been laughing with vanishing, turning bright red with blood—I'd seen it countless times.
"...I just won't look."
"Not looking doesn't mean you won't die."
"......"
"I don't want the girl I like to die anymore."
"Ah..."
"So please have the match."
She hesitated at my persuasion, then squeezed out her words.
"Still hate it."
"Why?"
"You asking 'cause you don't know? If I die, I can go back to the past. I'm gonna get rich and live free from my aptitude."
"Hmm..."
As expected, not easy.
But I'm not impulsively saying things she doesn't want to hear.
"Seon-yeong, I like you."
"Can't believe it. If you really liked me, you'd go along with my opinion."
"No, it's because I like you that I can't."
"That's sophistry!"
"I'm scared. Scared that the girl I like might really die for good. What if you kill yourself and we can't go back? What if time just keeps going?"
"...That won't happen."
Song Seon-yeong denied it, but without confidence.
"Seon-yeong, we're not gods. We're fragile humans who don't even know why we get this special treatment."
"......"
"Don't take life lightly. This could be your last one."
No principle. No precedent. No source. We're recklessly abusing occult powers we know nothing about.
The end of that can't be good.
Human history, repeating arrogance and regret, proves it. I don't want regrets.
"Don't scare me. It's been fine so far. Next time too-"
"Next time could be different."
"......"
"......"
Song Seon-yeong's face twisted in anguish as she forced out an answer.
"...Fine, I'll do the match."
"Thanks!"
I hugged her tight in overwhelming gratitude. I knew how hard that decision was for her.
"...But I have a condition too."
"What?"
"This is the last match. And if I win this time..."
"If you win?"
"Be my Adam. Forever."
"......"
I suddenly thought it might be best to lose to her quick.
* * *
We agreed not to suicide until the final match and parted ways, looking forward to tomorrow.
"It's been forever."
Maybe because she'd been by my side constantly since promising to help? I suddenly felt empty.
And also, "Aigoo..."
My smartphone, which I'd ignored completely while learning to swim, put me in a bind.
Missed Calls (14)
Unread Messages (5)
The price of trusting only the occult and ignoring human relationships and social norms.
I thought maybe just one more regression...
No, can't do that.
One becomes two, two becomes three. If my resolve wavers from the start like this, I'll never beat Song Seon-yeong.
"Been a while here too."
Clunk, creak-
My place was a cramped one-room on the third floor corner of a rundown commercial building. Originally a warehouse, it was freezing in winter and sweltering in summer—the worst living space—but the rent was dirt cheap! That's its killer advantage.
If I awakened my shaman talent and started seeing ghosts, this'd be the first place they'd come, right?
"......"
No family photos, just a barren room with trash piled in the corner.
I kept up strict hygiene like laundry and baths to blend in at school, but everything else? Sloppy results from skimping.
I poured all my time and energy into part-time work instead of cleaning.
Rich from stocks...
Song Seon-yeong's words in her bikini echoed like the devil's temptation.
Was my judgment really right? If I got rich, no more dingy one-room. And I'd see her in sexy swimsuits every day!
"Already regretting-"
Knock knock!
"Moon-soo, you home? It's your homeroom teacher."
"Ah..."
A cautious knock, then her voice from outside the door.
Oh god! She came in person 'cause I wasn't answering!
I frantically tidied up, not wanting to show her my long-neglected mess.
Song Seon-yeong would laugh and say why bother cleaning.
It'd get messy again if the occult kicked in anyway. Still, I kept cleaning. Stopping here felt like settling, like her.
No more.
A life where everyone but her looks like mannequins is wrong. Including feeding soda to fish 'cause I was in a bad mood!
Me, Song Seon-yeong, homeroom teacher, friends, neighbors... We're all the same people.
Knock knock!
"Moon-soo!"
"Yes! Teacher! One sec!"
I answered straight instead of pretending not to be home.
How long's it been since I acted mindful of others?
And I didn't hate it.
Clunk.
I unlocked and cracked open the door. There stood my homeroom teacher with a fruit basket.
"You okay?"
Her first words were concern, not a scolding.
"I'm fine."
"Really? No pain anywhere?"
"No."
"I was so shocked hearing you jumped out the classroom window with no safety gear..."
"Sorry, teacher."
Same situation repeating—I wasn't in my right mind. Jumping out windows 'cause stairs took too long? I was crazy.
"Still, get checked at orthopedics later. Could be hairline fractures."
"Yes."
I answered dutifully, but no plans for a doctor. Full-power swimming caused no issues.
"Now... mind telling me why?"
Here it comes.
"The pressure from the Aptitude Test deciding my life felt overwhelming."
"......"
"......"
"...Yeah. I figured, but hearing it hurts."
"Sorry for the commotion."
She bought it!
I expected it too. As Aptitude Test nears, every high school senior gets edgy nationwide. Enter, senioritis!
This infamous "senioritis"—a proper noun now—is a goldmine excuse for my peers. Bingeing, cursing, violence, cheating, running away... Fits any situation. Even jumping out windows!
Sheesh...
Never thought rational me would resort to excuses.
"Place is a mess."
"Been busy with work..."
To me, this room's just for sleeping.
"Where's your cleaning stuff?"
"Pardon?"
"Should've guessed when I heard no guardian. I was too oblivious."
"N-no! It's fine. I'll clean this weekend!"
"No need. Where—ah, here."
"Really, it's okay..."
I'd never shown this embarrassing place to anyone. Cleaning on top? Too much—I couldn't meet her eyes.
"This isn't school..."
"Kang Moon-soo, school isn't just a paycheck for teachers. It's where we meet our scattered students, as promised."
"Ah..."
"I'm cleaning 'cause I want to. No need to feel burdened."
"I'll help too."
Tap tap.
The cluttered place tidied fast, like my messy heart.
"No matter your aptitude, I'll cheer for you, Kang Moon-soo."
"I know."
That's why you invited fake shaman Yuil-am to school!
"Hm?"
"I mean I know you always look out for me."
"Then no more dangerous stuff like jumping out windows."
"Yes."
We cleaned hard, even sweating.
Regression will mess it up again...
I kept reining in the urge to give up and slack.
Swipe, swish-
"I had a phase of waffling like you, Kang Moon-soo."
My teacher said casually while putting away tools last.
"You? But you said you became a math teacher matching your aptitude."
"Never said the path was smooth."
"Ah..."
Come to think of it.
"I liked history more than math."
"History...?"
"Wasn't great at it, but humanity repeating past mistakes? Fascinating."
"Ah, yes."
Couldn't relate.
"History has no clear answers. Even wars everyone condemns speed up science and medicine. Math? Solutions vary, but only one right answer."
"Ah... Never knew. You often sounded cynical."
Humans repeating mistakes are the dumbest social animals on Earth memory-wise... Didn't peg her for history fan. Felt opposite sometimes.
"What? I know history inside out! Just memorize idiots repeating the same crap different years. Gave up teaching it."
"Why?"
"Can't understand people who don't get repeating history."
"Ah..."
Even if good at a subject, if it doesn't fit your personality, maybe not your aptitude. Blind spot.
"Oops! Wasn't here to complain... Suddenly remembered taking P's Aptitude Test back then."
"No problem."
"Don't repeat mistakes like history, Kang Moon-soo."
"Repeat..."
"Letting it slide this once."
Poke poke!
Her words stabbed like a dagger—she couldn't know I kept repeating the same mistake.
"Got it."
No more repeats.
"Kang Moon-soo, see you in class tomorrow, brighter."
"Thanks for coming."
"No. Just a homeroom teacher's duty. I like you kids more than history."
"...Me too, teacher."
I don't want to lose this homeroom teacher who remembers now.