Nothing Ever Goes Right

The Dimensional Divine Realm of the 499th Master Universe in the Spirit Realm War had its reputation upgraded from a total mess to an outright madhouse. As a fledgling divine realm that had ascended to Highest ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Creator God rank through the vitality plundered from its near all-out war with the 500th Master Universe, such an absurd assessment was only natural given the makeup of its Main Gods. Most were spirit gods who had either ruined their own realms or suffered defeat, and under normal circumstances promotion should have been impossible. It was made possible solely by the overwhelming power of the Divine Realm Lord God who had shouldered the main forces of the 500th Master Universe.

Yet the news that this very Lord God—who had achieved such feats—had accepted the Eternal Judgment as an Absolute bearing a title and been dragged away to the Wind Star of Black Flame had not been relayed internally. The truth was they simply lacked the capacity to handle it. The highest echelons—the female Main Gods, the Spirit Main Gods, and the ultra-high gods—were all permanently stationed in the grand bath filled with the Cosmic Tree’s sap, focused entirely on recovering their divine power and physical bodies.

Because of past grudges from the days they had killed one another, lost their divine realms, and fallen to become spirit gods, they remained fully armed and wary of each other. It was more accurate to say they had no interest whatsoever in the Divine Realm Lord God, who was bound to them only by contractual ties. Still, their divine power recovery had already been perfectly replenished the moment their bodies healed, so they needed further training or to recruit believers. But in this state of mutual standoff, they could do neither.

Then, without warning, the mechanical voice of the Divine Realm’s self rang through the grand bath.

Gaiana’s crescent-moon eyebrows furrowed of their own accord at the self’s voice, which carried zero respect and sounded almost like an order. Now that it had become the self of a Highest Creator Divine Realm, it ignored commands entirely and only delivered reports like this when it suited its needs. Naturally her reply was equally sharp.

“So now you’re even omitting honorifics.”

“My rank is now that of a Highest Creator-level Divine Realm self. I would not normally converse with an Upper Main God at all, but since you are the Acting Divine Realm Lord I am making this report. The esteemed personage absolutely cannot be kept waiting, so I am currently entertaining them with refreshments. The business is an urgent audience with the Divine Realm Lord.”

“An urgent audience? Shouldn’t he be on the battlefield right now? Why not meet him there directly?”

“The mercenary battle has concluded and he is currently returning. His location cannot be tracked.”

“He’s returning but his location can’t be tracked? What are you talking about? With the Main Divine Realm and the Cyber Realm he should be able to move instantly. Is he traveling under his own power?”

“Explanation will come later. The situation is urgent, Acting Divine Realm Lord Gaiana. As the Divine Realm self, I do not possess the qualification to face that personage. Please respond immediately.”

“F-fine.”

Shwaaaaaah—!

When she rose from the grand bath the Cosmic Tree’s sap slid down her body. Her breasts and hips were bountiful beyond measure while her waist and limbs remained slender, creating a figure that ranked among the highest in both seductive charm and pure elegance even among goddesses. The thin, flowing garment clung transparently to every curve with the sap, drawing gasps of admiration from the other goddesses.

Normally this would have ended with heavenly attire alone, but Gaiana was also armed with light armor resembling the partial plate of the demon race.

‘These beings were once Main Gods, so they hold no particular grudge against me—a member of the Almighty Race that fought Jinri, self-destructed, and once stood as the dominant species above even Creator Gods.’

Yet the atmosphere was so murderous that she kept a light battle aura active. At the same time the primordial war gods rose as well. The new body and potential granted by the Dimensional Mage God were so immense that Main God-level authority could not begin to measure them. Even controlling the power was difficult, and only ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠past body-training experience and battlefield instincts allowed her to handle it at all. Still, she needed to move in person to build familiarity. Even so, producing combat strength on par with an ordinary Main God was no problem, which was why she stood between the female Main Gods and Spirit Main Gods to prevent clashes.

With one hundred primordial war gods possessing power above ordinary Main Gods and the Upper Almighty Main God Gaiana barely maintaining order, the Dimensional Divine Realm’s forces were expanding at a terrifying rate. It was reassuring that the upper demon realm inside the planet had become insignificant by comparison, but the moment Gaiana stood the two sides immediately seized their divine weapons and began radiating fighting spirit. The resulting headache made her temples throb.

‘Now that the common enemy of the demon realm is gone, the old grudges over lost partners and divine realms have surfaced. We’re one step from civil war.’

The only reason it had not already erupted was that the Dimensional Mage God, the current Divine Realm Lord, possessed the title Origin as an Absolute and held the authority of Dimension—an ability supremely suited to faction development even if it was extremely difficult to master. Without the shared goal of restoring their former glory as Main Gods of the old Divine Realm and rebuilding their forces, they would have had no reason to endure this situation.

Gaiana had never imagined that the female Main Gods who had once lived comfortably as the highest deities of the round table were in fact the core members of the Goddess Alliance. Or rather, their entire clan had tried to copy abilities while fighting Jinri, suffered total self-destruction of their Almighty Race powers, and been forced to descend to the position of Agriculture Goddess. They had turned their backs on her.

‘I lacked the power to stop them, and I didn’t hold enough of a grudge against the former Divine Realm Lord to fight with everything I had. The main reason was that they refused to help restore the destroyed circle of divine power, which required enormous divine power and vitality.’

Now she had regained the circle of divine power and, even without a partner, held the glorious position of Acting Lord of a top-tier divine realm. Everything had changed, yet the Divine Realm had become a madhouse of accumulated conflicts newly joined by the Spirit Main Gods. No precise news had arrived about what kind of mercenary battle had taken place, but the fact that the self—which had reached Highest Creator rank and grown arrogant enough to ignore Main Gods—had suddenly lowered its attitude told her everything.

He would return having grown even stronger once again. The divine race, having lost most of their human bodies and reconstituted themselves as spiritual beings, looked breathtakingly beautiful and adorable. When she thought of the immense dimensional divine power contained within them, the circle of divine power she had restored through vitality received via their bodies seemed to burn hot. Yet the sight of the female Main Gods and Spirit Main Gods radiating killing intent and fighting spirit without restraint made her insides freeze as if she had swallowed ice.

‘The ones managing the Divine Realm and sitting at the very top are the same people who look ready to kill each other at any moment.’

If not for the absolute order prohibiting war within the Divine Realm, they would already be slaughtering one another without hesitation. Moreover, before the Spirit Main Gods had been incorporated they had openly tried to kill her, so mediation was impossible. For gods who never forgot, reconciliation did not exist.

‘It’s absurd that I have to lead people who are practically mortal enemies and run the Divine Realm. No wonder rumors call it a miracle the place hasn’t collapsed yet.’

If even a mere proxy like herself felt this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠way, she could easily imagine the Divine Realm Lord’s torment. It was said that if a divine realm collapsed the punishment inflicted on its Lord was unimaginably harsh. ‘But before that, won’t he just run away first? This divine realm that has existed for so long is becoming truly unmanageable. Even the Sage of Omniscience from the Almighty Race suddenly sent greetings and said she would send several children whose circles of divine power were destroyed, asking me to take good care of them. Just what is going on?’

She had felt considerable resentment toward her clan for sending her to the Spirit Realm and abandoning her, but after learning of the great purge that swept her clan afterward she realized it had been for the best. Moreover, the difference between having a clan and not having one was like heaven and earth, so she had no intention of abandoning her identity as a member of the Almighty Race. The goddesses of the Almighty Race they were sending had once been the most promising talents of the clan; even after their circles of divine power were destroyed the clan could not bear to give up on them and had frozen them instead. If the Dimensional Lord restored their circles they would naturally join the divine realm and expand its forces further.

With Gaiana and at least three female Main Gods of the Almighty Race possessing the highest potential, they should be able to restrain the current female Main Gods. ‘Above all, we must gather forces no matter what. Only then can we handle the female Main Gods and Spirit Main Gods whose power and influence are growing increasingly uncontrollable.’

She was on friendly terms with the female Main Gods, but the relationship had cooled somewhat after she had pushed Gaiana forward as the former Divine Realm Lord’s partner, so there was no hesitation. She had thought that one hundred primordial war gods above ordinary Main God level plus one thousand Main Gods of the Lord’s personal guard would be enough to suppress them if not overwhelm them, but their growth had been so abnormally rapid that she had abandoned the idea. All of it was the work of the Dimensional Mage God, the current Divine Realm Lord, who cared only about results and promotion, yet she could say nothing because she herself had benefited the most.

‘We must grow our forces somehow to maintain this precarious peace and prosperity. Yet I keep feeling like I’m sinking deeper into a swamp. The other side refuses to stay still, so we cannot stop. We have already absorbed more vitality than the limit, enough to cause harm, but no one can break free.’

In the beginning the gathering had not included all the former female Main Gods and highest-ranking goddesses. But once the opposing faction began rapidly healing their wounds and divine power with the Cosmic Tree’s sap, anxiety had driven them to assemble. ‘With such concentrated killing intent and fighting spirit, no one except the primordial war gods can even approach. The trend is that everyone else only replenishes the vitality they consumed in the smaller baths near the entrance, then leaves without making eye contact.’

Thus for several days now several thousand half-naked goddesses had been soaked in the thick steam of the grand bath, grinding their teeth at one another in an utterly ridiculous scene. They could not lift a finger to deal with anything happening outside, so their worries piled up like mountains, yet none of them could move.

With these complicated thoughts Gaiana rose from the bath, telling herself that nothing major could happen in the brief time she was gone. She ordered the primordial war gods—who were genuinely delighted to greet the rare honored guest—to remain on standby, then left the grand bath.

‘Who could it be? One of the Creator Gods?’

While pondering she hurried toward the outer Main God temple. A tremendous explosion reached her ears. It had clearly come from the grand bath she had just left.

Kwaaaaaang—!

Gaiana froze in astonishment. Then Torina’s loud voice rang out like a thunderclap, filled with the joy of finally being freed.

“Now that the nagging one is gone, shall we give it a try? As long as it’s not real combat it’s fine, right? Stop glaring at me so boringly and let’s settle this in one ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠go. Who wants to arm-wrestle me? How about you, you big oaf who only plays with marbles like a kid? This is just a game for harmony—!”

“Lokina? Doesn’t arm-wrestling violate the Divine Realm Lord’s absolute order against combat?”

“Your brain only works at times like this. Games also have winners and losers, but they don’t violate the order.”

“Is that so? Then let’s do it. I still can’t understand that first loss. My power and ability were clearly superior.”

“Even though you can manifest the secrets of Truth, the odds of winning with pure strength against that muscle-brained Torina are nearly zero. Besides, she’s sharper than anyone when it comes to petty tricks and her combat experience as a war god is enormous, so the outcome is uncertain. But arm-wrestling has fewer variables, so go ahead. Above all, we’ve been in a place with excessively concentrated vitality for too long. Bathing in Cosmic Tree sap so dense even a Main God would get drunk is a luxury we could never have imagined in the past, but the stimulation is so strong over a long period that maintaining sanity is becoming difficult. We should stop.”

“Then it’s decided. You know what happens if you lose, right? Bow your head deeply. Everyone—!”

“Since it’s a game let’s treat it as a preliminary skirmish. The loser must leave here immediately and be barred from entry.”

“Good—! Let’s settle it right now.”

“Don’t decide things on your own when you’re not even sure you’ll win—! And why are you acting like the representative? Why are you stepping forward, you idiot—!”

Bang—! Kwaaang—!

More explosions followed. Gaiana, who had been about to turn back toward the bath, hesitated briefly then continued toward the outer Main God temple. The Dimensional Lord’s temple was completely isolated from the outside and could only be entered through the designated door, so she had to walk. Moreover, because the space was saturated with the Dimensional Mage God’s authority that perfectly blocked even spatial movement, all Main Gods below him had to follow the designated path no matter how inconvenient.

Thus even during the short walk to the entrance the continuous explosions echoed from behind, but she deliberately ignored them. Her mind was already dazed from sheer absurdity. Her body was in peak condition from overflowing vitality, yet her mind was utterly exhausted. Come to think of it, ever since the Spirit Main Gods had swarmed in she had been in a constant state of tension, which was why her body had loosened the moment she stepped away. No—her mind had simply relaxed because she no longer had to look directly at those walking disasters.

‘It should be fine to rest a little. It has to be fine. The primordial war gods are handling things well, so I’ll greet the guest lightly, entertain them briefly, then rest a bit.’

Unconsciously covering both ears with her hands and shaking her aching head, Gaiana quickened her steps. The moment she reached the glorious seat of the Divine Realm Lord and confirmed the identity of the guest, her entire body froze solid.

“Is the Dimensional Mage God still not here? I thought he would have arrived by now, but he is quite late.”

The divine power contained in the single friendly sentence the other party spoke was beyond imagination, and their status was so overwhelmingly high it left her breathless. It was not a position a Main God could even look at as an equal. She finally understood why the self—which had grown endlessly arrogant after becoming the ego of a Highest Creator Divine Realm—had handed the matter over so urgently. In fact it had probably given up on dealing with the situation at all.

‘This is not someone I can handle.’

While Gaiana stood frozen, unsure what to do, the other party’s troubled expression brightened. The person they had been waiting for had finally arrived.

Oooooooong—!

The divine realm itself vibrated. Some entity had pierced the Highest Creator-rank defensive barrier through dimensional movement and teleported directly into the Main God temple. The moment the blurry figure that had so casually penetrated the barrier appeared, the will of the Divine Realm self burst forth at high speed, completely different from its earlier mechanical tone and filled with overwhelming emotion.

There was no reply to the self’s flattering praise. Without even sparing a glance to survey his surroundings, he threw himself into the seat of glory and focused all his authority. Thirteen pairs of wings of light and thirteen pairs of wings of darkness spread like blooming flowers. He was unmistakably the Dimensional Mage God who wielded both dimensional authority and magic.

Panting heavily, he issued a hurried command.

“Huff—! Huff—! Shut up and redirect all power to the divine realm barrier—! Do not let anyone through no matter what. Buy time by any means necessary—!”

“Executing immediately.”

Oooooooong!

Without question, a divine power barrier possessing nearly one trillion defensive strength formed at once. The divine realm’s barrier was built upon the divine power and authorities of its resident gods. A normal Highest Creator Divine Realm could form a barrier capable of blocking up to ten trillion, so the number was shabby. It was still this low because the Dimensional Divine Realm lacked sufficient gods. Yet with the urgently returned Dimensional Lord—whose authority specialized in defense—plus Origin joining in, they managed to produce comparable defensive power.

‘The divine realm barrier possesses far superior solidity and restoration compared to ordinary gods’ barriers, so it should hold for a while. Adding dimensional authority, the Creator-rank absorption authority of the Guerrilla Volcano, and even magic that denies reality means that even one of the 10 Mainstays cannot break through immediately. Anyone trying to enter the planet from outside will have to completely exhaust the divine realm’s barrier first.’

In the Dimensional Mage God’s estimation they had bought themselves at least several hours. The desperate long-range dimensional leaps across the Absolute Realm and 498 Master Universes had been worth it. He had nearly been caught midway.

“Good. We’ve bought repair time. I’ll recover for a moment then head straight to fix the magic tower. Who has time to let anyone grab their ankle? If I say I’ll do it, I do it until it’s done.”

After countless long-distance dimensional leaps that had exhausted even his mighty black-flame body to the point of screaming, the Dimensional Lord muttered deliriously, half to himself. Both Gaiana and the guest wore expressions that said they had no idea what he was talking about. Still, the joy of the Divine Realm Lord’s safe return and the lifting of their heavy burden was so great that they welcomed him warmly.

“O great Dimensional Lord. We sincerely welcome your safe return. But what happened? Why did you not come through the main gate and instead return so urgently through dimensional movement?”

“I’m being chased. We need to hide. I’ve blocked them for now, so Gaiana, if the barrier looks like it’s about to collapse, run.”

“Who is chasing you? Even a Highest Creator-rank barrier would be difficult for a Creator General to break alone—how could it collapse? There are no pursuers within the territory, so please calm yourself. More importantly, an honored guest has arrived.”

“An honored guest? I barely know any gods in the entire divine realm—who came? Hiiiiiiik—!”

Only then did the Dimensional Mage God calm down enough to look around. The moment he confirmed the guest’s identity his face filled with shock and he let out a bizarre scream. Startled by the unexpected reaction, Gaiana hurriedly tried to smooth things over.

“This is the Wind’s Unique Dragon God Emperor, ranked first individually among the Absolutes, ninth among races, and second overall. He is one of the 10 Mainstays in charge of military force. Among all Master Universes and the entire universe, he stands at the highest rank. Please show proper respect.”

But her words never reached the Dimensional Mage God. He simply muttered to himself like a lament.

“In the end I’m late. That’s how everything I do is. Nothing ever goes right.”