Interlude: A Bitter Taste of the Past

"You want to die?"

"Yes."

"But why?"

"It looks so good on you!"

"Anyway, I want to die."

The girls of Aurora and the staff of Channel Jeondeyong were making a massive fuss, gushing over how pretty she looked. Meanwhile, Suyun stood there, her face flushed red with embarrassment, her hands fidgeting restlessly as her eyes spun in dizzying circles. Right in front of the camera where they had placed her, the other members of Group Sound were snickering at her misery.

"Looking at your concert or broadcast outfits, you've worn things with way more exposure than this. Why are you so embarrassed now?"

"That was work, and this is..."

Suyun trailed off at Producer Ga-eun's question. Indeed, that was work. If they told her to wear something for work, what choice did she have? No one feels embarrassed wearing a uniform... That was the mindset Suyun had used to force herself into her stage outfits until now.

But now? This wasn't work—well, technically it was, but its sole purpose was to inflict maximum embarrassment upon Suyun. In times like this, it was best to push through with the mindset of 'the one who gets embarrassed loses,' but Suyun's mental fortitude in this particular department wasn't quite that resilient.

"Anyway, this is a bit much..."

"But it looks so good on you~"

"Looking good is a completely different matter."

Saying she looked good in this outfit was undoubtedly meant as a compliment, but Suyun couldn't accept it as one. Shivering with humiliation, she stared with dead, lifeless eyes at the three Group Sound members in the distance, who were whispering, "Look at her, look."

The three of them flinched under her gaze.

"Suyun, do you even know what kind of character that is?"

"Not a clue."

"Have you never heard this song before?"

The song playing in the background was definitely one she had heard before. She recalled someone mentioning it was a Japanese anime theme song. It was famous, so she had copied the guitar parts a few times in the past, but since it didn't really interest ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her, she had cast it to the back of her mind.

"I've heard it, but..."

"You don't know this? You don't know the idol dance?"

Choi Iseor began singing along while doing movements that looked like nothing more than a wild, chaotic dance, dragging her feet across the floor. Hilariously, the members of Aurora joined in, singing and dancing along with her. The girls were having a blast, hyping each other up.

"Suyun, you're wearing the outfit, so you have to join in!"

"I'd rather not."

"Come on, what's the point of dressing up if you're going to back out? This is when you have fun so you can gain more fans..."

"I didn't want this. You're the one who made me wear it."

"Don't be like that!"

Iseor grabbed Suyun by the shoulders and dragged her in front of the camera in an instant. Suyun quickly tried to shake her off to escape back to her corner, but Iseor's physical strength wouldn't allow it.

"Why do you keep trying to run away?"

"Exactly... Since you're wearing it, you should enjoy it at least once..."

"You wear it then."

"Oh, no... It only looks good because it's you, Suyun... Hehehe."

Jung Hyun-ah sneered and scurried away. Suyun wanted to grab her by the hair, but her current outfit restricted any sudden, violent movements.

"Alright, first, the signature pose! Raise your hands and make an inverted V like this!"

"I told you, I don't want to."

"Even if you don't want to, a professional does what needs to be done!"

Saying so, Iseor hoisted up the arms of a defeated Suyun to force her into the pose. Immediately, the sound of shutter clicks erupted from the side. Harin was frantically snapping photos. Suyun stared at the scene with dead eyes, then glanced at the computer monitor displaying the live chat.

What on earth is cute about this, what...

"Alright! Now we have to dance!"

"Stop it..."

There is a thing called a marionette—a wooden doll suspended by strings, controlled from above. Suyun's current situation was exactly like that. Like a marionette, she stood there with a completely hollow soul, her arms limply raised by Iseor as she performed a bizarre, lifeless dance.

And watching this, the Aurora members laughed and joined in, while the Group Sound members recorded videos to stockpile blackmail material.

That single comment perfectly summarized the ongoing situation.

After that chaotic event, the Paid Wi-Fi EP was officially released.

Unlike previous albums, there were no marketing tricks like hand-signed cards, limited-edition tracks, or hidden tracks. At most, the CD design was slightly different and the included photocard varied, but everything else was identical.

Despite this:

"I have the album sales figures! First-week sales for this EP reached 11,347 copies!"

"It sold more than before."

First-week sales had increased by about ten percent. Ha Hye-in spoke calmly to Manager Jung Yuyoung, as if she had expected it.

But Suyun saw it. She saw Hye-in clasping her hands together in prayer. In the first place, it was an EP with mediocre inclusions, so they shouldn't have expected high sales.

"It's not a dramatic increase, but considering how sparse the album package was, selling this many copies is highly encouraging!"

"Well, we did talk about the album quite a bit."

These days, almost no one in Korea buys physical albums just to listen to the music. Maybe in Japan, but not here. Because of that, whenever Suyun had a chance on social media or live broadcasts, she would say, "Please buy our album. It comes with unreleased live footage."

It wasn't particularly to make money. It was just a manifestation of her old-school mindset that a rock band should prove themselves through album sales. Whether the fans responded to that sentiment or simply wanted the unreleased live footage and photocards, they bought a significant number of albums.

"We didn't even do much promotion for this album, so we'll break even very quickly!"

"What's our current schedule looking like?"

"Well, we have a concert in a few days! And then, around the first half of the year, we're scheduled to hold a concert at the KSPO DOME!"

At Jung Yuyoung's words, Suyun twirled her hair slightly. Once those two concerts were over, after that... they would focus on activities in Japan.

There are still quite a few things I haven't achieved in Korea...

For example, reaching number one on the music charts, or winning major music awards. She also hadn't sold 100,000 copies of an album, nor had she performed in 30,000 or 50,000-seat venues, which only truly mainstream, public-friendly artists could do.

But did she really need to do those things?

Success is good. But...

Performing at the KSPO DOME. Holding a solo concert. Releasing a full-length album. Releasing an EP. Gaining recognition for her own compositions... Those stories, those goals. The things Suyun had achieved so far.

In truth, looking back... they weren't her ultimate goals. To be precise, they were lingering regrets from what she couldn't achieve in her past life. But even those regrets had been completely washed away with the Jangchung Arena concert.

Her drifting thoughts found nowhere to settle. Suyun unconsciously tuned out the conversation around her. They say there is no end to music, but she was in a state of not knowing what to aim for next. Perhaps that was why she had been struggling to write songs lately.

"...yun! Suyun!"

"Ah, I was lost in thought for a moment. I'm sorry. What is it?"

"Yes! Anyway, you mentioned it a while ago, right? About researching the Japanese market! You said you wanted to visit Japan once, and I was wondering if you still feel that way!"

"Japan."

Suyun lowered her head and stared at her fingertips. Well-groomed, with no issues.

Japan. The country of music, the country of bands, the country of rock.

I've achieved everything I needed to achieve.

So, was it now time to achieve what she wanted to achieve? With that thought, Suyun spoke.

"Let's do that."

"Great! Then the detailed schedule..."

Since she had achieved everything she needed to, it was time to pursue what she wanted. How far could her music reach? Suyun was curious.

Could her music, her band... Group Sound, succeed in Japan? Could they perform at the benchmarks of success... the Budokan, the Saitama Super Arena... and the Tokyo Dome?

I'll have to make sure we can.

Suyun thought to herself.

Group Sound's year-end concert at the Olympic Hall was also a sold-out success for both days, ending on a high note. Album sales were also steadily climbing toward their previous record of 30,000 copies.

Amidst the busy days, the year turned over. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠After the hectic start of the new year ended, Suyun finally found a moment to catch her breath. The first thing she did was...

"Welcome."

An automatic greeting that came out without even looking, just from the sound of someone entering. Suyun reflexively nodded toward the counter she couldn't even see, kept her eyes glued to the floor, and walked.

What she picked up was a bowl of Yukgaejang cup ramen and a bottle of Chamisul with a red cap.

"A pack of Lilacs, please."

"Lilacs...?"

"Yes. Lilac."

The cigarette pack handed to her was soft, without a hard ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠box. As she reached for the cigarettes, the clerk quickly spoke up.

"Ah, I need to check your ID."

"Sure."

She handed over her resident registration card, whose ink felt like it had barely dried. When she pulled down her mask, the part-timer looked back and forth between the photo and her face before handing the ID back.

"Thank you."

"Have a nice day~"

Leaving the convenience store, Suyun placed the soju and cigarettes on an outdoor table, went back inside to pour hot water into her ramen, and came back out. Grateful for the existence of her long padded coat, she waited for the ramen to cook.

So many of the old cigarette brands have disappeared.

Back when Suyun was Suh Myung-jun, the cigarettes he smoked were Arirang at first, then Sol. Until it was discontinued, he smoked Rose. After that was discontinued, he tried imported cigarettes and the ones young kids smoked, before finally settling on Lilac.

These days, people talk about electronic cigarettes or 0.1mg, saying they're smoking for their health...

If they cared about their health, shouldn't they just not smoke in the first place? That was Suyun's thought. You smoke to ruin your health, so what on earth are they doing?

Her phone alarm woke her from her thoughts. Exactly three minutes.

She peeled back the lid of the cup ramen and picked up her chopsticks. The steam rising from the slightly undercooked noodles gave away the cold weather. Stirring them slightly to shake off the excess broth, Suyun immediately put the noodles into her mouth.

And she thought: This is it.

Though he hadn't saved up much or enjoyed great wealth, Suh Myung-jun had lived a comfortable life. Yet, there were days like this. Days when, for no particular reason, you just wanted to sit at a convenience store table, grab any cheap snack, drink, smoke, and lazily pass the time.

I won't be able to do this for a while, so I should enjoy it now.

Would she be able to do this in Japan? Probably, but would she be able to find Yukgaejang cup ramen, Chamisul, and Lilac cigarettes there? Unlikely. So she had to enjoy it beforehand. Only by indulging the craving she had suppressed for years could she live with a clear mind.

With that thought, Suyun lit a cigarette and took a deep, heavy drag, just as she always used to.

And then...

"Cough! Hack, wheeze, ugh."

She suffered under the sudden onslaught of nicotine and tar.

Indeed. In the past, Ha Suyun was a girl who only carried cigarettes around for 'coolness.' Smoking one or two just to show off in front of other kids was the extent of it. While she drank like a fish, she often carried cigarettes without even lighting them.

On top of having such a body, she hadn't touched a cigarette in over two years. Furthermore, this was a harsh, strong cigarette, unlike the milder ones she used to smoke. Trying ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to smoke with the instincts of an old man who had smoked for decades as if trying to get lung cancer, it was only natural that she would suffer.

"Ugh, why is this so damn strong..."

Suyun muttered, opening the soju and taking a swig to rinse her mouth.

"Pfft!! Cough. Hack."

And she spat that out too.

Two years was more than enough time for Suyun's body to lose any tolerance it had for addictive substances like alcohol and nicotine. Without even realizing that, she had simply indulged in alcohol and cigarettes out of habit, only to end up coughing as if she were about to throw up.

And the convenience store part-timer, watching this scene from inside, was already writing a post on the internet.