Chapter 46
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 45
Chapter Title: I Did Stocks (1)
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– See you in a week. Let's have some more elegant fun then.
Yellow left those words behind and issued a one-sided eviction notice to me.
I wanted to grab her and hold on... but it was already too late. Being a yakuza boss was always a busy job.
I trudged... out into the street. I didn't stop anywhere and headed straight for the hyperloop train back to Korea.
On the way home, I was suddenly wracked with excruciating pain, my body twisting in agony. I quickly figured out why. The mana poisoning symptoms had flared up out of nowhere.
'Damn it... I never thought I'd experience this in my lifetime. For worthless mana like this to seep into my body.'
Mana poisoning brings three symptoms. First, an insatiable thirst, like your body is drying out completely.
No matter how much water you drink, your throat never improves—in fact, it only gets worse.
The next symptom is insomnia. You can't get a wink of sleep until you consume more mana.
And finally... a crushing headache that feels like your skull is being squeezed. Victims bash their heads against walls in a frenzy, desperate to escape the pain.
Unlike the other symptoms, this headache also clouds the victim's judgment severely.
People who would never consider suicide suddenly do, or they kill over the pettiest things—utterly bizarre behavior.
'At least that's a relief. If I were an ordinary person, I'd be going insane by now.'
In my case, thanks to my maki circulating quickly, the mana poisoning was milder than it could have been.
But even so, the ax-to-the-head headache lingered, tormenting me relentlessly.
'Shit...'
If my head just hurt steadily from the start, it might be bearable. But the pain easing up only to crash back worse was driving me mad.
'I need my maki to regenerate faster.'
This would all clear up once my maki regenerated enough to flush out the mana completely.
So, to produce maki at top speed, I pulled out my phone.
'Maki regeneration requires a stress-free body and proper nutrition. I've got plenty of the latter, so I just need to focus on the former.'
Stress—the root of all illnesses—hinders maki regeneration.
That's why people in the Empire always had their own routines for stress relief.
'In my case...'
My phone screen lit up with my bank account. Unlike before, when it was pathetically empty, now it was stuffed to the brim.
'Spending money. Nice—with this much, I can buy whatever I want.'
This was why the Isiwoos of this world was a penniless noble. Soft, small, and fragile, he indulged in every luxury imaginable without a dime to his name—and never lifted a finger to work.
How the hell did he plan to get his revenge like that?
...Of course, once I got used to the body, I started doing the same.
"Hoo... This time, I'm buying this!"
This time, I'd try a different kind of luxury. Something more valuable and productive than just splashing cash on designer brands.
It was created by some genius in the Netherlands to make business investments reliable—even total idiots could make a fortune if they played it right. An economic system.
Its miraculous name? Stocks.
'Why didn't I learn about this sooner?'
Money rots if you hoard it, but flows fresh if you let it circulate.
Fresh money snowballs faster, bringing massive wealth to its owner.
And stocks are the tool that rolls that snowball for you!
That was from the book Green forced me to read last time.
'Humans are clever bastards. Inventing a system like this. Compared to them, Empire folk are just dumb pigs.'
Even the poorest can seize vast riches! Fairly, too!
In the Empire's nobility-obsessed society, it's an incomprehensible cycle. Giving commoners a shot at living like nobles...!
'Is this what they call democracy or whatever? Impressive...'
If His Majesty the Emperor ever revives, we should introduce stocks to the Empire.
Brimming with optimistic thoughts about the future, I opened the stock app.
'Link the account... done! Now to get started.'
I'd already mastered stock basics ages ago. The system's so simple, one book is all you need.
Blue means down, red means up. Buy low, sell high—that's it.
'In other words, buy undervalued stocks.'
Undervalued stocks are cheap ones with high growth potential.
Buy shares in promising companies and sell when they rise.
'Finding undervalued stocks is easy for someone like me. Just a quick glance.'
Skimming the charts, I spotted several undervalued picks right away.
[Greeveina Stock]
Hm... A company selling magical girl merchandise? Kinda meh. But it has solid growth potential down the line.
'All in on this one.'
I decided to go all-in with my entire fortune—a rare move.
The advice about not putting all your eggs in one basket flashed through my mind.
But that's for cowards. True economic warriors embrace the risk to make bank.
'Worst case, I ask Green for more.'
Losses could happen. But Green's wallet would cover it.
And so, I snapped up every share of Greeveina Co. available.
Yeah, perfect! No more wasting money—productive economic activity like this feels damn satisfying.
"By tomorrow, I'll be filthy rich, right?"
Clutching that hope, I pressed my temples, trying to suppress the headache.
...Come to think of it, there was one more side effect from mana poisoning headaches.
***
Isaac Newton, discoverer of gravity, once said:
"I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people."
He said that because he'd dumped his entire fortune into stocks... and lost it all.
[Balance: 445 won]
And here was another victim overwhelmed by human madness.
"Wha...?"
The sole survivor of the House of Madness—renowned for berserk battles and creating Hetairoi—'Madness Isiwoos' stared blankly at the pitiful sum in his account.
This shouldn't have happened...? Having witnessed true madness, Isiwoos looked up at Green.
"What? You blew all the money I gave you?"
Green was utterly dumbfounded.
Explaining why would take a while.
Isiwoos had strutted home triumphantly, chin held high on his cute face, bragging, "I don't need your allowance anymore!"
Curious, she'd given him a forceful ravishing and left him alone—only to watch his face drain of color.
Soon, with a soul-crushed expression, he'd gazed at her on the verge of tears.
The dramatic shift—like watching a soap opera—left her speechless.
"It hasn't all been lost yet...! It's not a loss until you sell!"
"What bullshit. It's about to get delisted."
"N-No! It'll rebound soon! This is all manipulation by big players...!"
Green just stood there, watching the fiasco unfold.
...Was he always this stupid? Madness Isiwoos was famed as the Empire's master strategist. His perfectly placed Hetairoi repelled allied forces multiple times.
Yet this brilliant man was doing something profoundly idiotic right now.
'Sigh...'
Seeing his ashen face glued to his phone, a sigh escaped her unbidden.
Should she flick his forehead to snap him out of it? Nah, even that felt like a waste...
"Th-That's right...! There's still a chance. If I average down!"
"Hey, cut it out. I'll give you allowance money. Take this as a lesson and—"
"G-Green! Lend me 500 million! I'll pay you back double!"
500 million wasn't much to Green. She could earn that in an hour.
But seeing him like this made even that sting.
'...Nah, no.'
Still, he's the one I love—I should just give it to him. Resigned, she reached for her phone.
Then, a brilliant idea struck her.
"Ahem, ahem."
Green grinned, eyeing the fidgety Isiwoos.
He looked extra off today. Those big black eyes were bloodshot, like he'd done drugs.
'...In this brain-dead state, I could make him do whatever I want.'
Decision made, she placed a hand on his shoulder. He bristled in anger but was forced back down by her overwhelming grip.
"Isiyul. You want to borrow money from your big sis?"
"Y-Yeah! Lend it to me! I'll pay you back for sure!"
"Then... hmm, you'll have to do something for me. Can't just give it for free, right?"
"...Fine, fine! I'll do anything!"
"Then wear this and have sex with me."
Green reached out, opening her subspace. She pulled out green clothes and tossed them next to Isiwoos.
"Put this on and screw your big sis, and the money's yours."
It was cosplay gear.