Day One of the Journey: Deceiving a Child
The hut reeked. Inside, what had once been the girl's mother lay on the bed with her skin already rotting—flesh gone black, flies drifting over the corpse, maggots writhing wherever the skin had been eaten away.
"Sis... is our mom really sick?"
When I said nothing, the girl asked again, her face tight with worry. She had no idea her mother was dead. She was still smiling, bright and untroubled.
"Mm... she's very sick. It'll take a long time to treat her, I think. For now, go outside and play with this little one."
"Ah... uh... mm..."
I set the black-haired child down and herded the two of them out as if I were shooing them away.
"Y-you have to tell me when Mom wakes up!"
"Ah... uh..."
"Of course I will."
I smiled, soft and reassuring, and settled both the girl and the black-haired child. The moment the hut door closed, I let the smile go, and my face went blank.
The girl's mother had been dead a long time. This was not something a potion could mend.
Raising the dead was beyond a saintess, and beyond a necromancer too. A potion could not bring the dead back to life. Potions were not all-powerful. I knew that better than anyone.
Should I tell the girl the truth? That her mother was gone...
...I had already lied to her. What was I so afraid of? I could just... lie again. It wasn't even hard.
But as she grew, the girl would learn. She would learn that her mother had left and was never coming back.
Was this really the best way? Nothing else would come to me.
I reached for the corpse and spoke the spell.
"Restore."
"Control."
⟨ Restore · Control ⟩
"Sis... did our mom really wake up?"
"Yes. Look over there. She's sitting up on the bed."
"Oh... Mom!"
I let the girl back into the hut and brought mother and daughter together again. The girl's mother welcomed her with skin the warm color of a living peach, and a lovely smile.
"Mom... are you really Mom?"
The mother said nothing. She only drew the girl into her arms, and the girl clung to her in return and wept. A touching reunion of mother and daughter. That was what it was.
"Sis, thank you. Really... really..."
Every time the girl looked at me, she bobbed her head in a bow. Tears ran from her eyes, but there was no grief in her face to be found.
"Ah... uh...?"
The black-haired child tugged at my sleeve as well, as if he had begun to miss a mother of his own.
...I'm sorry. I'm not your mother.
"Mom, why aren't you saying anything... You just keep petting me like always. Why won't you praise me... I worked so hard while you were sick..."
The girl was puzzled by her mother's silence.
Watching that made my stomach burn. Deceiving a person—and a little child, at that—with the corpse of her own family.
I bit down on my lip. I could not forgive myself, and blood began to well where my teeth broke the skin.
"Sis... Mom isn't talking..."
The girl asked me again, her face fallen. Unlike a moment ago, this expression held sorrow.
"Mm... your mom has caught a sickness."
"Th-then what do we do...?"
I gave the girl the lie I had prepared. With every word, my insides twisted and my head began to ache.
"Mm... what's your name?"
"Lisa... I'm Lisa..."
"R-really?"
I was the one who had said it. The words had come out of my own mouth, and still I disgusted myself.
Tricking Lisa. Forcing her away from her parent. My breath grew rough, and I could barely keep my face in order.
"Uh... Sis, are you okay?"
She had noticed the change in my expression and my body, and Lisa was worrying over me.
Worrying about the person who was lying to her... Ha. That pure little face made my stomach turn.
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for worrying, Lisa."
"Okay... so after a hundred nights at the orphanage, Mom won't be sick anymore?"
"...That's right."
"I'm so glad... I only have to get through a hundred nights..."
Lisa smiled a smile that looked utterly pure, still holding tight to the thing that had been her mother.
All I could do for her was help her get safely into an orphanage.
Was this really the best I could have done...
I released the magic I had laid upon Lisa's mother.
"Ah... uh?"
As the spell came undone, the black-haired child watched the mother who had looked perfectly fine become a corpse again.
"Incinerate."
I burned Lisa's mother's body, so that she might rest in peace.
The flames crackled. The corpse's face looked as if it were smiling—as if to thank me for saving her daughter.
...This is nothing but a victory I made up in my own head. I am not all right at all...
Should I simply have ignored the girl...
Lisa went into the orphanage, just as I had told her to. Someday she would know. She would know that I had lied. That I had deceived her...
I crouched and watched until the body burned down to dust and disappeared. The black-haired child watched beside me.
"...What's your name?"
"Ah... uh?"
The black-haired child looked puzzled, as if the very idea of a name were foreign to him. Of course he couldn't speak. He didn't have a tongue to begin with...
"I'll have to heal that tongue, too..."
"Ah... uh..."
"What should I call you..."
I stared at the black-haired child without a word. He stared back at me the same way.
When the corpse had burned completely and nothing remained but ash, a name came to me all at once.
"Ashe. Ash. Your name is Ashe Ash."
"Ah... eh?"
"Yes. Ash. That's your name now."
In the tongue of witches, it meant burnt ash. A name that suited the moment I was standing in. The child seemed not to mind; he gave no particular reaction.
"Ash, where's your home?"
"Eh... uh?"
Ash pointed a finger at the sky. Come from heaven, had he? Awfully sentimental.
"All right. Until you find your mother, I'll look after you. I don't know how long that will be..."
I haven't found my own mother, either...
My stomach growled.
"Ah. Right. I haven't eaten. Ash, you're hungry too, aren't you?"
Ash gave a quiet nod. So he was hungry after all.
I picked Ash up and turned back toward the city, where a festival was in full swing. A den of beasts—but I needed their help all the same.
"Two bowls of vegetable porridge, as you ordered."
I stepped into a modest restaurant and ordered two bowls of porridge. Steam curled softly from them, and finely sliced carrots and mashed potatoes sat on top, enough to stir an appetite.
For Ash, who had no tongue, I had ordered something he could actually eat.
"Slrp... ah."
Ash stared at the porridge with drool at his mouth. He had been starving... How cute.
"You can eat. It's yours."
"Ahp... mmph... ah."
At my word, Ash swallowed the porridge in a rush. He couldn't taste it, so the meal was nothing but filling his belly, but he seemed satisfied with that much and could hardly get it down fast enough.
Isn't that hot? Eating it with his bare hands...
I'll have to teach him a few things.
Once he had finished a bowl in no time, Ash looked at what remained. That was my porridge.
"Eat it. I'm not hungry."
"Hap... ah..."
Ash swallowed this bowl just as fast. Using his hands instead of a spoon showed me plainly what kind of life he had lived.
There was no one else in the restaurant. An unpopular place, then. Still, with nobody around, the quiet was rather nice.
"That'll be four coppers."
"Yes, just a moment..."
I checked through my sleeves to pay, but I couldn't find any money. More precisely, there was no money to find.
"Ah."
Right. I'd spent every coin I had getting Ash.
The realization came late, and I let out a sigh. Ash only stared at me blankly, understanding nothing.
"Customer... don't tell me you haven't any money?"
"...Ahaha..."
The owner had noticed I was broke, and his gaze turned sharp. What was I supposed to do about this?
All I could manage was an awkward smile while I wondered whether I was about to dine and dash.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..."
"You may go, for today."
"...What?"
I had expected him to shout at me, or to call the guards. Instead the restaurant owner went on wiping bowls as if it were nothing at all.
...Why?
"...It's awkward to ask with my own mouth, but... why?"
"The truth is, today is my last day in business. Running this restaurant, I found a happiness and a love that were mine alone... and taking a few more coppers isn't going to change my life in any great way. You enjoyed the porridge, so if anything, I'm the one who's grateful."
Saying so, the restaurant owner smiled faintly and rubbed his bare scalp. The stress of the work, perhaps. Not a single hair remained on his head.
"It's closing time, so please head on out. Oh—and don't go spreading word, wherever you go, that a person can eat here without paying. All right?"
With that, the restaurant owner laughed a soft heh-heh and started on the dishes.
"..."
Was this the sort of person Mother had meant? Someone who gives himself up for the sake of another.
"Ah... uh?"
Ash tugged at my sleeve without a word, as if to hurry me along.
Even beasts repay a kindness once it has been shown to them. I could not simply leave someone who had offered me goodwill.
A soft rush of air—and one potion, drawn from subspace.
A potion, the word written large across the glass.
Hair
"Sir, would you accept this in place of payment for the porridge?"
"Hm? And what is that, that you'd offer it?"
The restaurant owner looked at what I held out, plainly puzzled.
"It's a potion. It's good for your health."
"Heh heh. Live long enough and you see all sorts of things. Thank you, Mage."
This time the restaurant owner thanked me, and accepted the potion. It was something that looked as if he needed it just now, so I gave it to him.
The burning ache inside me was slowly growing faint.