The Weight of a Life Without Attachment
The Otherworld War continued, yet Grey’s face showed no change in expression as he answered. Seeing that indifferent reaction, the Origin of the Mage God shook his head.
Grey certainly possesses the power and the qualifications of Grey, but his personality has a serious problem. Having lived through endless hardship from childhood until death, he feels no attachment to life. No, it would be more accurate to say he places no meaning on the world itself.
Even now, consumed by resentment toward the Golden Absolute who had once erased him and the Black Flame Absolute who had deleted him, he was using not only his own Grey domain but even his past self as nothing more than tools for the request. It was a severe case. At this rate, the Origin of the Mage God worried that if the request succeeded, Grey might choose to vanish on his own.
If Grey disappeared, he would have to raise another Grey—that had been his promise to Grandfather Truth. Such backbreaking labor was something he wanted to refuse ever again.
“Even though you’re the Mage God of Dimensions who denies reality, your symptoms are quite severe. For now, I’ll add this to the list of rewards based on performance. The Wind Family cannot profit from dealings with the higher-ranked 10 Mainstays anyway.”
“I am truly delighted. I’m sure my past self is also grateful for your mercy and consideration, Origin.”
The Origin of the Mage God answered Grey’s words in a tone of utter disbelief.
“Ah—! That thick-headed idiot? Your past self, the Mage God of Dimensions, is thanking me? In all my years, this is the first time I’ve taught someone so dense. And that same guy who lusted after impossible higher-circle magic, kept running his mouth, and charged in until the bitter end? Yeah, sure. Even if he felt that way, the moment something slightly annoying happens he’d start whining immediately, wouldn’t he?”
“…….”
Yet Grey’s face remained completely unchanged. Even after hearing such harsh criticism of his past self, he merely observed the Creator Gods moving to the front lines. The Origin of the Mage God clicked his tongue at the sight.
He had expected at least some reaction regarding his past self, but there was none at all. Mage Gods were fundamentally pessimistic and had little interest in anything beyond their objectives. Denying reality and manifesting the ideals within one’s heart required enormous effort and computational power; there was simply no mental bandwidth left for other matters.
“Suppose, hypothetically, that once this request is over, because the current you has become Grey, your past self could choose death without any reprimand from Grandfather Truth. What would your past self do? Or rather—what would you do?”
“I would die. Once the objective is achieved, life holds no value. If it gets bad enough, I would either commit suicide immediately or fight against everything that ever made me angry until I am annihilated.”
The Grey Absolute spoke as if the answer required no thought at all. Whether the words came from his current self or his past circumstances was unclear, but they likely applied to both. These beings harbored neither lingering attachment to life nor any hope.
Grey would never have existed this long if not for his desire for revenge against the Golden and Black Flame who had annihilated and deleted his struggling past self. The Mage God of Dimensions he had trained was nearly the same. In fact, without clear targets for revenge, it was even worse.
If he hadn’t received the restrictions from Grandfather Truth, he was so steeped in murderous intent and poison toward the world that he would have done anything. Even knowing the result would be self-destruction, he was a dangerous bomb waiting for the chance to vent his rage.
Yet although the power he possessed was immense, because it had been rapidly cultivated through dark magic, his weaknesses were far too numerous. Against a properly trained opponent of equal or greater strength, those fatal flaws would prove decisive. He would rampage and then be killed instantly. Knowing this, he stayed quiet for now—but if cornered, there was no telling what he might do.
From the Origin of the Mage God’s perspective, it was absurd that the two mightiest beings in his lineage were both suicidal.
“You show no mercy. Well, for a Mage God whose very authority is rooted in the denial of reality, it is a wall that must be overcome. You must create absolute value in the very reality you deny, yet this… there is truly no hope…”
He briefly surveyed the Mage God of Dimensions’ current situation. It was so wretched that even the God of Light and the Main God of the Divine Realm would find it ridiculous.
Not a single one of his subordinates offered loyalty to the Divine Realm or its Main God; they all moved according to their own interests and losses.
Even his direct forces were said to be prisoners obtained from somewhere, and they already operated under a similar power structure. The gods of the Divine Realm had no intention of sacrificing themselves for it; they only thought of their own safety and expanding their factions. It was only natural that the Main God would find it unbearable.
Yet somehow the Main God was still holding on with such a Divine Realm. It was almost admirable. He couldn’t drive them out, either. Normal gods would never gather around the worst and most vicious dark mage in existence—a human-born practitioner of black magic.
In such conditions, any affection for reality felt impossibly distant.
Grey spoke the truth with calm detachment, stating a decisive fate.
“My past self, who was desperate to raise his realm through dark magic, lacked the dignity to match that power. If I had started as some minor lower god instead of the Main God of the Divine Realm and climbed gradually, things might have been different. But as a human-born Mage God who practiced the worst form of black magic, I was destined to be disposed of. That fate is sealed the moment a dark-magic practitioner becomes the God of Light. I should have cleaned up and left before becoming the Main God of the Divine Realm, but greed for divine power support stopped me. Even now it isn’t too late—becoming a Creator God would grant more than double the current growth support. And with each further promotion, even greater support follows. I can never escape this yoke. Heh heh— The craving for promotion suppresses the denial of reality, but if that collapses, I will surely self-destruct. It is the result of being unable to abandon desire, so ultimately I have only myself to blame. So far everything has gone well, but the limit is near. More importantly, with the Creator Gods returning to the front lines, tension has risen to its peak again. If we maintain this until the Ranking War, our preparations will be complete.”
“What about the Mage God of Dimensions’ preparations? You’ve persuaded the subordinate Main Gods and completed the Lord God War preparations, right? No matter how much you and I block the major backlash from our intervention, we cannot prevent the minor effects. Because we intervened in the future, even greater forces than before will oppose us in the past. Even though I trained him, that level of preparation is absolutely not enough for him to handle alone.”
“…….”
Only then did Grey’s face harden. There was no way he didn’t know what his past self had done. Far from persuading them, his insolent attitude would provoke their tempers, and in the end he would try to step forward alone. In the past it had been a defensive battle so he received some help, but now he would have to face the All-Powerful Splendor and the Main Gods of the Main Divine Realm completely by himself. It was a perfect demonstration that when a hot-tempered fool makes plans, he digs his own grave.
Realizing the full situation from Grey’s expression, the Origin of the Mage God’s tone changed.
“Did he cause another accident? The most important guy in this matter?”
“He gave up on persuasion and moved straight into independent preparations. He is gathering information, creating divine artifacts, and altering the battlefield.”
“Ahahaha—! What the hell is this? There isn’t much time left until the Ranking War. What does he think he’s going to do at this point? First, tell me what the changed plan is.”
“Even I cannot predict what kind of plan my past self will come up with.”
“Your future self doesn’t know what your past self is going to do? Does that even make sense?”
At those words, the Grey Absolute removed the robe he was wearing and gave a refreshing smile. It was extremely twisted, yet the pride in it was unmistakable.
“Even if the plan had proceeded normally, the odds of victory were less than half. A fate of defeat and death does not change so easily. No matter how he wins, he can never become the Lord God. A God of Light who has learned black magic can never obtain the support of the divine race. At best, even in victory he fails to become the Lord God. In the end he would have the position of Main God of the Divine Realm stolen from him, left with only nominal recognition as the God of Light and an indefinite long-term standby. He would be treated as a weapon to be used in the next racial decision battle of the 499th Master Universe. It seems my past self unconsciously realized this and changed all his plans.”
“Oh? Can a Mage God who learned black magic truly become the Lord God? By what means would he obtain the support of the entire Main Divine Realm? Or rather, even in this situation, is he still trying to take everything he can get? Shouldn’t one abandon what must be abandoned in order to move forward?”
“Heh heh heh heh heh—! Only the strong can choose the good things, while the weak take the remaining bad ones, right? Because he refused to be satisfied with the bad, my past self exists. In order to seize the good no matter what, he gritted his teeth, accepted the stigma and notoriety of being the worst and most vicious Mage God, and mobilized every means and method to become the victorious strong one. You, who became Grey and can handle everything with your own power and schemes, and the Origin of the Mage God may not understand, but if it were my past self from the days of the Mage God of Dimensions, it might be possible.”
At Grey’s words, filled with self-confidence, the Origin of the Mage God asked again with a strange expression.
“What if he runs out of strength midway and throws everything away? Can you trust your past self to the end? No, fundamentally, how can you trust a guy who suddenly changes plans like this? And why does this bastard handle everything on his own without any explanation? Even if he is a Mage God, shouldn’t he at least maintain basic courtesy toward his allies?”
“That has always been the problem. It seems the plan did not gain our support. There is no longer any time to revert it to the original. There are only two weeks left until the Ranking War ends.”
“Two weeks? Thanks to my excellent descendant, I cannot exert my full power either. You and the Mage God of Dimensions will have to handle it completely on your own.”
At those words, surprise rose on Grey’s face. He knew better than anyone the power of the Origin of the Mage God’s authority of reality denial—an authority that could nullify any injury or deletion through absolute denial of reality. An injury should have been impossible.
“You are injured? How is that possible?”
“The new Origin of the Wind Family is strong. He was born inherently stronger than the previous generation, so it is only natural, but this time he is especially powerful. His father, my descendant, must have had some idea and trained him brutally. He too sensed that this is a time of change and wanted to make him a central figure. Moreover, the place he fled to happened to be the Otherworld, so even with help from the other grandfathers, it took considerable effort to catch him.”
“Oh? Then he could be used as another card.”
“Puhuhuhuhu—! So I somehow brought him back. Let’s use him well. We need to land a blow on Golden as well. Put in more effort, Lord Grey.”
“As you wish.”
The Origin of the Mage God and Grey laughed pleasantly. Two weeks remained until the Ranking War, and an unprecedented peace had descended upon history. The Dimensional Divine Realm was in a similar state.
The fact that the Divine Realm had been half-destroyed paradoxically meant there was more work to do. All the gods were working together to rebuild it, so conflicts had decreased. There was also no leisure to pay attention to newly ascended gods who had not yet joined any faction.
Yet there was no problem. It felt like a long-awaited period of rest and guaranteed safety. Moreover, as long as there was vitality, there was no need to eat or excrete, which made it even more relaxing.
“Aah. It’s peaceful. It’s a forest, yet there are no beasts or monsters. It really is peaceful, just as a divine realm should be.”
Lightly moving his body and checking his newly acquired divine form, the Hero God’s face never lost its satisfied expression. Perhaps because it had been created based on his own body, there was no sense of incongruity at all. As expected of a god’s body, all the sword energy and techniques he had only envisioned in the past could now be realized instantly—and in practice, they could.
Feeling the greatness of a divine body that could grow endlessly stronger in the safe environment of the Divine Realm, he could not help but feel joy. However, he did not forget the Divine Sword’s warning to stay vigilant.
“Isn’t it a good thing? It’s peaceful and the restoration is going smoothly. Isn’t that the best? There must be some internal circumstances.”