The Sales Pitch

Before he ever crossed paths with the Providence Church, Jin Sung-do had been a sinner aging away, trapped in the past.

To be fair, a résumé boasting four terms in the National Assembly was certainly something a man could brag about with a hearty 'Back in my day!'

But his golden era had collapsed under an avalanche of scandals, and it ultimately landed him in prison.

Of course, the political world knew the truth: Jin Sung-do hadn't fallen because of any wrongdoing of his own. He'd simply lined up on the wrong side at the wrong time, and been sold off as a sacrificial lamb.

With connections spanning both the progressive and conservative camps, he'd carried the dirty secrets of his fellow politicians down with him when he fell.

At the time, it had been about survival. He knew all too well that lighting the fuse for mutual destruction would only mean death for himself and his family.

That decision later proved a blessing in disguise. Unwittingly, he had left behind a debt of conscience in the minds of sitting and former politicians alike.

Thanks to that, after his release Jin Sung-do could still make cameo appearances at various small gatherings.

One phone call, and he could share a meal or a drink, free of charge, with party elders and power brokers from any camp... and that was precisely the extent of his twilight years.

Ironically, it was because he held no real power at all that they could relax around him.

"Hyung-nim, what is going on with you? You look younger every time I see you. Show me one wrinkle that says you're in your seventies like me!"

"Jealous, are you?"

"Dead jealous. What's your secret?"

"If you're so jealous, retire from politics. Live stress-free and I guarantee you'll stay ten years younger, minimum."

"Oh come on. Stress may be the root of all illness, but does that even make sense? And I don't think you've even dyed your hair?"

Inside an old tavern, two men clinked glasses and picked at their side dishes between words.

Despite Jin Sung-do having gone so far as to age himself with makeup, the gap between him and the politician across the table refused to close.

It was like watching a meticulously maintained celebrity sit beside an ordinary man who'd taken the headwinds of the decades straight to the face.

"So, how's life these days? Treating yourself well? Saw the news the other day — looks like you'll be Speaker of the Assembly."

"Ah, yes, that's happening. It's a fisherman's catch, really — pure luck."

"Congratulations all the same. One more line for your résumé before you retire."

"Sounds like a half-hearted congratulations, but thank you anyway. Truth be told, this seat should have been yours all along, hyung-nim."

The incoming Speaker of the National Assembly, elder statesman of the ruling party, wore a bitter smile.

The third-most prestigious post in the land after President and Prime Minister, yet the politician before him showed no joy whatsoever.

"Hyung-nim... do you resent us?"

"Resent?"

"Yes."

"Well, for three years or so after I got out, I did. Or maybe... maybe I resented you right up until recently."

"It showed."

"Did it?"

"Yes. Every time we met for a meal, I could feel the weight of it still sitting in you."

"And yet you had the nerve to keep me alive?"

"That's exactly why we spared you. If you'd shown no resentment at all, it would have frightened us more."

"Politicians, every last one of you..."

Jin Sung-do clicked his tongue as he looked at his political junior — the very man he'd once sworn brotherhood with.

"The problem is the hyung-nim of today. These days you're strangely free ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of it. Not a trace of resentment in your expression, your eyes, your speech — nothing."

"Aiigo! And so? Does that worry you now?"

"It does, actually. Normally I should be asking myself, what's this old man scheming? Planning to blow something up before he dies? — and yet, strangely, that thought never comes."

Well, naturally. The passive skill was running on autopilot at this very moment.

Jin Sung-do smirked to himself.

"I just got old and found religion, that's all. It's brought me peace."

"Religion? You? Which one do you follow?"

"Oh, you know. One thing or another. Ah — by the way, how's Minju doing? Your only daughter. We all thought she'd never marry, and then she went and did it. When was it? Five years ago?"

Jin Sung-do glossed over the question.

"Yes, well... she's doing fine."

At Jin Sung-do's question, the junior man's voice turned noticeably gloomy.

"And the grandchild? Have you seen them? Minju married so late, I'd been a little worried."

Jin Sung-do knew perfectly well why his junior was responding so despondently, but he shamelessly played ignorant and pressed on.

"Haah..."

A long sigh spilled from the younger man's lips.

"Hyung-nim, I think my karma has finally come due."

"Why? What's happened?"

"It's... it's autism. My grandson... *hnngh*... and they say it's severe, on top of that...!"

"Oh no...!"

Watching his junior — his sworn brother — finally break down in tears, Jin Sung-do felt a deep pang of pity.

"Everyone says it's because of my age, having a child so late in life... but I don't believe that. It's just my own karma. I did every dirty thing imaginable to climb this high. Why, even to you, hyung-nim... *whew*..."

"Aiigo... why are you flogging yourself like this? Your grandson's condition is nobody's fault — least of all yours."

"Honestly, you're a strange one, hyung-nim. After we betrayed you and cast you aside, and still you sit here listening to my sobbing..."

Jin Sung-do listened to the man's grievances in silence.

Every now and then, he made the gestures of someone genuinely listening.

The Cleric passive skill, received with his stigma, fired as naturally as breathing.

And the longer the junior man spent unburdening himself, the more visibly his expression softened.

He could even see the knot of resentment in the man's heart coming undone.

Status Window.

While listening to his sworn brother's woes, Jin Sung-do glanced over the Status Window Idol.

Ever since the stigma had been granted to him, his status window had undergone a dramatic transformation.

The daily quests alone had changed completely.

"Whew... my, my. What a spectacle an old man makes of himself. I've done nothing but talk about myself. Hahahaha!"

He'd been staring blankly at the status window, and somewhere along the way his brother's litany of woes had apparently come to an end.

"I suppose it's true, then — you really have devoted yourself to a religion. How should I put it? I honestly feel so comforted right now."

His brother's face and voice did indeed look considerably lighter.

"About your grandchild. There's someone I know — a truly gifted healer... What do you say? Shall I make an introduction?"

And with that, Jin Sung-do launched his sales pitch at the man before him.

"A gifted healer? Forgive me, but this is autism that even modern medicine can't cure."

"Well, that's because it isn't modern medicine."

"Don't tell me... the religion you follow, senior, isn't... that kind of thing, is it?"

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh? Well? Interested?"

"..."

Elder Jin Sung-do's sales outreach was a resounding success, day after day.

It was nothing short of astonishing how he kept reeling in fish this enormous.

"Mom! Dad!"

"Aaaahh...! Hasung!"

"Thank you! Firstborn ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Son Lee Seop! Thank you!"

The treatment of the five-year-old boy had just concluded.

"Thank you for your week of hardship. Yeonok-dong isn't well connected for transit, so I imagine the daily trips were quite a burden."

"Oh no, not at all! It was you who endured the hardship, Firstborn Son!"

"Thank you for truly saving our son! Lee Seop-nim! Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts!"

A grueling week-long course of treatment.

Frankly, if I had dumped everything into the Priest's Mental Therapy skill, plus Blessings and Luck, the boy could have been cured in a single day.

But that was never an option.

There was only one of me, and my holy power was far from infinite.

The prayers of believers replenished my holy power from moment to moment, but they did nothing to restore my mental stamina.

Even now, countless believers were waiting daily for my touch — I could hardly clear my whole schedule for one child.

"Hasung! Hasung, is it true? Are you really all better?!"

Belatedly, an elderly man came rushing in, out of breath.

A famous politician I'd often seen in the media. Joo Young-cheol, I believe his name was?

"Grandfather?"

"Ohhhh! My grandson!"

The boy with severe autism who hadn't recognized even his own parents days ago now recognized not just his mother and father but his grandfather as well, and threw himself into the old man's arms.

"Yes! Yes! *Hoo-hhuhh...!*"

Joo Young-cheol laughed with the joy of a man who owned the whole world.

Tears of happiness streamed endlessly from both his eyes.

"Hyung-nim... thank you. Truly, thank you! I've done nothing but wrong by you, and yet you've showered me with grace like this!"

Having wept for a long while with his grandson clasped to his chest, Joo Young-cheol turned at last to Jin Sung-do, who had followed them in, and spoke through his tears and snot alike.

"Don't thank me — thank Lee Seop-nim. He's the one who toiled all week for your boy."

"O-of course! Lee Seop-nim... how could I ever repay this debt? Truly..."

Joo Young-cheol gently released his grandson from his arms and immediately dropped to his knees before me in a deep bow.

"Thank you. Lee Seop-nim!"

"Whatever you need — anything at all — just say the word. I may not look it, but I'm a man with some pull in this country."

"Me too, Lee Seop-nim! Should any legal matter ever arise, call on me anytime."

As Joo Young-cheol knelt, the boy's parents followed suit.

"Hasung, you truly have wonderful parents and a wonderful grandfather."

"Hehehe."

The boy with the titanium spoon — grandson of a sitting Speaker of the National Assembly, son of a senior police official and an executive at a major law firm — beamed brightly.

"From this day forward, we believe in the Providence Church! We will patronize the Mother of All Things and Her Firstborn Son! You know what I've learned? People out there mock our Providence Church as a cult! Absolutely unacceptable! I'll draft a special law right away—!"

"No — no, please. There's no need for that."

I soothed Joo Young-cheol, who was already halfway to full-blown zealotry.

"One thing to note: Hasung will need periodic spiritual healing. Without it, he could develop psychotic disorders or ADHD."

"Oh no! Then... then what must we do?"

"Please! Please look after our Hasung! Lee Seop-nim!"

At my words, the boy's parents clung to me pitifully.

The sight was surreal.

The very moment they stepped outside Yeonok-dong, these were the men who reigned at the very summit of this nation — yet here they were, on their knees before me.

"Just send the child here about twice a year. Summer and winter would be ideal. My clergy and I will bestow blessings upon him. All he needs is to receive those blessings on a regular schedule."

I explained the after-sales service to my customer.

"Also... our Foundation has just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠released a new product — the Holy Water Diffuser. Keep one in the boy's room at all times. It aids spiritual healing, and it'll help his studies too."

Even as I worked the room, I kept one eye on the status window.

Two of the three carried some karmic weight.

An ordinary person's karma averaged somewhere between 5 and 10 percent.

For the upper crust of society, the average ran 11 to 20 percent.

For the record, anyone whose karma exceeded 50 percent was classified as a thoroughly evil person and could not be welcomed into the flock. Baptisms and blessings had no effect on them whatsoever.

Joo Young-cheol is cutting it awfully close.

From what I could see, he hadn't committed any grievous sins, but neither had he lived a clean life.

"Honey, let's look into a decent place near Yeonok-dong right away."

"Yes! I hear the schools around Yeonok-dong all fall under Providence Church jurisdiction now — better to raise our Hasung here altogether."

And then it happened. Perhaps on account of my sales pitch, the boy's parents went into full acceleration mode.

Startled, I moved to rein them in.

"There's really no need. You both have jobs, and the commute out here would be—"

"No, Lee Seop-nim! My husband and I have seen the light! We understand now — Yeonok-dong is destined to become the holy site of the twenty-first century!"

"That's right! Yeonok-dong will one day become a world-renowned holy land surpassing Jerusalem and Mecca. And our child ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠will grow up in that holy land. Daechi-dong will look like a joke by comparison!"

"Ahh. So it's real estate investment."

When a fanatical obsession with a late-born child transmuted into faith, the resulting fervor was anything but modest.

The senior police official and law firm executive before me — a couple who'd once stood at the brink of divorce over their child — were now as lovey-dovey as newlyweds.

"Um... would this, by any chance, violate the doctrines of the Providence Church?"

"Not at all, so long as you don't use it to rake in obscene profits or throw your weight around."

"Then would this be acceptable? We will purchase real estate around Yeonok-dong and donate it to the Foundation!"

"Excellent idea, darling! We'll keep a single home for our family to live in and donate every last piece of the rest to the Foundation!"

And just like that, I could see the couple's karma tick down — a small amount, but a decrease all the same.

"According to Providence. All things unfold according to Providence."

Watching the pair, Joo Young-cheol traced the sign of the cross over his chest — the Providence-style sign of the cross, naturally.

"I, too, shall donate every last slush fun— ahem, emergency reserve fund I've been keeping to the Foundation."

Joo Young-cheol's karma dropped as well.

A full two percent — that slush fund of his was clearly no pocket change.

Mother... I am so embarrassed on your behalf.

Of course, karma reduction through donations had a ceiling.

Roughly 5 percent. Beyond that, no amount of money would move the needle.

And if one's karma exceeded 50 percent, donations became impossible in the first place.

"Our grandson! Our grandson is healed?!"

"Good heavens! What on earth—!"

And then, from behind us, came the cries of yet another elderly couple.

The boy's paternal grandparents.

Naturally, the paternal side was no ordinary set of high-placed figures either.

From what I'd heard, the grandfather was a former Commissioner General of the National Police, currently serving as an advisor to a major corporation.

The grandmother was, at present, the president of a famous university.

Elder, your sales results are absolutely killer.

I turned to Elder Jin Sung-do in genuine admiration and gave him a thumbs-up.

Elder Jin Sung-do quietly bowed his head.

And across his lowered face flashed a pride and joy beyond all words.

And so the final transfer of my career as a Priest drew to a close.