Mala Tang Monster
I didn't want to get up. I'd clearly dreamed of turning into a girl, and the fact that I'd even taken a piss in that state was utterly ridiculous. At least it was just a dream, right?
Suddenly turning into a woman overnight? No way that could happen. It was only natural. And yet, right here on my chest, this massive lump of fat...
Squish.
"Nngh...!"
I cracked my eyes open at the unfamiliar sensation and glanced down. There it was still, that enormous blob of fat.
"Not a dream, huh."
Truth be told, after yesterday, calling it a dream would've been the real dishonest move, but I'd held out a sliver of hope anyway. And now, poking at it like this gave me this weird sense of comfort—made me kinda understand why Noona was always fiddling with them...
"Hngh!"
A weird noise slipped out, and I yanked my hands away. What the hell was that sound? It was fine just poking around until my fingers... oh.
"Am I seriously losing it...?"
Figuring out why I'd made that noise made my face burn. I buried myself under the covers, hands clamped over my cheeks.
I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. Why the hell had I done that? Had to be the sleepiness—yeah, that was it.
"R-right... It's not my fault, it's this body's weakness to sleep!"
I wriggled around under the blanket for a good while, rationalizing it to myself. After a few minutes, it got too stuffy to stay buried, so I had to poke my face out.
Peeking out just my face, the first thing I checked was the time. Couldn't afford to oversleep like yesterday and rush the stream prep.
"Whoa, up super early."
Thinking about it, I'd crashed around 11 last night, so waking up this early made sense. I wiggled my toes under the blanket and groped around for my phone.
Was I weird for this? Every vacation, waking up early meant more lounging time, and it always put me in a good mood. Once I had the phone, first thing was checking the texts I hadn't gotten to yesterday.
Good, Mom seemed unchanged from the texts... Feeling lighthearted, I tapped on Dad next.
Who the hell was this guy? Didn't sound like my dad at all.
The dad in my memories wasn't this sweet. Back when I enlisted, all he said was "don't die." No way he'd drop hearts like that. Baffled, I closed my eyes and dredged up memories of Dad.
'Our pretty little maknae daughter...'
Hold up. The lisping voice in my head—with his tongue half-gone—sent chills down my spine. The dad in my memories wasn't the one I knew anymore. He was a total daughter-con, fidgeting nonstop around his baby girl.
"Kinda pathetic."
Wasn't too bummed he hadn't been like that with me, but it stung a bit that he'd been so doting on his "daughter." Still, thinking it over, getting treated like a son beat hearing that lisp any day...
"Ugh, whatever."
I flopped face-down and scrolled through the rest. Felt kinda sneaky peeking at "someone else's" phone—kinda fun, actually.
Not a huge group for a department chat, but made sense—semester hadn't started yet. Skipped the boring group and checked the individuals. Wonder who they were.
"Profiles look like guys... who?"
No recollection even closing my eyes. Maybe important? Tapped the texts.
"Eww, fuck."
Even as a guy, this was too much. Creepy as hell checking my profile pic and hitting me up like that.
And this Hyun-woo dude, no reply so he starts excusing himself. Kinda pathetic, if I'm honest. How desperate do you have to be?
"Pathetic... so pathetic."
Shook my head and blocked them without a second thought. No way I could meet guys with streaming, and imagining it made my skin crawl.
"Ugh, gross. Hate it."
If I dated anyone, it'd be a girl over a guy, right? Musing on that, I wriggled in bed, eyes drooping again. Felt too damn good.
"Hiss, ngh...! Cold."
Sunlight hit my eyes, and I felt drool on my lips plus the chill. Half-asleep, I flailed for the blanket but couldn't find it.
"So damn cold..."
Squinting and groping around, I spotted it on the floor under the bed.
"Same bad sleep habits, huh."
Remembered doing this as a guy plenty. Silver lining: smaller body meant it didn't roll off the bed. Curled up, I snagged it and wrapped myself up.
"Feels so freaking good."
Vacation—no school. Four years till graduation, and scholarships for three years already? Studies weren't a worry. Lounging in the blanket, scrolling low chats on my phone.
Oh yeah, checked Mom and Dad but skipped Noona's.
"Ngh...!"
Hauled myself up, stretched, grabbed the phone, and replied.
No joke—reply came instantly. Checked the time.
Free lunch was great, but this timing was iffy. Yesterday, shower, eat, stream setup took two hours. Same today? Late to stream for sure.
Checked the reply, phone in hand, and dragged myself out of bed. Ramen today should be fine, right?
Memories said Ha-yoon Seo ate it often anyway. Shuffled to the kitchen, yanked open the drawer with instant noodles and ham from memory.
"Holy shit..."
Mala tang cup ramen, mala tang rice noodles, mala sauce... Eighty percent mala-related. What a total freak—this had to be Chinese-level obsession. Mind-blowing.
"No wonder the Live2D hair's mala tang colored."
But why was my hand reaching for mala tang cup ramen? Ate tons yesterday—mala tang, mala tteokbokki. Tried resisting, but weak mind lost to body. Grabbed it anyway.
Tranced out, set water in the coffee pot, assembled the ramen like a pro. How often did she eat this to make it so fluid? Ridiculous—but not my place to judge.
"She's nuts."
Mouth watered the second I poured water. After mala tang, mala tteokbokki, now this? Didn't make sense...
Ding!
"Hiss...!"
Microwave beep and the smell hit—yeah, kinda got why saliva pooled. Might turn into a mala freak like her at this rate, but priorities: eat fast, shower, stream.
Rushed to desk, set water and ramen, sat, slurped noodles. As expected, the zingy mala hit, mood soaring.
"Huu... fuck, this is so damn good."
Brain must be broken—tears almost came—but couldn't stop devouring the mala tang ramen.